Cora's bedroom, Downton Abbey

She wore a black corset. That simple fact was what shocked him back into reality. And reality was, this woman was not Cora. And she never would be. In fact, Jane Moorsome was nothing like Cora.

Cora was graceful and sophisticated, intelligent and kind, forgiving and generous, firey yet sweet. Her smile set his heart on fire, her laugh took his breath away, her kiss brightened his day. When she was by his side he felt invincible. She always guided him in the right direction, helped him to find his way. Without her, he was lost. So lost, that he no longer knew the difference between love and lust. The difference being, that he remained - no matter what - absolutely desperately recklessly in love his darling Cora, and that Jane was his idiotic way of filling the void Cora had left (or was going to leave). It was futile of course, no one could ever replace Cora, especially when she wasn't even gone.

Jane stood in front of him expectantly. Her dark hair hung down her back and her pale eyes stared. She wore a black corset. He blinked. For some reason, the corset symbolised the difference between Jane and Cora. Cora wore a white corset usually, sometimes with coloured adornments, but never black. And now, of course, she didn't wear any corset at all. The baby. The cause of all his woes. If it wasn't for the baby, Cora would be curled up beside him right now. Telling him of her expedition to London. Modeling her new dresses and laughing her adorable laugh. Teasing him about something or other, or maybe doing her hilariously inaccurate impressions of his mother (even after more than thirty years she couldn't do a proper english accent). If it wasn't for the baby, she wouldn't be considering leaving him. Well, he certainly hoped that she wouldn't.

He looked at his surroundings. He was suddenly repulsed and disgusted by himself. Why, why was he in Cora's bedroom? What had possessed him to bring a maid into his wife's room? On his wife's bed. He shuddered. Jane continued to stare at him. The sheets smelled of Cora, her delicate floral perfume still hung in the air. Guilt churned in his stomach. He resisted the urge to retch right there and then. Cora's wardrobe door was slightly ajar, and he spied a ribbon peeping out like a teal tendril of smoke. Cora's things, all scattered like chapters of her life across the room. Years like pages. He could stand it no longer, he looked at the woman in front of him. She wore a black corset.

"I can't." He said suddenly. Jane frowned in wonder. What just happened? One minute he was whispering sweet nothings in her ear and practically tearing her clothes off, the next he was sullen and telling her to leave. She looked around her. They were in his wife's room. That must be it. "We can go somewhere else, I don't mind." She smiled stroking his cheek lightly. When he recoiled at her touch she was visibly shocked. "She doesn't deserve you Robert, darling. I want to make you happy, obviously she doesn't care-"

"Enough!" He yelled, jumping up. She took a step back. "You are the one who told me about her 'escapades' with the 'art historian'. Don't pretend that you think very highly of her. She certainly doesn't think highly of-" Jane was cut off again. "I said Enough! I will not have you speaking about my wife like that!" Jane narrowed her eyes, anger building up inside. "If you care for her so much, what are you doing with me?! What happened to 'my darling Jane' and 'I love you'?! What suddenly changed your mind?" Her eyes were welling up with tears. He looked at her, even more disgusted by his actions. The woman in front of him was crying properly now. Her hair was dishevelled and she wore little more than her black corset.

He remembered that she was a widow, with a son not too much older than Sybbie. She had been so desperate for work, that she was forced to return to this house. And he had preyed on her, like a beast anxious for his next meal. Not only had he pretended to himself that he truely cared for her, but he had clearly caused her to believe it too. How could he have been so cruel. He didn't even really know why he did it in the first place. Was he so weak and needy that after a few months without Cora's constant affections, he was desperate enough to sleep with the next woman he saw? He had promised himself that after Cora's near death experience with Spanish Flu, he would never be unfaithful to her again. But, when he discovered her 'relationship' with that ghastly Bricker, he snapped. If she wasn't bothered about being faithful to him anymore, then why should he be faithful to her? He told himself that his promise all those years ago was no longer valid. And then Jane made her return.

"I'm sorry." He said uselessly. She continued to weep. "I'm sorry that I may have.. am, led you to believe an untruth.. regarding my am, emotions-" he rambled until she stopped him. "You mean you're sorry that you lied to my face and told me that you loved me even though you don't give a toss." Jane had dried her eyes. "Amm, well.." he sighed. She began to put her clothes back on. "I'm afraid I can't hand in my notice. I need this job." Robert frowned slightly. "That's okay. I, I am.." She rolled her eyes. "What?" He bit his lip. "I, I would appreciate if you kept our,ahh, meetings , between ourselves. " he stammered. Jane glared at him. "Don't worry, M'Lord, I'll keep your dirty little secret - for now. But know this, if you try to sack me, your secret will be front page news." Robert rose his eyebrows. "Are you threatening me?" She smiled softly, "I believe the term used is 'blackmail ' M'Lord "

Then she left. Robert sunk into the bed. How did he end up like this? Blackmailed by a maid. He just hoped that she wouldn't ask for anything more. He turned his thoughts to Cora. He needed to find a way to win her back. But how?

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Two days later

Downstairs, Downton Abbey

"Lady Edith and Mr Thompson are engaged." Mr Barrow announced when he came downstairs. Mr Moseley, Mrs Patmore and Daisy were especially delighted with the news since they were at the Abbey when Sir Anthony Strallen broke the Lady's heart. They knew how much Lady Edith deserved happiness. Mrs Goswami was fairly happy too, but Thomas pay much attention to her reaction. She still unnerved him. Jacqueline sensed his unease and frowned slightly to herself. She was very curious as to why he was so uncomfortable around the lady's maid. She resolved to ask him later. The other staff set about preparing for the celebrations, so she took the opportunity to sneak back to her sitting room.

She could sympathise with Lady Grantham, she too had a bothersome mother. Jacqueline read her mother's letter again and put the finishing touches to her reply. Although she knew that her lies would eventually catch up with her, she realised that the best way to deal with her mother, was to lie. So she did. She bit her lip, wondering if she was going too far with this particular untruth. Yorkshire was very far from London, so she wasn't afraid that her mother would make an unexpected visit and discover the truth. She had been lying for years now, each lie more elaborate than the last. Attempts to delay the inevitable.

Jacqueline had conjured boyfriends out of thin air in order to escape the dreaded arranged marriage. She cared for her mother, and her mother cared for her, but they were never very close. And they certainly weren't close enough for Jacqueline to be able to tell her mother the truth. It had taken a long time even for Jacqueline to accept who she was, and how she felt. That she was different. That she could never openly be with the person she loved. At first she had been scared, scared of her feelings. She had been raised to shun such people, taught that they were wrong and ungodly. She had believed it too, until she realised that she was 'like them'.

There weren't many ways to escape marriage, or delay it, but she had managed so far. She knew that when the time finally came, and she was married off to some rich old man, she could make it work. The house would probably be enormous and she wouldn't nessesarily have to see the man at all. Maybe she might fall in love with one of the maids, Mistresses were common, it wouldn't be a problem, well she hoped it wouldn't. She had learned to love herself for who she was and was comfortable with her life. Well, her double life.

Her mother didn't know about that either. Such was the dilemma of an Honourable who doesn't want to be. The Honourable Jacqueline Carter Davison never liked upper class living, much like Lady Sybil in that sense. What really set her down the road she was now on is the discovery of her true parentage. When she was sixteen, she discovered that her mother wasn't her mother. Who she called 'Mama' - the Baroness of Larkin, Lady Catherine Carter Davison - was only her father's wife. Jacqueline's birth mother was in fact Lady Catherine's ex-lady's maid. Lady Catherine had always wanted a child, which must be why she took Jacqueline as her own, as apposed to throwing her out with her birth mother.

That revelation convinced Jacqueline that she was not meant to be an Honourable. She had working class blood, and she wanted to embrace that side of her heritage. She had no desire for elaborate dinner parties or standing behind the guns. She wanted to do something with her life, and in her eyes, going into service and ignoring her aristocratic upbringing, was the perfect way to do this. However, in the process of doing this, she had lied to her mother. The sad truth was that, while her mother believed her to be staying with her good friend Lady Edith and doing fun girly things like shopping and gossiping, she was really the Grantham's housekeeper. How she was still managing to get away with this, she was unsure, but she was grateful.

Jacqueline was then convinced that she didn't belong in the upper class and tried to leave. Her Mama forced her to wait until she was presented, which she reluctantly did. Interestingly, she was directly behind Lady Edith that fateful day. That very evening her father became ill and died within the week. He left them bankrupt. He had managed to keep their financial issues secret until his death, so they suddenly found themselves penny less. Jacqueline immediately went into service. Since then she had preteded that she was always working class. And lied to her mother, who had remarried to a doctor. Everything was working out perfectly, and she wasn't about to let her mother's pestering get in the way.

'Dear Mama,

Thank you for your letter, I am glad that you are all well. I am good. Lady Edith and I went dress shopping a few weeks ago, and I met such a nice man. I've been stepping out with him. His name is Thomas Barrow, and he is ever so kind. He is a lawyer (no millionaire heirs in Yorkshire Mama, sorry) but I don't want a title anyway. I don't want to get your hopes up, but he might be the one!
The Granthams are awfully generous and kind to me. Lady Edith is now engaged! How exciting! And, there are rumours that Lady Grantham is with child! I know that you think she is much too old, but there doesn't seem to be any other explanation. Nothing has been announced yet, so don't breath a word to anyone. Please, Mama, I know what you're like. Other than that, not much has happened. I'll keep you updated on Mr Barrow and any other drama at the house.
Lots of love,
Jacqueline xxx '

She sighed. But it had to be done. Using the butler's name was a risk, but if worst came to worst, he would probably help her. At least, she certainly hoped that he would.

Hello!

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Yeah, it's been a while. THANK YOU SOO MUCH FOR 7.5K READS! WOOP!

Sorry for the terrible delay, I was on holidays and reading, and all sorts and I've actually started like 6 other fanfictions as well so...