When you fall in love for the first time

You won't even know it's happening

The dancing streets, heels against cobblestones

The glow of the lampposts

Things you wouldn't even whisper

You are now ready to exclaim

The whole world is spinning and yet

It is perfectly still

In this great, big universe

It is just two sets of eyes

And the landmarks we created

The park benches where we were honest for the first time

Where you made sure i was okay before we got up

The truth can do that to you -

Knock the wind out of your sails

Or the first time we touched each other on purpose

I linked your arm with mine

And i could feel the stars burning above us

And the moon sneaking a glance

As we 'forgot' all about it

And you walked me home

The first time i went to that pizza place

I only joined you because we had things to discuss

Not for your company, why of course not

With every laugh

It became harder to think of a reason that i hated you in the first place

I thought only i experienced the clock ticking slower

Every second you weren't with me

But the calls and the texts

And the exasperated "where were you"s put that all to rest

So i made the leap

And served my heart on a silver platter

Full, beating and red

And i watched you watch it beat blue and gasp

But now time doesn't seem to pass at all when we're together

And every time we're alone we wait for someone to join us;

our desperate eyes search, pleading with anyone to end our suffering

I watch you when i used to run to you

And i miss you when i see you every single day

 i love you

But i can't do this anymore

We can't even pretend to be friends properly

I remember what you said

Believe me, every word

But i felt us that night

We saw each other for the first time

I don't think i've ever had that with anyone

And despite what you say

I don't think you have either

Strangers think we're in love

Your friends and my friends

Steal glances every time we look at each other

We weren't alone

It felt like it was just us

But everyone got to witness

The way we were

I didn't stop smiling for three months

I miss you

I miss your honesty

I was trying to break down a wall

And you threw open the gates

Now i can't even see the wall anymore

I'm on the outside looking in

Losing what we had was hard enough

I wasn't prepared to lose you as a friend

I don't think i'll ever be

but we haven't been friends for ages

So who are we kidding

I knew this didn't need a dramatic close

You don't need me to take a bow

So i was ready to watch you from afar

Having you in my rearview was better than not having you at all

But just as i take my first breaths

You hook yourself on

And i have to learn all over again

i refuse to do this anymore

We aren't fucking friends

You didn't have to admit anything because i wasn't prepared to lose you

But it's time

For this ship to sail

You are losing me.