Val had been spending the following weeks avoiding her room at all costs. She had been sleeping in the Room of Requirement and only went to her room to get ready for classes.

She said the password and the portrait door swung open. Having to wake up at the crack of dawn everyday so she could be in and out unnoticed was becoming a bigger effort than she would have liked.

"What has you returning here so late?" someone spoke up and Val jumped. She shook her head as she focused on Sirius who sat on the couch, an accusatory expression on his face. "Or early, depending who you ask."

"Shouldn't you be asleep?" she asked as she made her toward the stairs that led to her room.

"Shouldn't you be asleep?" he countered and she rolled her eyes. He stood up and followed her to the stairs. "If you're cheating on him, I will end you."

She huffed before turning to face the boy, "I'm not cheating on him." She wanted to add that he was an idiot for even thinking it but she was aware of how the situation looked. "I wouldn't do that."

"But you're going to break up with him?" he inquired and she frowned.

"I didn't say that."

"But you're not not saying it."

"I'm not not not saying it either."

"None of us ever thought he would ever get over Evans," he explained and Val wanted to tell him to shut up but thought better of it. She really didn't want to sit here and listen to how much James loved Lily. Correction: loves. "I didn't even believe it when he first told us you were dating. But then I saw the way he looked at you."

Val took a deep breath. This would really be the best time to fess up. To tell him it was all an act. But it wasn't her place to do so.

"Just, be gentle, okay?" Sirius requested. "James had a big heart and as much he would refuse to admit it, he's a softie."

"I'm not going to break up with him," she informed the boy. They would mutually agree to break up, she wanted to point out, but once again, not her place.

"Does he know that?"

She was taken aback by this, "What?"

"He may be oblivious pretty much all of the time but he's not an idiot," he informed her. "He can tell that something is up."

"But nothing is up."

"Then why are you returning at four in the morning?" he asked and she wanted to tell him but 'to avoid being murdered in my sleep' didn't seem like a sufficient response.

"I have to go," she announced. "I'll see you in class." She started up the stairs and he didn't call for her to come back.

Val sat down at the table next to James later that day and dropped a bag full of galleons in the middle. "Boys really do think they're original."

"Where did you get all of that?" Sirius inquired as he looked at the bag.

"Did you already forget about the banner hanging in the common room?"

His face dropped, no doubt thinking about their conversation from earlier. "And you did it?"

She rolled her eyes, "Of course not. At least not in the way they were expecting."

"What does that even mean?" James asked in confusion. She turned to look at him and she couldn't get a read on his expression.

"It means when they handed the galleon over, I kneed them right between the legs," she explained as she placed food on her plate. "My technique improved after the first four or five."

"Ow," Sirius said sympathetically and Val rolled her eyes.

"Take it to Hogsmeade with you," she suggested. "Buy yourself something for your pranks."

"I don't want your stripper money," Sirius pointed out and James threw an apple at the boy. "Ow."

"Well I have no need for it and I'm certainly not going to return them," she explained as she stood up. "Do with them as you please."

James's eyebrows were pinched together in thought as the girl walked away. He reached into the bag before pulling out one of the coins. He turned it over in his hand, "There's a spell that can figure out who had it before her, right?"

"Yeah," Remus agreed. "But there are at least thirty in there. It'll take time."

"Good thing there's four of us then, isn't it?" he inquired as he dropped the coin into the bag. "Because I have an idea."

She made her way up to the boys room as soon as she managed to connect the dots. She could not believe they could do something so incredibly stupid. But maybe that made her the stupid one.

"Would one of you care to explain to me why there is a line out the door of the infirmary?" Val demanded, her arms crossed over her chest.

"It's flu season," Remus excused and she narrowed her eyes.

"And everyone who got the flu conveniently tried to pay me for a blow job?" The three boys looked up and she was ready to kill them all, "When I said do whatever you want, this isn't what I thought you would do."

"You told us to use the money for our prank stuff," Sirius reminded her.

"This isn't what I meant!" she exclaimed.

"Your instructions were unclear," James pointed out. "We heard people were bothering you and then you suggested a prank. You basically asked us to do it."

She scoffed before she turned around and marched out of the room. "You may want to go after her," Remus suggested and it took James a moment to realize he was talking to him.

"Right," James agreed before he got up and followed after the girl.

"Val!" he shouted after her. She had made it all the way out the portrait by the time he got down the stairs. "Would you-Val!"

"Why would you do that?" she demanded, turning around to face him, anger clear in her expression.

"I'm supposed to be your boyfriend," he pointed out. "Defending your honor and what not."

"But you're not really my boyfriend," she reminded him and he wasn't sure why but that hurt him more than anything she had ever called him before. "Why are we even still doing this?"

"I-" he began but nothing came out. He paused for a moment. Why were they doing this? And then he remembered. "I've been pining after Lily for the past six years. If you think I'm going to give up because she hasn't said anything after us doing this for a few weeks, you're mad."

"It's been two months," she pointed out and he was surprised at this. It didn't feel like it had been two months. "If it hasn't worked yet, what makes you so sure it will at all?"

"How about this," he began. "If it doesn't work by the time we return from the holidays in January, I'll let it go."

She crossed her arms over her chest, "What's in it for me?"

"Ever heard of just doing someone a favor?" he replied with a pointed expression and she rolled her eyes. "If you do this, I promise that you will get one of the top scores in Transfiguration."

"That's one hell of a deal," she informed him. "Are you sure you can handle it?"

"Please, I fail at nothing."

"Except for getting Evans to go out with you," she countered. "That you've failed on an astronomical level."

He narrowed his eyes, "Funny."

"That's why you are no longer in charge of this whole mission, make Lily jealous thing," she explained as she made her way down the hall. He followed after her, "I am."

"I don't know if that'll end well."

"Have you been successful?" she inquired and he clamped his mouth shut. "Precisely."

She paced back and forth in front of a wall for a moment before entering the room. He followed in after and the door closed behind them.

"Perfect," she announced as she approached an easel of sorts that had a giant pad of paper held up on it. She picked up the quill and turned to face the boy who was watching her with a raised eyebrow. "Let's start with all of the things there are to hate about you."

His once confused expression morphed into worry, "I don't like where this is going."

"Okay, I'll start," she turned around to face the paper. She dipped her quill into the ink before writing, 'conceited.'

"I am not conceited," he protested and she rolled her eyes. She wrote something else and he gasped rather dramatically, "What's wrong with my hair?"

"What isn't wrong with your hair?" she countered. He raised his hand to his head with a frown. "Let me cut your hair."

He stood up at this, "You're not touching my hair."

"It's a mess," she pointed out. "It needs to be cut."

He hopped up on the couch, "Stay away from my hair."

She rolled her eyes, "You act like I have a pair of scissors in my hands right now."

"For all I know, you have them hidden on you somewhere."

"Get off the couch," she ordered.

"No."

"James-"

"You're not cutting my hair."

"Merlin, I won't go near your hair just get your feet off the couch." He narrowed his eyes as he slowly got off and took his seat again. She rolled her eyes at his antics, "Moving on."

"Hey, I listen," he interjected as she added another thing to the list. She shot him a look and he sunk down in the seat before muttering, "Sometimes."

"Do you have anything you want to add?"

"Yes, 'makes very bad decisions in regards to who his fake girlfriend should be,'" he suggested. "And that should be number one."

She picked up a book that was on the table and threw it at him. He dodged it just in time, "That was rude."

"You're rude," she countered.

"Can we move on to the good things now?" he requested. "I think you've bruised my ego more than enough for one day."

"I disagree but sure," she replied. "I can't think of anything."

"Please, I'm the best fake boyfriend you've ever had."

"You're the only type of boyfriend I've ever had," she countered and he seemed surprised by this. "What?"

"I just thought you had had boyfriends before," he answered honestly.

She shook her head as she turned to face the list, fighting down the blush that was creeping up her neck, "Nope. Never really digged the whole monogamy thing."

"Now that doesn't surprise me."

"Watch it," she spoke warningly.

"Just a joke," he informed her. "You can add the best Quidditch player to the good side."

"Which brings us back to the whole conceited thing."

"Okay, I give up," he announced. "What's the point of this?"

"If we can pinpoint the bad things and fix them and accentuate the good ones, we can fix you up for her," she explained.

"I don't need fixing."

"Everybody needs fixing," she countered. "But if you don't want to change yourself, we're going to have to figure out ways to get her to confess her feelings for you."

"And how do we do that?"

"What we've been doing now has been working, it's just not working fast enough," she pointed out.

"Then why don't we just amplify what we've been doing," he suggested.

"If you're suggesting we have sex in the Great Hall, that's not happening."

"Why is that where your mind went?"

"Then what were you thinking?"

"I don't know," he replied. "I mean, now it's just minimal PDA. The only time it was more than that was-"

"The kiss in the Great Hall," she finished for him. She turned around to scan over the bookshelf as yet another blush crept up her neck, "I remember. You think that'll work?"

"Wouldn't hurt to try."

She rolled her eyes, "You are way too excited about this."

"Au contraire," he replied. "You're not excited enough."