Nang mabuksan ko ang pinto sa backseat ay sinalubong kaagad ako ng masungit na boses ni Yohan. “Wag ka d’yan umupo, hindi mo ako driver.”

For my safety, sumunod ako sa sinabi niya at umupo sa shotgun seat. Pinaandar niya kaagad ang sasakyan kahit hindi pa ako nakakapag-seatbelt kaya muntikan na akong tumapon paharap.

“Wala ka pang driver’s license ‘no?!” isang bulyaw ang ibinigay ko sakanya. Dali-dali kong inayos ang seatbelt ko habang siya ay parang wala lang at pinaharurot ang sasakyan.

Higit pa ata sa one hundred na mura ang sinabi ko dahil wala talaga siyang preno-preno. Humawak ako ng maigi sa handle para bigyan ng proteksyon ang sarili ko. I guess sitting in the backseat and the shotgun seat doesn’t make a difference! Kung gusto niya akong patayin sa kaba, papatayin niya talaga ako. Instead of praying for my safety, I chose to look at him with despise and wish for the car to lose control so that both of us will suffer.

I realized the path we’ve taken was the opposite of where the sports complex was located. Yohan and his crazy antics should decrease at least if he couldn’t stop.

People who were born with silver spoons always got a way to live to their liking without thinking about how their actions would affect the people around them. Yohan has crossed his line to me several times and dealing with him, again and again, is sickening.

Rather than talking, which for sure he won’t even take a single word, I kept silent the entire hell-ride. I almost fell at his no war for us tonight.

He made a turn and my eyes squinted at the familiar surroundings. He literally takes the path towards the Milea Bay cliff where I usually stay if I want to unwind. Bakit kami napadpad dito?

If he’ll do something bad to me tonight, I hope he’ll be stupid enough to forget about the dashcam.

“We are here!” anunsyo niya na parang sanay siyang kasama ako pumunta rito. “Dog shows aren’t for us because we’re no ordinary people,” he said as if we were close enough.

Una siyang bumaba ng sasakyan at pumunta sa likuran. Nagdadalawang-isip pa ako kung bababa ba ako o hindi dahil baka may baseball bat siya sa likod at pagkatapos ay itatapon ako sa dagat. After a minute of contemplating, bumaba ako ng sasakyan with my fists tight close. I need to gather my strength para dalawang suntok lang ay mapuruhan na siya.

To my surprise, Yohan pulled out a picnic container and a blanket from the car’s trunk. Is he taking me out on a picnic night date? Like eww?

“Gago. Wala akong gusto sa’yo.” sabi niya at pinabitbit sa akin ang checkered blanket. Minura pa niya ako tapos papabitbitin pa ako ng super badoy na picnic blanket.

Nakita kong sumenyas sa kanya si Donato pagkatapos ay binalingan ako. Yohan and his connections will really make me feel small.

“Nagpa-background check ako sa’yo,” saad niya. For a moment, I suddenly felt naked in front of him. His boldness in confessing he ran a background check on me is a total disturbance. Out of uneasiness, my thumb is busily scratching the tip of my pointer finger.

Hinayaan ko lang siyang magsalita tungkol sa mga nalalaman niya sa akin kahit hindi ako komportable. Gusto kong malaman kung hanggang saan ang mga nalalaman niya sa buhay ko para makapag-isip ako ng maayos kung ano ang dapat kong gawin.

“Pero wala akong makuha na kahit ano bukod sa pangalan mo kaya pinasundan kita at nalaman kong palagi kang pumupunta rito.”

Para akong nabunutan ng tinik nang marinig iyon. Hearing that he got nothing from running a background check made me at ease. Ibig sabihin lang ay maayos kong nagawa ang pagtago ng mga impormasyon ko.

“Engkanto ka ba?”

Napataas ang kilay ko sa tanong niya. I’ve heard a lot of comments saying I look like a goddess. Pero engkanto? Ngayon pa lang.

“O ibang supernatural being? Sa school record mo kasi, walang nakaregister na birthday mo. Kanina ko pa nga nalaman na Laurier ang surname mo.” pagtutuloy niya sa kwento.

I always wanted to live a life where I am the only person who knows about myself. I find it unnecessary to tell people about my life, my past, and what I want to be and do in the future. My life in Milea Bay is so far, so good.

Yohan probably have done it because he wanted to be knowledgeable about me. Halatang gusto niyang malaman kung ano ang kahinaan at lakas ko at gamitin iyon laban sa akin. But the way he spoke earlier doesn’t seem like a threat. Maybe I grew on him and he wanted to understand me?

Naputol ang pag-iisip ko nang makarating kami sa palagi kong pinupwestuhan. Kinuha niya mula sa akin ang checkered blanket at nilatag ito. Matagal niya itong naayos dahil palagi itong nililipad ng hangin. Nararamdaman kong tumitingin siya sa akin pero umiiwas lang ako ng tingin dahil wala sa isip kong tumulong. Siya ang nakaisip kaya siya ang gumawa.

I closed my eyes and allowed the salty air to touch my flesh. Just like the nights I spent here, the sea breeze is consistent in making me feel at ease. My body started to feel detoxified yet my mind started to think about why did Yohan bring me here.

“Brondon’s chicken?” Yohan offered a box he got from the basket. May taste din pala ang taong ‘to. Naglabas din siya ng canned beer at soda. “Pili ka lang d’yan,” sabi niya at bumukas ng isang canned beer.

He brought two boxes and I took a whole box of Brondon’s chicken for myself. Eating the chicken with my bare hands would be perfect pero wala atang tubig na dala si Yohan base sa laman ng picnic basket niya. Speaking of tubig, I remembered telling Cherry’s dad to bring me water. If only I could ask him to bring the water here...

I opened my phone and searched for his number. I’m contemplating if I should call or text him or just ignore my need for water. After a few minutes of staring at my phone, I decided to just drink the soda.

Yohan has been seriously eating his food. Tumitingin lang siya sa akin at hindi nagsasalita. Akala ko ay magiging awkward kami sa isa’t isa dahil nasanay kaming puro bangayan at away ang ginagawa. Puwede rin pala kaming magsama, kailangan nga lang ng pagkain para sa ikakatahimik naming dalawa.

“When I was at the café, why did you pull a stunt to annoy me? I mean, tahimik ka kasi ngayon habang kumakain,” I recalled the day when I tried to use the card Vice M gave.

He stopped taking a bite from the chicken and swallowed. “Hindi kasi ako kumakain n’un e,” pagdadahilan niya.

After consuming thirty minutes from eating, Yohan asked me to stroll on the cliff to digest the food that we ate. Hindi na ako umarte pa at sumang-ayon nalang.

Habang naglalakad ay may pinakita siya sa akin na picture ko na naninigarilyo. The photo was taken below from the lighthouse’s balcony. I was leaning on the balcony while letting myself lost in the vast sea.

“I’m a human after all,” I commented before he could use it as a drag. “It’s not a reason but a fact.”

“Don’t get defensive. Magtatanong lang sana ako kung anong brand ng sigarilyo ang ginamit mo,” saad niya tsaka humalakhak. “You know... You and your standards.”

My standards?

For a moment, I fell silent and my mind traveled back to the day the picture was taken. As I recalled where I bought the cigarette and how much it was, my face heated in embarrassment. I eminently hate myself for doing and buying cheap things without thinking about how it will get back at me.

“Ayos ka lang ba?” he asked, eyes looking down on me kaya napatingin din ako. Nasorpresa ako nang makitang nakakuyom pala ang dalawa kong kamay ng hindi ko naramdaman.

“N-nanlamig kasi ‘yong mga kamay ko kaya...” pagdadahilan ko tsaka binuka ulit ang mga kamay.

“Hindi ako kumbinsido na dinala mo ‘ko rito para lang mag-picnic. And I don’t think you’re here because you want to study your enemy’s territory?” I finally asked the questions running in my head. I also diverted the topic before he’ll take over my emotions.

The rich moonlight and the streetlight helped me to see how his eyes move irregularly for a moment. Habang tumatagal kami rito ay nahahalata kong binubuksan ni Yohan ang sarili niya sa akin. Kung gusto niyang kaibiganin ako ay hindi siya magtatagumpay. Ayaw kong may makialam sa buhay ko at ayaw kong magkaroon ng responsibilidad sa ibang tao bilang isang kaibigan.

Narating namin ang lighthouse pero hindi pa niya sinasagot ang tanong ko. Dahil may koneksyon siya ay malaya naming napasok ang lighthouse kahit hindi na puwede. Nakakapasok lang ako rito kung i-blablackmail ang guwardiyang nagbabantay.

“I can afford to ignore your business with my mother and I am willing to have a truce with you,” his voice sounds sincere and firm, however, I can feel goosebumps all over my body. This is not a love confession, isn’t it? Because if it is, I will never hesitate to push him on the edge.

He chuckled nervously as he looked at my frowning face. He even shook his head, and I took it as an answer that he was not making a love confession to me. What a relief!

“One thing I can’t afford is to see Ady with another man,” he said while looking straight into my eyes, sounding like a blue man in one-sided love.

So he’s whipped to that Ady girl. What’s with that girl at patay na patay sa kanya si Yohan and perhaps Cherry’s dad too? Their standards are so low for liking that damsel in distress wannabe.

“So what’s the connection of your one-sided love between you, being willing to have a truce with me?”

Kahit na mahangin ay pinagpapawisan ang noo ni Yohan. Halata ring tensyonado siya dahil sa tanong ko.

“I believe in your power Ax. Help me out so Ady will see me...” those words made me blink several times. Anong power?!

“I’m not cupid! Dahil ba wala kang informations na nahagilap tungkol sa akin ay i-coconclude mo na isa akong supernatural being?!”

The hell with this blue boy! Akala niya ata si Cupid ako o sorcerer na gumagawa ng love potion.

“Sa Siquijor ka pumunta Yo! Maraming gumagawa ng love potion d’un,” I suggested bago pa niya ulit ako pakiusapan.

“No Axis.. iba ang ibig kong sabihin,” sabi niya habang umiiling. “Naalala mo ‘yong lalaki sa dog pound na pinagsabihan tayo tapos ‘yong lalaking pinagtanggol si Ady sa café? Nakita ko kayo kagabi na magkasama noong hinahanap kita.”

I rolled my eyes as I listened to him. So what I did last night with Cherry’s dad to run away from Yohan’s sight wasn’t effective at all. Napagod lang ako and worse, nakatapak pa ng tae.

“That dog pound employee goes by the name Mau. Sabi ng mga kaibigan ko, sila daw ni Ady pero hindi ako kumbinsido dahil wala namang nabanggit sa akin na sila na. Ang alam ko lang ay gusto siya ni Ady.”

Sa buong buhay ko, hindi ko pa naranasang maging interesado sa love life ng iba at hindi ko inaasahang sa love triangle pa talaga nila ako magiging interesado.

So... Yohan likes Ady but Ady likes Cherry’s dad. Based on what I saw from the café last time, mukhang gusto rin ni Cherry’s dad si Ady.

I studied Yohan who’s now sitting on the floor, back leaning on the wall and watching the sky above. Nighttime really hits different as it makes people like Yohan sentimental. Sana maisip niya na malaki ang mundo at marami pang mga babae na hindi niya pa nakikita. Mga babaeng mas pa kay Ady.

Tumabi ako sa kanya at ginaya ang posisyon niya. Kinuha ko ang phone ko at kinuhanan ng litrato ang kaliwang kamay habang ang background ay ang langit na punong-puno ng bituin.

“What’s upsetting you, e hindi naman pala sila? Make a move, make an effort. Nakaya mo nga akong sundan para awayin at i-background check, siya pa kaya na gusto mo?” I wanted to puke after saying those words. Kailan pa ako naging taga-comfort? Yohan should better pay me for comforting him!

“Dahil hindi mo nakukuha ang ibig kong sabihin,” pagdadahilan niya at parang sinisisi pa ako sa pagiging sad boy niya.

“Sa tuwing nakikita ko si Ady, para akong nakahiga sa sandamakmak na rose petals at ang puso ko ay umaapoy sa tuwa. She rarely gives me her attention, but every time she does, para akong nanalo sa lotto. My happiness whenever I see her is indefinite.”

To see someone this close who admires someone and acts so dreamy feels so weird and yucky. Yohan shouldn’t be letting me see himself this vulnerable.

“Why would you depend on your happiness to her? We, humans, are inconsistent and we have our own fair share of dark sides.” I tried to wake him up from his absurd dream.

I heard him scorned. “Ikaw nga, ang definition mo ng kaligayahan ay makitang nahihirapan ang iba at perang nakukuha mo sa hindi magandang paraan.”

“Superiority makes me feel I’m on cloud nine and money will always have value while humans, most of the time, when they get tired of you or you get tired of them, the value is lost,” I said as a matter-of-factly.

Yohan did not surrender and argued back. “Just like you said, humans are inconsistent and you’re a human too Ax. Kung sa ngayon mas mahalaga sa’yo ang pera, sinasabi ko sa’yo na darating ang araw kung kailan gigising ka na frustrated dahil sa dami ng pera mo, hindi mo mabibili ang atensyon ng taong gusto mo.”

Biglang tumaas ang balahibo ko sa sinabi niya. I swear it will never happen to me! I am born to live my life and not to like someone romantically.

Siniko ko ang braso niya na ikina-aray niya. “Ang sadista mo talaga!” bulyaw niya habang hinahaplos ang braso. Para namang hindi rin siya sadista!

Matapos ko siyang sikuhin ay sinipa ko rin ang paa niya kaya napatayo siya at hinarap ako. Isang malaking buntong hininga ang ginawa niya bago nagsalita.

“Steal Mau’s attention from Ady, Ax. Make him work for you para mas lalo siyang maging busy at hindi na siya magkaroon ng oras para kay Ady. Habang ako, ako ang pupuna sa pagkukulang ni Mau,” pagsasalaysay niya, this time ay direct to the point na.

So this is what he meant when he said he needed my help.

Yohan’s voice was full of passion and hope. He seriously went this far, begging me to help him, despite our ill-fated relationship. He looked so weak and pitiful which made me chuckle.

If this is how love makes a person, I don’t want it.