Her Sanctuary

Tears built up inside her pounding skull.

She didn't know if she could hide
From this doubt-filled life.

She was terrified.

For years she masked her doubts with words- words that meant nothing but a release.

The same words that poured from her struggling heart to escape her false truths.

Raced across her lips in order to depart from her lonesome mind.

Death hung over her brow as it whispered a blackened chill.

It struck in the night to lure her from her post.

She took the first step towards the never-ending depth.

But a fierce whisper enveloped her hallow ears.

She spun in the air hovering over her despair,
but it all disappeared into a thick puddle as her eyes fell upon His.

She descended into the black liquid until just her eyes were above the thick surface.

If anything could drag her out of this murky mud it'd be Him.

He became her sanctuary.
He was her refuge.

His scarred hands reached in and enwrapped her soul in His.

She was no longer drowning in her delusion.

He was everything that was ever needed.

The tiresome lies she told herself, that weighed on her shoulders as the pendulum swung; fell to the blood-stained floor in redemption.

Freedom from the burden was as light as the summer's atmosphere.

Freedom from the devastation was as bright as the brightest star in the midnight sky.

Because He was and is freedom; He is light.

Leona

My finger hovered over the save button on the top right corner of my tablet as I sat in English class. I could feel Greyson's eyes on me, watching me. Every once in a while, I'd sneak a glance through the locks of my hair to see if he was still looking at me, and sure enough, he was. After what seemed like thirty minutes, I craned my neck to the side with my eyebrow raised in question. He immediately looked forward and up to the ceiling as if he wasn't just memorizing my thick-rimmed glasses and freckled cheeks.

Ms. Farr continued on with her lesson plan on various poets and how we supposed to create a poetry book consisting of our favorite works found along with a poem of our own. Most would copy and paste random poetry found off the internet, but I submitted my book to Ms. Farr two weeks ago, with every poem in my project typed out of memory. It took me under an hour where most kids would take a month to complete.

I felt the same shiver consume my body, indicating that the handsome boy to my left was looking my way yet again. I turned my body towards him, and when I did I noticed a neatly put together binder on his desk with the title 'Poetry Book'. He finished it ahead of time also. I hated it, but a fluttering feeling consumed my abdomen.

I yearned to see the last poem in that book of his on the desk. It would have been the poem that he, himself wrote. My imagination took over as words flowed through my mind; all of the possibilities of which it could have been about.

As if the brown-eyed golden boy read my deepest thoughts, I witnessed as he slid the book off of his desk and offered it to me. After I didn't reach out, he shook it ever so slightly with a grin.

"I know you want to read it, so go ahead." He whispered in a low, husky voice, sweet as honey that I had ever tasted. I shook the comparison from my mind that I had made before mirrored Grey's arms and wrapped my hand along the edge of his binder.

"Okay, so I have a few books of poetry up here, so you all can get started on your projects." Ms. Farr ended her lesson just before the rush of hormonal teenagers passed by our seats to grab said poetry books.

Once everyone was settled down and all was quiet once again, I opened Grey's book to see a lot of poets that I recognized. I sifted through them, some with happy tones, others with more deep and dark tones. I finally landed on the page that inhabited his own work.

Greyson was watching me, and I didn't need to look over at him to know what his expression consisted of. He was waiting for me to read his poem with curiosity. He wondered what I would think of it. I tried to ignore the nervousness in the pit of my stomach that was there just by him being in the same room as me. Before I could read his words, the bell rung for the end of class.

"Can I take this with me?" I asked Greyson after we both stood up and started to walk towards the door to leave. I turned to hear his answer but came face to chest with him. His strong pectoral muscles heaving in and out as I followed the pattern of his plaid shirt up to meet his gold speckled eyes.

Before he could finally answer me, some kid ripped Greyson's book out of my hands and ran off with it. Greyson immediately ran off after the stupid kid just like his first day here.

This time he didn't catch the guy, and we had no clue where his poetry book was.

I had caught up with Greyson somewhere in D hall by the auditorium where he was currently pacing and running his hands through his hair. It was something he did when he was frustrated or deep in thought.

I approached him with caution because if looks could talk, he would be cursing up a storm right about now.

"I'm really sorry, Grey," I said before realizing that Valeera called him that. "Son..." I added. His angry expression fell and was replaced by a softer one as soon as he saw that it was me.

"It's okay, it's not your fault." He said as he approached me with heavy feet. Even though he didn't look angry, I could tell that he wasn't over what had happened.

"Well, it was my fault, I should have held it closer or something. Maybe I shouldn't have had it to begin with. People are always messing with me..." I ended my sentence quieter than it had begun, but Greyson seemed to be unphased by my slip.

"No, it wasn't, so stop blaming yourself."

"But-" Anger flashed into his stormy eyes at my inability to control how many times I needed to apologize.

"Leona! How the hell does it help to keep apologizing? What's done is done. Just stop!" His voice boomed throughout the emptied hallway because kids had gone to class long ago. My whole body tensed under his anger. The air caught in my throat signaling I was about to have a full-fledged panic attack in the middle of school for the fourth time this year.

"Sh- Leona? I'm so sorry." Greyson's eyes poured out worry over me as I collapsed onto the hallway floor. In a moment's notice, he was by my side, but through my hyperventilating, I shoved him away.

"F- Farr. Ms." I attempted to ask for Ms. Farr, but he knew what I had said and called out for help. I gasped for air as we awaited help to arrive, but darkness flooded the halls as I passed out.

Grey

I gave Leona another panic attack.

I needed to find that poetry book and I needed to find it fast before too many people read it.

I wrote it for Julie and for her, but kids at this school wouldn't understand. They were going to try to destroy me before I had a chance to try out for basketball and hopefully be team captain. I wouldn't let them.

I gave up on trying to find the loser who stole my book fifteen minutes ago, but I was still pissed off. Leona had repeatedly apologized to me, but I had told her that it wasn't her fault. After I had snapped, she had a panic attack, because of me, again. I always messed everything up.

"Maybe he went home? I don't know. What was in there that was so bad that no one can see it?" Erica, the desperate, asked me. I was in a pissy mood, so everyone was getting nicknames.

"Just stuff. I wrote about my past and a girl I'm talking to." I shrugged my shoulders in response to her stupid question. There was a hint of a sad scowl before being replaced by her usual fake cheery expression.

The other girl nudged her under the table, and I was guessing it was supposed to be discreet, but everyone noticed it at the table. Jay rolled his eyes before speaking. He had to yell because the lunchroom randomly became louder than usual.

"Well, whatever it is, maybe you should get ahead of it. Like, do some PR crap or somethin'!"

He had a good point.

"Yeah, but if they actually don't release it, then he'd be declaring his love for this weirdo to the whole school for no reason." The minion girl that sat next to Erica said. My fists clenched out of anger.

"Well, it's a better story than him giving that freak her fiftieth freak out." Erica spat out through her flirty lashes. Not sure why she thought that calling Leona a freak was flirting, but it pissed me off even more.

"I'm tired of you-" I was about to let her have it when a loud voice shouted over mine.

"Don't you dare, talk about Leona that way. She has more dignity, more poise, more maturity, and more decency in her little toe than you do in your whole slutty body!" Gracie stomped over to our table pointing a finger at Erica's tear filled face. "If you think that you can talk about another human that way when they have done nothing to you, then you are an awful person that only needs to make herself feel better after a night of sexting guys that don't like you and whining to your parents about a purse you can't get. You're pathetic and you don't even deserve to sit in her presence." Gracie turned to the rest of us with shaking hands. We all sat in disbelief as her rant continued.

"If you're going to let them sit here, then we aren't coming back. We will find somewhere else to sit. I don't need people like her trying to ruin my day." Her tight black girls danced on her black skin as she spun on her heel and stomped off from where she came.

"Uh, you're not-" Erica started, but Jay cut her off.

"No, she's right. We don't want you here. Don't sit at our table again." We all sat in silence as Erica and her minion stood up with a huff and practically ran away from our table. Cheers erupted in the lunchroom after seeing the showdown of the year.

While everyone was congratulating Jay, I headed in the direction that Gracie had disappeared to, because she most likely was going to see Leona. I caught up with her right after she turned towards the main offices.

"Is Leona still here?" She asked the front desk lady, but I couldn't hear the lady's answer. She stood up from the office chair and knocked on the door behind her. It was the same door that I had seen Mr. Han, the guidance counselor come out of.

He appeared from the opening from the door and the whispered a few things before Gracie turned away to take a seat in one of the chairs. I needed to see if Leona was okay.

Once I reached Gracie, I sat down next to her and put my elbows on my knees.

"Is she okay?" I asked Leona's only friend beside me. She hesitated before answering.

"She has a lot going on, and I heard that you yelled at her. That's a trigger for her..." The worry laced in her voice was unmistakable.

"What did Mr. Han say when you knocked on the door?"

"He said that she-" Before Gracie could finish, the door to Mr. Han's office opened and a very timid Leona stepped out. Her already pink cheeks were even more flush, but her eyes were their bright blue again.

My breathing quickened as I took in her face. The way her eyes darted between us as if she were mapping out our whole conversation and was calculating what she was going to do. I could hear every word her raging eyes said to me as they locked onto mine. I stood up quickly and shoved my hands in my pocket.

"Leona, I'm so-" She put her hand up to stop me.

"You yelled at me for something I cannot control." She glanced over to Mr. Han and then back to me. "With my anxiety, that causes me to apologize multiple times. I don't like thinking that you're mad at me, so I obsess until I know you're not angry with me." I knew that already, but in my anger, I couldn't think rationally. I just snapped at her without a second thought.

"I'm sorry. And I'm sorry I yelled. You didn't deserve that." She nodded at the floor. Before I could talk myself out of it, I closed the gap between us and took her small frame into my arms.

The moment her heat intertwined with mine, static spread over the skin of my arms, causing goosebumps. Holding her was like Heaven, and I never wanted to let her go. I could feel her heartbeat racing as her body relaxed into mine before wrapping her arms around my waist, clasping her hands. She let out a puff of air that she had been holding and all I could think about was this was what I wanted.

I wanted Leona. I needed to kiss her.

Guilt washed over me as the thought crossed my mind. I had written poetry and thought about wanting to kiss her, all while talking to Valeera.

Reluctantly, I released the beautiful, fragile Leona from my hold and stepped back away from the watching eyes of the whole office, Mr. Han, Gracie, and Leona.

"I'm sorry," I said as I turned away from her. This time, I was the one running away.