Leona

I clicked the save button on my laptop that was situated on top of my overly girly comforter and pushed it away from me in pitiful disgust. The bridge of my nose ached from staring at a screen for too long, forcing me to squeeze the skin with my index finger and thumb to find some release.

I didn't know why I tortured myself by reliving certain areas of my life. People have told me it's great to write it all out as a way to release inner crap. Yeah, my inner demons, my inner worst nightmares that came to life on that paper. They saw my words as beautiful, where I saw them as disconcerting- perturbing even.

I let out a shaky breath before jumping out of bed.

My dark-rimmed plastic frames slid down my nose as I looked down towards the floor to navigate my way around books, clothes, and wires to set my laptop on my desk where it belonged.

Hopefully today would be the day that I put away all my worries and actually make a friend at my new-ish school.

A single laugh escaped my lips as I rubbed my right brow with my thumb as I looked around my room that mirrored my life. Maybe today I would just smile at someone instead of staring at the floor. I nodded in agreeance with my plan.

I began my daily routine of washing my face, draping a basic hoodie over my T-shirt, and texting my best friend Greyson. I was getting such a late start this morning because of the bloody poem that would have been left forsaken in my mind if I hadn't typed it out.

Writing had always been my outlet for as long as I could remember. I didn't do sports and I definitely didn't shop with friends.

Writing was my passion.

On my way out of my room, I grabbed my phone and earbuds and looked through my selection of songs.

I decided to go with 'Work this body' by Walk the moon. A quirky rhythm guitar blasted through the plastic ear pieces as I hummed to the melody. I skipped a few steps at a time using the railing for support on my way down my creaky old stairs.

I quietly tiptoed into my kitchen to see my Aunt Eileen asleep on the couch with a lit cigarette in her hand. I quickly grabbed it and put it out in her ashtray on the pill and beer bottle cluttered coffee table.

Let's just burn the house down, I thought.

I turned to rummage through my fridge all while moving to the beat of the song currently filling the silence in my makeshift bubble.

I had been inside my own bubble ever since the incident. I switched from a seemingly perfect life to one that had shattered around me.

I had my bubble, and I was staying inside of it.

"Show me what you got, yeah!

Work this body on the floor, yeah.

Who do you think you are? Yeah..." I muttered under my breath with the music flowing through my earbuds.

In one hand I held a water bottle and the other my phone buzzed indicating that I had a notification.

I glanced down to see that it was Greyson.

Grey: Good morning, Val! ;)

I smiled into my phone and made my way up to my room to finish getting ready for school.

Five more months and I'll be free to get away from this place.

I typed back without looking at the stairs.

Me: Hey yourself :)

Grey: I hope you have a beautiful day today.

Me: It's already looking up, thank you for that.

Grey: Anytime, love. I have to get going. Let me know how your exam goes. You're going to kill it, I know it.

I typed goodbye to Grey and made my way to school, the place was what everyone knew it to be: Something people lie to themselves about. No, it wasn't the end of the world if Megan, the varsity cheerleader didn't like you. If you couldn't make it to prom. Who cared?

When you went off to interview for your job in the future, Mr. or Mrs. Boss-person wasn't going to ask if you got to grind on Randy until 10 O'clock once upon a Saturday. Gym class was still a nightmare and lunchtime was just the same.

I came face to face with my English teacher's door and reached out for the handle out of habit. I was about to open the door to tell her good morning.

"Have you written anything lately?" Ms. Farr asked me with an interested tone.

"Yeah, I wrote a poem last night," I mentioned nonchalantly. She nodded and set her coffee down.

"Is it one that I could read?" She smiled, but she knew it wasn't one that I was going to share.

"I can show you something else. This is a poem I wrote on Saturday," I said before glancing down at the red notebook that I actually allowed other people to see. She held out her hand to receive it with a bright smile upon her lips.

I took note of the way her golden hair draped across her shoulders. She really was beautiful. I wondered how she was single.

"Oh, sweetheart. This is wonderful! Would you mind if I put this on the board?" I knew she had good intentions, but I didn't want my words out in the open for everyone to read. What a disaster.

"Maybe another time?" I offered, shyly. She nodded and pressed her lips into a straight and firm line before clasping her hands together in her lap behind her oak colored desk. Her brows furrowed as she thought for a moment before she leaned forward.

I knew the look. The look that said 'I want to fix you.'

"You know you could always talk to me. I care about you, Leona-"

"Leona? Are you okay, honey?" A gentle voice brought me back from my thoughts. I squeezed my eyes shut, not allowing the single tear to fall that threatened to escape my fortified lid. I turned around to see our concerned sub, Miss Daly.

I nodded quickly and slipped past her, not wanting her to ask questions she didn't want to know the answers to.

I walked the empty halls before the end of lunch bell rang, hoping to catch Mr. Han, the school counselor before I had to head to English class. I needed his calming words before I endured another day without Ms. Farr. I rounded the corner and stepped through the metal archway that lead the way to the main office. I reached the desk and stopped.

When the front office ladies noticed me standing there, they smiled warmly.

"Leona! Hi, honey. You here for Mr. Han?" Mrs. Bartello asked behind her hot red readers. I nodded so she stood up and knocked on his door. He peeked his head out and waved for me to come in.

"Leo, how are you doing?" Mr. Han asked calmly as if not wanting to spook me. I didn't blame him. Sometimes I opened up to him with no problem. Other times, I was a closed book, not wanting to unleash my issues onto someone else. I breathed through my swelling anxiety before speaking.

"Alright, how is everyone else doing?"

Mr. Han's eyes crinkled in a sweet gesture before leaning forward onto his desk with his chin resting on his knuckles. I enjoyed watching how he reacted to my answers. His eyes were always so understanding and not full of pity like the other therapists I had seen in the past.

"We are alright, considering... Have you written anything new lately?" His gentle voice filled the air between us. I nodded and brought out my tablet and handed it over to him.

After a few minutes, he set the tablet down and looked at me with concern.

"This one wasn't fueled by anger," He stated without hesitation, "Do you know what emotion it was?"

"Confusion... worry..." My voice trailed off in a comfortable silence between us. He knew of the many reasons why I would be confused or worried.

We were all worried.

"This truly is beautiful, Leo... 'Suffocating my being until I can no longer breathe in your toxic air.'... This line in particular. The way you keep your reader engaged is phenomenal."

"Thank you," I said as I glanced down at my ratty converse shoes, "I guess I have a lot on my mind."

Another minute of silence passed between us. The air was thick of unsaid useless comforting words. My tablet slid across his desk towards me and I could hear every grain of dust under its smooth surface.

Our eyes connected and I could see words trapped behind his brown eyes. He wanted to tell me something and he was having a battle in his mind.

"The police were here earlier," He finally said in a rush. His shoulders relaxed, apparently relieved by his statement. I blinked a few times as I processed this information.

Were they asking questions? Did they suspect anyone here had anything to do with it? Where was she?

I decided not to bombard him with the storm of questions swarming my rapidly beating heart. In a cool manner, I stretched my hands out onto my knees and sucked in a breath.

"Do they know where she is?" I asked softly. I didn't know if I wanted to know what he had to respond with, but at the same time, I needed to know.

Again, silence filled his rectangular room. I could have heard the moth's wings fluttering in the window behind my counselor if the blood wasn't rushing in my ears. The room grew louder with every second.

Mr. Han's eye twitched and I was able to focus my ears on his mouth, causing the crashing waves of anxiety to cease. It was dead silent for two aching heartbeats as I waited for his response.

"She was declared missing this morning, Leona."