"Perrie, stop it!" "Let her up!" "She's been in there for more than two minutes. She's not gonna take it anymore." "Stop this bullshit. It's not funny anymore." "You think so?"

I passively listened to all the conversations. The voices penetrated my brain, but the sentences were immediately faded away. No eyesight. No breath. Almost no heartbeat. My head had slipped further into my neck. My arms were hanging in the water, only moved by the waves of the sea. No pulse any more. Nothing. Just empty. I felt the intervals between my heart rates drop dramatically, beat by beat. 2 seconds, 3 seconds, 4 seconds... 0 distance between the low beats. There was a sudden jolt. Then nothing. The last thing I felt was the hand coming off my head and hitting the bottom of the sea with a dull thud.

-Perries perspective-

I let go of my hand in favour of the boys, even though I was still convinced that Eleanor could have easily lasted another ten seconds. After all, she had been a convinced diver in the past. In the past, when she hadn't acted so strangely, hadn't been hanging out with Gemma, and wasn't interested in skating. Nor was she as good at skating as she had been. Enough of thinking about it. I would bring her back to those times, make her my best friend again. Gemma wasn't good for her.Hadn't she realized that yet? Apparently not, but I had to talk to her about it again.

"Happy?", I asked, looking around, but nobody seemed to be happy. On the contrary. They all had their eyes wide open. And shortly afterwards they all panicked. "What's wrong?!", I wanted to know. "You killed her!" Louis yelled at me, "You fucking killed Eleanor!" I looked confused and realized she was still underwater. My pulse doubled in that second and my hands began to sweat. No... That couldn't be true. I wouldn't have killed her, would I? I'm sure she'd be down there laughing her ass off. Was it possible to laugh under water? And hear what was going on above sea level?

I just stood there as if rooted to the ground and watched the events, slowly fear built up inside me too. I turned chalk-white and stopped breathing for a few seconds and closed my eyes. Crossed my fingers. I silently prayed that Eleanor would be all right. Hope always dies last.

"No!", it escaped me loudly, my whole lung screaming as I opened my eyes again. The most horrible thing I had ever experienced happened before my eyes - Louis carrying his girlfriend on his hands. Lifeless. Completely lifeless. No lifting and lowering of the stomach. No exhalation. No breathing in. No movement. Arms hanging limp. I couldn't see it and turned around stubbornly. Finally I began to sob a little, then whimper and finally I broke down. I could already imagine the headlines really well. But not only that. The whole world would turn against me. It was only an accident! And maybe... Maybe she was still alive! My heart wanted to join the others as soon as possible and to fight for Eleanor's life. But I knew that they would never accept me again. A death, a busted wedding. What a mess.

Slowly I waded through the sea until I was barely three metres from the sandy beach. The water was very shallow here, as a matter of fact. With glittery eyes I watched as all five of them bent over the body of Eleanor, which they had laid on the shore, looking at me again and again as if they wished they had never met me. Luckily, at noon, there were no people except us here at the bay. And slowly I began to wonder if I was even worth living for. I had killed Eleanor, and now things with Zayn would fall apart too. My life was over. My soul cried out for peace. I reproached myself a thousand times. If Eleanor really had drowned now because of me, I would lock myself up for the rest of my life, blaming myself all over. Everything blurred before my eyes and a tiny tear rolled down my cheek before it dripped into the sea and mixed with the salt water. And only now did I really realize what had just happened. Then one tear followed another.

Back again to Eleanor's (Grace's) perspective in the battle between life and death...

I felt the regular pressing on my chest. But also nothing more. And also nothing less. It was a miracle to feel anything now. If I had had one last breath to end my life in one sentence, I would have said: "Let me die, I'm not Eleanor, I'm just a girl who was asked for help by Gemma". Just to assure that my gravestone would not have the name Eleanor Calder and her date of birth on it. Gravestone...

Suddenly I felt a jolt once again. The same as when my heart had given its last beat. But it felt differently. My brain gradually awoke from its rigidity and my heart started to beat regularly again. Well, at first with long and varied intervals, but then it settled down again. Finally I had a coughing attack and lost a lot of water. After a few seconds I fell asleep again. Or did I died completely after that short moment in which I had hoped to be alive again. Even though I did not really remember the reason why I had almost gone from this earth.

"'She's breathing'", I heard it being said a few seconds beside me. At first I didn't know who was meant by >she<! but as I slowly opened my eyes and saw five heads above me, it became clear to me. I was the girl breathing again. But what had happened. Before I could say anything, I heard Louis' relieved cry "Eleanor!" I looked at him unconsciously. It felt as if I had awakened from years of sleep. Couldn't move, couldn't speak. And it felt like any moment I might slip back into that state.

Then I noticed that Perrie was missing. I gathered all my strength and for a short while, I straightened my neck, which hurt quite a bit. And there she was - Perrie standing alone in the middle of the sea. But why? Why was she not with me?
"She killed you," Zayn said, as if he could read minds, looking at his fiancée uncomprehendingly and sadly. But I am alive... At that moment I didn't understand anything. How could Perrie have killed me if I was alive? "She dipped your head into the water for almost three minutes," Liam explained to me. He stared at Perrie just like everyone did. Was she more important than me right now? And why did everyone look at her like that... Then everything flashed back into my mind.

Suddenly I sat up. I remembered every single detail. I shivered from those terrible memories. "Wait ... it was her?!", I asked in a hoarse, unbelieving voice. I got no answer. Was Perrie trying to get me out of the way? Was I a problem for her? Was it because of Gemma?

For a long time, I could no longer keep the great secret of my identity. Otherwise, I might really get seriously hurt. Maybe I should have stopped right on the first day? Or should I not have accepted this opportunity in general? My thoughts diverged widely, but then I came to a decision: I had to tell them. As soon as possible. Things would only get worse if I kept hiding it.