The sound only escaped me for a few moments before a hand was clamped over my mouth. It was a remarkably solid hand, too, which was crazy enough in itself. Body parts belonging to the vision of my dead sister were surely not supposed to feel so real, and yet here it was anyway. It wasn’t the first time something had fallen outside the lines of sanity in this room.

                  “Shut up!” Reese hissed. “You’re going to wake the whole house. Do you really want to put Mum on alert after you’ve spent the whole night out with a boy?”

                  I realised then she was eerily close: my face was level with her own, which seemed to shine with the same sort of pale glow I’d noticed those weeks ago. All of a sudden, a jolt of alarm went through me, and I jumped back from her hand.

                  I felt like I was supposed to say something – anything. Not least because this was happening again, after I’d spent three whole weeks convincing myself that it had all been part of an alcohol-induced dream. Taking a few shaky steps backward, I kept my gaze fixated on Reese, not daring to let it falter for one minute. Let out of my vision, who knew what would happen?

                  Trembling steps led me backward until I felt my legs hit the edge of my bed. Not hesitating to lower myself onto it, I tried to control my breathing as the feeling of shaky disbelief overcame my entire body.

                  “I think I’m going to pass out,” I managed to breathe.

                  “No, you’re not.” Reese’s voice, calm and level across the room, was the polar opposite of my own. “You’re fine.”

                  It was the same thing she’d said to me countless times, all dotted at various points through the years. Reese was the kind of person who believed in picking yourself up and getting on with it; she had neither the time nor patience for slackers. She was the one who’d drag herself into school with a raging cold and spread it around to half her friends, then complain a week later when they were bed-bound. Being her twin meant I was obligated to do the same; whether it be a cold, cramps or a case of flu, she’d pull me out of bed and tell me not to be such a wuss. It was kind of ironic, really, that it had been her heart that had given up so easily.

                  “I thought, last time… I thought I was dreaming,” I said. “If I wasn’t, then what…”

                  “Listen to me, Callie.”

                  Her voice was so commanding, so full of authority, that I had no choice but to look up to where it had come from. I wondered then how she did it: how, even in death, she managed to look so at ease. In the middle of the dimly lit bedroom, she stood with her arms folded, fiery hair framing a face that somehow didn’t look out of place. She stepped forward, ending up right in front of me.

                  “Calm down,” she told me, in a low voice. “Don’t overcomplicate things. This is as real as you think it is.”

                  I couldn’t help but let the incredulous look slip onto my face. “That doesn’t help me.”

                  “I never said it would help.” Reese straightened up. “I didn’t come all the way here to act like a therapist. You should get enough of that at school. All I came for was a chat with my twin sister. Is that such a crime?”

                  I blinked up at her, finding my eyes transfixed by her mere appearance in front of me, our eyes locking onto each other’s in the most impossible way. I had spent so many hours revisiting her image from those weeks ago, reinstating the belief that it had all been a dream, and yet to have it laid out plainly in front of me again was somehow more startling than before.

                  “You’re really here?” I managed to ask. “It’s really you?”

                  “Callie.” The smile on Reese’s face was almost eerie; whatever this was, whatever imitation it turned out to be, they’d nailed my twin sister with an unnerving likeness. “Do you really think this could be anybody other than me?”

                  I knew it was insane, and yet spoken in my sister’s level tone, the answer seemed obvious. “No,” I breathed.

                  At this, she smiled, before throwing a glance over her shoulder in the direction of the door. “With any luck, I might’ve just stopped you screaming soon enough to get away with it. God, can you seriously imagine Mum’s face if she’d have walked right in here?”

                  I noticed then that the worst of my shaking had stopped, and I was actually able to form a mildly coherent response. “It probably would’ve looked something like my face when I did the same thing.”

                  Maybe it was just me, but Reese seemed to stop for a second, like I hadn’t answered in the way she was expecting. Still, it only lasted for a heartbeat; the corner of her lip then curled upward into an amused smile. “Well,” she began, “I suppose I can’t exactly blame you. It’s not everyday your dead sister strolls back into your bedroom, is it?”

                  “No, it’s not.” I paused. “And thank God, too – I think I’d keel over from the stress if you took to doing this everyday.”

                  “Noted. I’ll try to keep my visits sparing enough to keep your heart in check.”

                  “Wouldn’t want mine to go down the same route as yours, after all.”

                  Reese raised her eyebrows – which, even in death, were still perfectly arched. She’d had kind of an obsession with them, spending hours at her mirror plucking them into submission. And it had never ended there: she’d always started on me, too, like she was only half the job. In the past two months, my eyebrows hadn’t exactly been my top priority, and I could almost see her wincing at their state.  “Seriously?” she said. “You’re already making digs about my condition? I died, and I still can’t get any sympathy from you.”

                  As soon as the words were out of her mouth, I almost couldn’t believe them. “What’s that I hear?” I asked. “Is that Reese Washington asking for sympathy? I never thought I’d see the day.”

                  “I’m sure there were a lot of things you never thought you’d see,” she said, “but look where we are now.”

                  “Yeah.” All of a sudden, the words dried up in my throat, almost like the obvious had finally sunk in. For a few seconds there, I’d almost let myself slip back into a frightening imitation of normality, but I knew everything about this was far from it. “Reese?”

                  She looked down at me, before lowering herself onto the bed beside me, so our faces were level once more. “Yeah?”

                  For a moment, I was silent. There seemed to be so many things built up in my head, a hundred possible questions I could’ve asked, and I was faced with the mammoth task of sifting through them all. Eventually, though, I settled for one. “Why did you come back?”

                  Her answer didn’t come straight away, and before she opened her mouth, I found myself continuing. “I mean, not everybody does, right? But something happened… why are you sat here right now, talking to me?”

                  I could’ve sworn I saw something flicker across her green eyes, but it vanished as fast as it had appeared. “I missed my sister,” she said simply, like that was all there was to it. “And of course I needed to check up on how things were going with the list. Am I right in thinking you got another thing ticked off tonight?”

                  Deciding against trying to pry further, I nodded. “Yeah. Number six.”

                  “Stayed out all night.” Reese grinned. “I’m proud of you, Callie. Never thought I’d see the day when you were the one sneaking out of the window.”

                  “Yeah, well.” I shook my head, sparing a glance for my arms, which were still covered all over in the faint remnants of scratches. “You made the drop from the porch look a lot easier than it actually is. I think I hit the rose bush on the way down.”

                  She pulled a face. “Ouch. Yeah. You want to avoid that one. It’s brutal.”

                  “I’ll keep that in mind next time.”

                  She realised it before I did; when the words were out of my mouth, her expression changed, and mine kicked in a beat later. “Next time?” she echoed amusedly. “You mean you’re planning on doing it again?”

                  I hadn’t exactly put much thought into it; it had just been something that had slipped out. And yet when I did think about it, there was no reason against spending another few hours in the company of Mitchell, especially at the same café. I’d had a good night, even with the lack of sleep, but I had a feeling explaining so to my sister wasn’t going to be quite as simple.

                  “Well…”

                  “You and Mitchell, eh?” she said, raising her eyebrows and shooting me a knowing look. “That was a couple I didn’t see coming.”

                  “We’re not a couple,” I corrected her, a little too quickly.

                  “A soon-to-be couple?”

                  “No.”

                  “Are you sure?”

                  “Yes,” I said, wondering why I hadn’t expected this sooner. “We’re just friends.”

                  “I might be dead, Callie, but I’m still your twin. Are you forgetting I can read you like a book?” When I dared to meet Reese’s gaze, which I’d taken to avoiding, her eyes were glinting mischievously.

                  “You can carry on reading me,” I said. “There’s nothing else to find out.”

                  “We’ll see about that.” Reese’s tone was smug, like she’d already made up her mind, and nobody could change it. I knew from experience that I’d be stupid to try. “A couple of visits’ time, and I’ll be struggling to find a moment you’re alone to come see you.”

                  “Shut up.”

                  “Bet you two enjoyed your cosy little night together.” She was smirking now, an expression which was kind of difficult to look at. “What was he doing, whispering ideas for the school newspaper in your ear? All the articles you’re going to write about each other… maybe you’ll even start up a Mr & Mrs column.”

                  She was only joking, of course, but I found myself wincing regardless. “I’m not on newspaper.”

                  Her smile vanished instantly. “What?”

                  Here it was again. How many times was I going to be forced to endure the same thing? Never in a million years would I have expected to have to explain myself to Reese, but things seemed to have developed a recent tendency to change unexpectedly. “I’m not on newspaper. I quit.”

                  “Oh, no, Callie.” I wasn’t sure how I thought her expression would change, but it managed to be completely different anyway. “Don’t tell me you did that. Why?”

                  I shrugged. It was the same thing over and over: the difficulty of having to explain myself, when I could barely work out the reason in my own head. “I just wasn’t feeling it anymore.”

                  “You can’t quit completely,” she insisted. “You’ve got to go back. I thought you loved writing.”

                  My sister was looking right at me, her identical eyes boring into my own, in a way so intense I could hardly bear to face it. And yet I knew where it stemmed from: the fact she was telling me a truth that was hard to hear. I didn’t need another person telling me to return to newspaper. I’d already figured out it would be the sensible thing to do, but actually bringing myself to walk back into the office would take so much more than that. “It was just the right thing to do at the time.”

                  “It’s not now.”

                  Again, I shrugged. “I’m fine. I don’t miss it that much.”

                  I wasn’t sure why I was lying to Reese, of all people. Then again, it was probably something I had to admit to myself, before moving onto anybody else.

                  “You really should think about going back,” she told me.

                  “It’s fine, okay? I’ve already made up my mind. I’m not going back to newspaper, and nobody’s going to change that,” I shot back, a little sharper than necessary.

                  Anybody else would’ve retreated, slowly backing away from a subject that was clearly not to be broached. I’d gotten used to that privilege; nobody dared to press the grieving girl for anything past what she was offering. But this was a whole other ball game, and Reese always played by her own rules.

                  “Whatever you say, Callie.” She was clearly not convinced. “But if you think you’re fooling me when you say it doesn’t bother you, then you’re wrong.”

                  I ducked my head, avoiding eye contact, mostly because it was easier that way.

                  “Still, I’m surprised Mitchell let you get away with that. Is he not constantly harassing you about coming back?”

                  “Not really,” I said. “He’s getting used to it.”

                  “Well, he shouldn’t be. I swear, you’ve got me considering paying him a visit so I can knock some sense into the boy. But then again, I don’t think we ever had a conversation when I was alive, so it might be a bit strange to go strolling into his room now.”

                  “You can do that?” I asked. “See other people, I mean.”

                  “Haven’t got a clue.” Reese shrugged, as casually as ever, like she hadn’t really thought about it before. “I guess I haven’t tried. There was only one person I thought about coming back for, and that was obviously you. Why would I bother for anybody else but my twin?”

                  “I don’t know,” I said. “I’m sure Mum would appreciate a visit.”

                  “Oh, yeah, like that would go down well.” She had a point, but there was the faint ghost of a smile on Reese’s lips, like she was imagining how things would pan out. “She’d cart herself off to a mental facility before I could even finish a sentence.”

                  At this, I couldn’t help but chuckle, even if it felt kind of strange afterward. The thing was, I wasn’t sure if social norms even stood in the current situation; surely it wasn’t ordinary to crack jokes about something as serious as your sister’s death, but here we were regardless. I supposed when you were losing grip on your own sanity, not completely sure how much trust you could put in your own mind, it was better just to go along with things. “Yeah,” I said, my smile lingering. “That’s probably true. Maybe you should keep your distance.”

                  “Very smart idea.”

                  It was only then that the thought occurred to me – or maybe just that I gathered enough confidence to voice it aloud. “What’s it like?” I asked, my voice lowering, like I was sharing some kind of secret. “Dying, I mean. What happened to you?”

                  “Overrated,” Reese answered, without so much as blinking.

                  I raised an eyebrow. “That’s your opinion on death? That it’s overrated?”

                  “Oh, yeah. Take my word for it. I swear, people make so much fuss about the whole light at the end of the tunnel thing, and it’s not like that at all.”

                  “Really?”

                  “Not in the slightest. It’s just like falling asleep. Probably quicker, too.”

                  “Were you scared?”

                  She raised an eyebrow, like she couldn’t believe I was seriously asking the question. Then again, several months ago, I wouldn’t have either. Reese never hesitated to tell anybody she was fearless, and the whole time, I’d never had a reason to doubt her. “You’re really asking if I was scared? Me?”

                  “I’ll take that as a no, then.”

                  She paused then, like she was considering it. “Well, not really. I don’t think I really had time to be scared. It all happened so quickly, you know? One minute I was fine, and the next… well, my shitty heart decided it’d had enough. It wasn’t very exciting, really. If I got to pick, I would’ve wanted a more dramatic death. Heart defects are so anticlimactic.”

                  I couldn’t help myself; I had to laugh. If anybody would criticize their own death, especially for reasons that it was not spectacular enough, it would be my sister. “I can’t believe that’s what you think about it.”

                  “Well, they are! It could’ve at least been something more glamorous. I thought I deserved that much.”

                  Her words trailed off, and the few seconds of silence had the smile fading from my face. The words were sinking in deeper – maybe a little too deep. “You didn’t deserve it at all,” I said quietly.

                  It had a little too much meaning, slightly heavier than she probably wanted me to be heading, and Reese wasn’t having any of it. Shaking her head, her perfectly arched brows furrowed. “Of course I didn’t deserve it! Hey, I’d be more than a little mad if you were going around telling everybody you were glad I’d snuffed it. I’m just saying. If I had to go, I would’ve at least liked to do it in style.”

                  I found myself looking at her then – really looking. Right in front of me, her hair looked as wild as ever, falling down her back in unruly waves. Freckles were spotted across her pale skin, a few venturing past her cheeks and onto her forehead. Even the birthmark was there, peeking out from beneath the red curls. She was as real as any other time I had seen her. Any other time, months ago, when we’d been in this room together. And maybe that was why I couldn’t quite convince myself this was a figment of my imagination. It was just a little too much.

                  “You know, you’ve got school in about two hours,” she said, like I needed reminding, “and you haven’t been to sleep.”

                  I had to stop myself from groaning. Still, as much as I knew I was probably going to be a zombie for the rest of the day, the fact still stood that I’d had fun with Mitchell, and I wouldn’t have traded in the night even for a solid eight hours’ sleep. “And whose fault is that? If I fail the chemistry test I’ve got today, I’m blaming the whole thing on you.”

                  “Fair enough.” Reese held her hands up in surrender. “I can deal with that on my conscience.”

                  “You better.”

                  It was then that the smile faded from her face, and the silence between us seemed to grow heavier, like we both knew something was coming. “I’m proud of you, Cal.”

                  “For what?”

                  “For kicking arse with this list,” she said quietly. “I knew I could count on you.”

                  I managed to muster a small smile, though it felt slightly watery, and probably would’ve started quivering had I not been making an effort to hold it together. When it finally came out, my voice sounded embarrassingly feeble. “It’s the least I can do.”

                  The quiet that descended upon the room was like a blanket covering us both. For a moment, all I could do was stare at her, drinking in her details like they could disappear at any moment. I wanted nothing more than to burn the image of Reese’s glinting eyes into my head, full of all the life they’d been lacking when I had to see her in the hospital.

                  She leaned closer, the movement rustling the duvet slightly, until her arms encircled me. What I thought was going to be a hug turned out to be a little different: my forehead was being pulled toward her lips, and she pressed a soft kiss to the skin there. The touch was impossibly light, like a breath of air I couldn’t be quite sure of, not tangible enough to hold onto. “Just keep going,” she breathed, her voice close to my ear. “For me.”

                  My eyes fluttered closed as she held me, the contact so soft it felt like a breeze across my skin. The reply I came out with was barely louder than a murmur. “I will.”

                  “I love you, Cal,” she whispered.

                  It sounded too much like an ending, but I realised a beat too late; when I opened my eyes, she was gone. It was all gone. The reality hit me at once: I was alone in the room, perched on the edge of my bed, trembling slightly. And my sister was nowhere to be found.

                  Though it made little sense at all, I felt myself being tugged by fresh loss all over again.

------------------------

Hi, guys! You probably weren't expecting this. I kind of put the story on hold, and I was expecting it to be on hold for a lot longer, but something happened. I already had 2500 words of the chapter written, and tonight I decided to just put aside the writer's block and power on through. And I guess it worked!

This does mean, however, that I now have two ongoing stories at the same time. Factor in me now being in the run up to exams (and medical school exams are brutal), and also how I'm going to be working abroad for the entire summer, updates are not looking frequent. But as always, I'll see what I can do for you guys.

Thank you so much for bearing with me during my writer's block, which always sucks. And I really hope you enjoyed :)

Leigh