xxx.

chapter quarante.
chapter forty.

1996.

xxx.

Alex was starting to wonder when she'd become the designated pack mule as she hauled yet another one of the Wilderness' favorites on her back. It was moments like this when she liked to wonder what she would be doing if she hadn't been in a goddamn plane crash. Maybe they would've actually won Nationals, they would've been considered celebrities in Wiskayok, at least for a few years. She would've loved to believe that she would've pursued her feelings for Jackie but she knew better than that, hell, she wouldn't even be as close to Theo as she was now if it wasn't for being stranded.

Maybe she would've ended up as Taissa and Van's third. Lesbians had to stick together in a small town, after all. However, with another straining step, Alex knew that wouldn't have ended up well; Taissa was far too hardheaded and Van was too carefree for Alex to be able to handle either of them in a relationship, let alone both of them.

Alex nearly lost her footing, swearing under her breath as she caught herself, adjusting her grip on Theo as she carefully knelt down in the snow. It was getting stronger, moving faster and harsher, scratching at her exposed face as they barrelled through it. Alex could feel her fingers starting to go numb from the cold, but that was the last of her concerns; how was she even able to carry Theo like that? She could barely move around the cabin without trying to vomit her kidney out, let alone carry an entire other person on her back through a snowstorm.

When Alex raised her head, she looked at the tree ahead of them; even amidst the flurry of white flakes zooming past her eyes, she could see the symbol from the attic carved into the tree and let out an annoyed scoff.

The girl lifted her hand away from Theo's leg to tug her face mask up, then shifted her grip again so she could attempt to stand back up. Her leg trembled as soon as she put weight on it though, making her plant her knee back down with a deep breath.

She tucked her head down, gritting her teeth. She had to get up, they couldn't just sit there and freeze, but she could feel the burst of adrenaline she had starting to fade from her body. She had half a thought to try and wake Theo up, but just as she turned her head to try to look at her, she saw someone else standing beside them.

Not someone, something.

'Jackie' stood over the two girls, looking down at Alex with a blank look on her face. Alex flinched when she saw her, but quickly recovered, rolling her eyes, yet she held the scarf closer to her face.

" Not doing this shit again. " Alex muttered, sitting down on the icy ground to rethink her strategy here, with It breathing down her neck. She almost told It to give her some advice, or at least a little more energy, enough to get them back to the cabin, but she wouldn't stoop so low.

Alex pulled Theo off her back and in front of her, thinking that maybe bear-hugging her would be an easier way to carry her and brace them against the wind, but before she could do that, she heard another voice let out a shrill scream. Her head snapped in its direction, but she was unable to deduce who it was from the cry alone. Alex— or Theo —didn't really have time for a detour, but seeing as It was sitting there watching them, Alex figured she could use the Wilderness to her advantage for once.

The short haired girl propped Theo up against the tree, her eyes scanning her reddened face quickly. Alex tugged her beanie further down on her head, pulling the hood of her coat more securely, then glanced up at the symbol. She held her grievances and slowly rose to her feet, meeting the eyes of 'Jackie'. She felt crazy, even crazier that she actually thought to threaten It if it let Theo freeze, but just in general for even acting like this..thing was a person, but she didn't have a choice.

Jackie barely nodded, but it was enough for Alex to trust.

The wind was whipping so fiercely that it was hard to hear much else, and the further Alex walked away from Theo, the more she was convinced she was going to get lost in this snowstorm. However, she began to hear bickering, or something of the sort. Alex pushed long pine tree branches down out of her way as she finally saw the two of them.

Crystal and Misty stood near the cliff, dangerously close to the edge, and though Alex couldn't see the latter's face, Crystal's alone made her brows drop in question. When the Junior made eye contact with Alex, she took a half step back, a too far step, and her foot missed the ground.

            The poor girl let out another scream of terror as she fell off the cliff, her body crashing to the ground too quickly for Alex to be able to even move until she heard the loud noise of her colliding with the earth below. Alex felt her heart drop to the pit of her stomach, the sound of the snow seeming to silence as she heard her blood rushing in her ears, nausea climbing up her body.

            " Misty.." Alex lowly called, taking one unsteady step forward as she watched the blonde slowly move back from the cliff, her hands raising to her face. Still, Alex couldn't see her expression, and somehow that made the whole thing worse; she could've been perfectly happy with killing her best friend— her only friend — for all Alex knew, and she was the witness. " Misty. "

            " I didn't- I didn't mean to, I didn't, oh my god, Crystal, Crystal— " Something seemed to snap in Misty as she began to stumble back, shaking her head profusely, her voice thick with oncoming tears.

            " What do you mean you 'didn't mean to'? What the fuck were you doing, Misty? " Alex questioned, her voice growing louder and her face hardening as she quickened her steps until she was within arm's reach. The taller girl grabbed the blonde's shoulders, shaking her a little to get her to focus as she again accused, "  What did you do? "

            " M-me? I didn't do anything, she-she fell, Crystal fell, Alex— " Misty stammered, shaking her head, but Alex wasn't going to take that bullshit answer.

           " I don't believe you. I saw her face, she was scared shitless of you, so you better tell me what the hell you did or I'm pushing you off next. " Alex wasn't sure if she meant that threat or if it just slipped out of her mouth, but either way, if it made Misty admit what she did to make Crystal scared enough to walk off a cliff, then it didn't matter.

          However, instead of answering her, Misty screamed in frustration, grabbing Alex's hands over her shoulders, her teary eyes glaring up at her with exasperation, " You are such a bitch! I am always trying to be nice to you, and you're horrible to me! I tried to help you when Coach Martinez made you wash everyone's socks for skipping practice, or when you thought you had let Van die, I wanted to make sure you were okay! Or-or how I fed you Jackie, because I knew there was no way you were going to live without— "

         Alex's grip on Misty's shoulders grew tighter, the coldness surrounding them, burning their cheeks, shifted to her dark brown eyes. In an incredibly still voice, she asked, "..What did you say? "

         Misty seemed to realize she made a mistake, but in true Quigley fashion, she doubled down, her chest heaving with frantic breaths, " If you didn't eat her too, you would've died, you were so weak— "

         Alex felt her blood run cold and everything around her just stop. She remembered the bowl of soup from earlier that morning. Her hands gripped Misty so harshly now that they shook, and the only thing she could see was red. Alex released the blonde and before she even thought about it, she swung her fist right into her jaw.

         Misty stumbled back but remained on her feet, her glasses sitting on her face crookedly as she cupped her cheek, a look of disbelief on her face. Alex's knuckles stung almost instantly, making her clench her fist, but she didn't show any sign of remorse on her face as she stared straight through Misty.

         "..You kept a piece of her from that night? " Her words were strained, like they were painful to release past her lips, her chest constricted with her quick breaths.

" I-I knew..that you didn't eat with us. " And yet, Misty continued to speak, continued to try to defend herself, to make it out like somehow she was trying to protect Alex. What a lot of good that's done. " I kept it for when you were ready, when you needed it. "

Alex stared at her, blinking once as she let out a hollow, humorless laugh. She ran her hand across her forehead, swallowing harshly, waiting for Misty to meet her eyes again before she hit her again.

That time, Misty couldn't recover, and the short blonde fell on her back, cradling her face again, but Alex loomed over her for not a second before she sat over her. She pulled Misty's hand from her face so she could hit her again, unable to even think about what she was doing, absolutely and entirely consumed by her anger until she hit her a fourth time and felt the thin skin of her knuckles break with the contact.

Flexing her fingers to ease the pain, Alex pressed her knuckles against the snow beside Misty's head as she looked down at her with a haunted expression. Misty would be fine, physically, after she cleaned the bloody lip and the likely-black eye up, but Alex didn't want to stop. She wanted to keep hitting her until she was black and blue, until she looked dead, until she was dead.

Alex wanted to kill her, and she had never felt a statement to be truer.

The only thing she could think of was She fed you Jackie, you ate Jackie, you're a cannibal. It was a looping chaos that was bleeding in her ears just as much as Misty's lip bled for the monstrosities she admitted to.

But she couldn't kill her.

After a moment when Alex had managed to gather herself enough to not commit murder, she moved off of Misty and sat in the snow, her elbows crossed over her knees. She held her bruised hand, covered by her free one, as she stared out into the trees. She could hear Misty moving, so she must've been good enough to respond to her final question.

" What did you say to Crystal? " It almost didn't sound like Alex even asking it, making Misty look over at her as she got to her knees, holding a handful of snow against her reddened cheek; how did she know it was something she said?

"..I broke the plane's black box the night we crashed. " Misty finally confessed in a quiet voice, but Alex heard her.

It didn't take her long after that to rise to her feet, walking over to Misty, looking down at her, with every meaning of the phrase. Her split knuckles at her side, Alex didn't even bother to bend down, to get any closer to her level as she stood over the blonde. Misty's vision was a bit blurry from having her head knocked around a handful of times, and when she looked back up at Alex, she saw the semblance of something dark and sharp over her head, but couldn't quite make out if it was tree branches or something of the sort.

Alex could've said a thousand different things to her. She could threatened her, told her she was going to kill her, said any number of insults that would be reserved for her and her only, but instead she simply said,

" You should find Crystal before the others do. I'll save you a piece of her, for when you're ready. "

Misty, for once, had nothing to say to her. It was as if, for those few minutes, she had completely forgotten about what had caused this to happen, about Crystal. Still though, with the panic filing back into her, Misty turned to look at Alex as she walked back into the woods, and she called out, " Please don't tell the others.."

Alex didn't know if she meant Crystal or the black box, but it didn't matter. Misty didn't have the upper hand here, they both knew that. She walked back to where she had left Theo, finding her much easier than when she had left despite the snow still ferociously falling and collecting around them. It was no longer there, but Alex barely noticed as she crouched down in front of Theo to pick her back up.

As Alex was trying to figure out how to carry her again, Theo's eyes blearily opened, allowing her to see a very blurry image of Alex in front of her. She couldn't quite form words, but she wasn't sure what she would've said anyways as her vision seemed to falter, the sight of Alex flickering back and forth to a hooded figure, blood stains covering its clothes; antlers, sticking from its head.

" Alex.. " Theo quietly said, catching her attention as she just picked her up forwards, holding the shorter girl against her body, one of her hands pressing against her head. Theo's voice seemed to go unheard as she looked at the snow falling past her, feeling the fatigue crawling back to her, " Your..hands.. "

xxx.

" What the fuck, Lottie?! " Shauna suddenly shouted, shoving the girl away from her as she abruptly woke up, causing the rest of the cabin to look over at them.

" What happened? " Taissa questioned as she quickly came over, helping pull Lottie up to her feet as she looked between her and Shauna.

" She was whispering weird shit to my baby! " Shauna exclaimed, her voice cracking as her eyes darted between the two girls.

" I was just talking to him, it's good to talk to them in utero. " Lottie insisted, and Shauna scoffed.

" Yeah, so they learn to recognize their mother's voice. " Shauna looked to Taissa expectantly, who pursed her lips as she then glanced to Lottie.

With a sigh, Taissa said, " She wasn't hurting anyone, Shauna. "

Shauna stared at Taissa, disbelief in her eyes, " Wow.. okay, fuck this. "

Without another word, as they seemed to mean nothing to them if they were directed towards Lottie in a bad light, Shauna flung the cabin door open and left. Taissa turned to look at Lottie with a very mom-like frown of disapproval, even though she had taken her side in front of Shauna.

Sam watched Shauna leave from the window, her brows furrowed, making Tara turn to look at her. The blonde took a step closer to her, trying to see what was making her wear such a peculiar face before she asked, " What's wrong, Sam? "

" I don't know. Something's wrong. Or it's about to be. " Sam cryptically said, making Tara just stare at her for a while before her concentration was broken by Taissa leaving the cabin to follow after Shauna.

Something's wrong.

Tara turned away from Sam then, seeing Dana sitting by the fire, her legs pulled up to her chest as she watched the flames dancing around, her head leaned against the chair. She walked over to her, but she said nothing as she sat down in the chair behind Dana. She could feel eyes on the back of her head, and even though she knew it was Travis, she still looked over her shoulder at him.

As expected, he lowered his gaze away from her within a beat.

A short time passed after Shauna and Taissa left when the door flung open again, with a familiar sense of deja vu crossing them as Alex carried Theo into the cabin, Misty a step behind her. Alex didn't know how she'd caught up to them and she didn't care, all that mattered was getting into the cabin. However, unlike with Lottie, Alex couldn't even make it far enough to drop Theo in a chair before her body gave out and they both collapsed to the floor. She managed to get on her hands and knees over the smaller girl to relieve her of her weight as the others circled around them in shock.

          " What the fuck happened? " Natalie questioned as she helped pull Alex back, holding onto her shoulders to lean her back against one of the chairs. Her eyes darted between Alex, Theo, and Misty before she landed on the former again, " How the hell did you carry her? "

         " Pure..adrenaline..baby.. " Alex panted out, obviously not going to tell them what she really thought, but when she rolled her head to meet Lottie's eyes, she knew at least someone saw past that poor excuse of a joke.

         " I lost Crystal, I lost her, we-we were together and then we got separated in the storm— " Misty cried out, her words barely comprehensible as, even in her fatigued state, Alex rolled her eyes. The blonde gestured over to her, insisting, " It all happened so fast— and I ran into Alex and Theo— "

        " Did you run into a fucking tree on the way here, too? " Van questioned, brows furrowing as she looked at the bruise forming on Misty's cheek.

        Alex let out a soft, nearly silent snort before she mustered up the energy to lean forward, grabbing the side of Lottie's jacket as the Matthews girl tried to check on Theo without touching her. Alex tugged on the fabric again to get her attention, forcing Lottie to meet her eyes, ringed with exhaustion, " You have to fix her, Lottie. She can't keep doing this. "

        " What do you mean, fix her? " Mari asked, abruptly breaking away from the group discussing Crystal's disappearance to stick her nose where it didn't belong. However, her voice drew more of them to listen to the response, " What can't she 'keep doing'? "

         Alex continued to look right back at Lottie, and though neither of their faces changed even an inch, the former let go of her and sat back up. Her eyes trailed off to Theo, laying on the floor still, shivering with her eyes closed, seemingly unconscious yet again.

          " Theo sees shit. She sees death, she saw Laura Lee's, she saw Jackie, she still sees them, " Alex finally told them, unsure of if it was the right move or not even as the words were coming out of her mouth. Lottie didn't look back up from Theo to give her an indication of her thoughts, and she believed that to be a response enough.

         "..What? " Mari asked in disbelief, her face hardening within an instant as her first instinct was to get defensive, " Since when? "

         " Since the fucking start, Mari. Does it matter? " Alex snapped back, listening to the rest of them murmur amongst themselves, " It doesn't. What matters is that she wakes up. "

         A beat of silence passed between the group, and Van suddenly swore under her breath in realization, " Shit, Tai and Shauna are still out there. "

As if the cabin was suddenly lit aflame or they were told that there was a helicopter outside to rescue them, the girls practically raced out of the door and onto the porch. When she realized Lottie was going to follow them, Alex reached forward and grabbed her hand, pulling her back.

" Theo needs you now. " Alex stated in a firm voice, but, as Lottie looked between her and the girl laying on the floor, she pressed her lips to a thin line, and Alex knew she wasn't going to stay.

" We need Shauna and Tai. "

Alex dropped Lottie's hand after that, not going to beg her to help Theo. Instead, Tara lingered back, figuring that there wasn't much she'd be able to do anyways to help on the porch, and knelt down by Alex and Theo. The short haired girl pulled Theo into her lap, holding one of her arms across her chest, her hand against her pale forehead, her bangs stuck to her skin with the dampness of the snow.

Tara's lips parted to speak, but her head turned towards the door before she could. Even with it closed, she could hear the group outside, chanting, calling out. She wasn't sure if the rest of them inside could hear it, or if it was even really as she made out their voices as they went from screaming Taissa, Shauna, and Crystal's names to an almost haunting drone in unison.

" I feel our friends coming back to us. I feel our friends coming back to us. I feel our friends coming back to us. "

Alex could hear it, in fact, she nearly took her hands off of Theo to cover her ears from the sound, but she didn't have to. Theo began to shift around, her face contorting a little like she was having a nightmare, but before Alex could call her name to calm her down, her eyes shot open and she instantly sat up. Theo grabbed her hand, squeezing it with an unexpected amount of strength, or maybe Alex just felt that weak that even Theodora Prince could break her hand.

" Theo..? Are you okay? " She asked, trying to block out the sound of the rest of them outside as she moved to sit in front of the girl's line of sight, wincing. " Prince, come on, say something. "

The fire behind Alex grew brighter, framing her with its glowing flames, and with it, it casted a shadow. Theo saw it again, her vision blurring and coming back into focus as the shadow morphed behind Alex, creating a set of antlers against the brick wall of the fireplace.

Looking upon Theo's disheartened, disoriented face, Alex's brows lowered in concern, " Theo, what's— "

The door flung open with the strong force of the relentless wind, allowing the girls to come pouring back inside with a limping Shauna and a freezing Taissa amongst them. Snowflakes stuck to their hair and shoulders, their faces prickled with ice and colored by the cold as the others murmured quiet comments of relief.

Alex's eyes shifted up from Theo's face to the two that came through the door, and as her gaze rose, so did she. The short haired girl finally came to stand, her chest suddenly rising and falling quickly out of nowhere, watching Shauna stay keeled over in pain, letting out strained breaths.

" Is she in labor? " Akilah questioned, eyes wide as they all stared at the pregnant girl as she tried to regain her stamina.

There was a moment of quiet, a calm before the storm, the waves settled before a egregiously rocky boat would violently disturb them again.

And Alex knew. They all knew, deep in their guts, but Alex knew just by locking eyes with Shauna. She knew before she let out a guttural wail of agony, and she knew before the girl doubled over in pain, clutching at her stomach.

She knew, because just before the scream tore from Shauna's throat, Alex felt something crawl up hers. And she knew, whether consciously or not..

A birth was about to take place.

xxx.

3,959 words.

oh, do I hope y'all are ready to witness a birth, because one will certainly be happening next chapter

those that have stuck with Alex's sometimes comical dislike of Misty since the start..I bring the purpose to fruition (it was indeed not just bc I personally hate Misty). That was my favorite scene thus far to write, finally Alex got to lay her hands on someone, even if it meant potentially letting the Wilderness win for a moment of rage..

also damn Theo's life sucks ass. learns she's gay, has a crush on one girl, she ends up being crazy and talking to the trees, has a crush on another girl, she ends up maybe crazier and spits up bugs

being wlw is so rough