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not a democracy

"IRIS? WAKE UP!"

Iris starts awake, groaning as she lifts her head from its awkward position against the car window. She massages the back of her neck, blinking her eyes as her vision unblurred, and Carl came into focus. "Carl? What-"

The memories flood through her in a flash.

Shane's hands on her neck, squeezing the air out of her lungs and leaving her gasping for breath, her vision swimming in and out of focus, the fear creeping in that the last thing she would ever see was the face of her killer, the man who once felt like a brother. Waking up in the woods to the sound of a gunshot so loud against the throbbing of her skull it felt like an explosion had rocked through her mind. Running through the woods, disorientated and terrified, and seeing Shane's body crumble to the floor after being shot by Carl, unable to understand what was happening until she moved closer and saw the milky white film over his eyes. Her desperate screams for Glenn that rippled through her very soul when she got back to the farm, followed by a herd of walkers. "Oh, god. Glenn. Where's Glenn?"

"We don't know." Hershel's voice came from the passenger seat of the car. Iris squints at him, seeing the blood that still stained the back of his head from the walker guts that were sprayed everywhere during the battle. "Hopefully he got out along with my daughters and he'll meet us here."

"Iris, are you okay?" Rick asks, looking at her through the mirror. His hands tighten around the steering wheel as he drives, the motion rocking her injured body back and forth. "You had us worried for a moment."

"Yeah." Iris sighs, stretching out with a small grunt. She leans her head against the headrest, feeling heavy with the weight of everything that had happened. "Where are we?"

"The highway." Carl says, perking up as Iris becomes more and more aware. His blue eyes point at the window, looking bright and expectant despite recent events. "We're gonna meet up with mom. Maybe Glenn will be with her."

Iris looks out the window, her fingers brushing over the bruises on her neck. The car was moving quickly, dodging all of the abandoned vehicles as the familiar sight of the highway came into view. She reaches for her bag, but her eyes widen when she realises that it wasn't with her, she didn't bring it with her when she ran after Shane in the woods, and it was probably still in the farm. She deflates. "I hope so. I really hope so."

The car eventually slows to a stop, and Iris recognises the spot from a couple weeks ago, when they had cleared the cars from the highway waiting for Rick and Daryl to return with Sophia. It wasn't that long ago, but it felt like a lifetime had passed since then, and everything had changed.

Carl all but jumps out of the car as soon as he can, and Iris' movements were too slow to grab at him before he started to search all of the cars for Lori. Rick scrambles to follow him, the highway was still littered with walkers, despite the fact that such a massive herd had passed through, but Carl was clearly not thinking about the danger, his mind purely on the possibility of reuniting with his mother.

Iris and Hershel step out of the car, the slamming of the door making her tense, the sound reminding her too much of a gunshot. She walks over to Carl, holding onto his shoulders as his face falls and he looks at Rick with panic. "Wait, where's mom? You said she'd be here. We gotta go back for her."

"Carl..." Rick says, trying to reach out for his son, but Carl pulls away.

"No. Why are we running? What are you doing?" Carl demands, looking between Rick and Iris. "It's- It is mom. We need to get her and not be safe a mile away. What about Glenn? He's not here either. No one's here!"

"Shh." Rick says, kneeling down to hold onto Carl's arms, looking around for walkers. Iris winces as Carl yells, the wound on her head had stopped bleeding but she was still tender and sore. "You need to be quiet, all right? Please. Please."

"It's mom." Carl repeats.

Iris sighs. "Carl. We need to give it time. We just got here."

"How much time!?"

Rick closes his eyes for a moment, standing up. "Look, Carl, listen..."

"No." Carl pulls away from Rick, backing away and walking off through the cars, staying in view but facing far away from his father.

Iris puts her hands on her hips. "I'll go talk to him."

"No." Rick shakes his head. "Give him a minute."

"Rick?" Iris asks, her voice small and vulnerable as she looks around, feeling the crisp morning air on her teary eyes. "What if they don't-"

"They will." Rick interrupts, nodding his head firmly. "They'll be here. Lori, Glenn, Hershel's daughters. They'll all be here. We just have to wait."

"Rick. You've got to get your boy to safety, and Iris is gonna need patching up." Hershel says. His voice was calm and measured. "I'll wait here for my girls and the others. I know a few places. We'll meet up at one of them later."

"Whoa. No." Iris shakes her head. "I'm not going anywhere until I find Glenn."

"You're lucky you don't have a concussion." Hershel shoots back. "We don't have time to wait. You three need to get to a safe place."

"Where? Where is safe?" Rick asks. "We're not splitting up."

"Please, keep your boy safe." Hershel pleads. "I'll hide in one of the cars. If a walker gets me, so be it. I've lost my farm. I've lost my wife and maybe my daughters."

"You don't know that. They'll be here." Rick shoots back.

"And you don't know that."

"Don't say that. We're not the only ones who made it out. We're not." Iris replies.

"You're a man of God. Have some faith." Rick says.

"I can't profess to understand God's plan, but Christ promised the resurrection of the dead. I just thought he had something a little different in mind." Hershel sighs. Iris grunts as he talks, refusing to even humour the idea of leaving before Glenn got here.

"We stick together." Rick repeats, and it was firm and final.

They stayed for a while without qualms, taking out any walker that came within their radius. Iris had scounged some bullets from the cars around her, but she had found a knife that she was using to kill them. Considering they had no idea what was left for them, she guessed they should probably be saving bullets.

Carl had come around once more walkers started to walk through their small setup, and the four of them were crouched behind their car, trying to stay as quiet as possible. Iris closes her eyes.

Please get here soon, Glenn.

"I don't know how much longer we can stay here." Hershel whispers, holding onto the car as he hides behind it.

"I- I'm not leaving without mom." Carl insists.

Hershel shoots him a look.

Rick sighs, whisper-shouting at Hershel. "So we're just gonna walk away? Not knowing if my wife, if Iris' boyfriend, if your girls are still out there? How do we live with that?"

"You've only got one concern now." Hershel lifts a finger. "Just one. Keeping him alive. Nature may be throwing us a curveball, but that law is still true."

Something changes in Rick's face, and Iris sighs in realisation. She shakes her head, but Rick focuses on Carl, making eye contact with his son. "Carl. It's not safe here. I'm sorry. We'll-"

Rick suddenly cuts himself off, his face paling with relief, all of his stressed features loosening as he looks out in the distance. Iris stands up, holding a hand over her head to shield it from the low hanging sun, trying to catch what Rick was seeing.

Carol and Daryl were on a motorbike, riding towards them and circling around to face them. Behind, two different cars followed, like a flash of bright light in the darkest night. Iris can't help but let out a giggle, holding her hands in the prayer position over her mouth.

Lori jumps out of the third car as soon as T-Dog brings it to a stop, running towards her son and collapsing down to Carl's level, bringing him into a huge hug, one that Rick joins as soon as she stands up. Iris was about to run over and greet Lori, but she stops in her tracks the moment she spots the driver of the second car, everything slows to a stop.

"Glenn!" She yells, just as Glenn and Maggie get out of the silver blood streaked car, and his entire expression lights up, and he stumbles towards her. They meet in the middle, practically falling into each other. Tears sting in the corners of her eyes, and she clutches onto him, the two of them swaying back and forth together. Iris buries her head in his shoulder, basking in the scent of him and finally realising just how terrified she was waiting on this highway for him, not knowing if he was even going to show up.

"Iris." Glenn whispers in her ear. Iris laughs giddily again at the sound of his voice, bringing her hands even tighter around him, feeling the familarness of his hair between her fingers. "Iris. Oh my god, oh my god. I thought you were dead. You- Randall..."

Iris pulls away to speak to him, to hush his whisperings. "Shh, I'm here. I'm here now."

Glenn's face falls and he very gently lifts his hand and grazes over the cut on her temple, staring at the very obvious bruises on her neck with wide eyes. "Iris, you're hurt."

Iris shakes her head, still smiling from ear to ear, taking both of his hands into hers. She barely even feels the pain right now, too overtaken by the sight and feel of him to feel anything but pure joy. "I'm okay. I'll be okay. God, it's so good to see you."

She collapses back into him, and Glenn takes her tightly into his arms, wrapping her in a warm blanket of safety. He gasps, and pulls away, letting go for a moment as he takes a backpack off of his bag. "This is yours."

Iris grins. "My backpack! I thought this was gone forever. Oh, thank you."

"Where'd you find everyone?" Rick asks. Iris pulls away a little from Glenn, still holding his hand. Maggie, Beth and Hershel were in a group embrace, and Iris felt warm seeing their family reunion.

Daryl smirks. "Well, those guys' tail lights zigzagging all over the road, figured he had to be Asian, driving like that."

Glenn shakes his head, but he catches Daryl's playful tone. "Good one."

"Where's the rest of us?" Daryl asks, looking around at their significantly smaller group.

Rick shrugs. "We're the only ones who made it so far."

Iris squeezes Glenn's hand tighter, biting her lip as she looks in the distance for any other cars.

"Shane?" Lori asks, her eyes widening.

Rick tenses up, but simply shakes his head. Lori gasps, and Iris feels the bruises on her neck twinge, as if the very mention of Shane made her feel guilty even though she was the one that had to fight for her life against him. She lifts Glenn's hand up, feeling the pulse on his wrist and timing his breaths with her own. It was a reminder that she could breathe, that her oxygen flow wasn't restricted anymore and she didn't have to panic for air. Glenn puts his other arm around her shoulder, holding her close, sensing her distress even if he didn't understand all of the reasons why.

"Andrea?" Glenn asks, and Iris realises that the blonde wasn't among the people who had joined them.

Carol sniffs. "She saved me, then I lost her."

"We saw her go down." T-Dog says quietly.

Iris breathes out. Andrea was brave, and protective, and sweet in her own way. Iris would miss her strong opinions and her spirit.

"Patricia?" Hershel asks.

Beth shakes her head, burying her head in her father's chest. "They got her, too. Took her right in front of me. I was- I was holdin' onto her, daddy. She just..." Beth trails off. Maggie strokes her hair softly, and Beth sniffles. "What about Jimmy? Did you see Jimmy?

"He was in the RV when it got overrun." Iris informs softly. Beth sobs again.

"You definitely saw Andrea?" Carol asks, raising an eyebrow.

Lori swallows. "There were walkers everywhere."

"Did you see her?" Carol questions.

No one answers. Lori and T-Dog share a glance, and Iris inhales in anticipation

Daryl walks back over to his bike. "I'm gonna go back."

"No." Rick says.

"We can't just leave her." Daryl argues back.

"We don't even know if she's there." Lori says.

"She isn't there. She isn't. She's somewhere else or she's dead. There's no way to find her." Rick shakes his head, refusing to go back to the walker invested farm.

"So we're not even gonna look for her?" Glenn asks, his hand tightening around her waist.

"What if she's still there?" Iris asks, feeling Glenn's anxieties radiating off of him.

"She's not." Rick insists. He sounds different, more commanding. More hardened. "We gotta keep moving. There have been walkers crawling all over here."

"I say head east." T-Dog suggests.

There was a general feeling of acceptance in the air, knowing that Rick wanted to keep them safe and to go back would mean risking more lives for someone who was more than likely gone. Iris leans her head on Glenn's shoulder.

Daryl nods. "Stay off the main roads. The bigger the road, the more walkers, more assholes like this one." Daryl points at a walker advancing towards them. "I got him."

Daryl takes his crossbow from his bike, loading the arrow and shooting it right in the eye.

𖤓𖤓𖤓

They still had no idea where they were going, but getting away from the highway and the influx of walkers that constantly cycled through it. They had enough cars to transport all of them, and Iris sat in between Glenn and Maggie in the back of the silver chair, resting her head on Glenn's shoulder tiredly as the hours went by. None of them had really spoken in a while, not even Beth or Hershel in the front seats, which Iris was glad about. Glenn hadn't asked her about the bruises on her neck and the cut on her temple, likely due to the fact they hadn't had a chance to be alone yet.

Iris sniffs, shifting in her seat a little. It was getting uncomfortable, after a long amount of time, and she desperately needed to stretch her legs.

Glenn hums next to her, dropping his shoulder up a little to make her more comfortable, and she smiles to herself.

Rick was driving behind them, and Iris looks up when she hears him honk and slow to a stop. Hershel presses down on the breaks and Daryl stops his bike, he and Carol walk over to the cars. Glenn opens the left hand door and steps out, extending a hand for Iris as the group meets up. Rick sighs as he walks over, his hands on his hips.

"You out?" Daryl asks.

Rick nods heavily. "Running on fumes."

Iris shivers, only in the clothes she was wearing when she followed Shane, a short sleeved shirt and cargo jeans, which didn't do much to keep her warm in the new weather, especially as evening fell once again.

"We can't stay here." Maggie says, looking around at the empty road.

"We can't all fit in one car." Glenn points out.

"We'll have to make a run for some gas in the morning." Rick says. He frowns as he stares into the open horizon.

"Spend the night here?" Carol exclaims, wrapping her cardigan around herself.

"I'm freezing." Carl says, and he was shivering more so than Iris was.

Lori wraps Carl into her chest, rubbing his arms. "We'll build a fire, yeah?"

"It better be a big one." Iris comments. Glenn pulls her into a side hug, neither of them wearing any jackets. The walker attack on the farm had caught everyone off guard.

"You go out looking for firewood, stay close. Only got so many arrows." Daryl says. He looks at Rick. "How you doing on ammo?"

"Not enough." Rick sighs.

"Got a couple rounds from the cars on the highway, but it wasn't much." Iris says.

"We can't just sit here with our asses hanging out." Maggie says, standing close to her sister.

"Watch your mouth." Hershel warns. Iris grins at him. "Everyone stop panicking and listen to Rick."

Rick sends him a nod of respect. "All right, we'll set up a perimeter. In the morning, we'll find gas and some supplies. We'll keep pushing on."

"I can go make a run now, try and scrounge up some gas." Maggie offers. She looks at Glenn and Iris huddled up. "I'm sure Glenn and Iris would join me."

However, Rick was staying firm in his authoritative decision. "No, we stay together. God forbid something happens and people get stranded without a car."

"Rick, we're stranded now." Glenn protests hesitantly, still rubbing his hands over the goosebumps on Iris' arms.

"I know it looks bad, we've all been through hell and worse, but at least we found each other." Rick says. Iris nods, remembering how horrible it was when they first arrived on the highway. Her bruises twinge in anxiety. "I wasn't sure. I really wasn't, but we did. We're together. We keep it that way. We'll find shelter somewhere. There's gotta be a place."

Iris values Rick's enthusiasm and his strong sense of hope, but right now it felt like some kind of false positive, and this group needed something to work for. Glenn sighs, and Iris squeezes his hand in encouragement. "Rick, look around. Okay? There's walkers everywhere. They're migrating or something."

Rick shakes his head. "There's gotta be a place not just where we hole up, but that we fortify, hunker down, pull ourselves together, build a life for each other. I know it's out there. We just have to find it."

"Even if we do find a place and we think it's safe, we can never be sure. For how long? Look what happened with the farm. We fooled ourselves into thinking that that was safe." Maggie pipes up. Iris nods. She had once thought that about the Quarry, too. It seemed like no place was ever safe for long, and they would struggle to find somewhere long term, which caused a lot of problems, especially with Lori's pregnancy as it advanced.

"We won't make that mistake again." Hershel says, looking at Rick with solidarity and respect.

"We'll make camp tonight over there, get on the road at the break of day." Rick decides. Iris wasn't sure how this would affect group morale, but she wasn't going to go against Rick, not now, after everything.

"Does this feel right to you?" Carol asks in a hushed tone. Some people shuffle uncomfortably.

Beth swallows, looking nervous. "What if walkers come through, or another group like Randall's?"

"You know I found Randall, right? He had turned, but he wasn't bit." Daryl says, his head tilting in confusion. Iris had seen Shane kill Randall, she had seen Randall rise up again without ever being bitten, but at the time, she was too distracted to pay any mind to it. How had Randall turned without being bit?

"How's that possible?" Beth asks.

"Rick, what the hell happened?" Lori questions, her voice going down an octave.

Before Rick could answer, Daryl speaks again. Shane killed Randall. Just like he always wanted to."

"And then the herd got him." Maggie states, but it sounds like more of a question.

Iris opens her mouth, her throat feeling hoarse as she tries to speak the words that she was dreading. "No. I- I saw it happen. Shane killed him and... and then he turned. Just like that."

Glenn peers at her in shock. Iris doesn't meet his gaze, feeling the shame and the struggle to even think about what happened, let alone say it out loud. There was a general sigh of worry as Iris spoke, looking at Rick with panic.

Rick closes his eyes, wincing as if he was bracing herself. He looks up, frowning and shaking his leg. "We're all infected."

It was so silent a pin drop could be heard.

Iris pales, trying to decipher exactly what Rick was saying. They were all infected? How could that be possible? All of Iris' wishes and deepest hopes that eventually this whole thing will end and the world will go back to normal were crushed, as Rick's words sunk in.

"What?" Daryl finally asks.

Rick massages his temple, not quite looking at anyone directly. "At the CDC, Jenner told me. Whatever it is, we all carry it."

Iris holds a hand over her mouth. "No way."

"And you never said anything?" Carol asks with a twinge of anger.

"Would it have made a difference?" Rick reasons.

"You knew this whole time?" Glenn asks, holding onto Iris tightly. She looks at Rick and he looks back at her, pleading with his eyes. She can understand why he would keep this from them, but she also felt just a little betrayed by it. She knew that the others certainly did.

"How could I have known for sure?" Rick says. "You saw how crazy that mo..."

"That is not your call." Glenn interupts. Rick looks up at him in shock, his tone was far from his usual one, and Iris couldn't really blame him. "Okay, when I found out about the walkers in the barn, I told, for the good of everyone."

"Well, I thought it best that people didn't know." Rick replies. He sighs, staring at all of them for several long seconds before he turns on his heels and walks towards the woods.

Lori sighs and moves away to follow him. The group settles, letting the news sink in as they started to spread out a little between the cars.

Iris sniffs and runs a hand through her hair, accidently brushing against her stinging head wound, and she stumbles over to a tree, sliding down it and resting her head against it.

Glenn follows her, softly perching down next to her. He waits a couple of beats, before taking a breath. "You saw Shane kill Randall?"

Iris nods, her eyes involuntarily spilling with salty tears. "Yeah. Right in front of me. He just... snapped his neck. Like it was nothing."

Glenn nods, giving her a supportive space to speak, in her own time. "I'm sorry."

Iris catches him looking at her injuries, the question heavy on his tongue. She points to it, wiping her tears. "Shane, uh... he-" She cuts herself of, sniffing again as it all crashed down on her at once.

"It's okay." Glenn soothes, wiping her tears with his thumb. "Take your time. It's okay."

"I made a sound when he killed Randall. I was shocked, even though I had a feeling that was why he had brought him into the woods. But he- he saw me, and he chased me. I tripped, and he got me." Iris takes a pause, licking her chapped lips. "He used a rock to hit my head and he put- he put his hands around my neck. I thought I was going to die, I was going to die, but I got away. I just- I've never been so terrified in my life. I thought it was all over, and it was going to be at Shane's hands. The apocalypse of monsters, and I was going to get killed by a human. And I don't know what to do with that." She breaks out in a sob, trying to stifle it in her hands.

Glenn brings both of his arms around her, and she cries into his chest. It was all too much, and every movement of her neck was just another reminder of what she had endured. Glenn was whispering sweet nothings in her ear, rocking her back and forth. "It's okay. He's gone, he can't hurt you anymore, it's alright."

Iris scrunches her eyes together, trying to speak through strangled gasps. Her words came out in a sudden, distressed string. "I don't wanna see anyone die ever again. God, please don't let me see anyone else die. I don't wanna have to kill anyone, I don't wanna be like Shane. I don't wanna-"

"It's okay." Glenn whispers, still rocking her. "We're okay. We're alright. We're safe. Shh, shh."

𖤓𖤓𖤓

"Ow."

"Sorry." Glenn winces for her, very carefully pressing the bandage to her head. They were lucky that Iris kept her backpack stocked with simple medical supplies, but it didn't make the process hurt any less.

"It's okay. Thank you." Iris forces a smile. Night had completely fallen very quickly, and the group had reformed to gather around the fire that was being built. It took Iris a while to stop crying, but Glenn had held her without question, for as long as she needed. She didn't think it was possible to love him more than she already did, but his actions warmed her heart faster than any fire.

Carol and Daryl were muttering indistinctively to each other on the other side of the fire, but Iris payed them no mind as she cuddles back into Glenn's side, feeling nurture and cared for. At some point, Lori had rejoined them, sitting with Carl as she warms herself up. She had probably had some sort of fight with Rick, but Iris closes her eyes and ignores everyone but Glenn.

"How does it feel?" Glenn whispers.

"Better." Iris softly replies, in the same calm tone as him. "It hurts less now I'm with you."

Glenn chuckles. "Good, I'm-"

However, he was cut off by Daryl loud and sudden exclamation to Carol. "Rick has honor."

Iris sits up a little, peering at the two of them suspiciously. But Carol didn't say anything further.

"I think we should take our chances." Maggie says to Beth, but Iris was close enough that she could overhear her.

"Don't be foolish." Hershel says. His newfound loyalty to Rick seemed unbreakable. "There's no food, no fuel, no ammo."

Leaves rustle behind them, immediately alerting everyone into attack positions, reaching for their weapons, because that was what life was like now.

"What was that?" Beth says in a shaky voice.

"Could be anything. Could be a raccoon, could be a possum." Daryl looks into the bush, but in the cover of night can't make out anything.

"Walker." Glenn adds quietly. He and Iris both stand up, trying to get a better look.

"We need to leave." Carol repeats insistently. "I mean what are we waiting for?"

"And go where?" Iris sighs, shrugging her shoulders. "We're doing the best we can."

Glenn was still looking for whatever had made the sound. "Which way?"

"It came from over there." Beth points.

"Back from where we came." Maggie adds, tilting her head.

"Stop." Iris looks for the familiar voice. Rick appears through the treeline, illuminated by the light of the fire. "The last thing we need is for everyone to be running off in the dark. We don't have vehicles. No one's traveling on foot."

A branch snaps somewhere around them, which seemed much scarier at night, especially knowing what predators were afoot. Maggie sighs loudly, pacing restlessly.

"Don't panic." Hershel says.

"I'm not." Maggie replies. She keeps pacing. "I'm not sitting here, waiting for another herd to blow through. We need to move, now."

"We don't have enough vehicles." Iris points out.

Rick shakes his head, his voice level and commanding. "No one is going anywhere."

"Do something!" Carol implores.

"I am doing something! I'm keeping this group together, alive. I've been doing that all along, no matter what. I didn't ask for this. I killed my best friend for you people, for Christ's sake!" Rick yells, immediately shutting everyone up. At the mention of Rick killing Shane, which most people didn't know, there was a tension added to the atmosphere that could be cut with even a dull blade.

No one else spoke, so Rick continued, holding his hands out as his words hit. "You saw what he was like, how he pushed me, how he compromised us, how he threatened us. He staged the whole Randall thing, tried to kill Iris when she she saw right through him, led me out to put a bullet in my back. He gave me no choice. He was my friend, but he came after me. I wasn't smart enough to see it then, but Iris saw all of the signs, and I will never make that mistake again. I will never let anyone get to that level without intervention again, do you hear me?"

"My hands are clean." Rick keeps saying his speech, looking at each person individually with a newfound strength and sense of leadership. "Maybe you people are better off without me. Go ahead. I say there's a place for us, but maybe, maybe it's just another pipe dream. Maybe I'm fooling myself again. Why don't you go and find out yourself? Send me a postcard. Go on, there's the door. You can do better? Let's see how far you get. No takers? Fine. But get one thing straight... if you're staying."

Iris watches her brother intently, seeing the graveness on his face.

"This isn't a democracy anymore."

AUTHORS NOTE

❥ Welcome back to Doomsday!
❥ WE DID IT!! WE FINISHED ACT ONE OF DOOMSDAY!!
❥ Act Two is up next and I am super, super excited to start it oh my god!
❥ Act One came in at 137k words which is INSANE.
❥ Chapters may be a little slower since I am very busy right now, but I am working on writing whenever I can, especially now I'm on Act Two and I can get into some real good stuff!
❥ Next chapter posted will be the Act Two divider later today.
❥ If you enjoyed, please vote and comment <3