𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐒 𝐔𝐏
i will not water myself down to make me more digestible for you. you can choke

"Dale could get under your skin. He sure got under mine, because he wasn't afraid to say exactly what he thought, how he felt. That kind of honesty is rare and brave. Whenever I'd make a decision, I'd look at Dale.

He'd be looking back at me with that look he had. We've all seen it one time or another. I couldn't always read him, but he could read us. He saw people for who they were. He knew things about us—the truth... who we really are. In the end, he was talking about losing our humanity. He said this group was broken.

The best way to honour him is to unbreak it. Set aside our differences and pull together, stop feeling sorry for ourselves and take control of our lives... Our safety... our future. We're not broken. We're gonna prove him wrong. From now on... We're gonna do it his way. That is how we honor Dale."

NADIA HASN'T SLEPT or taken a shower since the moment the bullet passed through Dale's head. She had pushed away from Rick and sprinted away. She heard people shouting for her, telling her to not wander away from safety, but she didn't listen.

Who would she be if she had listened?

Instead, she went straight into the woods and started doing what she does best; Slaying. By the time the sun came above the horizon, she had killed thirty-five walkers, and one vampire that was so desperate for blood that he was drinking from walkers (yuck!).

No one is surprised to see her walking across the field towards the farmhouse while bruised and completely covered in blood. Her knuckles are red and covered in scrapes and blood.

"Nadia!" Someone shouts.

She doesn't turn to look at who it is. Her whole body is numb, her hands and feet aching from killing and hitting things. Her ears are ringing because she had screamed until her voice was raw to draw walkers in.

She had butchered her way through a small herd of them, maiming to the point that only bits of them were left behind.

She and Dale might've been on the opposite side of arguments most of the time, but she respected him. She liked his way of standing in business, on his beliefs. She liked that he was still kind after everything he had been through.

And now their group is down a good person.

"Oh!" Maggie exclaims when she's almost bulldozed by Nadia as the Slayer storms into the house, trailing mud and grime behind her. "Nad—"

Nadia clenches her jaw and makes her way upstairs and into the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind her.

She reaches into the tub and cranks on the hot water, stepping under the pelting hot water without even taking her clothes off.

Steam rolls off of her. It burns, it aches, it feels like fire is coursing through her veins, but she doesn't care. She stays under the scorching hot water, not moving, just feeling empty on the inside.

THE REST OF that day consisted of Dale's funeral, most of the group going out to kill any nearby walkers, fixing broken parts of the fencing around the farm, and watching over Randall seeing as Rick wasn't able to kill him.

Nadia had spent most of the day hacking away at trees and already chopped down logs, and building a lookout post on the windmill and on a tree that stood by the barn that holds the walkers.

There was a plan to also build another lookout on the other side of the windmill, and then one or two directly behind the house so all spots were covered in case of an attack. Then after those are built, she plans on building a much more secure fence around the property.

Her hands are aching and shaking as she clenches her fingers around her axe and slices effortlessly through a thick log. Even though it's getting cold out, she is sweating.

Pausing briefly to wipe a drop of sweat from her eyebrow, she catches sight of Glenn making his way towards her. Sighing, she sheathes her axe, picks up the newly cut log and turns her back to him.

Glenn pauses, hesitating approaching her, knowing she wants her space after what she went through last night.

But it's not in him to just leave someone on their own if they're struggling. Steeling himself, he walks forward.

Nadia can feel him behind her and she huffs. "Go away."

Even though her voice is gravelly and rough, Glenn can't help but have a bit of hope flare in him because she talked! She hasn't spoken one word or even released a sound of annoyance since she arrived on the farm covered in blood this morning.

"No." His heart jumps in his chest at his one word, scared she'll hit him or something for being firm. "You've been doing this alone for hours. I wanna help."

Nadia stops, taking in a sharp breath, and turning sharply, marching towards him. She sees him flinch which makes her roll her eyes as she tosses the log she holds into his hands.

She tilts her head towards the tree that is her next target for a lookout stand since the windmill one is done. She then wordlessly walks past him to cut more logs.

Glenn stands there for a second, grinning to himself before happily walking his ass over to the tree. "So... what do you want me to do with these?!" He shouts, dropping the wood on the ground, and spinning around to see Nadia chopping her way through more logs. He swallows, watching as it's effortless for her.

Honestly, at this point, he's beginning to think she's an alien or something because there is little to nothing she can't do. So far the only thing on the list of things she can't do is play guitar and share her emotions.

"Come on, pizza boy," Nadia grunts as she throws six logs down in front of him.

Glenn startles and sprints after her because, in that second of throwing logs down, she has already turned around and walked halfway back to the chopping block. "Ugh, how are you so fast?" He whines.

Her lip turns up into a quick smirk before she clears her features. She swiftly turns around and is almost knocked back by him when he runs into her.

"Seriously?" Nadia raises a brow at him, enjoying the blush covering his cheeks in embarrassment. "You want a turn chopping?"

Tilting her head, she watches as he glances between the axe on her hip and the pile of logs that still need to be cut in half.

"Uh..." Glenn trails off and shrugs, clapping his hands together. "I can try."

"It's not that hard," Nadia tells him with a shrug. "Here." She pulls out her axe and flips it in the air, catching it on the handle before flipping it around once more so she's holding the less sharp part of the blade, the handle facing Glenn. "Have a go."

He swallows, nods to himself, and takes the axe. Slowly turning around, he grips the handle with both hands and raises it in the air. Slamming it down on the log, it goes through maybe an inch before getting stuck.

Nadia snorts which turns into wheezing when Glenn struggles to pull the axe out of the log.

Off in the distance, Rick is talking with Daryl, but upon hearing the laughter, he turns his head and smiles lightly at the sight of Nadia snorting at Glenn who is clearly making exaggerated movements now as he continues struggling to pull the axe from the wood.

Daryl grunts before he glances at Rick, nodding his head towards the duo and raising his brows in a silent question.

Rick shrugs, still smiling, glad that someone's making that girl's day a bit better.

IT'S A LITTLE while later when it's decided that everyone moves into the farmhouse, seeing as winter is approaching and Lori is pregnant. It's time more permanent things are being done.

"It'll be tight. Fifteen people in one house," Rick says as the group moves around them, grabbing boxes and loading stuff.

"Don't worry about that. With the swamp hardening, the creek dying up." Maggie comes up to the blue truck they stand around, setting down a box. "With fifty head of cattle on the property, we might as well be ringing a damn dinner bell."

Hershel nods. "She's right. We should've moved you in a while ago."

Nadia purses her lips, turning around and almost running over Carl. "Woah, there." She pats his head as she goes to maneuver around him, but pauses and bends down, zipping up his jacket that's almost completely open. "Gotta keep warm, munchkin."

Her throat feels raw as she speaks, swallowing thickly as her baby brother's face replaces Carl's for a split second. Offering a forced smile, she stands up and ruffles his hair.

"You're good with him." Lori offers the teenager a small smile, watching her with intense blue eyes.

"Uh..." Nadia nods, pursing her lips, and shrugging. "I guess."

The Grimes woman tilts her head. "It was like you were meant to be an older sister."

Nadia's world falls. Her heart leaps up to her throat and she feels everything spinning.

Just then, Rick speaks up, "Alright, let's move the vehicles near each of the doors facing out toward the road." He walks over and rests a hand on Nadia's shoulder, unknowingly grounding her. "Nadia here had the right idea; she and Glenn worked together to build a lookout in the windmill and one in the tree by the barn. She also thinks we should build one or two behind the farmhouse, maybe even one in the middle of the field."

Rick jerks a thumb to his right where the acres of cows stand as he continues, "They should give us more than enough sight lines on all ends of the property." He turns his head slightly and makes eye contact with Nadia, nodding. "Another idea she had, when it starts warming up again, we build up a more secure fence around the property, for extra caution."

Shane is pursing his lips, but he can't say anything because everything that's being said makes sense.

Rick looks everyone over and nods once. "T-Dog, you take the perimeter around the house. Keep track of everyone coming and going."

T-Dog glances at Rick, frowning. "What about standing guard?"

"I need you and Daryl on double duty," Rick orders, the two both nodding and heading off.

"I'll stock the basement with food and water, enough that we can all survive there a few days if need be," says Hershel as he places a box into the truck.

Andrea nods, setting her gaze on Rick. "What about patrols?"

"Let's get this area locked down first. After that, Shane'll assign shifts while me and Daryl take Randall offsite and cut him loose," Rick says, making his words clear.

Nadia inhales, rolling her eyes. She understands they want Dale's memory to live on, but letting a boy like Randall live knowing he knows where they reside is... stupid and reckless.

Shane scoffs. "We're back to that now?"

Rick walks towards him. "It was the right plan first time around. Poor execution."

Shane laughs mirthlessly. "That's a slight understatement."

"You don't agree, but this is what's happening," Rick speaks firmly, making tense eye contact with the other man. "Swallow it. Move on."

Even though for the first time, Nadia isn't on Rick's side, she still isn't about to take Shane's side, at least not out loud. Call her petty, but it's whatever.

Shane stares at Rick, eyes narrowing. "You know that Dale's death and the prisoner—that's two separate things, right?" He looks away, shaking his head. "You wanna take Daryl as your wingman, be my guest."

At least Nadia doesn't have to worry about Shane trying to kill Rick again. That's a relief.

"Thank you."

Shane nods as he walks away. "You got it."

Rick exhales and turns around, raising a brow at Nadia. "Any input?"

Nadia purses her lips, crossing her arms. "Nope. You're an adult. You know what you're doing." Her lips move upwards in a grin. "I hope."

Rick laughs and shakes his head. "Get out of here, kid!" He shoos her with his hand.

"Got it, boss!" She starts moving backwards and salutes him before swiftly turning on her feet and walking away.

NADIA IS ON the front porch with Beth and Carl when T-Dog comes running around the corner of the house, shouting, "Randall, he's gone!"

The Slayer stands up abruptly and hardens her eyes. "What?!"

She can't fathom someone like Randall of all people to rip his hands free of the cuffs and break out of a locked shed, especially without someone hearing something.

Daryl, who is nearby, changes his expression and takes off running towards the shed. "Ain't no way."

"How the fuck—" Nadia cuts herself off as she takes off after Daryl, towards the shed.

"I don't know! He's just gone," T-Dog answers, eyes wide in a quiet panic, mouth twisting worryingly as Rick and Andrea rush around the corner upon hearing the commotion.

They surround the shed where the door is open and inside lays bloody handcuffs. No Randall in sight.

Rick kneels as he picks up the bloody cuffs, narrowing his eyes in thought.

"How long has he been gone?" Hershel inquires as he and Maggie approach with wide eyes.

Rick stands up, letting his eyes move around the room one last time before stepping out of the shed. "It's hard to say," he answers truthfully. "The cuffs are still hooked. He must've slipped them."

"Is that possible?" Carol asks quietly.

Andrea steps out of the shed. "It is if you've got nothing to lose." She shuffles out of the way so Hershel can close the shed's door.

Nadia turns to T-Dog. "You came to get him, right?" At his nod, she frowns. "Was it already unlocked?"

He shakes his head, brows furrowing. "No. I had to unlock it."

Everyone is even more puzzled at that revelation.

Sighing loudly, Nadia holds a hand to her forehead, tense. There is no way this is happening. Her eyes survey the group, promptly narrowing when she finds only one person missing.

As if he is being summoned, Shane's voice shouts from the woods, "Rick!" His gravelly voice travels over to them and Nadia feels her skin crawl. "Rick!"

Everyone spins around to the man. He has blood trickling from the bridge of his nose—smeared all the way down to his collarbone.

Nadia widens her stance, tilting her head as she watches Shane approach the group quickly.

"What happened?" Lori yells, concerned at the alarming amount of blood on the man's nose.

"He's armed!" Shane informs, his voice booming across the yard. "He's got my gun!" He scoffs. "Little bastard snuck up on me. He clocked me in the face."

"Alright." Rick whips around. "Hershel, T-Dog, get everybody back in the house," he orders, pointing to the two aforementioned men. "Glenn, Nadia, Daryl, come with us."

Nadia nods, gripping the axe's handle as it sits in its sheathe.

"T, I'm gonna need that gun." Shane points at the gun T-Dog is holding.

"Just let him go. That was the plan, wasn't it, just to let him go?" Carol asks, watching the commotion with wide eyes.

Rick shakes his head and answers harshly as Shane takes the gun from T-Dog, "The plan was to cut him loose far away from here, not on our front step with a gun."

The Slayer and the four men start marching towards the woods.

"Don't go out there. You don't know what can happen!" Carol shouts.

"Get everybody back in the house. Lock all the doors and stay put!" Rick repeats his order, not even looking back.

The five of them hear a commotion behind them, signalling that the others are listening to Rick's orders and are going inside.

Nadia holds the axe in her hand, and Daryl has his crossbow, with an arrow already nocked. Rick has his signature python cocked and ready, Glenn has a hammer in one hand and a flashlight in the other, and Shane has the gun he took from T-Dog.

"I saw him head up through the trees that way before I blacked out." Shane points off in a direction. They are maybe twenty feet into the trees when he speaks, "I'm not sure how long."

Nadia stays tense, eyeing Shane's movements and his shifty eyes as things don't add up in her head. Sure, it looks like Randall was trying to break his way out of the cuffs, but with how whiny he was, Nadia doubts he would go through with breaking his thumbs (the only way out of cuffs) and then somehow escaping a locked prison without unlocking it. He's no magician. So that only leaves one plausible option—Shane let him go.

"He couldn't have gotten far," Rick states. "He's hobbled, exhausted."

"And armed," Glenn adds, staying close to Nadia's side.

"So are we," Rick says, he and Shane coming to a stop and turning around to face the other three. "Can you track him?"

Daryl stares down at the ground, unable to spot anything that he's supposedly meant to see. "No, I don't see nothing."

"Seems he didn't come this way, then," Nadia says, lips pursing when Shane shoots her a look.

"Hey, look, there ain't no use tracking him, okay?!" Shane's voice carries, a slight hitch in it. "He went that way, we need to pair up. We spread out, we just chase him down. That's it," he practically yells, eyeing the four of them.

Rick glances to the left of him at Nadia, watching her stiff posture and the way she's eyeing Shane. They seem to have come to the same conclusion.

Daryl narrows his eyes at Shane, growing sceptical. "Kid weighs a buck twenty-five soaking wet. You trying to tell us he got the jump on you?"

"I say a rock pretty much evens those odds, wouldn't you?" Shane retorts, irritated.

Nadia raises a brow. "Seems to me you're just a weak bitch."

Shane spits out blood by Nadia's feet. "Listen here—"

"Knock it off," Rick orders, stopping the arguing, "Nadia, you, Glenn and Daryl start heading up the right flank." He points into the distance Shane had pointed previously. "Me and Shane will take the left." He holds eye contact with Nadia who scoffs. "Remember, Randall's not the only threat out there. Keep an eye out for one another."

"Rick—"

"Listen to me, Nadia," Rick says firmly, interrupting her, tilting his head forward and making meaningful eye contact, trying to communicate just through his eyes. She huffs but backs down. "Good." He then turns to Shane and starts walking away. "Shane, let's go."

Shane can't stop himself from shooting Nadia a nasty look as he follows after Rick.

Daryl and Glenn turn to her, both surprised she backed down.

Nadia raises her brows at them. "I'm not going with you guys." Glenn purses his lips and Daryl grunts. She rolls her eyes. "I do not trust Shane. We all know this."

Glenn frowns but nods, gut-twisting even thinking about her being on her own. "Please be careful."

"Will do, pizza boy." She smirks, saluting them before quietly following Shane and Rick.

"She'll be okay," Daryl grumbles, watching her for a second before leading Glenn in the opposite direction. "She'll watch Rick's back as well."

Glenn nods, but something in his gut tells him that something bad is about to happen.

NIGHT HAS FALLEN and Nadia is still following quietly behind Shane and Rick, watching every shifty movement from the former while still checking her surroundings.

In the time she's been following them, she's come up with a theory; Shane had a breakdown of some sort so he went to personally kill Randall, or perhaps he found another solution. What she can't figure out is if he simply killed Randall or allowed Randall to run back to his people just so he can maybe tell Rick 'I told you so' when they come for the group. Either way, with one wrong move, Nadia won't be hesitant to protect Rick.

Eventually, Shane leads Rick into a field, far from the farmhouse, and stops, allowing Rick to walk in front of him.

Nadia crouches at the edge of the woods, watching carefully, holding her breath.

"You say he got you with a rock?" Rick asks with his back to Shane, but even with the distance and the darkness, Nadia can tell he's tense.

Shane nods. "That's what I said."

"Inside the shed?" Rick inquires, voice teetering. "'Cause that door was shut when T-Dog rolled up."

Shane shifts. "I saw that too." He shrugs. "Must've slipped through the rafters in the roof."

There's a pause, Shane gripping the gun tighter as Rick asks, "So this is where you planned to do it?"

Shane licks his lips. "It's a good place as any."

Nadia crouches a little lower, breath hitching as she sees Shane take a step closer to Rick. She nods to herself, slowly approaching stealthily, staying out of their peripheral.

"At least have the balls to call this what it is," Rick snaps, turning around now, eyes narrowed. "Murder!" Shane takes a sharp intake of breath at the word. "You really believe if you walk back onto that farm alone—No me, no Randall—"

"I want you to hush up," Shane snaps.

Rick scoffs. "You really believe they're gonna buy whatever bullshit story you cook up?!"

"That's just it. It ain't no story." Shane shrugs, raising his gun and pointing it straight at Rick's head. "I saw that prisoner shoot you down. I ran after him. I snapped his neck." He widens his stance. "It ain't gonna be easy, but Lori and Carl—they'll get over you. They done it before. They just gonna have to."

Rick's voice fades as he asks, "Why? Why now? I thought we worked this all out."

Nadia wants to scoff at that but has to keep quiet as she rounds up directly behind Shane now, crouched low in the darkness.

"We tried to kill each other man." Shane scoffs. "What you think? We just gonna forget about it all? We gonna ride off into the sunset together?"

Rick shakes his head, voice wobbling, "You're gonna kill me in cold blood? Screw my wife?" His face twists in anger and disgust. "Have my children—my children—call you daddy? Is that what you want?! That life won't be worth a damn." He shakes his head. "I know you. You won't be able to live with this."

Shane mutters angrily before shouting, "What you know about what I can live with?! You got no idea what I can live with, what I live with!" He takes three steps closer to Rick, eyes narrowing. "You wanna talk about what I can do, Rick? How about what you can do? Here I am. Come on, man. Raise your gun!"

Rick shakes his head, tense. "No. No, I will not."

"What happened, Rick? I thought you weren't the good guy anymore. Ain't that what you said?" Shane laughs mirthlessly. "Even right here, right now, you ain't gonna fight for 'em? I'm a better father than you, Rick. I'm better for Lori than you, man. It's 'cause I'm a better man than you, Rick! 'Cause I can be here and I'll fight for it." He's shaking with rage by this point. "You come back here and you just destroy everything! You got a broken woman. You got a weak boy. You ain't got the first clue on how to fix it. Raise your gun!"

Just then, Nadia leaps forward from her spot behind Shane, grabbing for the gun. He pulls the trigger, the bullet passing over Rick's head who quickly ducks with a curse.

Nadia yanks Shane back harshly with an arm around his neck, slamming backwards onto the ground and wrapping her legs around his flailing ones.

She grips his hand holding the gun, bashing into the ground until he lets go. "Stop," she hisses in his ear as Rick stands up and approaches them cautiously. "Your fight is over, Shane."

"The hell it is, girl." Shane throws his head backwards, busting her nose.

Nadia grunts and loosens her hold on him, allowing him enough time to grab the gun again and try to shoot her in the chest. She quickly rolls to the side, missing the bullet by a millisecond.

She jumps up and rushes him, knocking him backwards, a huff of air leaving his lungs. She scrambles for the gun, trying to push it out of his grasp again.

Shane reaches up and yanks her hair harshly, making her yelp and slam her elbow into his chest, the man yelling out in pain and releasing both her and the gun.

"Shit!" Rick shouts and joins the fray, trying to get them away from one another, which lands him a kick in the face by Shane, busting his nose and knocking him to the ground. "Fuck!"

Nadia is now straddling Shane, wringing her hands around his neck to strangle him just enough to lose consciousness but not to die.

Shane wraps his arms around her and rolls them over so that he's now the one with his hands around her neck, strangling her.

She grunts, scratching at his hands. Then, she slams her elbows into the crooks of his, throwing her legs up and around his neck, rolling them back over so she is on top once again.

"Fucking bitch!" Shane shouts, reaching up as something shiny reflects in his hands.

"Fuck!" Nadia yells, immediately releasing her hold on his head to grab his hand with the knife, bending it and his wrist, making him cry out in pain.

There's a popping noise, Shane screams, and then the knife is slammed into his chest, the opposite side of his heart.

Nadia's eyes widen and she immediately lets go, stumbling to her feet and away from him. "No, no, fuck!" Her heart is pounding loudly in her ears. Killing a human is against all moral codes of a Slayer.

"Nadia!" Rick grunts and ambles to his feet as well, rushing to her. His eyes leave her panicked form to spot his best friend moaning in pain with a knife sticking out of his chest. He swallows thickly. "Shane..."

He turns back to Nadia, brushing her hair out of her eyes with his hands before grabbing her cheeks. "Are you alright?" She just stands there with wide eyes, staring at her hands. "Nadia?!" He tries to shake her out of her stupor.

Something catches her eye and another gunshot goes off. Rick is pushed to the ground harshly, his eyes wide as he sees a bullet scrape by Nadia's head, leaving a small trail of blood across her temple.

Nadia releases a battle cry as she runs towards Shane—the man in a stumbling, standing position with the gun in his hand.

She slams into him, grabbing the knife from his chest and driving it back into him repeatedly, blood splattering everywhere. Tears stream down her face, smearing the blood.

Rick is there suddenly, pulling her back against him as she cries loudly. "Shh, shh. It's okay. We're okay."

"Dad?" Nadia startles at the new voice, turning her head quickly to Carl who stands there with wide eyes. "Nadia?" His voice cracks upon seeing her covered in blood and crying, and then at Shane's dead body. "What happened?"

"Carl..." Rick trails off, his eyes widening as he moves towards his son.

Carl stumbles backwards slightly, eyes wide, flittering over the two of them and the dead body.

"C—Carl," Nadia stutters out as she pushes herself to her feet, shaking from adrenaline and the flurry of emotions running through her. "I—it's not—" She shakes her head, tears free-falling down her face.

"Carl." Rick shakes his head, tears streaming down his face as well. "You should be back home."

Carl is holding a gun now, aiming it at his father. Rick's face drops and Carl takes a few steps backwards out of fear—afraid of his father.

Unknown to Rick and Nadia, Shane's body rises from the ground, making its way towards them.

"Jus—just put the gun down," Rick begs, holding a hand out as Carl lets out a sob, his hands shaking.

"It's not what it seems," Nadia tries, voice breaking off towards the end. "Shane, he—"

Carl pulls the trigger, Rick and Nadia flinching but remain unharmed. They turn quickly to see Shane on the ground, much closer to them than before with a bullet wound in his head.

"Was he bit?" Carl asks, looking at Shane's corpse.

Nadia shivers, mouth opening and closing, audibly swallowing thickly.

Rick speaks up, his voice shaking, "Uh, let's, uh, let's get back to the house."

He swallows around the lump in his throat upon seeing his friend's dead body before he grabs Nadia lightly by her arm to pull her into a walk.

Carl allows his dad to take the gun from him and follows on the other side of his father. "You bit too?"

Nadia exhales loudly as Rick says, "No."

Carl nods. "Shane was."

Risk licks his lips, shaking his head, the hand holding Nadia's arm shaking. "That wasn't Shane. You know that."

Carl shrugs. "Used to be." He looks up and around his father to Nadia. "You bit?" He nods and smiles in relief when she simply shakes her head. "What happened? You guys attacked? I mean, I... I heard a gunshot, but I didn't see any walkers nearby." He doesn't seem to notice the looks Rick and Nadia are sharing. "How did Shane die?"

Nadia suddenly stops and grabs Rick's hand on her arm. "Shh, wait!" She whispers harshly. "Do you hear that?"

They turn slowly to find a herd of walkers making their way towards them.

"Holy shit!" Nadia gasps and quickly manoeuvres around so Carl is between her and Rick. "Go, go, go!"

During their run towards the house, more walkers appear on all sides of them, and suddenly Nadia knows what she needs to do. She pushes Carl closer to Rick, whisper-shouting, "Go!"

She turns around and bolts for the herd, ignoring their screams for her. She starts shouting and flailing around to grab attention from the walkers, hoping to bide Rick and Carl time to get to safety.

"Come and get me! Right here, you hungry motherfuckers!" The axe she temporarily forgot about in her tussle with Shane is pulled out and gripped into her hands. "Come and get a taste, fugly fuckers!"

She is surrounded.

She briefly sees Rick and Carl make it into the barn. They're safe.

Nadia nods and steels herself before she starts laying waste to the walkers. She screams and yells as she bashes away at the walkers, cutting them down.

She grunts and kicks one away so hard that it knocks into about five others and makes them tumble down, leaving an open trail.

Quickly, Nadia makes a break for it, but she gets yanked back by her hair. She shouts and uses the axe to chop off the hand that's holding onto her.

"Fuck!" She cries, her eyes watering with anger and fear.

So much has happened in the past fifteen minutes that she can't process it all fast enough. She killed someone for the first time in many years and now she's all alone surrounded by dozens upon dozens of walkers.

Nadia does a quick three-sixty, slicing off four heads in one go, stumbles and then pushes her way past a few more just as the barn goes up in flames. She smirks, already knowing that it has to of been Rick's doing.

She feels both fear and relief that she isn't the only one on the farm.

She can faintly hear shooting by the house, so she quickly changes directions and starts chopping away at the walkers in between her and the house.

As soon as a path is clear enough, Nadia bolts through it, spotting Hershel in front of the house, the only one standing against the herd.

"Hey!" A voice calls, and Nadia quickly turns around to see Daryl on his bike. He throws her duffle bag her way and she easily catches it, throwing the strap over her shoulders. "Here!" He tosses a handgun to her and then revs his motorcycle before taking off.

The Slayer smirks and sheathes her favourite axe before aiming the gun and shooting. Satisfaction fills her as body after body drops to the ground.

Screaming comes from the right of her, and she spins around to see Andrea being surrounded. For a split second, she debates leaving the blonde on her own, but curses under her breath and takes off towards her. She shoots the walkers closest to Andrea. "Run! Go!"

Andrea is surprised, frozen for a second before running back towards the house where Carol is also surrounded. The blonde helps the older woman.

Nadia nods and turns around, screaming upon having a smelly walker's mouth inches from her face. She falls backwards, the duffle bag weighing her down. She scrambles backwards and kicks at its chest, sending it reeling back.

"Fucking shit!" She shouts and hurries into a standing position, finding about twenty walkers making their way straight for her. "Shit!" She looks around with wide eyes to see that she's lost the gun Daryl had given her. "Of course, I lose it five minutes after it's given to me!" She slams her fist into a walker's face and takes off running.

Nadia can no longer see Carol, Andrea, or even Hershel. It looks like she's by herself for real this time—surrounded by hundreds of walkers.

Steeling herself, knowing there's no way the farm will be saved—and praying that everyone ends up meeting back at the highway—Nadia turns and bolts into the woods.

She kills dozens of walkers while running, laughing maniacally as walkers' heads start flying through the air. "Die, you motherfuckers!"

She is swiftly and professionally attacking the walkers one by one, stabbing, gutting, and kicking them. She hides behind a tree when eight walkers pass, but she accidentally steps on a twig that snaps, gaining the attention of the walkers.

She already has her axe ready as she rushes straight for one of the walkers. She roundhouse kicks it, sending it to the ground in a heap.

She smirks and plunges the axe deep into its head before she jumps up, swinging upwards, cutting another walker from its crotch up to its head. It splits in half and falls separate ways onto the ground.

Nadia grunts loudly as she's shoved backwards down a hill by two walkers, her duffle bag and all its contents stabbing her in various places as she rolls and rolls down the hill.

She comes to an abrupt stop, scrambling for her axe that she had dropped. She is grabbed and clawed at by the calves. She grunts and kicks at one of the walker's faces and turns, yanking her dagger out of her boot and slamming it into the monster.

She scrambles up onto her knees and swirls around, kicking her foot out and tripping the approaching walker, immediately stabbing it in the head.

Nadia gets up fully, stumbling, adrenaline slowly leaving her now seeing as she's been fighting for what feels like hours now.

She runs, stopping briefly to grab her fallen axe, sheathing it as she twists and twirls her dagger. Her vision goes a little staticky for a second before she inhales deeply and takes off running again, zigzagging through the trees.

She screams and stumbles backwards when two walkers suddenly appear in front of her. She falls on her ass and the two walkers are on her quickly.

The Slayer groans and hisses as pain flares through her whole body, but she ignores it and drives the dagger into the walkers' heads quickly before shoving them off.

Standing up quickly with the help of a tree, she whips around, side-stepping a walker that's about to attack her, kicking it in the back of the knees and sending it to the ground. She crawls on top of it and stabs the ugly thing in the head, properly killing it.

Nadia rolls off the walker and without even a second to catch her breath, she grabs a nearby branch with her free hand and swings at the incoming three walkers. The walker's heads' go flying as if they are balls and she's holding a baseball bat.

As soon as they fall to their knees, headless, the brunette bolts towards the highway once again, more moans of the dead following her.

She knows she's nearing the highway so she picks up her speed. The others have to be there, right? I mean, it's the most obvious place to go.

Slowing her pace upon seeing the railing from the highway, she sighs in relief and pauses at hearing voices. The voices are wavering, sounding much like they're arguing.

"We need to go back!" Glenn. He sounds hysterical.

"She saved Andrea, but then she disappeared," another voice says, Carol, she thinks. "She probably didn't make it."

"Screw that!" Daryl's gravelly voice shouts. "She made it!"

"How do you know, Daryl?" Lori's voice filters through the air as Nadia starts ambling up the small hill leading to them.

"She's tough," Daryl grunts.

"I'm with Daryl!" Glenn says, voice shaking. It sounds like he might be crying.

"It's dangerous," Hershel says firmly but emphatically. "I'm sorry, but—"

Rick groans and Nadia can imagine him running his hands down his face. "I can't abandon her," he says sternly. "I agree with Daryl and Glenn. She's saved my life more than anyone in this group. I can't leave her." He shakes his head, tears shining in his eyes. "Not her."

"We have to get her back!" Carl's voice says, his young voice strong.

That's when Nadia decides to announce her presence, loudly calling, "Aw, sweet!" She grunts quietly as she flings her leg over the railing that separates them. "I didn't know you guys cared so much."

As she fully stands up, she's almost bulldozed by Carl running into her arms. "Ow," she groans quietly but wraps her arms around his small frame. "Well, hello there, mini Sheriff Friendly."

Nadia looks up to see Glenn wiping away his tears while smiling, Daryl nodding with a grin, Rick slumping in relief and smiling softly.

"So..." She purses her lips, making eye contact with Rick as she runs her fingers through Carl's hair. "What's the plan, cowboy?"

AFTER MEETING ON the highway, the group had gotten in cars and driven as far away as they could get from the herd. Nadia ended up in a van with Rick, Lori, Carl, Carol, and T-Dog while Hershel, his girls, and Glenn piled into another car, and Daryl rode his motorcycle.

Rick hits the steering wheel. "Damn."

Nadia groans from where she is slumped beside Carl. "What is it now, Ricky?"

"We've been riding red for the past hour," Rick tells the van's occupants, rubbing his face.

Nadia frowns as she sees Rick's expression—he's tired as hell and trying to hold it all in. She knows that look because she's done the same thing her entire life. It's exactly how she feels right now.

"Better make sure we don't forget," T-Dog says, and Rick honks the horn, making everyone else stop their vehicles and get out.

"You out?" Daryl asks as he approaches Rick, eyeing Nadia as she slowly follows behind him, clearly exhausted and in pain.

"Running on fumes," Rick states, sighing loudly.

"We can't stay here," Maggie speaks up, crossing her arms.

"We can't all fit in one car," Glenn tells her, moving to stop beside Nadia, quietly sighing in relief, happy to have her in view.

He grasps her arm gently and raises a brow in a silent question. She forces a smile and lightly bumps her arm against his.

"We'll have to make a run for some gas in the morning," Rick informs everyone.

"Spend the night here?" Carol asks, pulling her cardigan tighter around her body.

"I'm freezing," says Carl, wrapping his little arms around his body.

Nadia frowns, wanting to move and wrap him in a warm hug, but her whole body aches. Instead, she watches as his actual mother wraps her arms around him.

"We'll build a fire, yeah?" Rick says.

"I'll go out looking for firewood, stay close. Only got so many arrows. How you doing on ammo?" Daryl asks Rick.

"Not enough."

"We can't just sit here with our asses hanging out."

Nadia huffs. She's tired, hungry, and sore. She does not want to hear people complain. "Oh, stop complaining and listen to Rick. At least he says shit that makes me not want to punch him."

Rick chuckles lightly, running a hand through his hair. "Alright, we'll set up a perimeter. In the morning, we'll find gas and some supplies. We'll keep pushing on."

"Glenn and I can go make a run now, try and scrounge up some gas," Maggie speaks up from her spot by Beth.

"No, we stay together," Glenn states, shaking his head. "Together is better. What happens if we get stranded without a car—I certainly don't want to know."

Glenn moves even closer to Nadia, rubbing his cardigan-covered arm against her bare one. He frowns and takes off his cardigan before wrapping it around her shoulders.

"Glenn—" Nadia shakes her head and goes to shrug it off but he shakes his head and pushes it further onto her shoulders. She rolls her eyes, giving him a small smile as she slips her arms into the armholes. "Thanks," she grunts.

"We're stranded now."

"I know it looks bad, we've all been through hell and worse, but at least we found each other. I wasn't sure... I really wasn't... but we did. We're together. We keep it that way," Rick announces as he looks at everyone. "We'll find shelter somewhere. There's gotta be a place."

"Rick, look around. Okay? There are walkers everywhere. They're migrating or something," Glenn points out.

"There's gotta be a place not just where we hole up, but that we fortify, hunker down, pull ourselves together, build a life for each other. I know it's out there. We just have to find it," Rick practically hisses out.

"Even if we do find a place and we think it's safe, we can never be sure," Nadia can't help but say, heart clenching. "For how long? Look what happened with the farm," she points out. "Right when I was making modifications, things went to hell." She feels like crying, but she's so exhausted that no tears escape.

Rick stares at Nadia for a second, swallowing thickly. "We'll make camp tonight over there." The group looks over to the big stone wall that he gestures to. "Get on the road at the break of day."

"Does this feel right to you?" Carol asks Daryl, her eyes wide with tears.

"What if walkers come through, or another group like Randall's?" Beth questions.

"You know I found Randall, right?" Daryl asks, and Rick and Nadia turn to him quickly. "He had turned, but he wasn't bit."

Nadia purses her lips, remembering Shane's words, 'I ran after him. I snapped his neck.' He had admitted what he did to Randall. Those same hands he snapped Randall's neck with had been around hers, trying to cut off the circulation. She shivers and pulls Glenn's cardigan even tighter around her.

"How's that possible?" Beth inquires, her blonde eyebrows pulling together.

"Rick, what the hell happened?" Lori asks her husband.

"Shane killed Randall. Just like he always wanted to," Nadia spits out, rolling her eyes.

Daryl turns to her, wondering what the hell happened between her, Rick, and Shane.

Lori frowns. "And then the herd got him?"

"We're all infected," Rick states after a few seconds of silence.

Everyone looks at him, confused. "What?"

"At the CDC, Jenner told me. Whatever it is, we all carry it," he says after a beat.

Nadia swallows around a lump in her throat, gazing down at the ground.

"And you never said anything?"

"Would it have made a difference?" Rick asks.

"You knew this whole time?" Glenn inquires in disbelief before he frowns and looks down at Nadia. "Did you know?"

Nadia looks at him sharply, shaking her head with wide eyes.

"How could I have known for sure? You saw how crazy that mo—" Rick is interrupted before he can even finish his sentence.

"That is not your call. Okay, when I found out about the walkers in the barn, I told, for the good of everyone," Glenn tells him, angrily pointing his finger at the man.

"Well, I thought it best that people didn't know."

At that, everyone just stares at him until Rick walks off. Before anyone else can say anything, Nadia follows after Rick, knowing how he must be feeling.

To take control as a leader is a hard thing to do. The decisions that Rick's had to make since he woke up from his coma have been hard. It can't be easy having your life turned upside down so quickly and then having to deal with all the apocalyptic bullshit on top of a dangerous secret. Nadia understands.

Rick stops a fair enough distance away from the others, back turned to Nadia. She chews on the inside of her cheek and gently rests a hand on his shoulder. "I understand, Rick. I'm on your side, remember?" She forces a grin but instantly lowers it and sighs. "I'm here if you need me."

Rick closes his eyes and hangs his head, breathing through his nose. "I'm fine. Go over there with the others."

Nadia sends him a small smile and a nod, even though he can't see her. She squeezes his shoulder once before moving to walk away.

"Wait, Nadia," Rick starts and turns around, grabbing her wrist, his eyes searching. "Are you alright? After..."He pauses, looks to the side, and swallows before turning back to her. "You know?"

Nadia licks her lips, shifting on her feet. "It is what it is." She shrugs and pulls out of his hold, making her way back to the group, ignoring the tremor in her hands and the way blood still coats them.

NADIA LIES ON her back, staring up at the sky, feeling exhausted but unable to rest.

A twig snaps and the group tenses, quickly sitting up. Daryl and Rick are closest to the woods and they look around before shrugging.

"Do something!" Carol hisses at Rick which honestly pisses Nadia off.

Everyone has been shitting on Rick after finding out that he kept one secret from them, and she is tired of it.

"I am doing something! I'm keeping this group together, alive. I've been doing that all along, no matter what. I didn't ask for this!" Rick snaps, tired, angry and scared. "I—I killed my best friend for you people, for Christ's sake!" He yells, a few people gasping and looking at him in disbelief. Nadia sits up quickly, eyes wide in disbelief, and Rick briefly meets her eyes before looking away, shoulders tense. "You saw what he was like, how he pushed me, pushed Nadia, how he compromised us, how he threatened us. He staged the whole Randall thing, led me out to put a bullet in my back. He gave me no choice. He was my friend, but he came after me."

Why is he covering for me? Nadia asks herself, her heart beating loudly in her ears.

"My hands are clean. Maybe you people are better off without me. Go ahead." Rick points towards the opening between the stone walls. "I say there's a place for us, but mayb—maybe it's just another pipe dream. Maybe... maybe I'm fooling myself again. Why don't you... Why don't you go and find out yourself? Send me a postcard. Go on, there's the door. You can do better? Let's see how far you get." Nobody takes a step forward. "No takers? Fine. But get one thing straight... you're staying. This isn't a democracy anymore."

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oh this one was a DOOZY. over 8,000 words <3

i really put nadia through the ringer, huh? poor girl... it's not gonna get much better from here on out though... many revelations and deaths and pain to go through...

i was honestly going to keep Rick being the one to kill shane but decided this could be the turning point for nadia. like it's 'the' defining moment for her to realize she can't keep the moral codes buffy/the watchers council put on slayers. it's time for her to break from the bubble, you know? now she's going to be even more unhinged especially with the governor

im going to write a few original chapter(s) before we get into season three to display how close these characters got in that eight/nine month period before the prison

are you guys ready for more slow burn between nadia and glenn hehehe i love making you guys suffer

anyways how are you guys enjoying this so far???