The morning of my fourth day at the house, I had dared to exit my cave again, mostly for food and coffee, the smell of it beckoning me from the safety of my room. I tried to slip around the boys unnoticed, but the moment I walked into the room, all eyes were on me. Heart stuttered, came to a stop, then picked up again, and I forced myself to act casual as I maneuvered around them, collecting bacon, eggs, and coffee.

In the midst of trying to balance everything and head back to my room, I was caught off guard by Landon. His face was a lit up with a smile and I squinted at him, wondering what he could possibly be so happy about at this time in the morning. There was not a damn good thing about mornings and if he thought so then I wanted to know what drugs he was on so I could get some too. I shifted foot to foot, waiting to see if he wanted something.

"So," he said and I grinded my teeth despite the pain that sliced through my jaw. If he would cut to the point, I could disappear in my room quicker. "The guys and I are going out with a couple of our friends tonight. Would you like to come with us? At least then you'd know some people at school, and who knows, you might even like them. Or us. It would be nice if you liked us too, because we can be good friends as well."

I tilted my head, cocking an eyebrow, the urge to smile becoming prevalent. "You're rambling," I told him, shifting the coffee mug in my hand as it had become too hot against my palm.

His cheeks flushed red and I bit my lip to keep from giggling. I hadn't talked much with Landon, but he seemed sweet and if I was going to give anyone the benefit of the doubt, it would have to be him or Mik. If he had sent Isaiah or Jase to ask me, it would have ended poorly, but his honest rambling had done something to sway my heart. His unfiltered thoughts on how he wanted me to have friends had warmth bubbling up inside of me and it was near impossible for me to say no now.

"Okay," I replied before he could start talking again. I liked hearing him ramble, but I also liked food and I would take a bite out of him if he didn't let me go eat. "I'll go with you guys tonight. What time?"

His deep blue eyes lit up with joy, causing my lips to quirk up some in response. I didn't know why, but I enjoyed putting that look on his face.

"Seven. We're leaving at seven. I'll send Mik to your room for you," he rushed out, rubbing the back of his neck. I brought my coffee mug up, hiding the smile that had formed and the giggle that nearly burst through.

"Great. Seven it is then." I recollected my food and shot him a small smile over my shoulder as I headed back down the hall to the refuge of my room. Once the door had swung shut, I sunk onto my bed and ducked my head down, letting out a slow sigh. "You, Onyx Blakely, are a true dumbass."

I pretended that the silence that reverberated through the room was an agreement to my statement.

***

My eyes darted between the time on my alarm clock and my reflection in the mirror. For a crazy person, I didn't look half bad. Landon hadn't given me much of a clue as to what we were doing, resulting in me just throwing something casual on, something I would wear when I went out with my old friends; a black Guns n Roses T-shirt, cut and tied off at the bottom, ripped dark wash jeans, and converse. My dark brown hair fell around my face in it's usual loose waves, ending beneath my shoulders. I accentuated my dark eyes with eyeliner, but hadn't gone full out with any makeup.

I could have passed for mildly pretty.

I'd gotten ready an hour earlier, giving myself time to obsess over my appearance and my decision to go out with friends at all, if they could even be considered my friends. After all, I hadn't been the warmest person when I arrived and most of my time had been spent hidden, typing out texts to my father and Annie, only to delete them and dwell on my past.

One question had been circling through my head all day though, resulting in my many near meltdowns: Did I even deserve friends?

It'd only been a few months since my family had died, and the guilt still haunted me, weighing me down in every aspect of life. No one would say it to my face or even insinuate it, but they all assumed I had something to do with it, but of course they couldn't just speak their mind on the matter. To the general public, I was a tragic little girl, forced to have to witness her family's murder, but unable to remember it. To those on my case file, I was a little freak who had to be lying.

The only one who hadn't treated me like that was Annie, and without her, I felt bereft. She'd guided me and supported me since the murders and kept me updated at every turn, unwilling to treat me like a foolish child or broken trauma victim like most would. I ran my fingers over my jeans, questioning if the boys would treat me the same if I gave them the chance.

"Nyx? Are you ready to go?"

My body jerked violently, not fond of the shock that had been delivered to it. I gripped at my night stand, glancing over at the doorway to see who was speaking to me. I hadn't even heard the doorway, but there was Mik, head tilted as he observed me. I expected his dark brown eyes to have judgement clouding them; normal people didn't react like that when you called their name. Except, the only emotion present on his features was sympathy.

Mik pitied me.

I swallow hard around the lump that had formed in my throat. He wasn't the only one to pity me, I did too. I captured the loose fabric at the end of my shirt, yanking at it to stop the thought that was about to invade my head. No such luck. My father and his lack of sympathy towards me filtered through the cracks of the walls I had put up to protect me from that pain.

I jolted forward, apparently only able to make violent and sudden movements at the moment and caught the door, forcing a smile. "Yeah," I breathed out, hoping I didn't sound as scared as I felt. "Let's go."

Mik's eyes scanned me over, as if silently questioning if I was alright, but an impassive look fell over my face, shutting him out. When it became apparent I wouldn't be giving him any information, he nodded then started down the hall. I slammed my door shut behind me, the sound of wood colliding together sending vibrations down my spine, but I ignored it, quickly following behind Mik.

In the kitchen, presumably waiting for Mik and I, were the rest of the boys. In the corner, once again in their own world, was Thorne and Sophia, heads ducked close together, conspiring together. Sophia was positioned in front of Thorne, as if in a protective manner, though I couldn't begin to imagine what she would be protecting him from.

"Are we all ready to go?" Cassius asked in his deep voice that left me shivering slightly. I wasn't used to these kinds of sensations that tended to sweep through me when around the boys; the scariest part was that I had barely been around them and hardly even interacted with them. Depending on how the night went, that could change, though.

"I believe so," Mik replied, though he was looking at me, as if waiting for me to confirm if I was ready or if I was about to bail on them last minute. With all eyes on me, my heart rate began to spike, but I nodded, providing a small smile.

Isaiah leant down, ruffling Sophia's hair, provoking a glare out of her. He grinned in response to her tiny little girl scowl and kissed her cheek, then squeezed Thorne's shoulder. "Be good for Jess and Ben," he said, his voice stern though his lips were beginning to turn up as he spoke. "Or else no candy for a week."

I wanted to stay back and watch the exchange, but Landon was ushering me out the door, leaving Isaiah behind to say whatever else he needed to say to the kids. I found it fascinating how he interacted with the kids when he gave off such a tough exterior. I glanced over at Mik's car, still precariously parked the way it had been when he had almost ran Landon and Mik over; I supposed that Landon had made sure no driving had gone on since the incident.

I tore my eyes away, following behind the guys as they want around the side of the house, where several vehicles were parked. My eyebrows shot up, startled by the sheer amount of cars they had. Jase rested a tentative hand on my elbow, nudging me towards a black SUV that looked like it would maybe fit all of us. I squinted at it, trying to see the amount of seats through the doors, but seeing as I lacked X-ray vision, it didn't work out for me.

Landon stepped around me and opened up the passenger door, gesturing for me to get in. I raised an eyebrow at him, silently questioning if he really wanted me, the smallest in the bunch, to sit in the front where there was the most leg space.

He rolled his eyes, obviously catching on to what I was thinking. "Get in the car, Nyx."

I pressed my fingers to my lips to keep from giggling and used the door to balance myself as I stepped inside the SUV. I ran my fingers over the leather seat before buckling myself and starting at the sound of the door slamming. I peeked through the tinted glass, only to grin at Mik and Jase waving at me. The back doors slammed as well, and Mik, Jase, and Isaiah appeared behind me. Landon sat in the very back row, having to climb over Mik to get back there. My eyes widened at the realization that they had stuck me up front with Cassius, the one I had talked to the least.

I mentally called them all traitors then wondered when Isaiah had joined us.

It took a few minutes, but Cassius joined us, no words uttered as he buckled in then maneuvered his way off the lawn and onto the gravel drive. Silence descended upon the car, and I bit my lip hard, knotting my fingers together; I despised silence though I had spent most of my time at the house in it. Silence made it easy for the dark thoughts to attack my head.

"How many other people will be joining us?" I asked, my voice quiet to avoid the desperate note that wanted to work it's away in there. If we didn't talk, anxious thoughts would consume me, and I would regret coming with them.

"Two," Jase answered, running his fingers through his hair, giving it an even more ruffled look. "Both girls. Maybe you can find yourself some girl friends out of them. Gossip pals, shopping buddies, you know that kind of thing."

I twisted in my seat to face him, my face blank. "Do you really pin me as that type of girl?"

He grinned in response. "No," he said, leaning back in his seat, his eyes scanning me over in a casual attempt at checking me out in the middle of a conversation. I resisted the very sudden and real urge to roll my eyes at him. "But neither are they, so you might get along well with them."

Isaiah snorted, as if randomly tuning into the conversation that was transpiring. He crossed his arms and shook his head, though I could tell if it was because he disapproved of Jase talking about his friends that way or he disagreed with the statement made about the girls.

"Morgan would rather gouge out her eyes then have a gossip session," Isaiah stated matter of factly. "And Paisley would drink bleach if it meant avoiding a full out shopping trip to the mall."

My curiosity was piqued; these truly sounded like girls I would get along with it.

Mik leaned forward, barely concealing the eagerness that was swimming in the depths of his eyes. "You think you'll like them, Nyx?"

My lips quirked up into a small smirk and I turned back around, facing the road. "Maybe."

***

I cracked my eyes open as the car came to a stop and immediately jerked away from the window. I regarded the place we had come to a stop at with disdain and weariness, pressing my back against the seat in an attempt to get away from it. If only they had told me, there would have been no way I would have agreed. I could handle a lot, but I couldn't handle this.

The woods glared back at me, the vast area of trees mocking the fear that it ignited in my chest. I tucked my fingers beneath my thighs to hide the fact that they were trembling.

"What are we doing here?" I managed to croak out, my nails scraping at the leather of the seats. I winced, feeling bad that I might damage the seats because of my anxiety about the woods.

"This is where we're hanging out," Cassius said, raising his eyebrows, as if this fact should have been obvious. He narrowed his eyes, observing me, and I stiffened, afraid that he could see through the facade I had quickly thrown up. "Is that okay?"

I swallowed hard and nodded vigorously. "Of course."

With confirmation from me, the boys all seemed to dive into a flurry of movement. Car doors slammed causing me to jump, laughter rang out, and bodies bumped into each other from what I could see. My car door opened and I jerked my head back so fast that it slammed against the seat. A groan escaped my lips, and I reached up to rub the back of my head.

"You good there?" Jase asked, a small smirk on his face.

The truth almost spilled out of my lips; that I was terrified, that I didn't want to go into this woods, I didn't want to prove how psychotic I was. Instead I forced my lips into a warm smile and nodded, then untangled myself from my seatbelt and jumped to the ground. I glanced around, and rather than seeing my worst fears, curiosity burned in me, wondering what made here the best place to hang out.

"And they call me the crazy one," I grumbled to myself, ruffling my hair where I had smacked my head against the seat. It still throbbed, but I bit down on my tongue to distract myself from that pain.

"Earth to Nyx!" Landon called to me from where he stood between two trees. The space between them was void of any overgrowth, and the grass and dirt was beaten down, as if walked upon a lot. It had to be the path way to wherever they were leading me; wherever they were leading could have been my very doom and demise for all I know. With these thoughts in mind, I smirked and followed behind them, swallowing down every ounce of fear that was possessing my body.

During the duration of the walk, I felt as if I was floating. I'd learnt long ago, about the time that I had come to terms with the fact I was a freak, that it was easier to disassociate myself from my fears and emotions. If I left them untouched, it was easier to pretend they didn't even exist. I concentrated on my shoe and the leaves beneath them crunching instead of the fact that I was actually in the woods.

When I heard the boys' footsteps come to a stop, I drew my eyes up to see where we had come to a stop to. My eyebrows shot up at the sight before me; a sparkling lake glistened beneath the fading sunlight, a cave's dark entrance gaped at me, and two girls lounging on a picnic table near the entrance of the cave. When the two girls caught sight of us, they both hopped off the picnic table to greet us.

The girl on the left was taller and curvier, as well as tanner. Her dark curls fell around her face, a little beneath her shoulders, the length of her hair about the same as mine. Her eyes were crystal blue the same color as the lake, observing us with amusement and curiosity. The way she regarded us made it seem as if she knew something we didn't and that she was internally laughing at us. Her curves were accentuated by the tight black tank top she was wearing and the skin tight jeans that could have been painted on her.

The girl to the right of her, so close that their arms were pressing together, was shorter, shorter than myself probably. She was pale, as if she didn't see the sunlight often and decorating her body like it was an art museum was the ink of tattoos. Her pastel blue hair was swept over her shoulders, falling to almost her elbows. Her hazel eyes scanned over us, an eyebrow raising when she noticed me; her face quickly transformed into one that was more welcoming, but it didn't do much to make her less intimidating. In comparison to her companion, she wore a plain white tank top with a jean jacket thrown over it and pink jean shorts.

"Paisley, Morgan," Cassius greeted them, his lips quirking up into the smallest of smirks. "How did I know that you would beat us here?"

"Possibly because you're late to everything, my boy," the dark haired girl purred though she was grinning. My heart shuttered at the fact that they taunted each other so easily, making it clear they were close. I was about to infiltrate a close friend group and I was about to do it blindly, barely knowing anything about any of them. "Who's your friend, babe?"

My lips twisted, uncertain on the fact if I should answer her or not. An arm knocked against my own and I glanced at Isaiah, who stood resolute by my side, silent but comforting. I beamed, glad to have someone to support me, even if we did have our disagreement at one point.

"That's Nyx," Mik introduced me, dropping a hand on my head and ruffling my hair. I winced as his hand bumped against the spot that I had hit earlier, but I didn't stop him. "You're in the presence of a goddess tonight, ladies."

The blue haired girl giggled and dropped into a curtsey, her hazel eyes regarding beneath her eyelashes. "Well," she cooed, her voice smoky and pleasant, something I wouldn't have expected. With her appearance, I had expected something more girly and high pitched, but I found that I liked her actual voice a lot better. "Then we'll have to treat her like one, won't we, Morgan?"

The dark haired girl shot me a razor sharp smile that should have scared me but instead sent thrills down my spine. "I guess so, Pais." She too ducked down into a curtsey, dark locks nearly obscuring her pretty face. "My regards, your majesty."

"Thought you two weren't into threesomes," Jase ruined the moment, cracking a joke that had me shooting Isaiah a confused look. Jase noticed and chuckled, jerking his chin towards Paisley and Morgan's intertwine fingers. "They're dating. Though it sure did seem like they were hitting on you for a second, yeah?"

I cleared my throat and croaked out, "No, not really. It seemed like they were trying to make a friend. Logically speaking, girls are more affectionate in friendships than boys. Ever heard the term 'no homo, bro' uttered in your school hallways?"

Everyone burst into laughter. and Morgan broke away from Paisley to throw an arm around me, pulling me into her side. Her cheek rested against my head as my own cheeks burned from embarrassment, even as Isaiah sent me a reassuring look.

"She's funny," Morgan declared and I could feel her smile against my head. "I like her. We're keeping her. She's ours now, suckers."

I was tense against Morgan's side but found myself relaxing slightly, my lips turning up as they argued over me. Maybe making friends was easier than I thought. 

a/n: it's unedited BUT it's super long, you get more of the boys, you get to meet Morgan and Paisley who are not only the cutest lesbian couple but the sassiest, what more could you ask for from this chapter?

Thoughts on the boys?

Thoughts on Morgan and Paisley, at least what you've seen of them so far?

Thoughts on Nyx?

okay okay, love y'all.

xoxo,

ry.