[Star]

I sit on my couch in my room. Theres nothing to do. I miss my friends and family but here I am stuck in California. Some people might think Im crazy because Cali is SO "great". They see celebrities, fame, fortune, excitement, fun and fashion. While all I see is drug addiction, segregation among communities, obsessions, earthquakes and landslides. Craig is not even on my mind anymore. Maybe I just replaced home sickness with a fake crush. He's great but not for me. I could really use some friends, him and Rayon to start.

[Chresantos]

I feel lost. Sometimes its hard to find myself. I dont know when this all started. Messing with so many girls, lying to my friends. I kissed Nicole. I dont know why I did it. How I use to feel is over. Besides I wouldnt want to be in Prod's position, the girl has issues. Maybe if he knew about everything that happened he could get over her.

I meet Prince at Prod's house and knock on the door. I dap him up walk inside on get straight to it.

"Prod we gotta talk"

"I know this is'nt gonna be good"

"You're right. Its about Nicole"

"I dont even wanna hear it"

"Well it's important."

he sighs and says "Aiite what is it?"

My throat becomes dry and I feel sick but quickly blurt out.

"Me and her Kissed"

he stares at me in shock

"Can you say that again"

"I was walking home and bumped into her and"

"Oh so y'all didn't kiss; you bumped into each other"

"No. You know we dont get along. she got all in my personal business and I responded and then she snapped. She started crying and complaining about how we use to be friends and started apologizing and I tried to calm her down"

"So you kissed her!"

I wish he would stop cutting me off

"No I hugged her and told her to stop crying. I ain want you thinking I was bullying her. She wouldn't stop and she was hitting me and I kissed her"

Prod is silent.So I continue to talk.

"I'm sorry. I don't like Nicole. It was a mistake."

"I'm not mad."

"Are you sure? You good?"

"Can you stay here. I just gotta go for a walk"

"Yeah sure"

He walks out the door with his head down. It looks like me and Prince babysitting.

"Where's Prod?" Prince asks coming out. the kitchen.

"We talked  and he said he needed to go for a walk. so we're babysitting I guess."

"Well if thats the case Then I gotta go"

"What! Where?"

"Somewhere."

"So you leaving me to babysit myself?"

"Stop doin dumb stuff and you wouldn't have to."

"Whatever."

"Peace"

[Shanell]

I lay in my dark room silent feeling the guilt all over again, allowing Jacob to believe he hurt me. I feel like I deserve to die. I Look into my bathroom reliving the gruesome scene; the blood, pills, razor and slight shrieks I let out as I sliced my arm echoing in my head.

My thoughts are interrupted by a knock on my door.

"What do you want"

"Are you decent?"

"Go away!"

"It's me Princeton"

"I know, go away"

"I'm coming in"

I throw my pillows over my head

I feel my bed sink in at my feet so I guess he sat down.

"How are you feeling"

"I'm ok. Why are you here?"

"Well your mother invited me over."

Ugh my mother of course

"Oh"

"So what are you doing today"

"Well gosh what do people usually do after they recently are released from the hospital" I say in an overly sarcastic tone.

He laughs "oh right."

We sit in total silence. Torture, irony all I wanted was him and now here he is, on my bed and I'm not enjoying a second of it.

I'm sad, confused and guilty. Sad because most likely hes only here because he thinks it's his fault I almost died.. confused to why a terrible girl like me has a beautiful sweet generous boy like Princeton and guilty because I sit here allowing him to believe that he harmed me. Why do good things happen to horrible people like me?

"Shanell"

He starts tapping me.I don't respond. I feel terrible tears fill my eyes as my guilt takes over. I try my best to sob silently but I sniffle a few times.Then I feel a hand rubbing my back.

"Shanell please don't cry."

The fact that he's so sweet but clueless makes me weep even more.

"Shanell what's wrong?" I feel him move closer to my side.

"I'm a terrible person." I mumble from under my pillows.

"No you're not"

I feel a slight tug as he removes my pillows from my head.

"Yes I am" I say face down into my bed

Then I feel his hands grab my stomach and he rolls me over.

[Prod]

I can't take it anymore. The lies and secrets. It hurts even more everytime. Roc and Nicole kissed. I'm not mad, depressed or calm. I feel empty. I don't know what to feel. I walk around for a while and reach the park and just sit under this tree. Soon after it begins to rain.

"You ok Prod?"

I know its Ray. Im not in the mood to talk.

"Are you gonna tell me why you sitting in the rain?"  he asks

I know he's notgoing to quit asking because he's a real friend so I decide to tell him.

"Roc kissed Nicole"

"He did what!"

"It's a long story but basically they kissed."

"How could he do that?"

"I don't know Ray."

"Did you talk to him or Nicole"

"Roc came and told me"

"How you feeling?"

"I don't know. I just feel like sitting in the rain"

"Ok. I'll sit here too then"

For a while its real quiet but then trouble comes.

"Hi you guys"

"Hey Star" I say

"Why are you two sitting in the rain?"

"Why aren't you?" Ray asks

"Is that an ivitation?" says Star

"Yes it is" Ray says

she rolls her eyes smiling and squats on the wet grass.

"So what are you guys doing exactly?"

"Sitting in silence" Ray replies

I havent said one word besides hey to her.

"Well whats wrong with you Craig" she asks

"Nothing just not in a talking mood"

"Is there anything I can do to cheer you up?"

"Not unless you're cu (cupid)...  Nothing I can think of"

I refrain myself from telling her my businsss.

"ok well I'm gonna head home you guys should too before you get sick. bye"

"Bye" I say

Ray nods his head up meaning see ya.

Shes right though so I get up and start heading home.

She seemed different like less flirty. She came said hi sat for a little bit. Then left.

I get home and Roc is gone. My mom's back home.

"Why on earth aee you soaking wet?!"

"Because it's wet outside"

"Well There i s no need for sarcasm"

"Mom its been a long day. I just wanna go to sleep"

"Ok theres pizza in the kitchen if you're hungry"

I take a shower then hop in bed. I just feel like being alone.

[Prince]

I come out of the kitchen and don't see Prod.

After a brief conversation Roc says Prod went for a walk. I havent seen Shanell today so I guess I can check on her. Roc questions where Im going and that's none of his business. If he didnt do dumb stuff he wouldnt be put in these situations. Thats my bro and I got his back but I've got my own problems to worry about too.

I make it to Shanell's house and knock on the door. Her mother opens it with a big smile on her face.

"You know where she is" she says not in her usual perky tone

"Well Hello to you too" i say with a little attitude.

"I'm sorry if I seem a bit cranky"

"No. It's fine. I'm going to go upstairs now.

I knock on the door.

"Go away" she says

shes mad at me I know. I don't blame her after what I've done . my attempts to start conversation are all turned down. Eventually I quit But I think she's crying.

"Shanell please don't cry."

She doesnt respond.

"Shanell what's wrong?" I ask as I move closer to her side.

"I'm a terrible person." She whimpers from under her pillows.

"No you're not" I demand

I move her pillows  away from her head.

"Yes I am" she says ploping her face onto her bed.

I roll her over so she would sit up. Shanell stares at her floor hair covering her face.

She thinks she's a terrible person. When really I am. I hurt that girl. She may not be the nicest person but she's still a human being and I almost took her life away.

"Shanell you're not a terrible person because everyone does something bad every once in a while nobody's perfect"

She looks at me I don't know what it is but the sadness in her eyes are beautiful. Is it wrong to think of someone looking their best at their worst.

What am I thinking.

"Shanell I hope you feel better but I have to go"

I give her a hug hesitantly get up and rush out her room. As I get to my car I can't find my keys. Great I get to go back in.

I knock on the door but there's no reply no answer nothing. So I literally just walked out. I can walk back in right. I open the door And call out "hello it's Princeton"

"Shanell, Mrs. Jensen?"

I look around and don't see Mrs. Jensen. I assume that Shanell is still crying her eyes out. So I walk down the hallway to her room and see my keys on the floor. I get an uneasy feeling as I bend over grabbing my keys. As I look in her door  to let her know I was there I cry out in shock.

"Shanell Stop!" I yell as I go running to her bedside restraining her arms.

i take the blade from her and in a panic dash for the door. I stop at my car. I then begin to calm down. I can't get over what I just wittnessed. Shanell was slicing up her arm. Dont get me wrong I love a punk rock type of chick. But thats a little too Emo for me.

As much as I would love to leave and pretend this never happened. The words her mother told me  a week ago echo in my head.

"Thank you. My daughter wouldn't be here if it weren't for you. I haven't seen any of her friends at all My daughter wouldn't be here if it weren't for you lately. And it seems like things are rough for her but you know how you teens are. No time to talk to adults about your problems. But seeing that she has a friend like you makes me believe that everything's alright"

" My daughter wouldn't be here if it weren't for you."

"seeing that she has a friend like you makes me believe that everything's alright"

I was compelled to go back. I actually would feel guilty if something happened to her because I could've prevented it if

I stayed. So I go back to check on her.

[Star]

After leaving Ray kinda caught up to me. I decided to do something nice for him.

"I was wondering can I come over tomorrow Ray?"

"Um. sure"

"Lol dont worry just as friends. you and prod are the only two I have."

He smiles "sure give me your number and I'll text you.my address."

Great. see you tomorrow" I say.

we split our seperate ways and I make it home ready to spend the day with my friend

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Here it is finally. Like Comment Share

and tell mee how do you guys feel about this whole Mindless Makeover. I know theres alot of controversy. some people happy and should be ashamed others sad some accepting. personally I feel witjout Prodigy therez no Mb. not because he was like the lead singer but because he was there from the begining. To me mb is 4 boys. Prod Roc Prince and Ray they all brought something special to the group and made it unique. and some fans sayin Prod was ugly and all kinda mean stuff should be ashamed because its so called fans like that who ccouldve played a major roll in him wanting yo leave. and Roc and Ray on IG throwin shade with the A1 since Day 1 pics cropping Prod out kinda harsh. big ups to prod because through it all he said keep supporting his bros and he still is so sweet and humble but best if wishes to MB with Elijah. I never did like kidz bop lol anyway. heres the update been writing for 2 days ugh.