"It's so strange, when you're down, and lying on the floor
How you rise, shake your head, get up and ask for more
Clear-headed and open-eyed, with nothing left untried"

* * *

River awoke to fingertips grazing her scalp gently. Her eyes fluttered open softly and a yawn slipped from her chapped lips. Ahead of her was a small fire crackling lowly in the fireplace. The room was dimly lit by a couple of lamps in the corner along with the fire and the smell of casserole was rich in the air. She titled her head to see Bill staring down at her, his eyes big and loving.

"Hey sleepyhead," he whispered, "feeling any better?"

River nodded and began to push herself up. Her legs curled beside her on the sofa and she rested gently against Bill, snuggling deeply into his embrace. "My head is still pounding a bit but I feel a lot better than before."

"That's somewhat good then. Dinner shouldn't be too long."

The pair rested in a comfortable silence, a sense of endearing bliss swarming them like a giant hug. It felt rather normal for the two to be curled up in a cozy living room with dinner cooking in the kitchen. It was strange yet amazing. Bill wasn't sure if River felt the same way but he certainly couldn't deny that he wanted it to always be like this.

He had become so invested in River Dawson. She had some sort of hold over him that was so enticing he couldn't get enough of her. He would do anything for her, for she was a goddess in his eyes. He would worship the ground beneath her feet. Everything about her seemed so addictive. He could get a high from her even from hearing her voice.

"Where is your next stop?" Bill asked remembering her travels.

River sighed. "I'm not sure. I... don't worry."

"Go on, love, you can talk to me," Bill told her, with a rub of her forearms.

"I don't know whether I should just go back to England for a bit then go travelling again."

"Is that what you want though? You don't seem very enthusiastic about going home-"

"But that's just it. It's not exactly home is it? If it was home then I would be searching would I?"

Bill thought for a moment, logically she would be correct but what if she wasn't? What if she had believed that she needed to find somewhere else in order to feel at home when she needn't at all? Could there be a possibility that she had tricked herself to believe that this is what she needed to do in life rather than it actually being the right path for her?

"Do you feel happy there? With your family?" He asked her.

She pondered for a moment. She loves her family. She loves them to the point where she would give her life for them and there was no denying the fact that she missed them dearly. "Of course I do. My family are amazing. I just want to find me and my place."

"Are you sure your place isn't with them? There? Perhaps you're overthinking and trying to force yourself to find home somewhere else when really it was there all along."

"All the more reason I should go back for a while."

"You don't have to go right away. You're more than welcome to stay here for a while, no pressure, it's all good if you don't want to. I understand and I won't force you-"

"Bill, thank you. I probably should go back to the hotel soon though, my friends are hopefully still there. I just hope they're both alive. Lottie packs a punch when she wants to and Alexis specialises in clawing people." River chuckled, moving her position as her bum became numb.

"Remind me never to get on your friends bad sides, haha. Can't have claw marks and a busted lip to cramp my dashingly handsome face."

"Even with claw marks you'd look great, Bill." River reaches over and pecked his lips. "Nothing could make you look bad, darling."

* * *

River returned to England with Alexis and Lottie by her side. Thankfully, they had all spoken and cleared the air, returning back to normal. The girls headed back to their own parents' houses once finishing up at the airport and River caught a taxi back to hers. They no longer lived together since that was their university house.

Being back was like opening a book that she had left on her bookshelf, except she had read it partly, slipped a bookmark into its pages and taken a break from it for a while. She opened the book up, took out her book mark in the shape of a key, and stepped right back in, just how she had left it. There were still shoes stacked by the door, coats hung on the hooks, paintings dressing the wall next to the stairs and the distinct aroma of her mother's sweet perfume.

"Oi, mam! Did you go outside?" Her brother shouted from upstairs. Man, she had missed his voice and his frequent use of 'oi' to gain everyone's attention when starting a conversation with them.

"No, love!"

"Then who did because I can hear da' still gossiping with Odin next door!"

Ah yes, her father and Odin Pearce, their next-door neighbour, were very good friends and would spend hours talking over the garden fence whilst they did some gardening. Mr Pearce was a little younger than Cillian Dawson but that didn't matter to them. Mr Pearce had two beautiful young girls named Aliya and Kyla along with a stepson Dean, whose mother was Mr Pearce's wife, Marissa. It was such as shame that Dean went off to boarding school, River loved babysitting him when he was younger and did miss the boy dearly. However, she did get somewhat used to it seeing as her own brother won a scholarship to that same boarding school when they were eleven.

"Why don't you get off your lazy backside and look then I'm in the middle of sorting dinner!"

River heard her brother sigh loudly and his bedroom door slam shut. She then saw his feet first as he thundered down the stairs pausing half-way down in shock. His mouth dropped open before curling into a wicked smirk. "Look what the cat dragged in, mam!" He called, hopping down the last few steps and embracing his twin sister in his most tightest hug.

"If it's another rat you can be the one to dispose of it, young man- River! Oh dear Jesus, Cillian! Cillian! Cillian quit your gossip and get your arse in here! Oh, my baby girl!" Her mother ripped River from her brother's arms and squeezed her tightly a tear slipping from her eyes. "Why didn't you say you were coming home?"

"It wasn't really planned, a spot of spontaneity mammy."

Mr Dawson hurried into the house a spade in hand but promptly dropped it upon seeing his daughter. "Sweet mother of Merlin, River!" Once again she was brought into a bone-crushing hug.

Merlin? Did her father just say Merlin? River must have been hearing things since Bill did say Merlin a lot it must have been her mind trailing back to him.

"Right, Eros, take your sister's bags and put them in her room, River go and get yourself comfortable dinner shouldn't be too long . Cillian, please tell me you've got the special cushions to hand because our baby deserves a proper welcome-"

"Mam, calm down, I'm not the queen. I've seen this place after Eros came home from school, an absolute pig-sty. Don't be daft and do anything special, I'm just glad to be home. Now, is that shepherds pie?"