Shane and I thought it best to help these people conserve their water.

Ha. Just kidding. That's not the only reason we showered together. Which was, you know, a marvelous first for us. Actually, it was just marvelous, period.

I'd forgotten what hot water felt like. I'd forgotten what it was like to watch layers of grime drain away, leaving you a real, live human being again. There was shaving and haircuts all around. We used the bar of soap until it was nothing but a sliver and the water started to run cold.

I stood looking out one of the windows while Shane got dressed, luxuriating in that warm afterglow that can only come after a really hot shower. You know. Or have you forgotten too?

Your skin is soft. Warm, like the heat from the water somehow soaked into your very pores and took up residence. Damp strands of hair curled around my face, and I smelled like soap.

Shane came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, kissing the side of my head as he inhaled deeply. With a small chuckle, he whispered, "You smell good."

I grinned, but didn't say anything. I didn't necessarily feel like there was anything for me to say. Shane sighed before lowering his head, his mouth against the crook of my neck as I continued watching the bustle of activity below us.

There were so many people here.

I jumped a little when he asked, "This is too weird right?"

With a sigh of relief, I relaxed minutely as I realized I wasn't just being unreasonable and insane here. It was vindicating to know that Shane felt the same way. I nodded and asked, "Why is this here? Why are they here?"

I meant it in a broader sense than where they were on a map. Shane knew that. I felt him shrug. "Luck is real, Raleigh. You might not think so, but it is. Luck's the only thing that determines who gets to walk away and who ends up six feet under. There's a very thin line of chance between dead and alive. They're just lucky is all."

"But why?" I pressed. "What makes them more lucky than us? We've..." I stopped and lowered my voice, so accustomed to everyone being too close to even risk saying something like this, that I just automatically whispered it. "It's been hard, Shane. Harder than I... Harder than we can take sometimes, it feels like. Felt like."

I sighed and yanked the curtains shut, suddenly angry. Why did these people deserve this little slice of Eden more than Kyle? Why did they deserve to have hot showers and a safe place to sleep more than Viktoria? Why should they be well fed when Cassidy went hungry three nights in a row?

Shane's arms tightened around me and he said, "Feels like."

"What?"

"Harder than we can stand, it feels like. Not felt like. It's still hard, Raleigh. Don't forget that. Don't ever forget that. You can't." The urgency in his voice surprised me a little, and I turned to where I was looking up at him, my hands resting on his chest.

I nodded, my eyebrows pulling together as I waited for him to say what he needed to say. Shane closed his eyes and reached past me to fling the curtain open again. He pointed, even though I couldn't look behind me, and said, "This isn't real life. Not anymore. And it feels like there's something wrong here."

"I know," I agreed. "It's weird having so many people around again."

Shane shook his head. "No. I mean, there's something not right here, Raleigh. I don't know what it is yet, but..." He sighed, the sound a little frustrated. "Hell, I don't freakin' know. It's just a feeling. I just... there's got to be something wrong. There's got to be a reason that this place isn't... like it is out there."

I don't know if I believed him. I'd thought that maybe he was just still in survivor mode. 

Like when soldiers would come back from Iraq or Afghanistan and swerve when they say a plastic bag on the road. Because to them, that still meant a bomb, even when they were back in America. It was just how he was conditioned and it would take a little while for him to ease off the fight-mode he seemed stuck in.

Hell, that we were all stuck in.

I knew that I didn't feel exactly the same way though. I was angry, sure. I was a little shocked by the fact that there were like thirty people here. I was uneasy because I didn't know how things worked here.

But I wasn't worried like Shane was. I didn't really feel like something was fundamentally wrong.

I placed my hand against his cheek and his eyes closed about halfway as my thumb rubbed against his cheekbone. Softly, I said, "I'm not forgetting anything, Shane. I swear I'm not. I don't think I could."

I stopped as a pained look crossed his face, and he opened his eyes. I rested my head against his chest, still speaking quietly. "But there's something wrong everywhere. This place seems to have a little bit less wrong with it than the rest of the world. And I know you don't think this place is safe, but honestly? No where is safe. And I'm tired of running. I just want to stay in the same place for a little while. And this place happens to have showers."

"Little while?" he asked, voice muffled by my hair.

I nodded. "Uh-huh. I just... can we give it a week? One week is all I'm asking. And if you still don't like it, we can talk to the others and haul ass out of here, okay?"

Shane didn't say anything at first, and all I could do was wait, which kind of drove me crazy... Or, you know, crazier.

Then he heaved out another breath, obviously still not happy before kissing the top of my head. I looked up at him, and he brought his mouth down to mine momentarily. Pulling away slightly, he said, "One week."

I smiled. "Just one."

He shook his head again and I stood on my toes, pressing my lips against his, my arms going around his neck. Shane muttered something that I couldn't make out before his hands went to my waist, lifting me up until my legs locked around his waist, his hands now pressing firmly into my back.

He all but fell onto the bed, and I laughed when the breath was knocked out of him. He growled, hands knotting into my hair as he kissed me.

I don't know what was worse. The knock, or how badly the knock startled the both of us.

We both looked over as the door opened to reveal Ashley of all people.

I had a sudden, horribly unpleasant reminder of what being embarrassed feels like. It had been a long time since I'd felt that particular emotion and, of all the emotions I haven't felt in far too long, I miss that one the least.

Ashley looked carefully toward the window and cleared her throat before she said, "If you two aren't, ah, busy... we'll be getting ready to eat here in a little while. I thought you might like to come downstairs and get to know some of the folks here."

My face definitely burning, I rolled off of Shane who, of course, looked cool as a cucumber. He sat up, still appearing completely unfazed and said, "We'll be down momentarily."

Ashley looked at me once before returning her gaze to Shane. With a gracious smile, she nodded and said, "Well, don't take too long. I think it's best if you rescue your poor brother from Lauren sooner rather than later."

Shane bolted to his feet and I jumped in front of him, keeping him from storming down the stairs immediately, sure he was taking that statement way too literally. With a forced laugh, I smiled at Ashley and said, "All right. We'll be there in a second."

Ashley frowned at us for a moment before nodding, closing the door again behind her as she went.

I turned to Shane, pressing my hands into his shoulders and said, "Shane, you said you'd give them a chance."

He looked down at me, before his eyes jumped back to the door, apparently still a little worried. "No. I said I'd give them a week."

I rolled my eyes and turned to go, Shane holding the door open for me as I passed. We went down the stairs, then out the front door, just to be greeted with what appeared to be an entire circus of people.

A circus of people who all wanted to meet us.

Shane's fingers threaded through mine, his hold firm and I got the message easily: Don't let them split us up.

Of course, that was easier said than done as we were suddenly engulfed in a storm of 'hellos' and 'nice to meet yous' and a whole slew of random questions.

I told about seven different people that I hadn't served, that the tags were Shane's. That we were married. That we hadn't been before. That we weren't planning on kids. That we weren't planning on kids no matter how safe this place looked, among other reasons.

And that's just a sample. There was more. Some things extremely personal, that I dodged violently. Some things seemed innocuous, others more important. They wanted to find out everything about us, and we wanted to give them nothing.

I told them that we'd moved around a lot since the start. I told them I didn't drink. I told them, no, none of our group was blood family. They seemed to confuse blood with family, like you could only be one if you had the other.

I was hugged by complete strangers. Told to make myself completely welcome. Told that they always had something to eat, so I should help myself tonight. That there was no need to be shy.

By the seventeenth or eighteenth person my mind felt numb.

They were all very nice.

And they all felt so fake.

The crowd around us had thinned and I took the chance to look around, my eyes lighting on Kyle.

He was sitting with Lauren, frowning as he talked to her, his arms folded, defensive.

I seized the opportunity, made a passable excuse and pulled Shane over to Kyle with me, who looked up at us in relief. Lauren grinned at me lazily and said, "I was wondering when you'd escape."

At the end of my rope, I snapped, "Is there anything you would like to ask me? Perhaps something way too fucking personal?"

Lauren's grin widened and she waited a moment before answering me, blowing her ever-present gum out in a truly impressive bubble that unfortunately didn't pop and cover her face. Yes, I understand that that seems immature and petty. Don't mistake me for someone who cares.

She laughed and said, "Yeah, I knew you were the firecracker." Sobering a little, she looked at the people gathered together in loose clumps, talking and laughing with each other and said, "They mean well. They really do. It's just they tried a little too hard to forget what's going on here." She stood up. "The only problem is that they succeeded."

My mouth opened slightly in surprise, but she didn't give me the chance to respond before she winked at Kyle. "I'll talk to you later, Navy."

Kyle grimaced but nodded once, the movement brisk and Lauren wandered off, her shotgun slung casually over her back.

"She's the only one I've seen carry," Shane muttered and Kyle snorted.

I raised an eyebrow and he explained, "She's Army. Getting processed out at Benning before it went to hell."

"You don't say?" I responded a little snidely, still bitchy from my complete stranger interrogation session.

Now it was Kyle's turn to raise an eyebrow, and I just waved a hand, looking around for the others. I found a rather harried looking Danielle talking to three older women, then spotted Cassidy talking to a handsome black man.

"Where are the kids?" I asked, still looking around.

Kyle stopped talking to Shane and said, "Haven't you seen them?"

My eyes went wide and my heart stopped. I shook my head minutely and I watched in some consternation as Kyle apparently had the same minor heart attack I was currently suffering from.

Shane turned sharply, eyes scanning the crowd. Then he turned back to us, his voice low. "Don't cause a panic. Don't let them know we're looking. Let Danny and Cas know, quietly. Spread out and find them."

Kyle and I both nodded and I turned, heading back to the house, trying to keep my steps relaxed, not rushing, not wanting to bring attention.

"It's Riley, isn't it?" a voice asked, a body appearing right in front of me.

I swallowed hard, trying to keep myself in check and said, "Raleigh, actually."

"What? Like the city?" The body resolved into a man only a little taller than me, and I realized that his voice actually sounded familiar.

He'd been one of the ones who had killed the zombie stuck on that line.

I focused in on him, frowning a little. He wasn't exceptionally tall and was more on the skinny side, with messy blond hair and hazel eyes. He smiled a little, still waiting for an answer. 

I responded somewhat shortly, "Yeah, like the city." I tried to step past him with a muttered, "Excuse me."

But he sidestepped, getting in my way again. He held out his hand and said, "I'm Cameron. Everyone calls me Cam."

I shook his hand quickly. "Nice to meet you, Cam."

Then tried to step around him. Again. He stopped me. Again. With an irritated sigh, I asked, "Do you need something, Cam, or would you mind if I went on my way?"

"Hey, hey, what's the rush? Where's the fire?" he laughed.

I bit my tongue, just trying to keep calm, desperately wanting to start yelling for the kids, needing to find them.

I came to the sudden conclusion that I hated friendly people.

Discomfort prickled over my skin, and I couldn't for the life of me stop what came out of my mouth next, even though it kind of defeated my own purpose. "Why'd you carve a D into the forehead of that zombie out there?"

I have no clue where that had come from. Maybe it was just because that particular question had been floating around in my brain since we'd seen it, but it was still a weird time to ask.

What interested me immensely however, was his reaction. His eyes went wide and he looked around quickly before putting a hand on my shoulder, moving me a little farther from the other people around us.

I shrugged his hand off and, his voice low, he asked, "What are you talking about?"

My eyes narrowed and I said, "We saw the body. I heard the other guy say your name. So what gives?"

Cam looked around again, and with a tight smile, said, "Look, I know you've been out there for a while but that's—"

"You say crazy, I will show you the exact definition of it, understand?" I snapped. "I know what I saw, so you can answer the question, or I can keep asking people until I get an answer."

I started to walk off but Cam stopped me again, his breath huffing out. "Okay, okay," he said, hands held up placatingly. "Just," he paused again and looked around before nodding his head toward a quieter area next to the house.

I looked back to find Cas looking directly at us, and felt relief flood through me as she nodded and signaled that she was watching. I followed Cam and waited as he checked again that we wouldn't be overheard. Speaking so quietly I almost couldn't hear him, he said, "Look, there's a handful of people who go out and clean the lines, reset them, whatever. We keep the dead ones from getting in too close."

Crossing my arms, I leaned against the white wall of the house and raised an eyebrow. "That doesn't answer my question. Why did you carve a letter into that thing's head?"

Cam made 'keep it down' gestures at me, looking around once more, and I started to get what Shane was saying about this place. Something was wrong. Or, at least, it wasn't right.

Cam licked his lips nervously, finally meeting my gaze. With a shrug that couldn't quite be passed off as nonchalant, he said, "We just needed to give people a reason to take the gig. So when we started out with the system, we set up a... I guess you could call it a reward system? The more zombies you killed and moved off the line, the more you could get. Extra food, an extra ration of soap or an extra shower. You could get first dibs on whatever the scavenger teams brought back in. Stuff like that."

I chewed nervously at my lip. "Let me guess? Ashley wasn't taking this on an honor system. You had to prove the number?"

"Ashley doesn't know we're still doing it," Cam said quickly. He scowled. "When Lauren got here, she convinced Ash that the system was rigged and would divide us. Make people mad at each other because the braver ones would always get more stuff."

I rolled my eyes. "Brave, huh?"

"You got something to say about it?" This second voice I also recognized, and I didn't like it the second time any more than I had the first as I turned to find Justin looking at us.

I smirked. "You go and pick fences. It's not the same as being in the middle of a bunch of them. It's not like out there."

Justin joined our little group and looked down at me, eyes calculating.

Belatedly, or maybe because it didn't matter, I realized that he was rather attractive with chocolatey brown hair and green eyes. I smiled when I saw his still split, swollen lip and asked, "How's that feeling?"

Justin rubbed ruefully at his mouth and shrugged, then looked at Cam. "What's all this about?"

"She saw me and Ryan deal with one of the zombies."

"So you just felt she deserved an explanation?" Justin asked, looking incredulous. "You don't even know her."

"She said she was gonna go ask Ash," Cam explained and I nodded. Mostly because it was true, but also because I was starting to feel a little trapped.

Justin raised an eyebrow before shrugging again and saying, "Whatever. Just make sure she keeps her mouth shut."

He turned and walked away. I worked furiously to keep my face absolutely still as Cam turned to me, an apologetic look on his face. He opened his mouth and I said, "You know what? I've heard enough. I'm just gonna... go. I'll see you around, Cam."

He opened his mouth once more and I waved a hand, the lie easy on my tongue. "I won't tell anyone what you told me."

He nodded, relieved, and let me go finally.

Cassidy caught my attention again and I mouthed 'later' at her.

She nodded and pointed across the yard to where Shane was speaking with Sacha, Vik and Sam, all of whom were looking at him very seriously.

I sighed, but the relief of seeing them wasn't enough to wipe away the sick feeling my conversation with Cam had given me.