Barbie

Malakas na bumubuhos ang ulan sa labas, matatalim din ang kidlat na gumuguhit sa madilim na kalangitan. Bumaba ako sa taxi na sinakyan ko matapos akong makapagbayad, narito ako ngayon sa condominium ng boyfriend kong mula pa kahapon ay hindi sumasagot sa mga text at tawag ko. I've been calling him nonstop, pero wala ni ha o ni ho akong naririnig mula sa kanya. Saglit akong alinlangan na buksan ang pinto nang makarating ako sa unit niya, hindi ito naka-lock.

Pumasok agad ko sa loob, patay ang lahat ng ilaw nang madatnan ko ito. Binuksan ko ang flashlight ng cellphone ko at hinanap ko ang switch ng mga ilawTumambad sa aking mga mata si Dos na nakahandusay sa sopa, may kalahating laman na bote ng whisky na nakalawit sa kamay nito.

"Babe?" I called softly; my voice laced with concern as I approached him. "What happened?"

Dos looked up, his eyes bloodshot and filled with anger. He took another swig from the bottle, his movements sluggish. "What happened?" he repeated bitterly, his words slurred. "You tell me, Barbie."

My brows furrowed brows; confusion etched all over my face. Sinubukan kong abutin ang bote para kunin sa kanya, pero inilayo niya iyon, nanlilisik ang kanyang mga mata nang tignan niya ako.

"Dos, you're drunk. Let's talk about this when you're sober."

"No!" Dos shouted, staggering to his feet. "We'll talk about it now. Tell me about Mikael."

My eyes widened in shock. "Si Mikael? 'Yong kinakapatid ko, hindi ba at napag-usapan na natin ito? Nakiusap sa akin si Ninong Lando, to show him around. Bago lang siya rito at— "

Dos laughed, a harsh, mocking sound. "Show him around? Is that what you call it? Phoemela told me everything. She said you're hooking up with him."

Napaatra ako dahil sa narinig, nanlalaki ang mga mata kong tinitigan siya kasabay no'n ang pag-away ng aking bibig. "What?"

"Don't lie to me!" bulyaw niya. "I've seen the pictures, Barbie. You with him, laughing, looking so... close. How could you do this to me?"

Nangingilid ang luha sa mga mata ko habang pilit ko na maging kalmado. "Dos, listen to me. Mikael is just a friend. He's practically family. I would never—"

"Save it," Dos spat, turning away from me, "I trusted you, Barbie. I... I loved you. And you threw it all away for some... some guy from New York."

My heart broke and it seems like that my world shattered into pieces upon hearing him. "D-Dos, please. You must believe me. There's nothing between Mikael and me. Phoemela is lying."

Umiling si Dos, tumigas ang ekspresyon. "Hindi ko na alam kung ano ang paniniwalaan ko. Pero sa ngayon, hindi ko pa kayang tingnan ka."

Desperation clawed at me as I took a step closer to him. "Dos, please. L-Lasing ka lang, lasing kalang kaya mo nasasabi 'yan. Let's just sit down and talk this through. Alam mo naman kung gaano kita kamahal."

"Mahal?" Ngumisi si Dos, naningkit ang mga mata."Is that what you call this? Deceit and betrayal? You know what, Barbie? Maybe Phoemela was right. Maybe I was just blind, too blind to see what was right in front of me. Masyado akong nabulag sa pagmamahal ko sa'yo'"

"Dos, stop it! Ano bang sinasabi mo? I never betrayed you. Please, you have to understand."

"Understand?" Dos shouted, his face contorting with rage. "Understand that the girl I gave my heart to is nothing but a liar and a cheater? No, Barbie. I'm done."

Inihagis niya sa dingding ang bote ng whisky, nabasag ang baso sa isang libong piraso, katulad ng mga pira-piraso ng pag-ibig namin na sa pakiwari ko, anytime soon ay magtatapos. Ang tunog ay umalingawngaw sa buong silid, ismo isang paalala ng pagbabadyang pagkawasak sa pagitan naming dalawa

Natigilan ako, ngunit patuloy lamang sa pagragasa ang mga luha sa mukha ko habang pinandilatan ako ni Dos sa huling pagkakataon bago lumubog pabalik sa sopa, natalo at nasira. Nakakabingi ang sumunod na katahimikan, na sinamahan lamang ng tuluy-tuloy na tambol ng ulan sa labas.

The silence stretched between us, heavy and oppressive. I wiped at my tears, trying to steady my trembling hands. I needed to understand the full extent of the damage Phoemela had caused. Huminga ako ng malalim, tumingin ako kay Dos, na ngayon ay nakatitig sa mga basag na salamin sa sahig.

"Dos," sambit ko pinipilit na kalmahin ang sarili, "what exactly did Phoemela tell you?"

Dos didn't look at mw, his jaw clenched as he spoke. "She said she saw you and Mikael together. That you were all over him. She said you were hooking up with him every chance you got. Very Barbie, huh?"

My heart sank. Ano raw? Hooking up with Mikael? According to whom? Phoemela?

"T-That's not tue... she's lying to you." My eyes searched his, desperate for some clarity amidst the chaos. "Kilala mo si Phoem, she's always had a way of twisting things. You should have talked to me before jumping to conclusions. Ako ang girlfriend mo."

"Talk to you?" sa wakas ay sinalubong ako ng tingin ni Dos, tumayo siya mula sa sofang kanyang kinauupuan. "Why should I have? The evidence was right there. And frankly, Barbie, this whole thing makes me question everything about you."

"What do you mean?" tanong kong muli. "Dos, linawin mo naman."

Tumigas ang ekspresyon ni Dos, at humakbang siya palapit sa akin, ang ekspresyon niya ay may halong pait at pagkadismaya. "Before we became a couple, you were just like that, right? You had a reputation. You weren't even a virgin when we met. Maybe I was just fooling myself thinking you could change."

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko, magkahalong sakit at hindi makapaniwala ang bumabalot sa mukha ko. "So, that's it?" Napalunok ako kasabay ng muling pagtulo ng mga luha sa mga mata ko. "You think that because of my past, I'm incapable of being faithful? Dos, you know I changed for you. I wanted to be better, to build something real with you."

Dos's eyes were cold and unfeeling. "Build something real? It's hard to build anything when the foundation is built on lies and deceit. I thought I knew you, Barbie, but maybe I didn't know you at all."

Nakakuyom ang aking mga kamay sa aking tagiliran, nanginginig ang aking boses ngunit pinilit kong patatagin "Is this really what you think of me? That I'm just some... some loose girl who can't be trusted?"

Dos's face was a mask of conflict, the anger mingling with a deep-seated pain that I couldn't quite articulate. "I don't know what to think anymore. It feels like everything I believed in was a lie."

The room fell into a heavy silence, punctuated only by the sound of the rain continuing its relentless drumbeat. I took a deep breath, trying to keep my composure as I faced the man, I still loved despite everything.

"Dos," mahinahon kong sambit sa kabila ng pagkakapos ng aking hininga, "if you can't believe in me, then maybe there's nothing left for us. But know this—I never wanted to hurt you. I only wanted to be with you."

Napaiwas ng tingin si Dos, ang bigat ng kanyang mga salita at ang kanyang mga kilos ay mabigat sa kanyang mga balikat. "Hindi ko alam kung ano ang sasabihin."

I reached out, desperation in my eyes. "Dos, please. We've been through so much together. Don't let a misunderstanding destroy what we have."

He backed away, shaking his head. "I need time to think. I need to figure out what's real and what's not."

Dahan-dahan akong tumango, nakikinita ko na ang susunod na mangyayari

He paused, looking at me, walang emosyon ang kanyang mukha. "I need space, Barbie. Just... leave me alone for now."

My heart shattered anew as I turned and walked towards the door. Lumingon ako sa huling pagkakataon, umaasang makakita ng kislap ng lalaking mahal ko, ngunit ang tanging nakita ko ay isang estranghero na natupok ng pagdududa. Isinara ko ang pinto sa likod ko nang makalabas ako, sa isang mahinang pag-click, ang wakas nito ay umaalingawngaw sa walang laman na silid.

Umasa ako na susundan niya ako, na magbabago ang isipan niya. Umasa ako na hahabulin niya ako at yayakapin mula sa likod ngunit bigo ako.

The rain continued to fall outside, each drop a reminder of the tears that had been shed, the love that had been tested, and the future that now seemed uncertain. In that moment, we both knew that something precious had been irrevocably lost.