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With Elkie gone, and Jeonghan in Jeju again, the only persons she can run to are Minhyun, Dongho and Jonghyun. She has nowhere else to go and she has no other choice but ask one of them to take her in for the night. She looks so stressed sitting infront of them, after telling them what happened.

“I’m sorry guys, but I really need your help right now. I can’t call my parents. I don’t want to burden them more cuz of this. they don’t have to know about this,” she says.

“I don’t know,” Jonghyun quickly replies. “You know I live on my own. You wouldn’t want to stay in my place for sure.”

“We have some visitors tonight and there’s no vacant room in the house so I’m sorry I can’t really offer you my place to stay,” Dongho politely refuses.

Minhyun hesitates, because of the incidents he did recently and their issue but he can’t just listen and do nothing for her so he speaks, “We have a spare room at home. You can use it if you like. You know I live with my mom and she’s there during the night.”

Minhyun is the person she trusts the most among all of them but with all that happened, she doesn’t think she should stay with him. But then where will she go? It’s a hard decision for her but she has no other choice. She takes the silence for a moment and finally tells them her decision.

“This is really only for tonight. Can I use that spare room Minhyun-ah?” she says.

It’s faintly evident, but Minhyun is pleased. “Yeah, sure. I’ll have it ready for you.”

“Thanks.”

“Why didn’t you tell us about this anyways? We could spare some cash for you if you only you told us earlier?” Jonghyun tells her.

“Yeah, and we can even help you find a cheaper place to stay. Maybe a bed space or something,” Dongho adds.

“I’m sorry. I just didn’t want to trouble you guys. But maybe I am doing that now,” she says upset.

“Come on, let’s all try to work it out somehow,” Minhyun suggests. “We’ll do what we can for you, Seunghee-ya.”

“Yeah, thanks,” she replies.

It’s really bothersome. And of course, she doesn’t want to burden them with her problems. So maybe she’ll try to find another part-time job for soon, even if her schedule can’t permit.

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Seunghee wants to call Jeonghan but holds back. He did say she can call him anytime. But she’s holding back since they might be really busy for the two-day performance. She can’t bother him at a time like this. But she really wants to ask for his help. If she can ask for Minhyun’s she thinks asking for his will be so much better. She just wish he goes home soon.

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It can’t be helped. So she has to stay the night with Minhyun at his home. It’s not that she’s still having doubts about him. They are doing okay and he’s acting like the old Minhyun again. And besides, he’s living with his mom so she doubts he will try anything inappropriate with her. And he promised her. She doesn’t think he’ll break his word one more time.

But ultimately, she can’t not ask about his mom as they enter his home. She just has to know where she is or what time she’s gonna be home.

“Where’s your mom? I should greet her,” she tells him.

He doesn’t answer and just walks in leading her. She follows him, but she’s slowly being uncertain about his mother’s whereabouts.

“Is your mom out? Did she buy anything?”

He still doesn’t answer and now he’s looking suspicious. They reach her room until he finally tells her the truth.  As they put her things down, he breaks in cold sweat saying, “Mom’s not home.”

“Your mother’s not home yet? What time does she come?”

“She’s not coming home tonight. She’s in Busan right now.”

“What?” she pauses where she stands. “You lied to me?” she’s angry, she can’t be with him alone in his house. Not after him showing all signs of obsession before. She can’t be with him alone till now cuz she still feels uncertainty with him.

“You don’t have anywhere else to stay, so relax and just stay the night,” he says trying to convince her.

But the fact that he lied, indicates something else. And she’s not aware what that might be. And even if he doesn’t, she’s just being cautious. “No, I’m going to find somewhere else to stay,” she strongly refutes and paces her way to the door.

“Seunghee-ya wait,” he grabs her arm and pulls her back. “I’m not- gonna do anything.” The way he looks at her is solemn and it does seem like he’s genuine about it.

But it still scares her a little, remembering that night in her room,that she glares at him and tries to get her arm back, “Let go Minhyun-ah.”

“I’m nicely offering you a place to stay.” He’s not letting go.

“Why did you have to lie to me then?” She’s starting to raise her voice.

“You won’t stay here if you knew mom’s not around? It’s because I want to be with you.”

“And you’re not being honest because of that? I thought we’re okay!”

“We are! It’s just that I’m not giving you up. I just can’t give you up just like that Seunghee-ya”

“Not giving up and lying are two different things. So let go of me now Minhyun-ah.”

“No, please stay.”

“Let go!” She finally screams at him.

With her strong refusal, it just makes him more upset and mad.

“I’m not letting go!”

She’s shocked. He just shouted at her and he’s obviously turning mad looking down on her. She’s slowly getting moreafraid of him. She should have known better, she shouldn’t have accepted his offer.

He promised himself not to disrespect her again. It took him weeks to walk up to her and apologize with the thought that he has eliminated all the demons hanging around him. But she finally rejected him and it’s taking a toll on his mind. And now what? He’s hurting her with his own hands. And he’s bound to hurt her even more in the moments to come.

“Why can’t you choose me?” he lowers his voice but his grip is still hard on her. “I’m all about you. I will give you all my time and attention. I won’t ever take you for granted. I’ll be the best boyfriend you could ever ask for. Just… say yes.” His face show all sincerity and humility by now. He’s simply begging her to return his feelings. Just now he understood, he won’t be able to accept the fact that she can’t love him back. That’s what’s making him go out of his usual way again.

But she can’t see all of that. The only thing popping out in her mind right now are those times he tried to assault her. It just left an impact she can’t forget.

“Just let me go. I’m gonna find somewhere else to stay,” she answers disregarding his questions, stammering and alarmed.

This makes him infuriated. She’s really not giving her a chance again. The future is looking grim to him, it makes him lose his cool. He grabs her shoulders tight and pushes her flat on the wall. The thought of her flocking over to Jeonghan makes him furious.

“I’m not handing you over that fucked up neighbor of yours Seunghee.”

He’s violent now and she’s freaked out. He’s hurting her in the process and even more, when he starts shoving his head to plant kisses on her lips.

“Stop!!”

She avoids well, but she can’t shield her skin from his aggression. He nips at her neck, showering it with his ravenous kisses. She uses all her might to push him away, but he doesn’t budge. He’s holding her cruelly, leaving marks on her wrists and arms. But what’s worse of them all are the kiss marks he’s embedding on her skin. It’s horrible, it’s something that will haunt her for a while.

But he does an even more terrifying thing. He circles her waist tight pulling her close, feeling the small of her back. This way, he finally gets a hold of her lips, and owns them like crazy. He even grabs the back of her neck to trap her in place. She can’t even move. His hard body emitting heat to her frail one and his hands holding her firmly in place. The only thing she can do is shed her tears cuz she doesn’t want any of it.

He even tries to be more physical with her by inserting his other hand under her shirt. She wiggles in fear as he touches her skin with his callous hand, still locking lips with her. He pulls her even closer to him eliminating the little gaps between them, pressing her body against his. He only wants to feel closer to her. He only wants to feel her warmth.

The taste of her lips makes him go wild and wants to savor it more so he opens his eyes to have a glimpse of her face. But what meetshis eyes are the damp, afraid, sickened eyes of the girl he loves. In a split second, he finally gets to his senses and realizes the crime he just done. Gradually, he pulls his mouth away and loosens his hold on her, all at the same time stepping away from her. He’s a monster, isn’t he? He can see it in her eyes.

Right after he does, she continues weeping, and eventually, hits him hard on the chest nonstop.

“I hate you… I hate you… how could you do this?... I hate you….” she says in between unstoppable tears and shaking hands, hitting him.

He’s shattered. How could he have done it? This time, for real. How could he have disrespected her to this point when he only wants to win her over? It’s totally unforgivable, he knows it himself. He’s the worst. He can’t be forgiven.

“Seunghee-ya…”

“I really can’t forgive you for doing this. I can’t be with you anymore,” she says, grabbing her bags, getting ready to go.

“Wait, Seunghee-ya I’m sorry. I was just mad. I couldn’t control myself. Seunghee-ya please…” he begs her.

“I can’t love you back!” she screams at his face.

This freezes him for a second. He knew all along. He knew but he just didn’t want to let go as long as she’s still free. He still wanted to grasp the little hope he has left. But right now, all of it has shattered.

She walks directly to the front door with him trailing her. He doesn’t want her to go, but he can’t risk touching her one more time. She might despise him for a lifetime if he does. She starts walking fast out of the house.

“Wait! Seunghee-ya I’m sorry!” he calls out to her but she doesn’t stop running away.

She can’t be with him anymore. Not in the band, not anywhere, not even in the same crowd of people. She’s had enough. She can’t forgive him the third time.

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Without anywhere else to stay, Seunghee goes back to her place, carrying all her luggage. She wanders around her old apartment wishing someone is there to help her. But Jeonghan’s room is still locked. What a pity that he has to be away exactly at this time she needs him most. She’s almost losing hope, if it comes down to it, she might sleep just outside the corridors for the night cuz she has nowhere else to go.

She picks up her phone and calls Elkie. Luckily, Elkie picks up fast.

“Elkie-ya,” she starts. “I don’t think I can go on with performing the band anymore.”

-‘What? What happened unnie?’-

“It’s just that a lot of things has happened with Minhyun-ah and-“

-‘What happened? What did he do to you?!’-

“Just-- I think we really need some time away from each other. He’s becoming possessive and obsessive and I don’t think I can handle being with him anymore.”

-‘Are you okay unnie?’-

“I am, I just- I just can’t be with Minhyun like this any longer.”

-‘I wish I’m there to help you unnie. But alright, if that’s what you want. I respect your decision.’-

“Thank you.”

She puts the phone down and sees a person walking by approaching her. It’s as if she’s seeing an angel sent by heaven. All her worries slowly fade as she sees him. Jeonghan is finally here when she really needs him.

“Seunghee-ya?” he asks, “What are you doing out here? And what--” He’s confused as to why she has all her things out with her.

She’s almost teary eyed looking up at him and replies stuttering, “You’re here now? I thought you’re in Jeju?”

“I felt like I needed to go home for some reason, so I’m here,” he answers and stares at her. He can see she’s bothered and upset, but why is she camping out here?“Hey, why are you outside? Is there any problem?” Now it finally dawns to him. Maybe she’s the one tenant behind in pay.

This is her chance to ask him. She has no other choice. She has to take the gamble again. “Jeonghan-ah, can I stay with you for tonight?”

Hearing what she has said, he stares at her wide-eyed in disbelief.

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TO BE CONTINUED…

Published: 12/29/17