Chapter 4 | Step Out From The Inside
With my hands still clammy and practically shaking, I crawl my way to the register to check out. I still can't believe I just bashed my cart into Jax Owens, of all people. What am I supposed to say tomorrow at the meet-and-greet? "Hi Jax! Remember the stupid broad that just about broke your ankle? Yeah, that was me." Cringing at the thought, I shake my head when the cashier pulls my attention back to reality.
"Ma'am?" the young, male cashier asks, almost as if he's said it a few times already.
I quickly look up to see him staring at me expectantly. "I'm so sorry. What was that?" I stammer, turning slightly to see the growing line behind me.
He blinks a few times with annoyance before replying, "I said your total is $298.49."
"Oh!" I exclaim, rummaging through my wallet for my debit card and finally hand it to the cashier.
After I've successfully checked out, I wait by the bathrooms for Ana and Nora to complete their shopping while my eyes scan around the store, hoping to see Jax one more time before leaving.
"Hey! That was quick. Did you get everything you needed?" Nora approaches me, riding on her cart. Literally riding on it with her feet where the soda goes.
"Yeah, everything was pretty easy to find here. We should take pictures and show it to our Walmart," I joke.
"Yeah, right, then they'd have to actually stock the shelves. They'd never do that," she snickers while rolling her eyes.
Stealing a glance down into Nora's cart, my eyes widen in horror. "What the hell do we need olives for?" I ask disapprovingly, pointing to the jar in one of her open bags.
"Don't worry about it! It's a surprise," she says enthusiastically, leaning down to close the rest of the bags.
"Well, unless they're for martinis, count me out," I reply jokingly, scrunching up my nose to show my distaste.
"Oh, you're one to talk! You would eat sautéed mushrooms for a snack if you could."
"Sautéed mushrooms are fantastic. Don't be a hater," Ana says, walking toward us with her cart filled to the brim.
Nora's mouth falls open with a slight smile as she gapes at us. "She started it! She's hating on my olives."
"Alright, alright, no teasing people for their gross food obsessions," I joke. "Let's get these groceries into a fridge."
The three of us head toward the exit before an announcement blares through the store.
"Attention shoppers, can we please have Allie Windsor report to the customer service desk? Again, Allie Windsor to the customer service desk," the intercom booms.
Ana and Nora look at me full of questioning glances, questions I can't even answer, I'm sure.
"What did you do?" Ana chuckles, exchanging glances with Nora.
Without answering her, I leave my cart with them as I speed walk toward the desk.
What did I do? Oh God, I hope I didn't hurt him...
I slowly approach an associate behind the counter, an older woman with long gray hair wearing an expression suggesting she'd rather be anywhere else but here.
"Hi, I'm Allie Windsor," I say, trying to mask my nervousness. "I was called over the intercom."
"A gentleman informed us you forgot one of your bags," she says, completely disinterested.
Before I can protest that I didn't forget anything, she turns around and grabs a single plastic bag off the counter behind her, and hands it to me. My eyebrows knit together in confusion as I turn the bag around to see a receipt taped on the back of it with handwriting scrawled across it.
I thought it was fair if I try your recommendation that you should try mine. — The random guy you pummeled with your trolley.
A smile slowly creeps past my lips as butterflies swarm the pit of my stomach before hearing footsteps approach from behind me.
"So, what did you forget?" Ana asks curiously.
I quickly tear the receipt off the bag and shove it into my pocket before turning around to face her. "Oh, just some wine," I say with a shrug, trying to hide my still growing smile.
Ana lets out a loud, dramatic gasp with her hand clutching her chest. "You? Forget your wine?"
"Oh, can it Martha. Are you guys ready for mac and cheese?" I quickly change the subject, still unsure if I will tell them who the wine is from. I really don't want the teasing that will come along with it. It's only going to build my ego, and then it'll just crash and burn, anyway. Plus, there was no flirting on either end to get excited about. We simply traded wine recommendations and went about our day. End of story, nothing to tell.
When we return to the house, confidence radiates through me as I hold my head high and hum along to the song that's been replaying in my mind for the last twenty minutes. This sudden confidence boost has me questioning if it's the simple fact I got to take a quick nap earlier, the fact I'm finally on vacation, or that I ran into Jax Owens today. It could be a mix of all of them combined, but either way, I'm cherishing it. I feel almost too cheerful, like nothing could bring down my mood and I'm just... happy. It's been a long time since I could confidently say that.
I eagerly stroll into the kitchen, my arms overloaded while the plastic bags dig into my forearms.
"What's got you in such a good mood?" Nora asks, carrying in three more bags of groceries as she places them on the island.
Unloading the wine first, I start placing the bottles into the fridge before answering her. "I'm just happy to be on vacation. It feels nice already," I admit. "I love my girls to pieces, but I needed a break."
"I definitely understand that. I love my girls too, but God, does it feel nice to be able to go sit down for a second without one of them asking for a snack," Nora chuckles while unbagging her frozen pizza.
"How are Salem and Emma doing, by the way?" I ask, looking over my shoulder at her.
She shrugs, her gaze falling to the floor. "They're good. Emma is getting to the age where she's asking about her dad and it's been hard trying to find a reason to tell her why he's not around."
I nod in understanding and turn around to face her. "It's not your fault he left, Nora. You know that, right?" I ask her cautiously. I can't imagine how she feels, although they're all better off without Michael in their lives. All that guy cared about was his rundown cars and how to hide cheating on her on the days that ended with a "y."
"Oh, I know that. It just sucks because it's not the girls faults, you know? They deserve a mom and a dad," she admits, her gaze still fixed on the hardwood floor.
"Yeah, but they have one hell of a supermom. You've done a beautiful job raising those girls," I smile at her, trying to boost her ego a bit.
She chuckles before finally raising her eyes to mine. "Exactly. They have me, my mom, and a pretty great aunt," she says with a wink before turning back to the bags of groceries.
I chuckle at her and turn around to grab the last bag of wine to put away. The one Jax Owens left for me at the customer service desk. I slowly open it to reveal a bottle of red Merlot, my heart quickening as I grasp the neck of the bottle and marvel at it with a small smile.
"Since when do you drink red wine?" Nora asks suspiciously, eyeing the bottle like it's poison.
Not answering her right away, I place it inside the refrigerator carefully and turn around to see Ana waltzing in with a few more bags.
"What's up?" Ana stops midstep to ask Nora.
Nora points to me, her eyebrows furrowing with suspicion. "She bought red wine, and she's really happy. The Allie I know hates red wine."
After placing the bags on the kitchen table, Ana crosses her arms across her chest as she looks at me expectantly with a smirk. I should have known I can't hide anything from these two. They always know something is up, even if I don't say anything. But what exactly am I supposed to say? They're going to want the "juicy details" and there are none to share.
I roll my eyes before bunching the plastic bags together into a large ball. "So, I can't try new wine and be in a good mood?" I ask with a shrug.
"No," they deadpan in unison, both standing in the same stance. Staring at me until I spill my guts.
"Okay," I say, trying to bite back my growing smile. "I might have ran into a guy in the wine aisle. Quite literally."
That might not be all of it, but I'm not revealing the rest of it until I know they won't make a huge deal out of it. I'm already mortified that the poor guys ankle was a victim of cart abuse, but I don't want them making jokes about it since my anxiety will just go through the roof worse than it already is.
"A guy?" they exclaim in unison again.
"Was he hot?" Nora asks, batting her eyelashes playfully.
My cheeks burn at the comment, thinking back to Jax standing in that aisle. His tall, muscular build, his sleeve of tattoos on his right arm, sparkling blue eyes I'd love to get lost in for a while, and let's not forget that accent. I could listen to him talk forever with that accent.
"I'll take that as a yes," Ana says, wiggling her eyebrows.
I wave my hands in front of me to signal them to stop. "Can we talk more about it while we eat? I promise I'll tell you guys more, but I'm starving," I admit, my stomach growling in agreeance.
"Alright, fine. But we better get all the details, because guys don't just buy women wine and leave it at the customer service desk. There's definitely more to it," Nora says, pointing her finger at me.
Except that is all it was, so they'll be pretty disappointed with this story.
When we arrive at Faneuil Hall, the marketplace is bustling with tourists scattered everywhere taking group pictures in front of buildings, and a musician singing while playing guitar on the sidewalk with bystanders watching and throwing money into his open guitar case.
After fighting a herd of people in the line, we finally receive our order and bring it to the only empty table available.
"They come in Chinese takeout containers? Why is that adorable?" Ana chuckles, turning the box in her hands to look at it.
I open my container as the smell of the mac and cheese invades my nostrils, activating my salivary glands as I close my eyes to breathe more in. The breadcrumbs on top make the satisfying crunch sound when I stab my fork into it before shoveling the first bite into my mouth excitedly.
"Oh my God," I just about moan, covering my mouth with my hand. "This is hands down the best I've ever had."
"That's what she said," Ana blurts, slapping the table.
Nora looks at Ana while shaking her head, chuckling quietly. "What time do we have to be there tomorrow?"
"We should plan to be there around four. The doors open around five, but I don't want to stand in one spot for hours just building anxiety," I answer, shuddering at the thought while grabbing my drink.
"Have you decided what you'll say when you meet them?" Nora inquires while taking a sip of her soda.
Hearing her question, I cough midsip as the carbonation fizzes in my throat, causing my eyes to water as anxiety creeps up my spine. What am I going to say tomorrow?
Ana and Nora exchange confused glances before glaring at me.
"Are you okay?" Nora asks while handing me a napkin.
I accept the napkin and wipe my mouth dry. "Yeah, I'm good."
"Alright, spill it," Ana says before taking another bite of her buffalo mac and cheese.
"You know how you guys were asking about the guy at the store?" I ask, playing with the hem of my shirt.
They both nod in response, staring at me and waiting for me to continue.
"Okay, well, when Ana texted me asking me for the wine she wanted, my attention was on my phone rather than where I was walking and..." I pause, and take a sip of my drink to wet my drying lips. "Turns out I rammed my cart into Jax Owens' ankle."
They exchange glances at each other as their mouths slowly grow into wide grins before returning their attention to me.
"Jax Owens?" Nora asks for clarity. "Are you sure it was him and not someone that looks like him?"
I scoff slightly and shake my head while pushing the macaroni and cheese around with my fork. This is partially why I didn't want to say anything in the first place. Trust me, I know how it sounds. It sounds pretty made up, but it happened.
Ana gently places her utensil down on the table before giving me an understanding look. She knows I wouldn't mix him up with anybody, and I wouldn't openly say I ran into him unless it did in fact happen.
"Tell us about it," she says with a smile, giving me her undivided attention.
After giving them the rundown on what happened in the wine aisle, Ana's smile has grown as she shakes her head slightly.
"Why are you shaking your head?" I ask through a grin.
"That's just really cool that he went out of his way to buy you a bottle of wine," she gushes with a shrug. "I would die if Patrick Stump bought me alcohol. I don't think I would ever open it."
"Oh, I'm opening it," I chuckle. "First thing I'm doing when we get back is jumping into that jacuzzi for a while with some wine."
"Your room has a jacuzzi?" Nora exclaims. "My room just has a normal shower in it. So don't get scared if you find me in your bathroom."
"As long as you give me a warning, it's fair game," I shrug while standing from my seat to clear my area. "Let's head back. All this talk about the jacuzzi makes me want to get in it more."
Returning to the rental house proved to be easier than driving around earlier in the day. People didn't seem as angry once the sun started to go down. It must be a rule in Massachusetts that you have to not be a morning person and drive like a total asshole, hence why their nicknames are "Massholes."
While the jacuzzi fills, I hurry down the stairs with my silk robe tightly wrapped around my body while rushing toward the fridge. Ripping open the doors, I rummage through in search of the cheese from earlier. What's better than cheese and wine while relaxing in scalding hot water?
After finding the goldmine, I pull out the pink Moscato when my eyes lock with the bottle of red Merlot sitting on the shelf. I'm hesitant about trying it, as every bottle of red wine I've ever tried ended with my tongue feeling like I licked something fuzzy. Deciding against it, I start to close the fridge doors and slowly turn around.
"Oh, just try it," Ana says from behind me, startling me as I let out a loud gasp.
Clutching my chest, my eyes widen at my best friend standing there with a smug look. "Ana, what the hell!"
The large kitchen fills with her laughter as she steps closer to the fridge and pulls out the Merlot. "He bought it for you to try, not to store it. Plus, you need to learn to try things before knocking them," she says, handing me the bottle by the neck. "Every brand has a different taste, maybe you'll like this one."
Taking the bottle from her hands, I cradle it in my hands and marvel at it with a hint of a smile. She's right, though I have to admit. I need to step out of my comfort zone and try new things once in a while. If I don't try new things, how will I know what I actually like and what I think I don't like?
After filling two glasses and assembling a plate of cheese, I carefully balance them on a tray and ascend the stairs. As soon as I return to the bathroom, I allow my robe to slide off my body and climb into the bubbling water that calls my name. I close my eyes and lean my back against the jets as they massage along my back, down to my legs—pulling me deeper into a sense of tranquility.
Picking up the Merlot from the tray, I study it and pray it won't taste like the previous wines I've tried that tasted what I would think paint thinner tastes like. I bring it carefully to my nose and breathe in slowly as the smell of dehydrated grapes fills my nostrils.
"Well, it's now or never," I murmur to myself and take a slow, hesitant sip. The flavors splash against my tongue, a mix between grape juice that's fermented and an earthy dry flavor. Almost like grape juice with a bad attitude.
"Alright," I sigh, holding the glass in front of me. "The man has good taste. I'll give him that."
Setting the glass back down, I sink my body deeper into the water, lean my head against the rolled towel under my neck, and close my eyes. Tomorrow is finally the day I get to see Bottom Line perform after being a fan for years, and there's one question that sits in the back of my mind.
Will he remember me?
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