𝐉𝐚𝐱 𝐏𝐎𝐕

The journey to the hospital feels like a blur, with the moments between getting into the car and rushing through the parking garage blending together in a haze of panic. I was operating on autopilot, my sole focus being to reach Allie and ensure that she was okay. She has to be okay.

As I emerge from the parking garage, I break into a sprint along the sidewalk, the sky menacingly rumbling overhead. It's as if Mother Nature herself is echoing our frustration. The rain lashes at me with icy force, and puddles gather at my feet, splashing with every stride as I rush towards the entrance of the emergency room. I yank the doors open and dart inside, where I find Ana sitting alone, her arms wrapped tightly around her chest.

I walk purposefully over to her, take the open seat next to her, and gently lay my hand on her back.

"Hey," I greet quietly. "Any word yet?"

Tears spill down her cheeks as she meets my gaze. "They rushed her into the operating room," she managed to say, her voice quivering as she wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.

The very idea of Allie being vulnerable on an operating table makes my chest constrict with worry. Her life hangs in the balance, and I can't shake the fear. She's the mother of two young daughters who rely on her, and she has so much life left to live. She spends every day helping others, so why must she be the one to endure this suffering?

"Where is Nora? Is she okay?" I ask, concerned she may be hurt as well.

"She's doing okay. She's wearing a sling and has some minor bumps and bruises. Oh, and found out she's pregnant," she says pointedly. "She's currently sitting in the hallway, she won't come sit out here. She feels responsible for all of this."

Nora's pregnant?

She must feel so stressed out finding that out after being in a car accident and her best friend is in surgery. The fact that the baby is unharmed after such a harrowing accident, as per Gareth's description, is truly remarkable. This gives me hope that the accident may not have been as severe as initially thought.

I gently place my hand on Ana's back as I reassure her, "I'm going to go check on Nora. If you need anything, come find me, alright?"

After receiving a nod of understanding, I rise from my seat and begin my search to find Nora. I turn into the first hallway I encounter, a seemingly endless, pristine corridor permeated with the sharp scent of bleach and sanitizer. The only audible noise is the shuffling of footsteps and hushed conversations from those that pass by me.

As a child, hospitals always unsettled me due to our frequent visits to retrieve my father from his altercations at bars. Our Saturdays growing up were often spent in the waiting rooms of the emergency departments, or at police stations trying to securing his release.

As I turn the corner of the hallway, I spot Nora huddled in the corner, her knees are drawn up to her chest, and her face is buried in her arms, heaving with silent sobs. I stop in my tracks and take in a deep, calming breath, steeling myself to provide the comfort she's going to need. Nora's trauma is palpable; she's been through a horrible accident and had to leave her best friend behind. With gentle steps, I approach her, crouching down and extending a soft hand to rest on her quivering shoulder, careful not to startle her further.

"Hey, Nora," I say with a low calming voice.

She slowly gazes up, her eyes meeting mine. Her quivering lips and tears flow once again as she lets out a wail. "Oh my God, Jax, I am so sorry."

I lean in close, wrapping my arms around her trembling shoulders. A single tear escapes my eye as I gently whisper into her ear, "Nora, you have nothing to apologize for. You did nothing wrong, do you hear me?"

"I was the one behind the wheel, so I should have noticed that car approaching," she begins to say before I interrupt her.

"No, you're not going to blame yourself for other people's actions, Nora," I reassure her, continuing to wrap my arms around her to provide comfort. "The other person is to blame for driving carelessly. They drove through their red light, you did everything you could."

"I just don't know what I'm going to do if she doesn't make it, Jax. She doesn't deserve this. But I don't know how she's going to make it. There was so much blood coming from her stomach," she says, her voice breaking as she starts to cry again.

My stomach churns at the visual that paints in my mind as tears fall from my eyes, desperately wanting to know if she's okay. It hasn't been long since we've been here so I can imagine we have a while before we will know anything.

As Nora sniffles against my shoulder, she eventually sits up and locks eyes with me, her teary gaze attempting to form a small smile. "I can see how much you love her, Jax," she says softly, wiping away a tear. "Just make sure to tell her that when she wakes up. You two are too precious to let anything come between you," she says as she rises slowly from the floor, still trembling with every breath.

I offer her a faint smile as I gaze up from the floor, watching her walk down the hallway and back into the waiting room, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I remain seated for a moment, drawing in a deep breath before pressing my hands over my eyes, desperately urging myself to rouse from this torturous nightmare as I stand from my crouched position.

After I collect myself and force back my emotions, I take slow, deliberate steps down the corridor to join Ana and Nora in patiently awaiting any news about Allie. It feels surreal, as if I'm just mechanically moving through the situation. It all just seems like a cruel, twisted joke.

As I turn the corner, my heart sinks at the sight of the girls huddled before a doctor, their faces flushed with emotion. Tears cascade down their cheeks as Nora buries her head in her hands, while Ana comforts her by rubbing her back as they listen. My stomach churns with worry, fearing that something terrible may have happened to Allie during the operation. Despite my anxiety, I remind myself that only thirty minutes has passed since she went in.

A sense of determination surges through me as I finally gather the courage to propel myself forward, my feet moving swiftly against the cool tiled floor. Just before I reach them, the doctor gently pats Nora on the shoulder and gives Ana a silent nod as he quickly disappears through the double doors.

"Is everything okay? What did he say?" I ask them frantically.

"They said it might be a while longer, but they aren't allowed to tell us much since we're not family members," Ana says with a sniffle as she rolls her eyes.

The sense of anticipation becomes more intense as time passes. I lower myself into the seat beside her, feeling the stiff plastic crinkle and compress beneath me. As I lean back, I absentmindedly twirl the zipper of my leather jacket between my fingers, feeling the smoothness and coolness of the metal against my skin. My phone lets out a series of vibrations from my pocket as I quickly take it out to check the incoming message.

James: Any update?

Me: Not yet, she's in surgery right now.

James: Jesus... Alright, bud just keep us updated. We're thinking of you guys.

I carefully tuck the phone back into my pocket, feeling the weight of it against my leg. As I sit, my fingers find their way to the worn plastic arm of the chair, idly tracing the fraying edges as my mind pulls in a million directions. I'm searching for something to keep my mind busy and avoid jumping to the worst conclusions. The last thing we need right now is any of us thinking about the worst possible outcome when we should continue to remain hopeful.

"I'm going to take a short walk, do you ladies need anything?" I ask Ana and Nora with a hushed tone.

They both shake their heads as Ana looks up at me and softly says, "go ahead, Jax. We'll text you if they tell us anything."

"Thank you, Ana," I say with a small smile as I rise from my seat.

I saunter down the hallway where Nora and I had our conversation. Tucking my hands into my pockets, I keep my gaze fixed on the floor. Upon reaching the end of the hallway, I am greeted with a sign directing the way to the gift shop. Without thinking twice, I turn into the door, triggering the delicate chime of the bell above the entrance, announcing my presence within the tranquil space.

Stepping into the store, a forced smile pulls at my lips as I acknowledge the clerk behind the counter. I take a few steps in and wander through the various aisles adorned with an array of sympathy cards, beautiful bouquets, children's toys, and even jewelry. I stop short to browse the different options they have available for jewelry as I run my hands over the rings, feeling the cold metal against my skin until my eyes catch onto a bracelet behind everything. It's sitting there tucked away, unnoticed, and collecting dust, but it's radiant. It reminds me of Allie in the way that she closes herself off so well but when she lets you see the real her, she absolutely blows your mind.

I carefully grasp the smooth velvet box and cradle it in my palm, gently brushing off the protective plastic covering to get a better look at the intricate design. The bracelet itself is crafted from sterling silver, featuring a dainty chain and adorned with a delicate treble clef charm. A smile creeps on my lips as I stare at the box, knowing she'd love and appreciate its meaning as much as I do. Without hesitation, I walk purposefully to the cash register, complete the purchase, and carefully slip the item into the inner pocket of my worn leather jacket.

Stepping out of the gift shop, I slip my hands back into the pockets of my jeans. I amble down the seemingly never-ending hallway with the sound of my footsteps echoing in the empty corridor. I take a moment to inhale deeply, savoring the familiar scent of antiseptic and stale coffee before finally returning to the cramped and dreary waiting room.

As I step into the waiting room, my eyes immediately land on Ana and Nora, who are still seated in the same spot, their legs are bouncing with visible anxiety. I adjust my pace, lengthening my stride as I make my way over to claim the open seat beside Ana.

"The doctor just came out and gave us an update," Ana says as she turns in her chair to face me. "He said that it was touch and go initially, but she's currently stable and in recovery. They'll let us know when she's ready for visitors but they're waiting for her to wake up from surgery."

It feels as if my lungs are about to burst with the tension building up as I let out a deep exhale when I hear that she is resting in recovery. The anticipation of her waking up and being reunited with us calms my nerves, allowing me to finally take a deep, satisfying breath. I pull my phone out of my pocket and send a quick message to James to let the guys know that Allie made it out of surgery and that I'll let them know more when I find out.

Moments stretched into what felt like endless hours as we sit in the heavy silence of the waiting room. Finally, a nurse dressed in periwinkle scrubs appears, clutching a clipboard close to her chest as she navigates toward the waiting area.

Her gaze scans the room as she calls out, "I'm looking for those here for the last name Windsor."

In unison, we spring to our feet, Ana declaring, "that's us!"

"We can only allow two people in at a time since she's just waking up. I can take you to her if you'd come with me and when they're finished, I'll come back for you, Jax," the nurse explained before leading them toward the recovery wing.

I retreat to my seat, sinking into the unforgiving plastic chair, feeling an overwhelming sense of gratitude. This moment serves as a stark reminder that none of us are promised tomorrow. It reflects on the importance of expressing our love to those dear to us, pursuing our dreams with unwavering determination, and never taking anything or anyone for granted. Regret washes over me as I realize I never shared my true feelings with Allie in recent weeks, convinced that it was too soon. Now, I understand that there's no arbitrary timeline for love, only the profound sorrow of not seizing the opportunity before it's ripped away from you in the blink of an eye.

No matter what circumstances may arise, I am committed to staying by her side. This is an absolute certainty for me.