F.M
New York - London
June 17th.

"George! Hello!"

"Freddie?" A sleepy voice replied.

I attempted to hide the panic from my tone as I wove the phone chord through my fingers tightly. "Sorry to bother you dear, but have you heard from Hayes recently?"

Not a word from any of you. I mean it.

"Oh you know what he's like when horses are involved, I'll tell him to phone you later when I see him." George answered dismissively.

I frowned, "You're in New York?"

"No?" I could sense George's frown, "He's here in England. The Royal Ascot is on? It's the one day a year I see him smile, surely he's mentioned it."

Okay, so as you know, a few nights ago I copped off with another man. Let's all just get over it. I admit that it was not my finest moment, nor was it remotely satisfying. Not worth it, not one second of it. When I woke up, I crawled out of Tony's flat and found I had nowhere to retreat to. Naturally, I now stayed at Hayes' whenever I visited New York. I didn't think I would be very welcome there after my piss poor behaviour the previous night. One part of me wanted to have it out straight away, but a larger part of me knew it was best to avoid the critic for a day or two.

A day or two passed with no contact from Hayes. On the third day, I caved and tried to phone him. I was ready to brush things under the carpet and apologise, but Hayes wouldn't bloody answer. I then invented reasons to casually drop by his apartment, and his workplace, but both trips were a failure. His secretary informed me that he wouldn't be in work for the week. Naturally, I began to worry. George was was my last resort, but it yielded the best results.

Unluckily for me, I forgot that man was an overbearing mother hen when it came to his younger brother.

"Freddie? Is everything alright? Should I be worried?"

"No!" I relaxed ever so slightly, "I must have forgotten that he mentioned it." Because we haven't been speaking.

"Good." George sighed a breath of relief, "He appears to be in his element. Three piece suit, horses and gambling."

That does sound like Hayes' idea of nirvana.

"I am going to attempt to drag him home later, so I'll tell him you were asking for him."

"Alright, thank you George." I cooed and hung up the phone, only to redial it once again almost immediately.

"Mary, my darling!" I sang into the speaker, "How are you? Brilliant - I hope."

"What exactly is it that you want Freddie?"

"Not in the mood foreplay?"

Mary chuckled, "No, not exactly."

"Okay fine," I sighed dejectedly, "I need you to accompany me to Berkshire."

"What business do you have in Berkshire?"

"I don't appreciate your tone honey," I sniffed, "I am a high flyer in English society if you must know."

"It pays to hang around with a lord."

I winced slightly, "He's not exactly a lord, and that's actually the business I have in Berkshire."

"Oh the Royal Ascot," Mary put two and two together, "I remember Hayes told me that he adored horses. You went with him last year didn't you?"

"We didn't go together, I just ran into him whilst he was there." How the fuck was that a year ago? "Anyway, we had a little tiff, I won't bore you with the details, and now I have to pop over to England."

"And you can't go without me?"

I felt myself bristle just a tad, "You know I don't like going in places alone—"

"—I know, I know." Mary quickly cut in, "I'll join you, but you need to help me with an outfit. Although I doubt it'll matter, those crowd would spot a commoner dressed in pearls a mile away—"

"— oh stop that shit." I exclaimed, "You always look wonderful, we just need to practise our accents. I think we have to talk through our noses."

"Okay," Mary laughed, "I'll have to practise then."

"I'll brush up on my lingo on the plane," a smile broke out onto my lips, "I will see you tonight then, thank you Mary."

"You're welcome."

The next day Mary forced me to at least wear a powder blue blazer over my white polo neck. She couldn't change my mind about my jeans. I was not prepared to wear a suit in order to watch horses run around in a circle. Mary looked lovely in a simple floral number, but complained about her heels the whole way over.

"Alright, so we're looking for Hayes."

"No way." Mary murmured impatiently.

I had been a tad annoying since I got home to England. I was a little scared that the other night had ruined whatever was going on between us. I was also shocked at quite how horrifying I found the prospect.

"He's about six foot, slim build- not that he's skin and bones, he's well built- but not in a bulky way, in a lean way—"

Mary rolled her eyes and mercifully cut me off, "Freddie, I know what he looks like. You also need to stop rambling."

"I'm not rambling," I protested, "I am just describing Hayes in case we may run into him- fuck!" I yelped and hid Mary and I behind a portable loo once I saw Hayes with Julian Wright.

Hayes had his hands clasped behind his back, which was alarmingly upright, and his head was bowed along with Julian as they spoke in hushed tones. I wish I could say he looked awful, but we all know he didn't. Prick.

Mary covered her nose in horror, "Freddie! He's right there, what are you doing!?"

"I need a minute."

"A minute behind the toilet?" Mary tried in vain to push me out of my hiding spot.

"Yes."

"You're being ridiculous Freddie." Mary huffed before she shocked me and strode off in Hayes' direction. Quiet, lovely Mary, betraying me.

She cautiously touched Hayes back and I watched apprehensively as he turned to face her. I was almost hoping he would be rude, just so I could give out to him and hop up onto a high horse. Have you ever seen the view from a high horse? It's fucking glorious.

Of course that didn't happen though. Hayes peered down over his glasses and flashed her a charming smile. He politely pecked her on the cheek, and introduced her to Julian who followed suit. I could see her bloody blush from here. Now was the perfect chance to go over to Hayes. He would have to be polite if Mary was there, he couldn't help but play the proper English gentleman around women.

Instead I dipped and headed towards the nearest makeshift bar. I ordered water like a responsible adult, before taking a quick shot of vodka. I told myself the next time that I caught sight of Hayes that I would have it out with him.

Only half an hour later, an opportunity presented itself once again. I thought Berkshire would be fucking big enough for me to hide, but clearly not. Hayes had discarded his jacket and looked rather dishy just standing outside of a betting office in a deep blue waistcoat.

Even if we call it quits, at least we'll have talked it out. That's all we need to do, talk. Yes, talk to the fucking concrete slab of a man.

Hayes leant against the wall to the side of the office, a lit cigarette dangled from his lips. His dark hair was being thoroughly tossed about by the frigid wind. He laid his head back against the rough bricks and let out a deep sigh. Hayes was definitely attempting to find a moment's peace. Unfortunately that didn't happen as I watched as a gorgeous girl bound over to him. She looped her arm through his and said something with a beam. Hayes cracked a polite smile in response. Annie and George appeared a second later and his smile turned genuine.

By the time I had finally worked up enough courage to speak with Hayes, he had already been dragged away by his family.

I thought I had missed my window of opportunity to speak to Hayes, because for the next two hours, I could not find him. Mary had rejoined me, and informed me that Hayes had seemed in high spirits. He also asked about me, which seemed like a good sign. At the same time, if he was so concerned about my well-being, he could have fucking rang me.

Just when I was about to give up and go home, I caught sight of Hayes once again near the 'something racetrack' (you hardly expect me to remember the name).  New York was watching the horses rather intently as they paraded up the field pre-race. This was definitely the best time to talk to him.

"I'll be back soon darling." I murmured to Mary and squeezed her arm.

I approached Hayes, who was giving off a rather intimidating 'high lord' aura. He was speaking with another attractive man, who looked vaguely familiar. I could already tell that Hayes was slightly drunk from his fluid hand movements and drops of free laughter. Julian was smiling wolfishly as he murmured something that had Hayes and the stranger cracking up with posh chuckles.

"Hello darlings." I willed my showman persona to conceal my nerves, "How are you all?"

Hayes whirled and his face lit up with surprise. I hoped to fuck that he would at least be polite to me. I didn't deserve it, but still. I wasn't at all expecting him to reach an arm out and tug me closer. It was a simple one armed hug, but it had me relaxed in an instant.

"What are you doing here Freddie?" His tone didn't suggest that he was mad at me, just that he was shocked. "Antony, this is Freddie Mercury."

"I'm not that far removed from the world Griff, I know who he is." Antony cracked a smile and extended his hand, "It's a pleasure to meet you."

"You too." I nodded politely before throwing a smile Julian's way, "Hello."

"Freddie," Julian barely regarded me, which indicated that Hayes had filled him in on the situation. Julian can piss right off as far as I'm concerned.

Hayes plucked his glasses off of his face and smoothly slipped them into his breast pocket. "Is everything alright?"

My mouth gaped open momentarily. The man could have been six feet bloody under for all I fucking knew! Yet here he was, casual as you like about the whole thing. Is he angry at me? Upset? Indifferent? How am I meant to bloody know!?

"Can I steal Hayes away for a moment?" I excused myself from our present company, not at all waiting for an answer.

"Of course." Antony nodded, "Perhaps we could chat later Freddie, I am sure you have some interesting stories to tell."

"And I'm sure you have some of your own." Hayes chuckled and seemed surprised when I suddenly dragged him off.

We walked silently until we reached a rather secluded area near the car park which was far away from the action. Hayes looked longingly towards the racetrack before his cool eyes met mine.

"You look nice." A shy smile tugged at one corner of his lips. He was clearly speaking about my more formal attire, and deflecting from the conversation we were about to have.

"I was worried about you!"

He frowned, "What?"

"I tried phoning you, there was no answer! I dropped by your office- your flat- nothing!" I fumed, "What the fuck Hayes!?"

Hayes' long history of doing a runner has clearly done a number on me.

"I was in London." He replied simply.

I hate it when he's this pristine picture of calm and I'm a raging lunatic. I swear he does it on purpose to make me look ridiculous. Why can't he act half as barmy as me all the time? I'm going to put him in an aviary and watch  him go bloody mad.

"You didn't tell me that!"

Hayes' head tilted slowly to the side, "I didn't think you would notice my absence. It was only three days."

The comment wasn't even a fucking dig, he genuinely thought I wouldn't notice that he was gone. I didn't know whether to hug him or shake him.

"For someone who claims to be so smart, you can be such a bloody twit."

Hayes forced a smile, "Cheers."

I blew out an exasperated puff, "Come here."

Hayes regarded the space between us suspiciously before he took a small step forward. With an impatient sigh, I tugged him towards me. His body seemed to sag when it rested against mine. I held him tightly, and it was only then that I realised just how fucking terrifying the prospect of losing Hayes has been. We shouldn't work, but I bloody want us to. When Hayes and I were good, we were good. I was happy, and I like to think he is too.

"I'm sorry if I worried you," Hayes murmured, "I thought that you may have wanted some space... to do what you wanted."

This reaction was not at all what I expected. He was so pissed off with me the other night. Why was he now acting the apologetic and confused party?

"Have you been replaced with a double?"

Hayes stepped back and attempted to tame back his windswept hair, "No, I was just embarrassed by my boorish behaviour the other night, and wanted to give you space." His eyes quickly flickered about his surroundings, confirming that we were alone.

Stumped, I'm just bloody stumped, "You're not angry with me?"

I watched as his cheekbones slowly flexed, "No."

"It's fine if you are, I was a twat." I offered. Granted my actions were prompted by Hayes refusal to confirm the nature of our relationship, but I was the one who made an immature soap opera out of it.

There was a slight pause as he worked his jaw, "Just don't do it again."

Which part? "What?"

"Don't show off like that," Hayes glanced down at me, his voice had taken on a rough edge, "You can go off with whenever you want, but don't rub my nose in it again. I can deal with a lot, but I won't be dealing with that, alright?"

"Alright," I agreed almost instantly, not because he was angry, but because it was clear now that he was hurt. I didn't enjoy seeing him hurt. It was like self inflicting a wound.

Laughter crackled off in the distance, reminding us that we weren't totally alone right now. Hayes appeared to tense uncomfortably at the reminder. Yet, he took a casual step closer toward me.

"I care about you, and I'm sorry that I often don't make that clear." Hayes murmured and slipped his fingers over my forearm, "The past few days have been awful, I was planning on phoning you once I got back to New York."

This is all surprisingly very nice. "You're not just saying that because I'm here now?"

"You know me," Hayes cracked a half smile, "Would I ever say something just to make someone feel better?"

I opened my mouth to reply, but Mary's voice sounded out from beside us. I expected Hayes to recoil in fear, so you can imagine my surprise when he kept his hand tightly wound around my forearm.

"Oh Freddie," She smiled, "I need to get home, are you okay here? Hello again Hayes."

"Hello." Hayes nodded with a soft smile.

"Do you need to me to arrange a driver?" I asked Mary with concern.

"I would offer," Hayes sighed as if genuinely annoyed, "But I have had a drink or two, I'm sorry."

"Oh no, don't worry about that Hayes. I have already phoned a taxi."

Hayes nodded and slowly withdrew his hand from my arm, "We'll wait with you then, have you enjoyed your day?"

"I did, thank you." Mary smiled, "Although I can't help but feel a little underdressed."

Hayes shook his head vigorously, "Nonsense, you stand out as a rare natural beauty."

Bloody kiss ass.

The polite conversation continued as we waited for Mary's taxi. I almost didn't catch the casual bomb Hayes decided to drop in the middle of it because I often tune out during small talk.

"So you and Freddie must have known each other for little over a year now, considering it is the time of the Royal Ascot once again."

"Mhm, little over a year." Hayes nodded, "But we've only been together for what— about three months now?"

I didn't realise he was asking me, or that he had just claimed that we were bloody together, so I just stared blankly at Mary. Both her and Hayes were looking at me for confirmation, but I had not yet processed the words. There are just certain things you never expect to hear from Hayes Griffith, like 'oh, I enjoyed that song and I can't pick any faults with it.'

"Sorry, what?" I blinked slowly.

"You and I." Hayes' dark brows knit together, "How long has it been, three months? Longer? Shorter?" He threw a bashful smile Mary's way, "I'm hopeless with these things."

"Together? You and I?"

"Unless I have mixed you up with someone else." Hayes chuckled towards Mary, "All the men with moustaches lately have left me disorientated."

I ignored that little quip. Hayes had just casually mentioned that him and I were together. An item. He said it as if it were the most natural thing in the world. A year ago he was engaged to a woman in an effort to hide himself, and now here he was explaining to Mary that we were a couple. I was quite struck with both pride, and affection for Hayes in that moment.

"Since Wales," I finally managed to confirm through an idiotic grin, "That's when Hayes came to his senses and realised how irresistible I am. So yes, about three months."

"Did he say irresistible or insufferable?" Hayes whispered towards Mary who laughed her agreement with the latter. What the fuck is happening?

Mary and Hayes took great pleasure in taking the piss out of me, so I was relieved when I could throw Mary into the back of a cab. Hayes threw his glasses back on his nose, and whipped out a race card the second she left. I decided not to bring up the fact that he casually told Mary we were together, it was done now, and it should be as natural as that. I wasn't about to make a thing of it.

"Right, you have taken up enough of my attention." Hayes hummed, "The Coronation stakes are on, I need to get a move on."

"That's it, I'm cast out, just like that?"

"If we've been together for three months, I have already been cheated on," Hayes clipped out, "Let me look at the bloody races."

I winced, "Hayes—"

"I'm joking, everything is good." Hayes quipped with a careless grin, "Now come on."

I fell into step beside Hayes, "Happy anniversary by the way."

"Anniversary?" Hayes frowned distractedly as he scanned the race card.

"For the time we almost fucked in the bathroom, this time last year, remember?"

Hayes' gaze snapped to mine, "Excuse me?"

"Isn't that what happened?" I frowned, "That's how I remember it."

As we bickered nonsensically for the next few minutes about the fact that we may have hooked up a year ago in the bathroom (we definitely could have), we agreed it was best that we go our separate ways for the race and meet up after. Not that I wanted to be away from Hayes for a second right now. We were in an exciting new territory where Hayes didn't seem to be cowering away from himself. I didn't know how long it was last, but in that moment I hoped it would be forever.

"Freddie!" A young shrill voice cried, "Help!"

I glanced down to see Hayes' goddaughter, Lottie, holding her small hand out to me. Her troubled expression had alarm bells sounding off all about.

"What's wrong darling?" I quickly took her hand in mine. "Did you get lost?"

"Ed said you would help." Charlotte sighed deeply, and led me off towards the throngs of people littering the various walkways that weaved through the marquees.

"Help with what?"

"It's so bad." Lottie tutted in her insanely posh way, "So bad."

Nobody in that family can give a bloody direct answer. Are they taught such inhibitory skills at a young age? Are people born to be evasive politicians?

I soon realised that Lottie's emergency was simply her father embarrassing her with dance moves to the very apt 'Dancing Queen' in a large Marquee. Annie suddenly appeared, looking flustered as she caught a hold of Lottie. I stood there awkwardly as she receiving the scolding of all scoldings for running off.

"Thank you Freddie!" A smacking kiss was placed on my cheek in greeting.

"This could have been avoided if George sat down," I chuckled at Charlotte's horrified expression.

The woman I had seen Hayes with earlier (who turned out to be Julian's younger sister) was dancing with George, both of them were clearly off their tits drunk. Good for them I say.

"Hello." Hayes' voice suddenly purred in my ear. His hand dipped under my coat to splay over my waist.  Oh. From an outside view he just looked like an overly touchy drunk I'm sure, but oh.

It was a struggle to suppress the shiver that wanted to dance up my spine. "Hello." I murmured as nonchalantly as possible. "How did the race go?"

Hayes pulled away, "It would have been brilliant, I picked a winner, but couldn't bloody place a bet because I have misplaced my cheque book." I turned, and caught sight of Hayes' dilated pupils. "

"Freddie, I need to take George home, before he starts taking his tie off." Annie sighed and gave me a small hug, "You're in charge of Mr Gambling Addict."

She then proceeded to slip a small stack of papers into my hand, "He's cut off."

"I knew you took it!" Hayes exclaimed and attempted to snatch his cheque book back.

I merely tutted and slipped the book into my pocket, "Hayes what happened to your budget?"

"I'll have you know that I won £200 pounds today." Hayes sniffed, literally because he had obviously took cocaine. I had only left him for twenty minutes maximum, and he had managed to perk himself up even more.

"And how much did you lose?"

Hayes pecked Annie's cheek to bid her farewell, before dipping to place another kiss on the top of Lottie's head. "That's not important Freddie." He grinned innocently as I waved a goodbye to his family.

"Freddie, you don't understand the rush of winning a bet."

"All of that chance?"

"Oh no," Hayes shook his head quickly, "There's a formula, you have to take many factors into account.  The horse's form, age, pedigree, how many days it's been since their last race..."

I let Hayes prattle on endlessly about how he picks his horses to bet on, and joined him as he hopped from track to track to catch the last few races. Hayes only chattered when he was comfortable, so it always felt good when he went off like this. It appeared as though he really didn't care about what happened the other night. I eventually got chatting to Elton John on the way out, and told Hayes to go on ahead home to Stafford Terrace.

Don Henley's Dirty Laundry, was blaring at full volume on the radio when I returned home. Hayes' shirt was completely unbuttoned and flowing about him as he held a book a healthy distance away from his face. He was still wearing his slacks and socks, and a cigarette dangled precariously from his lips. I struggled to contain my laughter as he shifted his hips about.

"Dirty little secrets, dirty little lies, we got our dirty little fingers, in everybody's pies." He attempted to sing without dropping his cigarette and somehow managed to do so. "We love to cut you down to size, we love dirty laundry."

"The irony of you singing that song is brilliant."

Hayes appeared startled for a split second before he smirked, "The song really resonates with me Freddie." He offered me the cigarette and squinted at the book.

"Because you're a filthy journalist?" I cooed and plucked the cigarette from his grasp.

Hayes was a very nice sight to come home to, especially when it felt like today something had shifted between us. He threw a supercilious grin my way, and placed down the copy of 'The Hotel New Hampshire' that he had once left in my bedroom on the coffee table.

"I'm a spiffing one."

"A modest one."

"Handsome too."

I pressed a quick kiss to his lips, "And tired." I commented, unable to ignore his dark eyes anymore.

"That's what the coke was for." Hayes chuckled and didn't let me get too far as he grabbed the sides of my shirt and hauled me back towards his chest. "I had a few sleepless nights if you must know."

"Is that so?"

"Mhm, it was awful." Hayes spoke wearily and dipped his face close to mine. "This absolute tosser likes to keep me worrying over him."

"I call it keeping you on your toes."

"Mhm, well I don't like it." Hayes murmured against my lips before he took my chin between his gentle fingertips.

When I attempted to close the distance between our lips, he tilted my chin to the side, "Oh I don't know," he hummed, "you must be tired after your last wild night."

"I knew you weren't fine about it." I huffed.

"I am allowed to want you to myself" Hayes shrugged, "and be annoyed when that isn't the reality." He dragged his thumb over my bottom lip before he pulled away.

Is it proper etiquette to want to tackle him onto the couch? "Were you getting ready for bed?" I asked and trailed my hand down his bare abdomen.

"Mhm," Hayes whirled around, "Then I remembered I promised Alex I would finish reading that book."

I was almost ready to whine from his apparent lack of interest in me right now.

Hayes made his way into the bedroom. He began slipping off his socks and then set about unlooping his belt in a distracted fashion, I watched his hands with great interest. Once he shrugged off his shirt fully, he began folding his clothes in an efficient manner. I threw him a pair of pyjama bottoms, but hoped that he would go without them. 

Hayes threw on the flannel bottoms and practically dove into the bed. "Hurry." He patted the space beside him.

"Bloody hell, alright bossy." I sighed as if that's not exactly where I wanted to be.

The second I lay down, Hayes dragged himself up to lie over me. His smoky scent hit me immediately, and filled me with comfort. I don't know what sudden jolt of adrenaline hit Hayes because he was strangely hyper.

"Night." Hayes pecked my cheek, Good night." Another kiss, "Securi dormite—"

"Get off you silly tart." I laughed and attempted to push his deceivingly sturdy frame off of me.

"What kind of tart am I?" Hayes chewed on his lip in deep contemplation.

I arched a brow, "I haven't thought about it."

"Bakewell." Hayes said with a stony expression, "I bloody love those. I haven't had one in years. If I were to be a tart, it would be a Bakewell tart. The things I would do for a Bakewell tart right now..."

I blinked slowly, "Hayes, please settle down, you were never meant to be this excited about something."

"No, you have opened up this topic, deal with the consequences." Hayes huffed and rolled off of me, "Thought you'd say I was a lemon tart."

You'd? I pressed my fingers to the pulse at Hayes' wrist just to make sure he wasn't going to keel over at any second. Hayes frowned at the gesture but didn't question it.

"Lemon, because they're sour."

"I understood the line of thinking honey."

"Just making sure." Hayes tapped my cheek gently, "Did you know that tart originally meant 'pretty woman'? Interesting that, don't you think? Now it means a lady of the night. Which is it, a compliment or an insult?"

"Why are you so bloody giddy?" I laughed and pushed his hair back out of his eyes.

"One- I'm happy to see you. Two- there is still cocaine in my system." He replied with an impish grin.

Hayes admitting he was happy to see me was so simple, yet stirred a concoction of positive feelings within me. "And why are you so happy to see me darling?"

Hayes made a general gesture to my face, "I mean look at you." He then squinted and used his hand to cover my upper lip, "Yes, look at you. Sorry, I have to be careful without my glasses lately."

"You have to be running out of those fucking moustache quips."

"I'm not." Hayes confirmed with a sweet smile before he placed a chaste kiss on my lips.

His nose crinkled slightly from the itch of the coarse hairs covering my lip. In retaliation, I began littering his neck with playfully messy kisses, making sure to scratch the moustache roughly against him as I did so.

"Fuck off!" Hayes exclaimed and attempted to push me off, but I was pressed up too hard against him.

"No, I missed you far too much." I sighed dramatically and proceeded to clamber on top of him.

"Hm." Hayes hummed unconvincingly.

"What do you mean hm?"

"I thought you would be too busy to miss me." Hayes commented dryly before he forced his eyes closed.

"Do we need to talk about this, properly?"

"No? I'm joking."

I sighed, "A joke that you keep making."

"Perhaps I find it funny."

"There's many a true word spoken in jest."

Hayes blinked his eyes open, "Did you just quote James Joyce? Are you trying to seduce me?"

I laughed gently before I lay back properly, "I never thought I would say this, but please be serious for a moment Hayes."

Hayes slowly turned to face me and draped himself over my torso. The warmth of his bare skin against mine had me wanting to be anything but serious right now. He carefully rested his face into the crook of my neck.

"I'm always serious, do I need to be right now?"

"You always bury stuff and end up losing it later, how about we skip all of that this time?"

Hayes deeply exhaled, "I suppose, but I prefer it when we ignore the problems."

"I noticed."

"I don't want you to feel bad either," Hayes murmured, "Because I don't blame you for what you did, and understand why you did it."

"Then what is the issue?"

"I just hoped you wouldn't actually go through with it." Hayes explained softly, "I knew that your patience with my request for secrecy was wearing thin, and that the other night could have been avoided, but regardless, it still hurt to know how easily you can hop from me to someone else."

Hayes is an extremely insecure person, that's obvious, so of course practically shagging someone in front of him wasn't going to be easily forgotten.

"Well I never would have done it if you had let me know you took our relationship quite so seriously." I explained and threaded my fingers through his hair. "But my behaviour was childish, and that man meant absolutely nothing to me. I was just pushing you for a reaction."

"I know, and it's fine."

"If you had acted like I did the other night, I would have bloody lost it." I chuckled, "I could barely handle Joe flirting with you when you are so clearly not interested in him."

"My mind is firmly set on you Freddie, it has been for quite some time."

My lips lifted into a brief smile, "Mhm?"

Hayes let out a hum of assent, "You're annoyingly difficult not to like, and I mean that sincerely, it's bloody irritating."

"You're going to make me blush." He half snorted in response to that, and tucked himself closer into my chest, "Now are we all okay?"

Things were not okay, not in Hayes' mind. The next thing I knew, he went off on this little tangent, revealing feelings and fears that I never thought he had. An entire monologue about how boring he was, how unexciting, once compared to all the other people that I interact with. How me sleeping with other people was accepted because he didn't feel like he could ever be satisfactory enough to keep me to himself anyway. So he really wasn't angry with me, because he expected it to happen.

"My god, you are completely daft aren't you?"

Hayes glanced up at me with confusion, "What?"

"In the past year you have been figuring yourself out, and every time I speak to you, something new is revealed. How is that not exciting?"

"I'm a suit Freddie, it's not your typical—"

"Hayes, I don't view you through that bleak lense that you have selected for yourself. Don't try and make me see things from your point of view, it won't work."

Hayes looked frustrated that I wouldn't just agree that he was awful, so he surprised me with a rather childish, "Whatever."

"You are spending far too much time in America," I declared and squeezed him impossibly tight, "I need you to stick with me, keep you on the straight and narrow, well, not on the straight— I will not go through another fucking straight Hayes phase I'll tell you—"

"Don't be such a twat." Hayes grumbled, back to his usual grumpy self.

"Can I say why I'm annoyed with you now darling?"

"Give it to me."

Immediately, my brows lifted suggestively and even without seeing the expression Hayes swatted me sleepily  on the chest. "Not like that."

"Fine," I grunted and continued to brush my fingers through Hayes' thick hair, "Even if you're upset with me, please don't just disappear. I fucking hate it."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't say sorry, just promise me you won't just run off at the first sign of trouble. If you need a day or two, tell me. If you need a week, just bloody tell me. Don't have me worrying whether or not I'm going to see you again."

Hayes sidled himself even closer to me, as if to show he wasn't planning on going anywhere. "I promise you I won't run off again."

"And I'll attempt to give you no reasons to feel the urge to run off."

"I'm sure." Hayes murmured dryly, and I could feel him drifting off to sleep against my chest. That only made me want to hold him a little tighter, which I didn't think was even possible.

"Hayes?"

"Yes?" He replied with a yawn.

"I tolerate you," I murmured, "very much."

Hayes let out an adorably surprised chuckle, "I tolerate you too," he pressed a listless kiss to my collarbone, "very much."

We had taken two steps backwards with our row, but it somehow helped Hayes and I move forward in leaps and bounds. The view of Hayes asleep, with a jarringly relaxed and soft expression, turned out to be much better than then the one from a high horse.

___

A/N-

Hope you all enjoyed!! ❤️