Mason Walton

Christmas. What a wonderful time of the year, right? Well, Christmas was my favorite holiday. I loved how my parents' house would fill up with family and friends. I loved how Helena's kids decorated my mother's giant Christmas tree. The joy this holiday brought us was indescribable.

Every year, Emily and the twins would decorate the whole house with my mom but refused to let anyone near the tree. They reminded me of Helena and me when we were just kids, we always wanted to put up the ornaments on our own.

Mom, Helena, and I were sitting on the couch watching the kids do their own decoration, knowing full well that as soon as they'd be out of the house mom would change it all to her taste. The kids knew it too, but they wanted to do it anyway while eating freshly baked cookies.

"You sure you want her to come every day?" Helena whispered to me.

I knew she was talking about Katrina. She couldn't wrap her head around the fact I forgave Katrina. The truth was, I still didn't remember what Katrina did, and I didn't even care. I was happy I found my childhood best friend, and for now, it was enough.

"Yes, Helena, let's not argue about that again. I have feelings for her, I want her here with me."

"But..."

"No. You need to respect my choice just like I always respected yours. You're my sister and best friend Helena. Please don't ruin that by pushing her away or being bitchy to her. We all know you can be a bitch when you want to."

She rolled her eyes and slapped my arm playfully. "I'm just looking out for you."

"And I love you for it. But please, let me remember what she did and decide by myself what I want to do about it."

"Okay... I think I can do that. But as I told you yesterday when she left, you two were never together so..."

"We weren't but things happened right?"

"Yes." She chuckled as Ryan sprayed glitter on Emily and mom gasped as the glitter flew around the room. "She'll have a heart attack."

"I can't watch this." Mom shook her head getting up, "I'm going to check on the cookies. Mason when is Kat coming?"

"She didn't say. She's spending the day with her family but she'll come around when she can. Why?"

"I just got used to having her around all the time. yesterday she left because of Eloise, and she was supposed to come back in the evening but she didn't..."

"You miss her?" Helena asked surprised.

"I actually do. I like her a lot! And if you'd stop worrying and being bitchy to her you'll see why." Mom shocked us both before leaving the living room.

"Am I the bad guy here?"

"Nah... you're just overprotective over your little brother." I ruffled her hair earning a groan accompanied by a punch on my shoulder.

"I'm still bruised you fucking idiot!"

"Uncle Mason cursed!" Emily poked Ryder's arm excitedly and then turned to Ryan "He needs to put a dollar in the cursing jar!" She reached for the jar that was hidden under the TV and came running with it to me.

I laughed reaching into my pocket and taking out a dollar before slipping it in. This jar has existed since I was six, and was made especially because of my foul mouth. But eventually, everyone started adding money to it since they all cursed and cussed. I watched them make a happy dance when Emily set the jar back and I glance at Helena who was laughing.

"Your kids are weird."

"They take after you, my dearest brother." We heard the bell ring and Helena got on her feet shooting me a look "I'll get it."

I wanted it to be Katrina, but I didn't want Helena to be mean to her. She was there for me when I needed her the most and she never left my side... if I could offer her the world I would. God knows I would do anything to make her happy.

A few minutes later I was disappointed to see Elsa come in with a bunch of papers in her arms. I didn't go back to work but I still worked a bit on the phone and communicated with clients through Elsa. She dropped the folders in front of me and gave me a pen, wanting me to sign them. With a sigh, I started reading them one by one and signing them off while she sat by the tree with the kids and started playing with them. She was in a way trying to know what they would like for Christmas to facilitate her task.

It wasn't long after Elsa's departure that we heard the bell again. And this time, I was certain it was Kat. I beat Helena to the door and opened it widely forgetting about the snowstorm. I was hit with a wave of icy wind and shivered a little. But it didn't matter, my heart warmed up the second I laid eyes on Katrina.

"Are you going to let me in or let me freeze to death out here?"

"Oh I'm sorry," I let her in and helped her out of her coat the best I could with just one functioning arm. "Come on, let's get you warmed up."

"I wasn't going to come due to the snow, it's crazy out there."

"Then why did you?" Helena leaned on the door frame with a raised eyebrow.

"Helena," I warned her with a glare. I didn't want her to upset Katrina. When I glanced at Katrina I noticed she was smiling and wasn't upset at all.

"I came because I missed your brother, and I promised your mom I'll be here today."

"You're here every day anyway."

"I am Helena, and I will be here as long as Mason wishes me to be. Now, if you'll excuse me?"

She walked past my sister and went inside the living room. I heard my mom greet her happily and the kids seemed very excited to see her.

I glare at Helena letting out a sigh "Why? I mean, why did you have to do that? Didn't we just agree that you'll stop being a bitch?"

"I just can't Mason! She hurt you!"

"Whatever." I went into the living room and found Katrina decorating the tree with the kids. They were adding the final touches and it intrigued me how she convinced them to let her work with them. I sat on the couch and watched them for a while before closing my eyes and blocking every sound out of my ears and mind except one. Her laugh. It was melody to my ears and I relaxed just listening to it.

I couldn't hear it anymore and my eyes flew open. I met her gaze and knew I was smitten. She blushed quickly looking away.

"Alright, kids! You had your fun, now say goodbye to everyone, and let's go home before the storm grows heavier." Helena took her purse and leaned down to peck mom's cheek and waved at both Katrina and me before she headed to the foyer where their coats were. The kids whined not wanting to go but did as instructed knowing the outcome if they didn't. Sometimes I found Helena too hard on them, but sometimes I saw how well she was bringing them up.

"I'll leave you two and go make dinner. Is chicken Teryaki okay Katrina?"

"Oh, no, I'm not staying for dinner, I'll leave in a bit as well. Thank you, Elise."

"Nonsense! You're staying and that's final." My mom smiled triumphantly when Katrina nodded and disappeared into the kitchen.

I patted the couch next to me "Come sit next to me Kitty,"

She sat down leaving space between us, but since I couldn't pull her to me with my right arm, I moved to her side and rested my head on her shoulder. We sat in silence, watching the crackling fire and listening to the wind from outside. I felt at peace, I felt happy, and most importantly I felt at home. At that moment, I knew that no matter what happened in the past, I wouldn't let it take away my fondness for her.

"Hey, Mason, tell me. What do Alexander The Great and Winnie The Pooh have in common?" She asked with a smile.

I looked at her with a frown "Is that supposed to be a joke or something?" I chuckled "I don't know, What?"

"Same middle name!"

My frown disappeared as I stared into her eyes while having a flashback. That was a joke I said to her when I was drunk... I reached for her hand as I kept having images of her flashing through my eyes. We spent a lot of time together, we worked together, we kissed, we went to central park, we went to the farmers market, and we... I closed my eyes for a second trying to push the pain I was feeling in my chest.

"Mason? Are you okay? You're breathing hard... Mason, relax, look at me... please."

Her voice was distant, I was panting and my blood was pounding in my ears. I could feel my heart thudding in my chest as my hands started shaking. I opened my eyes as Katrina instructed but my vision was distorted. I couldn't make out anything around me except Katrina's blurred figure.

She cupped my face and urged me to calm down using her soothing and soft voice. I knew too well what was happening. I was having a panic attack, and it felt alien to me as I hadn't had any in so long. Katrina must have known what was happening, as she gently pulled me to her and drew soothing circles on my back trying to calm me down.

I closed my eyes again focusing on my breathing and her angel-like voice. She was doing wonders with her hands on my back.

"Can you look at me now Mason?"

I straightened myself slowly and looked up at her, seeing tears in her eyes. I reached with my left hand and wiped them away.

"Are you feeling better?"

"Thanks to you, I am. Thank you... How... How did you know what to do?"

She bit the inside of her cheek and shrugged as if it wasn't important but I urged her to speak wanting to know more about her.

"The first time it happened to me I was in school being bullied by the one and only Gregory. It was terrifying Mason. I didn't understand what was happening to me and I suddenly felt scared, helpless, and alone. Then, it started happening more often, and it would take me forever to calm down. There was one time, Noah found me in the garage all huddled up on myself having difficulty breathing. He told my parents and they took me to a psychologist. Turned out I have anxiety and obsessive self-doubt and judging."

"I didn't know, I'm sorry... so that's how you knew what to do."

"Yes, I've had too many panic attacks that I know how you felt, and I just did what Noah used to do to calm me."

"You're lucky you had Noah. I started having them after Celine. And no one knew about my attacks so I really was alone."

"But what happened now? What did my joke trigger? You were just fine and then got lost in my eyes and then just started hyperventilating. What happened?"

"I remembered you. I remembered the pain."