These are some random, 'Haww' inducing confessions from during the course of this novel. I'm penning these down as we go along the story.

Confession #1  

So I've said it before that I have an evil voice in my head too. Just like Mina from my book, "Not That Interested". So basically, my Evil Voice  (EEV-E's Evil Voice), likes to give spontaneous plot ideas to me, that are designed to put me in a crunch about two months in the future, where I'm left scratching my head like: "WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING???"

1) Exhibit A:

Me: *while planning story details* Hmm. I wonder how many siblings Azaan has....

EEV: Make one of them die.

Me: What? No!!

EEV: I'm serious. One of his brothers died in the army.

Me: Err...where would this fit in the plot?

EEV: Make him his only other brother. Will pack more of a punch....

Me: No...

EEV: He will be super nice, and brave, and awesome so that it hurts more...

Me: NO!

EEV: Doitdoitdoitdoitdoit

Me: *creates the character of Amaan*

Me: Okay. Done. Now what? What's his story? How does he relate to Azaan's side of the story?

EEV: What? Am I supposed to do all the hard work here? *Sips a Latte*

Me: -.-

2) Exhibit B:

Me: *Listening to music while thinking over the plot*

EEV: Zaif could be a musician, you know. He will be the distant, moody kind. Stays out of the country...

Me: Ooh. Nice. *Introduces Zaif's character*

Me: *Notices it after publishing*

Me: Wait. Why the hell does he have to stay out of the country?

EEV: 🙈

Me: ANSWER ME GODDAMMIT!

EEV: I'm not responsible for this. 👼

3) Exhibit C:

EEV: Wouldn't it be cool if you write the prologue this way?? *Explains the current prologue*

Me: That's beautiful. Thanks.
*Writes and publishes it*
I'm sure you have a plan to fit it perfectly someplace.

EEV: Duh.

*Months pass*

Me: *Somewhere in the middle of the book*
So. When exactly are we planning on fitting this in the plot?

EEV: Be patient.

Me: Okay.

*More months pass*

Me: *Almost nearing the end of the book*
Dude. Wtf? When are we fitting this?

EEV: Hmm? Fit what?

Me: 😭🔫

4) Exhibit D:

EEV: Hey. Remember when X told us about his memory loss?

Me: Yeah. So?

EEV: .....

Me: What??? Noo! Come on! It has nothing to do with the plot! Why can't you just focus on one story??

EEV: Everything has everything to do with the plot. One life. One love. One plot...

Me: No!

EEV: Yes!

Me: *Sigh* I guess we could add some sort of a love confession in the middle of his amnesia....

EEV: Exactly!

Me: And I guess this would be the best time to introduce Kulsoom Dadi.

EEV: That's the spirit!! I love that old coot!

Me: But then how would this effect Layla? Will she be comfortable with it??

EEV: I suddenly remember. I have a thing to do...

Me: You bitch.

EEV: It's very important. Srsly. That thing. 

4) Exhibit D:

Me: *Writing the chapter of Azaan's introduction (ch:3). Still Very unclear about what he is gonna be like. Randomly starts describing an unimportant TA character in Layla's class*

EEV: Ooh. Add an ear stud on him. And make him hot!

Me: ...okay... :/

EEV: Make him all prankster type. An asshole type *skips excitedly*

Me: Why the hell are we focusing on him anyways? He isn't even important...

EEV: Every character should have quirks. Makes them more rounded.

Me: *impressed* okay.
*Adds plenty of details about random TA*

EEV: Awesome. He can be Azaan.

Me:😱I'm not ready for this!!

EEV: I love him already. Did you put in dimples? I like dimples...

Confession # 2:

So I've joked about it before, but this recurring weirdness has freaked me out pretty bad.

This book is full of fulfilled prophecies.

I'm serious.

I'd write something, and suddenly similar to things would start happening around me irl!!

Exhibit A:
I wrote about Layla's childhood experience, then a few weeks later someone close to me revealed their own eerily similar story.

Exhibit B:
I wrote about an Atif Concert in their University. Four Months later, we had an Atif Concert arranged by our University for the first time.

Exhibit C:
I randomly wrote about this 'Qais' actor who had worked in Grease. Then a few weeks later, there were billboards everywhere of a Grease Musical production being revived after four years in my city.

Exhibit D:
I jokingly (but admittedly in bad taste) wrote about someone killing Qandeel Baloch (a Facebook celebrity).

A few Months later: HER BROTHER KILLED HER!

This one horrified me the most.

The pen is mightier than the sword. Literally.

Exhibit E: 

Literally under two weeks of my writing about Abuse victims walking on the fashion ramp (Chapter 41), Indian beauty blogger Reshma Qureshi became the first burn victim to model at New York Fashion Week 2016. HOW COOL IS THAT? I think the fashion industry suffers from a lack of not only racial, but also other kinds of diversity. Beauty isn't singular. It isn't a skin color, or a body type. It's not able or disabled. It isn't whole or broken. It exists everywhere, and it is time that our trendsetters are mindful of showing it off wherever they find it. 

Exhibit F:

I wrote about Layla starting an organization that fights for women's rights in Pakistan. And in the past summer, I was privileged to be a part of the core team creating one such organization: Raahat-for women. We're not quite there yet, but we'll be. 

Confession # 3:

So after discovering my oracle-like superpowers of prediction, I have made a few predictions throughout the book's "Future" chapters:

Exhibit A: 

I think Jay-Z and Beyonce are on their way to becoming the next Brangelina. IYKWIM. 

Exhibit B: 

Pizza Biryani will be a thing soon.

Exhibit C: 

Ryan Gosling will be featured in People's magazine. It's about time he got the Sexiest Man Alive title. Although I gotta say, that after Chris Hemsworth, David Beckham, Ryan Reynolds and the like, The Gos sure has to fill some really big shoes. 

Confession # 4.0:

The character of Razi was supposed to be bisexual. But he turned out more gay than bi, so I just went with it. He isn't very religious. In fact, I'd categorize him as atheistic or agnostic, except that he does believe in God and the afterlife, just not via any particular religion.

Confession # 4.1:
I kinda like his character!

Confession # 5: 

How I see Azaan in my head has changed almost completely from back when I started. That's why I removed the cast I had in my head. Y'all are free to put those imaginations to work, and figure out what everyone looks like. 

Confession # 6: 

A lot of Ed Sheeran inspired this book. I'm tempted to go back to a few of my favorite chapters and add songs wherever I remember them. But in case you miss it. This is my official playlist for DRM: 

Bloodstream by Ed Sheeran

Fall by Ed Sheeran

She by Ed Sheeran

Nina by Ed Sheeran

Afire Love by Ed Sheeran

Thinking Out Loud by Ed Sheeran

Don't by Ed Sheeran

Thick Skin by Leona Lewis

We don't talk anymore by Charlie Puth ft Selena Gomez

Go ahead and Break my Heart by Blake Shelton ft Gwen Stefani

Let Go by Frou Frou

Youth by Daughter 

All of me by John Legend

The Greatest by Sia

Chandelier By Sia

What doesn't kill you by Kelly Clarkson

Compass by Lady Antebellum 

Tum Ho by Strings 

Khamaj by Shafqat Amanat Ali 

Kabira By Arjit Singh

Lose yourself by Eminem

Superman by Eminem

Monster by Eminem ft Rihanna

I'm not afraid by Eminem 

Code name Vivaldi by The Piano Guys

It's Gonna be Okay by The Piano Guys

Fix you/Clocks The Piano Guys Cover 

Confession # 7:

This book has been hard for me.

Not because I am writing about painful topics. But because so many of my readers have reached out to me with their own abuse stories, and that blurs the line between fiction and reality. Some of those stories have been worse than the ones in this book.

I want you survivors to know that you're all very beautiful. Your strength awes me. You're the ink in my pen. And I will never stop writing for you. <3 

Confession # 8: 

I'm drowning in comments that have accumulated in my hiatus. But I'm still greedy for more. :D 

Let me know how you all liked this and the epilogue! 

If you have been a silent reader so far: It's never too late. I'll not eat your cheese puffs. Give me love dammit. 

Stay tuned for acknowledgements and dedications. Apparently I have to ass kiss you all now, to show how much I appreciate the consistent support, and (scarily) fanatic devotion you've shown me. :* Muah Muahs. 

Love and Cheese Puffs, 

-E.