Red🩸, waking up: (Where am I?) *Looks around* (Some sort of forest? I wonder if that bastard's here...)

*Screaming can be heard from a nearby village*

Red🩸: ... (I should check that out) *goes to check and sees a demon attacking said village* (Oh, is that a new abno?)

Villager: Please, help us! We'll give you anything! Please!

Red🩸: ... That means you'll pay me if I help, right?

Villager: Yes, please, just save us from that beast!

Red🩸: Alright then *casually just runs towards the demon and crushes it's head* Well, that was surprisingly easy-

Villager: Our savior!

Red🩸: No need to thank me, just hand me the money and I'll be on my way

Villager: If you insist *pays her*

Red🩸: Welp, bye! *leaves the village*

*A little later...*

Tengen✨: People of *name* village, I am here to- wait, where's the demon?-

Villager: Oh, you mean the beast?

Tengen✨: Yes, I heard there was a beast around here and came to slay it! Now, where is it?

Villager: Oh, a mercenary came by and killed it for us in exchange for money

Tengen✨: I see, where did they go?

Villager: She went that way *points to the direction Red went*

Tengen✨: I see, thank you, kind gentleman

*With Red*

Red🩸, as she calmly walks through the forest: 🎶Papa's gonna buy you a mocking bird, I'ma give you the world🎶-

Tengen✨: You there!

Red🩸: What do you want?

Tengen✨: I recently heard you killed a beast that was terrorizing a village nearby, How?

Red🩸: I just crushed it's head and it kinda just turned into dust or something

Tengen✨: Ok, why did you kill that demon?

Red🩸: For money, of course

Tengen✨: Not to save the village?

Red🩸: I'm a mercenary, saving people 𝘪𝘴𝘯'𝘵 my business, alright? Taking up assassinations 𝘪𝘴

Tengen✨: I see, I have a job for you if you're interested

Red🩸: What is it?

Tengen✨: Slaying demons, like the thing you killed at the village

Red🩸: ... How much do I get paid?

Tengen✨: Depends on the rank, the lowest rank, Mizunoto, are roughly paid around 20,000 yen, while the highest rank, Hashira, are paid how ever much they want

Red🩸: ... I'm interested

Tengen✨: Great, all you have to do is pass the final selection!

Red🩸: The what-

*skip to when Red's done with it*

Red🩸: Welp, passed that test

Tengen✨: Great, now you need a nichirin blade and a uniform-

Red🩸: Ok, 1. I don't need a new weapon, 2. I will 𝘯𝘰𝘵 wear a uniform, I fight best in these clothes

Tengen✨: ... I'm alright with the uniform part but you need a nichirin blade to kill demons-

Red🩸: Crushing their heads seems to be enough so, no, I'm not getting a new weapon

Tengen✨: Very well, now I have to introduce you to my fellow Hashiras and our boss

Red🩸: K

*They go to the corps*

Tengen✨: Everyone, meet my 𝘧𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘩𝘺 new student,- ʷᵃⁱᵗ, ʷʰᵃᵗ'ˢ ʸᵒᵘʳ ⁿᵃᵐᵉ ᵃᵍᵃⁱⁿ?

Red🩸, whispering back to him: Red

Tengen✨: -Red!

Shinobu🦋: Uzui-san, I'm glad you have a student now, but why isn't he wearing a uniform?

Red🩸: Because I don't want to, also, I'm a girl

Shinobu🦋: Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know until you spoke

Red🩸: (Is my voice 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 feminine?-)

*A blue portal opens and a magic bullet comes out of it and Red gets shot in the arm*

Red🩸: HEILIGE SCHEISSE-

Shinobu🦋: Are we under attack by a demon?! But it's day-

Red🩸: Demons don't attack during the day?

Shinobu🦋: They're weak to the sun, but let's not talk right now, we're under attack!-

Red🩸: I get it but 1. Are you sure they're demons and not vampires, 2. We're not under attack-

Shinobu🦋: What do you mean we're not under attack?! What was that bullet then?!

Red🩸: That bullet was fired here randomly and not on purpose

Shinobu🦋: How are you sure?

Red🩸: Because he wouldn't endanger me on purpose

Shinobu🦋: Who's "he"?

Red🩸: Der Freischütz, a prideful and impulsive German marksman, also my father figure

Shinobu🦋: Ok, but that doesn't explain the portal that opened-

Red🩸: Frei made a deal with the devil for a gun that will never miss, the portals are how they always hit a target

Shinobu🦋: ... I see, how do you know so much?

Red🩸: Well-

*A seemingly normal little bird landed on Red's shoulder*

Red🩸: Oh, hello Punishing, do you have a message or something?

Punishing🐦: *shakes his head*

Red🩸: Where are the other birds?

Punishing🐦: *idk gesture*

Red🩸: So you're gonna stick with me for now?

Punishing🐦: *nods*

Red🩸: Very well, you can stay with me until you regroup

Punishing🐦: *happy chirps*

Red🩸: ... You're too adorable for an executioner but at least you get the job done

Punishing🐦: *confused proud chirps*

Sanemi💨: THAT BIRD'S AN 𝘌𝘟𝘌𝘊𝘜𝘛𝘐𝘖𝘕𝘌𝘙? THERE'S NO WAY THAT LITTLE THING IS-

*Punishing bird proceeds to peck him continuously*

Red🩸: DON'T KILL HIM, I JUST GOT THIS JOB AND DON'T WANNA GET FIRED FOR THAT!

Punishing🐦: *stops and flies back to Red*

Red🩸: Learned your lesson, eyebrowless guy?

Sanemi💨: THAT WAS NOTHING, I CAN HANDLE A COUPLE PECKS!

Red🩸: Well, that bird could do worse, 𝘸𝘢𝘺 worse

Sanemi💨: LIKE WHAT?

Red🩸: Just don't try to kill him when he shows you

Shinobu🦋: We won't

Red🩸: Ok, show em, Punishing

Punishing🐦: *shows the Hashiras his hidden teeth*

Sanemi💨: WHAT THE FUCK, THE BIRD'S A DEMON?!

Red🩸: HE'S NOT A DEMON, HE'S AN ABNORMALITY!

Sanemi💨: THE FUCK'S AN ABNORMALITY?!

Red🩸: Basically anomalies

Sanemi💨: SO, IT'S NOT A DEMON?

Red🩸: NO!

*A black and white butterfly with a familiar pattern flies by*

Red🩸, looking at the butterfly: Funeral?

Punishing🐦: *chirps of familiarity*

Red🩸 to the butterfly: Are you... Funeral's messenger?

*The butterfly leaves a note in her hand*

Red🩸: Tell him that- Oh, it's gone... What's in here? *Opens note and sees it's in Funeral's handwriting* Well, that's confirmation that 2/3 of my found family's around here somewhere, now what about Star?

Shinobu🦋: Red, bow down, our master is here!

Red🩸: Right, Sorry- *does as she says*

Kagaya: Uzui, I heard you got a student?

Tengen✨: Yes, she's right here

Kagaya: I see, Why did you pick her to be a demon slayer?

Tengen✨: Well, when I was sent to *name* village to slay the demon terrorizing it, she managed to kill it first; without a Nichirin blade too

Kagaya: How did you accomplish such a thing, Miss?

Red🩸: Well, I crushed it's head; also please don't call me 'Miss', it feels too respectful for me-

Kagaya: Very well, what's your name then?

Red🩸: Red

Kagaya: Very well Red, why did you agree to become a demon slayer?

Red🩸: Money, of course, that's also why I became a mercenary before this

Kagaya: Well, not too proud of the ambition but at least your honest about it

Red🩸: Well, Papa 𝘥𝘪𝘥 say honesty was my best quality (in personality that is) so, yeah, there's that

Kagaya: Seems like you get along well with your father

Red🩸: Yeah, we do (I guess-)

Kagaya: Alright, enough chitchat, time to send you on your first mission, recently there's been rumors of a bird-like demon in a forest near *name* village, you shall go investigate with Uzui

Red🩸: Very well, we're going now, I assume?

Kagaya: Yes, when you're done, report back here

Tengen✨: Very well Master, c'mon Red, let's go slay a demon

Red🩸: K

*They go to *name* village and see that the people are being hanged*

Red🩸: (This reminds me of someone...)

Tengen✨: Is anyone here?

Judgement🦯: *hears him and turns to a different direction* Oh, hello

Red🩸: Uh, Judgement, we're over here

Judgement🦯: *turns to face Red* Whoops- sorry-

Tengen✨, whispering to Red: ʷʰʸ ᵈⁱᵈ ʸᵒᵘ ᵗᵉˡˡ ʰⁱᵐ ᵒᵘʳ ˡᵒᶜᵃᵗⁱᵒⁿ?

Red🩸, to Tengen: Dude you literally alerted him that we're here

Tengen✨, still whispering: ᵒʰ

Punishing🐦:*making his usual sounds ig*

Judgement🦯: Punishing?

Punishing🐦: *chirping equivalent of 'mhm!'*

Judgement🦯: Glad we reunited, buddy

Red🩸: What about me?

Judgement🦯: Nice to be in your presence, Red

Red🩸: Nice to see you too

Judgement🦯: ...

Red🩸: ... *Realization* WAIT, I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT-

Judgement🦯: It's alright, just don't forget

Red🩸: Yeah- sorry-

Tengen✨: So are you two friends or-

Judgement🦯: Well, we're technically coworkers in a way but I suppose we are kinda friends

Tengen✨, turning to Red: How did you befriend a demon? Also what did he mean by you two being technically coworkers in a way?

Red🩸: 1. He's not a demon, he's an abnormality, 2. We were both contained in a place called 'Lobotomy corporation' and we met each other that way

Tengen✨: I see

Judgement🦯: ...

Tengen✨: Oh-

Red🩸: Judgement, don't kill him, he's an ally

Judgement🦯: ... Very well, he may live

Tengen✨: So Red, what are we gonna tell Master?

Red🩸: We can bring him back there

Tengen✨: Just as long as he doesn't harm anyone

Red🩸: He won't, well I hope

Judgement🦯: As long as no one tries to harm or belittle me, I shall not attack anyone

Tengen✨: I guess we can bring him back

Red🩸: Great, let's get back to the base then

Tengen✨: Don't celebrate too fast, when we get there, he'll have to pass a test

Red🩸: What's the test?

Tengen✨: You'll see when we get there

*When they get back to the base and explain the situation*

Kagaya: Very well, Sanemi?

Sanemi💨: I got it *slashes his arm*

Judgement🦯: Red, what's going on, I literally can't see what's happening right now

Red🩸: Sanemi, or whatever his name is, just cut his arm

Judgement🦯, legitimately turning to Red: 𝘞𝘩𝘺?

Red🩸: No clue either

Sanemi💨: OI! DON'T IGNORE ME!

Red🩸, turning to Sanemi: SHUT UP, WINDBAG!

Judgement🦯: Really, right next to my ear?

Red🩸, turning back to Judgement bird: Sorry-

Kagaya: Well, seems like he passed

Sanemi💨: DAMMIT!

Red🩸: Sorry, I need more clarification on why he cut his arm

Kagaya: Well, he has special Marechi blood, which makes his blood more flavorful to demons

Red🩸: Yeah, well my bird friend here isn't a demon, he's an abnormality so it probably doesn't apply to him; besides, he doesn't even eat humans!

Kagaya: I see, I shall give you another mission tomorrow

Red🩸: Very well, however, I don't have a place to stay so-

Shinobu🦋: You could stay at my mansion!

Red🩸: ... Sure *turns to the birds* What do you two think?

Judgement🦯: Why not

Punishing🐦: *chirps in agreement*

Shinobu🦋: Great!

*They go to Butterfly mansion*

Shinobu🦋, showing them to a room with two beds and a birdcage: Here is where you'll be staying

Red🩸: ... I don't think Punishing will be alright in a tiny cage-

Shinobu🦋: Oh- Well, should I go get one of the birdhouses outside then?

Red🩸: Actually, maybe he could stay in the closet; if it's well lit enough, which we could probably make it that way by adding a lamp

Shinobu🦋: Oh, alright then, I'll grab one from another room then! *Goes to grab it*

Red🩸: *sits on one of the beds* Seems comfortable enough

Judgement🦯: *takes the sheets and pillow of his bed to make some sort of nest on the bed and proceeds to sleep in it*

Shinobu🦋, coming into the room after grabbing the lamp: I'm back- *sees what Judgement bird did* Wha-

Red🩸: Yeah, that happened the first time Manager gave him a bed so I'm not too surprised about it

Shinobu🦋: Ok then- *places the lamp on a nearby table* You can set the closet for the little bird yourself, right?

Red🩸: Yeah

Shinobu🦋: Alright then, I'll leave you all be *leaves*

Red🩸: *sets up the closet for Punishing bird*

*After Red gets ready for bed*

Red🩸: Goodnight, birdies

Birds🐦🦯: Goodnight

*The next day at the corps*

Kagaya: Your mission today is to go check the abandoned village of *name* because of rumors about two child-like demons living there, you will be going with Shinobu

Red🩸: My birds can come too, right?

Kagaya: Of course

*They go to the abandoned village*

Red🩸: Seems empty

Shinobu🦋: You explore over here, I'll explore over there!

Red🩸: K

Shinobu🦋: Call me if you found something! *Goes to the other half of the village*

*The sound of a sobbing little girl can be heard from behind Red and the birds*

Red🩸: Huh?- *turns around* Oh, hey Candice

Shy🔴: *running after Scorched girl* Candice, why did- Oh, hi Miss Red, little birdie and Mr. Judge!

Red🩸: Hey Shy, what are you two doing out here?

Shy🔴: Well, we sorta woke up here

Red🩸: I see

Shinobu🦋, running back to Red: There was nothing of use over there- Wait who are those two?

Red🩸: These kiddos are some abnormalities from the same facility I was in during my time there

Shinobu🦋: They're not demons, right?

Red🩸: Nope

Shinobu🦋: Guess we have to report back now

Red🩸: K

*They got back and reported to Kagaya*

Kagaya: I see, since we still have some time left tonight, how about another mission, Red?

Red🩸: Yeah, I can handle that

Kagaya: You shall go investigate the forest of *name* with Sanemi

Red🩸: Alright, kids, you stay with Miss Shinobu for now, alright?

Shy🔴: Ok!

*Red and Sanemi go to the aforementioned forest*

Red🩸: Why did I get stuck with you

Sanemi💨: Shut up, you're lucky you got sorted with a strong one like me!

Red🩸: Eh, whatever

*They go deeper into the forest and see a familiar someone giving some random demon therapy*

Demon: -And like, I don't know why I became a demon, I just woke up like this one day and went with it!

Destiny✝️, writing in her notebook: Mhm, yeah that's not the weirdest thing I heard in my life but ok, let it out

Red🩸 and the birds🐦🦯: DESTINY?!

Destiny✝️: Oh, hi Red

Red🩸: You're giving randos therapy now?

Destiny✝️: Well-

*Sanemi interrupts the Convo by beheading the demon*

Destiny✝️: MY PATIENT! Eh, whatever, he was boring

Red🩸: I- I don't know what to say about that reaction

Destiny✝️: Yeah, I don't give a fuck about him, he paid me in HUMAN PARTS AND NOT MONEY OR P.E. BOXES!

Red🩸: Wow

Destiny✝️: Yeah-

Sanemi💨: RED, STOP CHATTING WITH THE ENEMY!

Red🩸: SHE'S NOT AN ENEMY, SHE'S MY THERAPIST!

Destiny✝️: Guys, stop yelling, you're scaring the creatures here

*They hear a wolf howling nearby*

Destiny✝️, knowing full well what's gonna happen: Oh no

Red🩸: *immediately runs to the source of the sound*

Sanemi💨: Wha-

Judgement🦯: Welp, something's gonna die

Destiny✝️: Yep *casually starts praying*

Judgement🦯: I thought you weren't religious

Destiny✝️: I'm praying to One sin

Judgement🦯: That makes more sense

*Red comes back all bloodied up*

Red🩸: Right, Windbag, we gotta report back now

Sanemi💨: DON'T CALL ME THAT

Red🩸: Whatever, Destiny, you coming?

Destiny✝️: Sure

*When getting back and reporting*

Kagaya: Very well, you may take a break from missions for now

Red🩸: Aight

*A couple days later, Red is called to the corps*

Kagaya: Red, there have been rumors of a witch demon living around *name* forest, you and Uzui shall go and confirm the rumors

Uzui✨: Very well

Red🩸: Let's go

*They go to the aforementioned forest*

Red🩸: (He mentioned that the demon was a witch, perhaps it might've actually been Starlette?)

???🔮: Who goes there?

Red🩸: Hi sis

Starlette🔮, coming out of the shadows: Red! How are you? Haven't seen you in a while!

Tengen✨, going up to Starlette: Will you be my fourth wife?

Starlette🔮: ... No, I'm not interested, besides, my sister is literally going to kill you for even asking that

Red🩸: *bonking Tengen with the blunt end of her sickle* Ask my sister that again and I might as well kill you

Tengen✨: I'm sorry-

Starlette🔮: We should be glad Papa didn't hear that-

Red🩸: Yeah-

Judgement🦯: I can't see what's going on but it's probably funny

Red🩸: It kind of is

Judgement🦯: I'm... starting to reconsider some choices...

Starlette🔮, patting Judgement bird on the back: There, there

Tengen✨: Right, we, uh, should probably get back-

Red🩸: Yeah, we should

*They go back and see X tied up*

Manager✖️: For the last time, I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THESE DEMONS YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!

Sanemi💨: WELL, THEN WHAT WAS THAT BIG BIRD THING YOU WERE WITH?!

Manager✖️: HE'S JUST A FOREST CRITTER!

Sanemi💨: FOREST CRITTER, MY ASS! NO NORMAL BIRD HAS THAT MANY EYES OR IS THAT BIG! *Prepares to beat up X*

Abnos🩸🦯🔮: MANAGER?!

Manager✖️: Oh, hey guys, I got kidnapped

Red🩸: ARE YOU ALRIGHT?!

Manager✖️: Yeah, just untie me, please

Red🩸: Yes, sir! *Goes to untie him*

Sanemi💨: RED, WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU LISTENING TO HIM, HE'S ALLYING WITH A DEMON!

Red🩸: *unties him anyway* You mentioned that he was with a big bird with many eyes, right?

Sanemi💨: WHAT OF IT?

Red🩸: Punishing, Judgement, looks like we might've found your sentry! *Realization* Wait-

Manager✖️: We need to control ourselves near him

Red🩸: Yeah-

Manager✖️: Thanks for helping me Red, I'll help you find Big bird for you guys, alright?

Birds🐦🦯: *happy noises*

Manager✖️: Well, if I could find my way, that is-

Red🩸, turning to the Hashiras: Alright, guys, bring us to the place you found him

Shinobu🦋: I'm afraid we can't do that

Red🩸: Why?

Shinobu🦋: Because he might be allying with a demon, like we mentioned

Manager✖️: *sighs* That big bird wasn't a demon, he's an abnormality, which are anomalies I contained in my facility

Shinobu🦋: If that's the case, I'll help you! *Turns to her fellow Hashiras* Is anyone else gonna help?

Mitsuri💗: I'll go too!

Tengen✨: I shall go as well, Red was my student after all

Destiny✝️: I'll go too!

Shinobu🦋: Anyone else? ... Alright, guess it's just us then! Let's go guys!

*They travel to the place Big bird is in*

Shinobu🦋: This is the place we found him

*The Entrance to the Black Forest appears*

Shinobu🦋: What's that?-

Birds🐦🦯: *turn to X for assurance*

Manager✖️: You birds may go, just don't cause too much destruction

*Punishing bird and Judgement bird go in*

Manager✖️: Destiny, Red, Star, prepare

Destiny✝️ and abnos🩸🔮, preparing their weapons: Yes, sir!

*Big bird shows up and goes in*

Manager✖️: Welp, *pulls out Paradise Lost* this is gonna be fun, You three slayers stay back, we'll deal with this ourselves!

*Skip to when they finish suppressing Apocalypse*

Manager✖️: That was fun, What do y'all think?

Destiny✝️ and Abnos🐦🩸🦯👁️🔮: Yep, that was fun alright!

Tengen✨: What was that thing?!

Manager✖️: Apocalypse bird, a fusion of Punishing bird, Big bird and Judgement bird, also what it used was only about 10% of it's actual power

Shinobu🦋: It was that strong without using it's full power?! It must be stronger than Muzan!

Red🩸: Muzan?

Shinobu🦋: The demon king

Red🩸: I see

*A bunch of butterflies with the same color and pattern as Funeral appear*

Manager✖️: Ah, Funeral! Glad to see you!

Funeral🦋: Hello, Manager

Starlette🔮: Funeral! *Goes and hugs him*

Shinobu🦋: Who's that?

Red🩸: Funeral of the dead butterflies, one of the abnormalities contained in the facility

Manager✖️: Funeral, have you seen Frei?

Funeral🦋: No, but I do know he's around

Manager✖️: Lemme guess, got shot by his bullet?

Funeral🦋: ... Yes

Manager✖️ and Red🩸: Ha, same!

Starlette🔮: Dang, must be hard being not immune to BLACK damage

Destiny✝️: ... Stop showing off

Shinobu🦋: So uh- should we get back now?-

Red🩸: Sure