Summary : Louis needs a break from the mafia lifestyle .

A long and emotional one , sorry for your tears ):

Enjoy x

~~

Harry looked down at Louis , a frown on his face ; Louis' been deep in thoughts , not focusing on the movie he picked . It's been almost two weeks since he first noticed the slightest change in him , though Louis smiled through it and told him he was just in his thoughts and probably overthinking .

He held Louis closer and kissed his forehead , Louis looked up at him with a gentle smile and pressed a kiss to his jawline , before pressing his face against Harry's neck .

"Baby ."

Louis hummed , Harry rubbed up and down his arm that was laid across his middle , "You don't have to talk to me about it if you don't want to . I won't force you to . But know that whenever you're ready to talk , I'll be there ."

"I know ." Louis whispered , "I'm just thinking about things ... not even sure what . Still trying to make up my mind ."

Harry nodded and kissed his head , he gave Louis a squeeze , "I'm here for you , baby . Always ."

~~

The more time went by , the better Louis understood what he was feeling - and for some reason , it made him upset . He didn't know if he was upset with himself , upset with the situation , upset with the thoughts he was trying to push away - maybe it was a mix of it all .

The first step for him was understanding why he was off in the first place . Which he understood why he was feeling that way . The second step was trying to overcome it - but when a certain thought crossed his mind , he immediately pushed it away . He didn't want to get to that point .

Easier said than done ; the more time went by , the more sure of his thoughts he was . It upset him to think that way , it upset him that he had to get to that point . He was pushing everything away , pushing all the thoughts and feelings away - until he couldn't anymore .

~~

Thursday afternoon , Louis buzzed the door open to Harry's office in the building , pushing the door open and stepping halfway inside . "Hazzie ?"

Harry looked up from the computer screen , "Hey baby . Anything I can help with ?" He asked , "Come in , why are you standing at the door ."

Louis stepped into the office , hands trembling just a bit as he took slow steps towards Harry . He held his sweater paws in his hands , watching as the sun went down through the large floor-to-ceiling windows behind Harry's desk .

Harry pushed his chair back from the desk , "What can I help you with ?"

Louis bit his lower lip . "Can I -- ... can I have a hug ?" He asked quietly .

Harry's face softened , he stood up from the chair and wrapped his arms around Louis , while Louis wrapped his arms around Harry's middle .

"Everything okay ?" Harry whispered , frowning when Louis started crying , his face pressed to his chest as his shoulders shook . He held Louis tighter and leaned his head down to press kisses to his temple .

The work he had to get done was long forgotten as hie entire focus was on Louis ; finally after over a month of Louis looking out of it he was letting his emotions out , and Harry felt honoured that Louis trusted him .

Louis' cries quietened down , he was sniffling with tears still pouring from his eyes . "I j-just feel so bad ." He whispered , the lump in his throat barely allowing him to speak .

"Why , baby ? What's making you feel bad ?" Harry whispered back .

"M-Me . My thoughts . Wh-What I want . I feel s-so bad ." Louis cried again , his nails digging weakly into Harry's shoulders .

"Do you want to tell me about it all ?" Harry asked when Louis calmed down , Louis sighed , "I need to t-tell you . Can't hide it ." He pulled back from their hug and wiped his cheeks and eyes , "C-Can we talk when we're home ?"

"Of course baby ." Harry held his cheeks , thumbs tracing his cheekbones and the redness under his eyes . "I have some important things to finish here and I'm off , I'll be done in about an hour . Want to wait for me or go home ?"

"I -- I'll go home . Want to shower , change my clothes ." Louis sniffled , Harry nodded and kissed his forehead , "Okay . I'll see you soon ." He kissed him sweetly , taking his time before he pulled back , "Love you ."

"Love you ." Louis nodded , they kissed once more before Harry walked Louis to the elevators , where he kissed him one last time before watching Louis getting into the elevator .

Harry was home an hour and a half later ; he sped up his work and almost ran out of the office building , driving straight home to Louis .

Louis was sitting in the living room under a soft blanket , Harry gave him a kiss on the cheek , "Did you eat anything ?"

"Had tea and cookies ." Louis shrugged a bit , Harry turned to the table , where the empty mug and plate were sitting . "Hungry ?" He asked as he pushed Louis' fringe from his forehead , leaning down to kiss him there a few times .

Louis closed his eyes and melted against the kisses , "No , not much ."

"Want to talk now ?" Harry grabbed his hand , Louis laced their fingers together , "Go shower , I'll wait ." He watched as Harry kissed the back of his hand , Harry nodded and leaned in to kiss Louis' lips before going upstairs to shower .

Louis took the fifteen minutes it took Harry upstairs to breathe in and out ; he sorted out his thoughts and feelings , he was calmer , though wasn't sure about how ready he was to talk about it out loud . He needed to , though , for his own sake - for Harry's sake too .

Harry joined him downstairs , Louis turned the TV off and crossed his legs under the blanket , Harry grabbed Louis' empty mug and plate , "Want more tea ?" He asked as he walked towards the kitchen .

"Please ." Louis nodded , Harry fixed two cups of tea and refilled the cookies plate , going back to the living room . Louis thanked him quietly and turned in his seat to face him , Harry crossed one leg on the couch and reached his hand out to hold Louis' small one , waiting silently for Louis to talk .

Louis held Harry's hand with both his own small hands , he took a few more seconds to collect himself before looking up at Harry , eyes already a bit glossy .

"I know you noticed I wasn't myself lately . The last few weeks , I mean . You always notice everything ." He smiled weakly , thumbs tracing Harry's knuckles . "It took me this long to figure out what I was feeling , why - why I was feeling that way . A-And it made me feel bad . It still makes me feel bad . I don't know how to feel , and it's -- it's confusing ."

Harry kept quiet , his eyes never left Louis' face . He wanted -- needed -- to know , he wanted to help him through it .

"I realized , that ... this - this lifestyle - the mafia lifestyle , always having to look over m-my shoulder , all the scary stuff that come along -- these are so hard for me . It's easier to handle b-because you're there for me , but it's still so hard . It's hard that the one I love most comes with a very scary lifestyle ."

Harry reached his free hand to wipe a tear that fell from Louis' eye , staying silent still .

"I just -- sometimes I wonder what it's like to be anonymous . Not having people know who I am , people not wanting to kill me or kidnap me -- o-or -- or just hate me ." He sniffled , looking down at his lap , where his hands were holding Harry's hand tightly . "And i-it's making me feel bad b-because I love you s-so much and I don't want you t-to think that I don't l-love you . I love our lives so much , I-I'm so grateful for what I have with you - it's just so much at times ."

Harry felt his own chest tightening ; he knew his lifestyle was hard , and he wanted to do everything in his power to make sure Louis was okay , happy , satisfied , safe , cared for , loved .

"I d-don't want to break up - I don't , I don't . Please . I r-really don't . I just -- I think a need a b-bit of a break ."

The room fell silent .

Harry stared at Louis , his eyes a bit wide as he processed Louis' words .

Louis let go of Harry's hand and covered his face , crying quietly as he curled up , his knees pulling up to his chest . He felt Harry shifting closer , before his arms wrapped around Louis . Neither talked , Harry hugged Louis into him and rubbed his back as he let him calm down on his own .

Louis leaned his head on Harry's shoulder , forehead pressed  just above his collarbone . "I r-realized just how scared I was . I realized that -- that I'm nothing without you . I l-live with you and I'm not paying a single dollar . My - my job is at your building . I-If we -- hypothetically -- if we ended things between us , I have nothing . I'm so dependent on you a-and I don't know how I f-feel about this ."

He lifted his head up and placed his hand on Harry's cheek , who had a frown on his face though still kept quiet . He rubbed his thumb on Harry's cheek , "I love you s-so much . With everything in me . I'm so grateful you helped all th-that time ago . I just want to know that I can t-take care of myself ." He moved his thumb to trace and creases near his eye , "I'm - I'm done talking , if ... if you want to say something now ."

Harry leaned into Louis' palm , bringing his hand up to hold it against his cheek . "I'm sorry I failed to see how my life affected you , in a negative way . I knew it's a baggage , and I was hoping I could protect you from that part of me ." He turned his head to kiss the heel of his palm , "Tell me what you need . I'll give you anything ."

Louis bit his lower lip , "I'm -- I'm going to need a break ." He said in a quiet voice , before shaking his head , "Not from you - not from us . Please . I -- I just want to get away , for a bit . B-By myself ."

It made Harry's heart clench in his chest , yet he nodded . "Where will you go ? Where will you stay ?"

"I ... I don't know yet ." Louis bit his lower lip .

"When are you planning on leaving ?"

"Monday morning . If I find a place by then ." 

Harry held Louis' small hand with both his large ones , completely covering it . "I have four apartments in four different cities out of here , you can choose one of them ." He said , "I want you to choose one of them - so I know you're staying somewhere safe ."

"Harry ." Louis shifted closer , placing both his hands on Harry's shoulders . "When I leave , I won't tell you where I'm staying ."

Harry's heart skipped a beat , and before he could protest Louis continued , "I don't want you to know where I am , I don't want you to try to find me . No guards , no tracking me down , none of anything that could help you find me ."

"Baby --"

"Harry I'm serious . None of this ." He placed both his hands on Harry's cheeks , "Promise me . Promise you won't try to find me in any possible way ."

Harry swallowed thickly , his eyes were wide open as he stared at Louis . He didn't know if he could handle not knowing where Louis was ; if he was safe , if he was in pain , if anyone was trying to harm him . But he had to . He owed it to him .

"I promise ." Harry stared into Louis' eyes . "I promise ."

"Thank you ." Louis nodded , then pulled Harry into a soft kiss . Harry melted right into him , arms wrapping around his waist as he pulled him all the way into his lap .

"I only have one request ." Harry pulled back from kissing Louis , Louis wiped under Harry's lip , "What is it ?"

"Take Odin with you , at the very least . Don't want you to be completely alone ." Harry asked ; he didn't tell him the second reason why , which was to have someone protect Louis .

Louis nodded , "Okay ."

~~

They spent the weekend together , it was slow and yet went by too quickly ; they hugged tighter , kissed for longer , took their time feeling each other when they made love .

Monday morning was dreadful for the two of them ; Louis finished packing the last things into one out of three suitcases , Harry helped him load the trunk of his car . Louis put Odin in the backseat and closed the door , turning to Harry with glossy eyes when he shut the trunk . 

Harry gathered him in his arms , holding him tightly . "I love you ."

"I love you . I love you ." Louis nodded , tears pouring from his eyes .

"I'll wait for you , whenever you decide to come back . I'm here . I'm not going anywhere . This isn't a break up ."

"No break up ." Louis repeated , sniffling as they pulled back just a bit to kiss each other one last time before he left . Harry's hands gripped Louis' waist tightly , Louis' hands were on his cheeks .

They pulled back , Harry pressed one last soft kiss to Louis' lips before he opened the driver's door for him . 

Going to the office was weird .

Harry was itching ; he kept glancing at his phone , as if waiting for Louis to update him ; where was he , did he make it to the apartment safely , did he eat , did he manage to unload the car easily or did he struggle . Nothing .

He was itching to check on the box of keys in the ammo room , where he kept the keys of the four apartments ; he could see which one Louis took to atleast know where he was staying - though held himself back . He promised Louis , and he always kept his promises .

His day was slow . Way too slow . He busied himself with work , piled up everything he had to do and went through it one by one , taking his time to busy himself further .

By the time it was eight p.m he picked himself up and drove back to the mansion . One step inside already felt wrong ; there was no sound . Complete silence .

No sound of TV in the living room or the lounge area upstairs , no Louis to throw himself into his arms after the long day . 

He pulled himself upstairs and stepped into the master bedroom , only standing at the doorway and staring at the bed ; he wasn't sure if he could sleep there without Louis . He went to his side of the bed and put his gun and knife in the top drawer , before going to shower .

He finished and went to the closet , stopping at the entrace when he saw that half of the closet was empty ; another reminder that Louis left . Temporarily , yet still left . He pulled on a pair of boxers and left the closet , he got into bed and just laid there awake .

He didn't get a blink of sleep throughout the entire night .

~~

~~

The first four days were tough .

On the first day Louis busied himself with settling into the apartment ; he unpacked his suitcases , taking his time to organize everything in the closet . He set Odin's food and water bowls in the kitchen , filling both bowls while he continues unpacking .

He took Odin out for a walk , they explored the close area before Louis put Odin in the backseat of the car , driving to a nearby grocery shop . He filled his cart , Odin walking by his side wherever he went ; he could feel Louis' anxiety , the nerves , the uneasiness .

Louis paid and loaded the car , driving back home . He carried the bags into the apartment with Odin's help , letting the dog hold one of the bags with his mouth .

He unpacked the groceries and cooked himself a simple early dinner , eating quietly at the kitchen island . It was weird ; he didn't text or call Harry all day , didn't send pictures and pinned locations . He did look over his shoulder still , yet there was no one there .

It was nighttime , Louis was in bed with Odin laying with him . Within minutes he was crying into Odin , who let Louis hold him for as long as he liked .

Days two and three Louis barely left the apartment ; only took Odin out for his walks before burying himself under the blankets again . He missed Harry a lot , he was itching to pack up everything again and drive back . But he reminded himself why he was doing it in the first place .

On day four he picked himself up , fixed his appearance and went to look for a job . It's been too long since he went job hunting by himself . He didn't care about money , he just wanted to keep himself busy somewhere outside of the apartment .

It wasn't easy . On day nine he found a part-time job at a small diner in the corner of a main street in the city , he only had to clear tables and keep the tables and desks clean and do refills of products . It was enough for him .

Four shifts a week was all he got , it was enough to keep him distracted . Though not fully enough ; the first three weeks he cried at nights , cuddling with Odin who jumped into his arms to calm him down .

He missed Harry , the bed was empty , the place he stayed in was empty . Odin was good company and he loved his puppy with his entire heart , but he still wasn't Harry .

~~

~~

After the first night alone in the mansion Harry stopped going there . 

He busied himself with work for hours upon hours , distracting himself in every possible way . He filled his schedule with meetings , went on drives around the city , did a shit ton of paperwork . He brought gym equipment into his office ; a treadmill , plate weights and a bar , a punching bag .

No matter when he tried , he couldn't fall asleep . The moment he stopped , the moment he closed his eyes - he saw Louis . It broke him not to know where he was , if he was okay . So he just didn't sleep . He managed to sleep once in a few days , when his body was too exhausted and he passed out on the bed in the room behind the shelves for a few hours .

He was drinking coffee to keep himself awake for longer , until even that didn't help . He started mixing his coffee with alcohol , adding higher percentage of alcohol types every time the percentage stopped affecting him .

Liam and Zayn were worried about him ; they never thought it would happen . They were shocked when Harry broke the news to them about Louis leaving , as he wanted a break from the dangerous lifestyle . He even threatened to shoot them if any of them tried reaching out to Louis .

Every day that went by was a slow torture . He couldn't even count the days down - he was completely clueless as to when Louis would return . There were days he even wondered if Louis will ever return .

"Harry ." Zayn sighed as he watched him adding alcohol to his coffee . "You have to stop this ."

"I seriously wish I could ." Harry shook his head as he closed the alcohol bottle , then picked up the coffee mug and drank half of it in one gulp . "I fucking wish I could ."

"When was the last time you slept ?" Zayn crossed his arms over his chest .

"About two days ago ." Harry walked past him on his way to his desk .

Zayn followed him , "You're ruining you body like this , you have to sleep ."

"You think I don't fucking know that ?" Harry looked up at him as he sat down on his chair ; he was paler , his hair was a complete mess , dark bags under his eyes , his facial hair grew out . "I fucking wish I could just sleep normally ."

"What's stopping you ?"

"Every time I close my eyes -- every time I slow down to a stop and clear my mind -- I see his face . I see him smiling . I hear his voice , saying my name . It's fucking torture , Zayn . I can't slow down . I can't sleep . Even if I wanted to , my brain won't let me sleep . I just lay there awake , with his face flashing all over the place ."

Zayn frowned deeper ; he never imagined he would get to see anyone having this effect on Harry . Harry was strong , almost too strong at times . To see him crumbling down from loving someone so deeply was a world wonder . It also broke his heart .

He walked around the desk to put his hand on Harry's shoulder . "He will be back ."

Harry drank the rest of his coffee . "There are days that I wonder if he ever will ."

"He will ." Zayn squeezed his shoulder . "I'll go order you some proper food ."

~~

~~

Louis was torn in half .

A part of him felt almost too relaxed at the routine he picked up on in the last five weeks ; the small job he had , taking Odin on walks without people staring , grocery shopping - which he almost never did when living with Harry .

The other part of him missed Harry , missed the life he had with him . He missed waking up with him , missed their lunch dates , missed the training dogs . He missed having to tell Harry to put the gun away , missed watching him working out . Missed the way Harry made him feel , their hugs , their kisses . He even missed going places with him and have people see them ; he liked showing people that Harry was his .

He wasn't crying every night , which was a start . Every week that went by , he weighed things and thought them over . What did he want ? How was he feeling ? When would he be ready to go back ?

Every small thing remided him of Harry ; every night he went to sleep wearing either a jumper or a shirt he took of Harry's . While working in the diner , the scent of the black coffee made a smile twitch on his lips . Watching some corny action show on TV made him roll his eyes and think to himself , "Harry does it a lot better ." 

Before he knew it , two months went by . He was so caught up on 'not thinking about Harry' and 'distracting myself with everything I can do' that he didn't even notice it's been that long .

He fell back a few steps , Harry filled his mind twenty four seven . He missed him too much , couldn't distract himself anymore . He worked with Harry on his mind , walked Odin with Harry on his mind , went to sleep with tears rolling down his cheeks .

It was one evening after shower that he looked through the closet for a jumper or a shirt of Harry's to wear . His heart clenched in his chest when he realized none of them smelled like Harry anymore . He couldn't sleep that night .

The day after he gave his two weeks notice , letting the manager know he was leaving and couldn't stay .

For two , impossibly slow weeks Louis counted down the days . For two weeks all he had on his mind was HarryHarryHarry and Home .

The moment his last shift ended he grabbed all of his belongings and went back to the apartment , where he already packed everything . He showered as quickly as he could and got dressed in a pair of black leggings and one of Harry's jumpers , loaded the car and put Odin in the backseat , starting his journey back home .

~~

~~

Harry was on the edge of losing his mind .

He barely felt anything anymore . People took notice , yet didn't say a word . Not his guards , not Victor , not Laura .

Harry was falling apart piece by piece , going through his days on the edge of dropping everything to search for Louis .

He never knew he could feel that type of pain ; the emptiness , the massive hollow in his chest that only one person could feel . There were days he even checked if he still had a heartbeat .

It was on week fourteen without Louis .

He finished an afternoon meeting , parting ways with Laura , who collected her things to leave the office for the day , while he made his way to his office .

He opened the door , ready to throw himself into working out for the next two or three hours , though stopped two steps into the office . He saw Louis , his Louis , sitting on his desk holding one of the picture frames he had of the two of them cuddling in bed .

Louis looked up when the door opened , and once his eyes landed on Harry - standing physically a few feet away from him - it was like he could breathe again . He frowned as he took in his appearance ; the wrinkled clothes , dark bags under his eyes , messy hair .

Harry stared at him , hands trembling by his sides . He brought one hand up to rub at his eyes ; I'm hallucinating , I'm hallucinating him again . He was so sleep deprived that he was imagining Louis in front of him , he missed him too much that he was imagining things .

"H-Harry ."

And , no - that wasn't a dream .

Louis put the picture frame down and hopped off the desk , eyes never leaving Harry as his eyes filled with tears . Harry took slow steps closer , he didn't dare blinking ; he still thought he was hallucinating .

Louis bit his trembling lower lip , he wanted to throw himself at Harry , wanted Harry to hold him - he hoped he didn't ruin things between them .

"Tell me I'm not hallucinating ." Harry's voice was low , rough , scratchy - almost weak . Louis shook his head , a tear running down his cheek as he reached his hand out to press his palm to Harry's cheek , "I-I'm here , Hazzie .

Harry let his tense shoulders drop , he leaned his face into Louis' hand as tears filled his eyes , slowly pouring out one by one .

Louis' jaw dropped ; he'd never seen Harry crying . He stood on his tippy-toes and wrapped his arms around Harry's neck , Harry's arms squeezed tightly around Louis' waist as he let his tears soak Louis' neck and jumper .

"You're here . You're back ." Harry whispered into his skin , more tears pouring out . "You're actually fucking here ." He took in a shaky breath , "Oh , baby , I missed you . I love you . My baby , I love you so fucking much ." He crushed him tighter inside the hug .

Louis cried into Harry's neck , hands digging into his shoulders to hold onto him as tightly as hs could , "I love you . I m-missed you , so so much ."

They stood there , crying , not letting the other go . They never checked how long it took for them to stop the tears , only took their time to melt inside the other's arms .

Harry was the first to lift his head up just a bit to rub his face against Louis' cheek , "Kiss me ."

Louis didn't waste a second and pressed their lips together , holding the back of Harry's head to make sure he didn't pull back . The kiss was messy yet still sweet Harry picked Louis up and placed him on the desk , standing between his knees as they continued to kiss .

"H-Harry ." Louis grabbed Harry's head to slow him down , "Take us home ." He spoke against his lips .

~~

Harry took two suitcases while Louis carried the third (and smallest one) as they walked up from the basement garage to the first floor's lobby .

Harry let go of the suitcases and took Louis' suitcase from his hands , leaving them by the staircase , "I'll get these later ." He grabbed Louis' waist in his hands and kissed him , picking him up to carry him upstairs .

Louis wrapped his arms and legs around Harry , he pressed kisses to his lips and cheeks while Harry walked them up the stairs carefully and to their bedroom .

They kissed until their lips were swollen , undressed each other with soft and tender touches , caressed the bare skin anywhere their hands touched . Harry left lovebites everywhere he could on Louis' skin , Louis in return bit his neck and shoulders , scratched his back .

Two rounds later the two were laying in bed glued to each other ; nothing in the world could have separated them .

Harry was exhausted ; a bit over three months of barely sleeping was catching up on him . He fought to keep his eyes open , he was afraid of closing his eyes and opening them to see Louis gone again .

Louis pressed a gentle peck to Harry's lips , his thumb tracing the bags under Harry's eyes . "Go to sleep ."

"Want to see you ." Harry said quietly .

"I'll be here when you wake up ." Louis scooted closer to Harry , letting Harry wrap his arms around his waist with his face in his neck , falling asleep in seconds with Louis following right after .

~~

The couple woke up thirteen hours later in the same position they fell asleep in ; they were naked still , Harry's arms were around Louis' waist , his face now pressed to Louis' chest . Louis' arms cradled Harry's head , fingers tangled in his hair .

He pressed his lips to Louis' chest , kissing some lovebites from the night before . His hands caressed the bare skin of his back , moving to his tiny waist and hips .

Louis let a small smile stretch on his lips ; he rubbed his thumb on Harry's temple , "Good morning ."

"Good morning ." Harry lifted his head up to kiss him ; neither cared about morning breath .

Louis scrunched his nose , "Can we go shower ? Or -- or take a bath ? That would be better ."

"Shower or bath , then ?" Harry asked , pressing gentle kisses to Louis' cheek .

"Bath . A-And - you'll have to carry me there ." His cheeks turned pink , Harry squeezed his arms around him and kissed his cheek once more , "I'll always carry you ."

He sat up and pulled on a pair of boxers , while Louis sat up - with a bit of a difficulty - and wrapped the thin sheets around himself . Harry lifted him up in his arms and kissed him quickly as he walked them to the bathroom , he placed Louis on the bench and moved to start filling the tub .

Louis picked a bath bomb from the basket Harry took out of the drawer , Harry added the bath bomb to the tub and let it dissolve before turning to Louis , "Bath is ready , baby ."

He watched with fond , soft eyes as Louis stood up from the bench , he waddled closer to the tub before letting the sheets drop as he stepped into the tub , lowering himself down carefully .

Harry took his boxers off and joined Louis , sitting behind him when Louis scooted forward to make space for him . He wrapped his arms around Louis' waist and brought him to lay against his chest , both of them relaxed into each other and the hot water surrounding them .

Louis rubbed his hands over his arms and chest , then rubbed Harry's arms too , to wash away the sweat and stickiness . He then turned to Harry and grabbed the cup from the side of the tub , silently washing Harry's hair before massaging it with shampoo thoroughly to get rid of the stinking smell and the grease .

Harry watched him , eyes glued to every spot on his face ; he took in his beauty , his long lashes and deep blue eyes , his button nose and pink lips , his clean eyebrows and little tongue poking out as he concentrated on scrubbing every inch of Harry's hair .

He washed Harry's hair with the cup , running his fingers through it to get rid of the shampoo . He then took a small cloth and wiped Harry's face and neck , tracing the bags under his eyes .

"You look like you haven't slept ." Louis mumbled as he put the cloth away .

"I haven't ."

Louis pouted a bit , Harry only grabbed the cup from where Louis put it and let Louis turn with his back towards him , head tilted back . Harry washed his hair and used his vanilla-scented shampoo , taking in gulps of the scent as he massaged his scalp gently .

He washed the shampoo off with the cup before grabbing Louis' waist again , bringing him back to cuddle with him .

"Where did you stay ?" Harry asked quietly into his shouler .

"Ollensville ." 

(A/N : Completely made up a name . Don't try to google it .)

"Anything happened ? Anything at all ?"

Louis shook his head , "Was quiet ." He let a small smile stretch on his lips , "Way too quiet ."

"Tell me what you did . I'd love to know ." Harry moved his head to press his nose to Louis' hair .

"Found a part-time job . Took Odin to the park until he was sick of it . Went grocery shopping ." Louis shrugged , "That was about it . Quite boring . You ?"

"I worked ." Harry paused . "Worked-out ."

Louis slowly sat up and turned to face Harry , "You're not telling me a lot of what you really did . I smelled alcohol in your coffee cups on the desk . The bed in the room behind the shelves was messy , and this one was untouched . You have bags under your eyes , and you - you cried last night . I never saw you crying , Hazzie ."

Harry took Louis' hands in his , kissing his knuckles . "The first night you left I couldn't sleep . Couldn't sleep by myself in our bed . Every time I closed my eyes I saw you . I distracted myself with work , over-worked to keep myself busy . Managed to sleep every four or five days , when my body was too exhausted . Worked out to pass the time . Drank coffee to stay awake , started adding alcohol when the coffe itself wasn't enough . The lack of sleep made me hallucinate you in the past two weeks . Last night I thought I was hallucinating again . But you were really there ."

Louis' eyes filled with tears again ; he felt so bad he made Harry go through that .

"I was so relieved to see you , that you were physically there , that you were okay . I missed you so much ." Harry wiped under Louis' eyes .

"I m-missed you too ." Louis nodded , Harry kissed him softly , "What made you want to come back ?"

"B-Beside missing you so much ?" Louis chuckled through tears . He sniffled , "I love you with my everything . I love our lives together . It can be scary , but I have you and I trust you with everything and I know we can make it through it all . I'd choose this crazy life with you by my side over a boring life where every day just looks the same every day for as long as you'll have me ."

Harry cupped his cheeks and kissed him , "I'll do everything in my power to keep you safe , I'll give you everything you want ."

"I want you . I want us ." Louis nodded , Harry kissed him again , "I'm yours , baby . All yours ."

"I love you ." 

"I love you baby ."

~~

Dry your tears loves , hope you liked it x

*will be edited in the next day or two so forgive me for any mistakes*

~Author