I was in my dorm. Stacey and PJ were cuddling on his bed asleep and Bobby was knocked out on his bunk. I was the only one one laying awake and staring at the wall somberly. I couldn't sleep, how could I? Especially after what happened last night... it was too much. I sighed knowing I needed the sleep since I had an test tomorrow. So I shifted onto my other side and stared silently at the alarm clock which read "3:24 am" fuck.... Im in some deep shit now. If I can't sleep then I'm completely fucked for this upcoming test tomorrow.

I managed to sneak 30 minutes of rest before the test had come at 8:30 am. Fucking hell. I knew I was in for some shit but I didn't know that the events of what had been happening recently would fuck me over this badly. I looked at the questions and felt completely lost and disconnected from the subject entirely. How in the fuck was I supposed to pass? Not only that but because I was so fatigued I had begun to space out due to the fact I was so utterly exhausted. I kept on thinking of Bradley, Bradley, Bradley and the thought of him never left my mind.

I hadn't even completed the test. I was the last one in that room and sighed as the professor took my paper away. This routine continued. I would zone out during class, zone out during homework, spam Bradley's messages begging him to talk but he would only leave me on seen or delivered. I was being ignored. I didn't talk to PJ nor Bobby. I had completely isolated myself wrapped around my own guilt. I should've listened to Bradley instead of going against his wishes. Everything had been completely ruined after we just were becoming closer to one another again.

It's been three days since the event and I can't get it out of my head. The guilt had consumed me and I needed to see Bradley now. I couldn't wait any longer. I texted him "Bradley?"

"Are you there?"
Delivered

"Bradley I need to talk to you"
Delivered

"Fine then I'm coming"
Delivered

I think he thought I was joking but no I was dead serious. I grabbed my keys and was heading out of my dorm only for Bobby to ask "where ya headed?" "Out" I replied and slammed the door behind me. I ran down the stairs and got into my car driving over to the Gamma house. I called Tank while doing so for him to pick up "hey Max, what's up baby?" He asked "Is Bradley at the Gamma house?" I asked "yeah? Why do you ask?" "Good. Make sure he doesn't go anywhere" I asked "ummm... okay?" He replied confused before I had hung up the phone. I needed to talk to Bradley, it was killing me inside.

When I had arrived I parked without thinking. My parking might've been shit who knows. I was to busy thinking of what I wanted to say to him. What did I even want to say? Nothing. I just wanted to see him. I opened the door to the frat and walked inside looking around. I saw the other Gammas stare at me confused as I passed by them. The tension grew heavier... why was the gamma house so dark? It felt so demonizing in here. I walked up the stairs and used the hand rails to keep my balance. Before I knew it I had made it to Bradley's dorm.

I knocked on his door shouting "I'm coming in!" And I opened the door to find Bradley sitting at his desk. He was writing something, what I assumed was homework before he looked up at me. I froze seeing his black eye and instantly felt responsible for that.... He looked at me in anger "get out! Now!" He shouted as I closed the door behind me. Signaling to him that I wasn't going to leave. "Go!" He shouted standing up and pointing to the door "no, I'm not leaving until we talk things out!" I replied as he looked at me disgusted by my efforts "excuse me? Talk what out? There is nothing to talk about here so leave!" He demanded "no! You've been avoiding me for three days!" I shouted trying to get him to listen "you don't know why I've been avoiding you? You completely disregarded my feelings in the situation and you still went on to betray me!" He replied pointing at me "I had to do it! There was no other option please! I had to do what benefited you! What benefited us!" I shouted and noticed him gritting his teeth in fury towards me. " you could've got me killed!! You could've gotten yourself killed! You know how my father is!"

"But I also know how you are! You wouldn't last a day in prison!" I replied accusing him of being a mad man for even considering that he could've lasted in there " so what are you insinuating?! That I needed you?" He asked me as I groaned " well in the moment yes you did! You're free and you still have a future ahead of you!" I replied desperately to have him hear me out " no no no! If anything you needed me!" He shouted as I stared confused "what?" I asked.

He tried to hold himself together as he pointed towards me " you were NOTHING! When you started college. The only reason why you got the recognition you have is because of our rivalry. You were NOTHING! And I made you into this... this champion skate boarding x-games winner. I was on top and because you won last year and dethroned me you became somebody" he replied. This comment had me stunned into silence, I couldn't believe that he thought so low of me... " at least I am my own person... what are you? Just your fathers pawn?" I asked as he took a deep breath in and out "I follow rules, I get good grades and I have a stable future ahead of me. You haven't even decided what you're going to be majoring in. If anything I have myself put together already mean while your 'go with the flow' attitude will forever hold you down." He replied. I felt my heart shatter.... "Fuck you Bradley..." I nodded as I felt tears well up in my eyes " you think of me that lowly then fine..... you know what's funny? Is that when I was in high school I fucking looked up to you. I wanted to dethrone you because I knew you were some hot shot and a talented skater but now you're nothing but some phony. You used the gammas to help your little ego boost when you know you aren't shit" I snapped back. I couldn't just let him talk to me like that. "No Max, no you don't get to say anything, like I said you were nothing without me and now you're even admitting it. You were so envious of me and my successions and you took it all away. I made you phenomenal. You got what you wanted so take your stupid title and leave me alone."

He looked at me disgusted.... That look made me feel like I genuinely was nothing "you were my everything... now that I know what you really are.... I do feel like the stupid one. Fuck I can't believe I let myself get so caught up in all this bull shit!" I shouted rubbing the bridge of my nose annoyed. "You didn't have to get involved. I never asked you of anything." He said a sigh as he sat back down in his chair "but I did because-"he interrupted me "because what? Because you felt bad for me? Because you thought I needed your help so you can feed your savior complex?" He asked " because I loved you.... I loved you so much Bradley..." I felt tears welling in my eyes as I walked over and grabbed his hands. I fell to my knees as he stared at me shocked " you were my everything and I needed you... I needed you more than you needed me. I wanted you around. The time we spent apart because of your stupid wedding planning, I had never felt so low in my life. I did what I did back in the prison for selfish reasons. I did it because I couldn't stand the thought of being apart from you again Bradley please." I sobbed and rested my forehead in his hands. I felt his hands briefly squeeze mine in silence.

"Bradley I wouldn't do anything to purposely hurt you but that was the only way. I had nothing else left. I just wanted you here with me..." I sobbed. I felt so desperate " you're wrong about everything. I'm not phenomenal and on most days I feel like this empty shell if it weren't for you" I admitted. "You don't mean that. You don't want me to leave please Bradley..." I begged and pleaded. But I was too scared to look into his eyes. I didn't want to see that same disgusted expression again "Bradley say something. Please. Why am I the only one talking?" I asked realizing now that I was shaking.

" Max.... Please let go.." he asked as I squeezed his hands tighter "no" I begged "Max you're hurting me!" He shouted. "Please Bradley... just give me one more chance... just one" I sobbed breaking down completely. "These past three days I've felt so guilty. I need you so badly. You're right I'm nothing without you so please don't let me go"

"Please Bradley...."