The waves could never hurt me. They were my happy place- well, the beach was. I wasn't the biggest fan of going into the ocean, but the beach was a calming place to sit and cool off for a while.

    I spent so many days and nights at this exact beach with Baywatch during our TOPGUN days. Neither of us had family for family weekend, so we'd come down here instead to do whatever we wanted. Talked, enjoyed the silence, and sometimes we'd play random beach games.

    So when my car drove me here and my feet carried me to the exact place on the sand, I started sobbing. It's like the tears were wanting for this moment. There was a stone at the top of the sand near the parking lot that we scratched our initials into along with BFF, because we're teenage girls.

    We were.

    My eyes were dried up at this point and I felt overly dehydrated from all the crying. I didn't know how to go back to my place or even training after walking out like that. Not only would Maverick be pissed off, but Hangman would be smug as ever and the Admirals would be even more mad. I could get kicked out of the mission completely.

    My ears perked at the sound of footsteps in the sand behind me. They were heavier than Nat's, so I figured it was the mustached pilot coming to give me the same treatment I had the day before.

    As much as I appreciated the sentiment, I didn't want this right now. "Go away, Rooster. I'm not in the mood."

    "Well I'm sure if Rooster were here, he'd listen."

    I turned around to see Maverick standing there instead, in civilian clothes. Right, I was still in my flight suit, not even stopping to change into something less... sweaty.

    Turning back around, I sighed. "I'm not looking for a lecture right now, either, so please just save it," I said. My knees, which had been tucked up to my chest, were the perfect spot for me to rest my chin as I sat and continued to watch the waves.

    "You're O for two," Maverick said. Confused, I turned to see him moving to sit down next to me. He looked over at me and I looked away. Wherever this was going, I wasn't sure I wanted to go there.

    He sighed and mimicked the way I was sitting. "Losing people is part of this job. It sucks- no one said it didn't- but it isn't unexpected."

    We were going there. "This feels different than just having to deal with losing a wingman," I muttered.

    Maverick nodded and then looked out to the ocean. "In my TOPGUN days I flew with my best friend from flight school. We got called in together, got this opportunity together. Lieutenant Nick Bradshaw, callsign Goose."

    My eyes went wide and I gasped. "The same?"

    "The very same. Part of why he doesn't like me so much," he confirmed.

    I looked back out on the ocean as more puzzle pieces connected. "That's why you pulled his papers, isn't it?" I asked after a moment of silence. My head turned back to look at him.

    Nodding, he said, "Part of it." We were quiet again as I waited to see where he was going. After another beat, he went on. "It should've been routine, but I got caught up in my wingman's jet wash and couldn't regain control. He punched us out, but he hit the canopy as he did. Killed him instantly."

    How do I respond to that? Luckily, he wasn't done, so I didn't have to yet. "I still feel like it's my fault sometimes. There isn't a day that goes by where I don't roll through everything I could've done differently that would've saved his life. But that won't bring him back, believe me, it would have by now."

    Well, that got a small laugh out of me.

    He sighed. "No matter what, it's not going to bring them back. The only thing you're doing is hurting yourself even more, digging your own grave. I'm not saying to move on and forget, I'm saying you need to find a way to live with it. In a way that won't distract you."

    When he didn't continue this time, I figured he wanted me to say something. "But it wasn't your fault. Jet wash isn't exactly that visible. I..." The rest of the words were stuck in my throat.

    It actually is my fault. I should've done better.

    "It's not your fault, Sunset. I saw your file, I saw the report on the attack. And that's what it was: an attack. Those are always risky, there's always that chance. We... we think we're good enough to always be the winner, but sometimes we're not and it's okay."

    Somehow, the tears I thought had been drained to the last bit, were flowing again. This time I was at least not sobbing loudly; this was less embarrassing. "It doesn't feel okay."

    A moment of silence from him, and then an arm came around my shoulders and brought me into a side hug. "It's not going to be for a while. They were assholes for making you speed-run your recovery. But I promise, one day, it will be."

    I sniffed one last time and nodded. He was right, and he understood. It would be okay, I just had to start taking those little steps toward 'okay.'

    "Should probably go back and get out of my flight suit," I whispered, laughing a bit. Maverick did, too, and helped me up from the sand. We quietly walked back to the parking lot, where I saw his bike and my car. "Thank you," I said quietly when we got to the splitting point.

    He smiled. "Don't worry about it. Or the consequences tomorrow, I'm talking to them about it. I'm just glad you didn't try to punch Hangman."

    I smiled. "I wanted to, sir, but I figured that wouldn't be very good for me."

    "You thought right," he said. I gave him a small smile then turned to my car to go back to the housing.

    There wasn't a doubt in my mind that Natasha would want to make sure I was okay. Maybe Rooster, but Nat no doubt. She knew what happened, and if Bagman didn't out the whole story to the class, she's the only one.

    I parked my car behind the units and when I got out, slamming the door shut, I saw Nat walking towards me. Right away she knew exactly what to do, and opened her arms up. Smiling sadly, I opened mine and met her in a hug, starting to feel the tears again.

    "Come on, we're gonna go drink some wine in my place, okay?" she asked. I nodded. We got out of the hug, but she kept her arm around my shoulders to lead me inside.

    We didn't say anything as we walked in, ensuring no one was going to hear anything they shouldn't. Inside Nat's place, I dropped onto her couch as she walked over to grab the wine. "Bring the whole bottle!" I called to her.

    "Absolutely not, one glass babe. That way you're not wine drunk. That's not fun for you," she called back. A few moments later, she was coming back with two full wine glasses.

    I noted her civvies and realized I was still in my sweaty, sandy flight suit. "Oh shoot- I'm so sorry I forgot I was wearing my flight suit still," I said, immediately going to stand up.

    She just shook her head and pushed one of the wineglasses into my chest to stop me from standing. "Technically not my couch, so I don't entirely care that much," she said and sat next to me. "Now talk. I was really worried when I couldn't find you anywhere."

    After a sip, I smiled and sighed. "Sorry about that. I kinda just started running and ended up driving to Baywatch and I's spot on the beach. Barely registered it all until I was listening to the waves." I didn't say anything for a second, and then, "Maverick found me."

    Nat stopped her drink short and looked at me. "Really? What'd he say?"

    "Well, at first I thought it was Rooster. Then I told him to leave if he was just gonna yell at me. Instead, he told me about Rooster's dad... his old back-seater." I said.

    When Nat cringed, I was lost. "What?" I asked.

    "After you left, Rooster came to your defense against Bagman. But he wasn't safe either, brought that exact thing up before Rooster nearly jumped the guy," she explained.

    "Damn, and here I wanted to do the same thing," I said, somewhat sad on the missed opportunity to do that myself, or even watch.

    Nat raised an eyebrow at me. "You just swore. I think I should start keeping track, make you pay me a dollar or something every time you do," she teased.

    I rolled my eyes and went to push her with my free hand. "Yeah yeah, just don't go snitching on me to the others. I'm just so sad I missed out on that. What happened after?"

    She shrugged. "Class got dismissed. I guess that's when Maverick started his hunt to find you. I did, too. Looked around but didn't know where to check and figured you'd come back here at some point. Rooster did, too. Had to pry him off your front step."

    "Really?" I asked, my voice quiet.

    She nodded. "Yep. Told him, in the nicest way I knew how, that you just needed time and that you'd talk to him when you were ready," she said then took a huge drink of wine.

    "I'm sorry, what?" I took my own huge drink. "I guess that's fair. And you and Halo were right. I like him in this dumb, middle school way. It's gross."

    Nat only laughed at me. "Oh come on, I think you guys would be super cute together. He's really a nice guy, just met him at a bad time with Maverick and all that."

    "Yeah, feel like I've gotten to see some of the worst, though, and I haven't run yet. I'm just hoping that he's the same." I finished off my wine glass and set it down on her coffee table. "You sure we can't have more? It is the weekend tomorrow..."

    She sighed and rolled her eyes. "One more glass, but I'm not getting up to grab the bottle."

A/n: Father figure Mav is one of my favorites to read/write because it's just so nice. When you're away from home, it's nice to have a father figure around.

Apologies for the late post, I've been hanging with my mom today!

See you next chapter! How are you feeling so far?