My head is pounding as I wake up, surprisingly I remember everything from last night's events. I groan rolling over into my pillow, I know that I need to get up and and take something for my head before getting into a nice hot shower. I also need to brush my teeth, nothing is grosser than having bad morning breath after a night of drinking. Yet all I can do is lay here in bed and wonder why Stefan got in the bed behind me, at one point in the night I woke with his arms wrapped around me and I let myself snuggle into him. His breath hitting my neck made chills go down my spine and all I did was go back to sleep. I bet he got a good night's sleep considering where he has been sleeping since 2008. Not to mention that my bed is the fucking bomb, seriously everyone loves it, so I know he must've slept well. Why did he do that? He can't do these things, not now that so much time has passed, not now while he's pretty much getting back into a relationship with Tessa or whatever their calling themselves. I jump up and head into my bathroom, I don't even want to look into the mirror right now. I know that I'll look like someone who belongs in the freak show for sure, so instead I grab a few Advil, drink some water from the faucet and head for the shower. When I emerge from my much needed cleansing I throw on my robe, brush the funk out of my mouth and go in search for anyone who might have crashed last night. I hear pots banging around in the kitchen and it doesn't help my head at the moment. I can see that its dark outside, that brings a smile to my face, oh the love I have for rainy days.

Then I freeze, Stefan is standing in the kitchen shirtless, in nothing but a pair of black sweats cooking breakfast. God why did you have to grace this man with such a perfect body? I can't stay hidden forever so I decide to suck it up and join him. "Feel better?" he asks me never looking up as he flips the link sausages in the pan. "A little." That's all I say to him while I grab a glass from the cabinet before pouring orange juice into it. "Hopefully this food will make it better." He replies while I sit on a bar stool and watch him move around my kitchen effortlessly. Stefan has always been an amazing cook and him being out of commission for the past five years hasn't messed up his skills. "Where is everyone?" I am trying to be as nice as I can without bringing Tessa up. Finally he looks up and when our eyes meet I feel my heart beat in my throat. Why can't I just move the fuck on like normal people? Or maybe that's it, maybe people don't really move on they're just hiding it really well. "It's 3 o'clock in the afternoon, they all left around 12." I raise an eyebrow at that. "And yet you stayed and you're cooking breakfast for a late lunch?" I'm confused as to why he is still here with me, I'm not sure this is good. Why isn't he out with Tessa, 'getting back into society' as he put it. "I happen to know that you love to eat breakfast after drinking all night, I had nothing better to do and didn't want to leave you alone. Also, I think that we need to talk." Great! Just fucking great! I shrug, "Talk about what Stefan?" He just smirks and that's it, no explanation. "Let me eat first." He nods and slides the plate over to me, I look down at the scrambled eggs, link sausages and biscuits. My favorite breakfast food after a night of partying. Stefan stays on the other side of the counter and we eat in silence thank God! I scrape the last few bites of eggs off my plate and slide them into my mouth almost moaning from the delicious taste, "I'm going to put some clothes on, be back in a minute." I lie, instead I jump back into bed and will myself to not think about anything.

Soon I'll be back in New York City doing what I love and none of this will have mattered anyway. Yes, I am going back, my mind is made up and I really need the cash, no way am I going back to the white trash way of living, I'm not going to live like the girl I used to be. Not when I have another opportunity to do what I'm good at with a better organized company. The damn degree I got in college isn't being put to use here anyway. After about 20 minutes Stefan walks in and pulls the covers from my head. "I don't remember you being this stubborn." I can tell that he's pissed, Stefan crosses his arms over his chest and stares down at me. "I'm not being stubborn Stefan, I don't feel good." I try to grab at the sheet, but he's faster than me and yanks them back. "I tell you that I want to talk to you and you bolted from the room." I sit back against the headboard and sigh, "I don't know what there is to talk about. I thought we got out everything yesterday?" Stefan leans against my wall and raises his eyebrows, "How about getting everything off your chest? Knowing you, I'm sure you've got a lot more to say." I roll my eyes and indulge him, the faster this gets done the faster he'll leave. "Fine Stefan I'll give you what you want. We were dating and you willingly worked for that piece of shit for whatever reason, then you went to prison for five damn years only to show up at my house shocking the hell out of me. Oh and after our little make out session there were some hard words to say and agreements made. I know we needed to have that little chat, but it wasn't easy for me to do. Not when i didn't even know that you were going to be here. Not to mention your other ex shows up at MY fucking house!"

He nods his head, his face giving nothing away and that pisses me off. "Keep going Elena." Stefan says and I sigh loudly, "I had to hear that she's been able to visit you and help you over the years, that you two are pretty much a fucking couple again, that hurt a lot. More than I like to admit actually, but what the fuck can I do about it? We are just a thing of the past and that's all we'll ever be, a moment in time." I have tears in my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall. I will not let Stefan Salvatore break me again, this is over and I am done. Stefan joins me on the bed when he's sees my tears, he looks compassionate, sorry even but I can't let this go, not now. "I didn't want you to see me like that Lena, I wanted you to remember me like I was when we were together. Tessa, with her it's different, she didn't care that I was in prison, she just wanted to be there for me." I jump up from the bed and yell at him. "And I wouldn't have been there for you Stefan? You don't think I would've been there for you? Yeah, I was upset and pissed that you were in prison, but it was because I loved you. I knew that you were better than that!" I can't help but to let the damn tears run down my face, I'm so fucking hurt and pissed off. "You have no idea what it was like to be here without you, my world was wrecked, fucking wrecked! You didn't want to be near me or speak to me, that killed me Stefan! You once told me that no one knew you like I did, that I was the only person to ever be let into your heart. You said that you were wrecked in the best fucking way because you loved me! That Tessa nor any of the fucking sluts you had relations with mattered, that they couldn't compare to me." Oh yes I let him have it, this is what he wanted right?

"Motherfucking Tessa Cortez, the same old trailer trash who has literally fucked and sucked every man and some women in this town, she is what still does it for you?" He glares at me but I don't stop, I can't. "Let me guess, is it because you two have so much in common with a criminal background, is that what made her good for you? Does that mean that you two can bond over the fucked up things you've done and witnessed in your life?" I want to hurt him so bad! I want to cause him pain in so many ways! He simply nods his head and walks towards me, my chest is heaving and my eyes wide, "I loved you Elena, I did. But to be honest we were kidding ourselves, there's no way we could've lasted. You grew up with a loving family, your parents and brother may have done shady things and were pretty fucking poor and white trash, but you had their love". Stefan closes his eyes for a moment, he's trying to control his temper. "Damon is still here and you still have your brother's love." He says once his eyes are back on me, I throw my head back and laugh like an evil villain he is so fucking irritating.

"You may not have been in the dark with the shit they did, but you sure as hell wasn't apart of it for good Goddamn reasons. Everyone knew that you're different. You may be one hard fucking bitch who thought school was pointless, beat any bitches ass who stepped to you and learned how to roll a blunt before you learned to fucking drive, but in the end you did the right thing. You took your ass to school, you stopped fucking around with dumb ass fuck boys and made it out of that damn trailer park. Sweetheart, look where its gotten you." He steps back and I'm glad for the space between us. Yeah it got me being a model in New York the first go around with a cocaine addicted agent who loved him some women, other shit that happened before making it as a model made my life fucked up before I ever left here. Yay me and my perfect fucking life, I am so damn different! Ha what a laugh. If he only knew. I stare into his eyes and grit my teeth. "You're better than me, you've got so much going for you and I don't see what we really had in common except for your brother and sexual attraction really Elena, I guess that's what made me love you. Our sexual chemistry was fucking intense and I loved you for it, I found my match in you. Other than that do you think we were good together? I mean Tessa on the other hand, she gets me like you can't and there's nothing wrong with that, it shows that you're not fucked up like she and I are."

I shake my head at him, why is he doing this? Did those words just fucking leave his mouth or am I dreaming? Ok so he loved me because we had sexual attraction, because we were good in the sack? Is he fucking kidding me? Is he really acting like the Stefan he was before we got together? The asshole man-whore? So we weren't right for each other because I'm not fucked up like him and the fucking gutter slut? I'm not trying to be with him, how can he want this conversation and try his best to let me know that his other ex is a better fit? Does he not know that I'm going to lose my shit over this? "You know what Stefan you're right, you and her are alike and I know this because just like her, you make me want to slap the fuck out of your face. If you want to get back with someone who has fucked more guys than I can count, someone whose pussy is nothing but a gaping hole with sores I'm sure, who works at the nastiest strip club in town then be my guest. You do that, but don't for one second think that she'll love you and be loyal. I mean you should know already, she cheated on you with your friend Zack." I laugh at him uncontrollably now. "Don't be shocked when you catch her riding someone else's dick or surprised when you find a dirty needle in the bed, oh and be sure to use condoms, no telling what she has." He stares at me coldly, I know I hit a nerve with him, I mean he found her in bed with his foster brother! He had known the guy since they were 10 and were good friends or so Stefan thought! "Really Stefan, its no secret that she's a junkie either. You of all people know that its true." Yeah let's downgrade and not upgrade, still I'm not saying that he should pick me, but he can do so much better than her.

Hell I may have come from white trash, but there was never incest in my family, we all have perfect teeth, can read and write. Also my brother and I aren't junkies who've been strung out on everything. Sure we've done drugs, but neither one of us has dared to put a needle in our arms, Damon even did coke a few times, but that was short lived and he regretted it. I regret the small amount of shit I did, but it wasn't fucking heroine. Maybe that was Stefan's thing, get off on junkie sluts. Maybe the guy I loved is fucked in the head. I really was an upgrade and that makes me smile considering he's going right back to her and I am moving on. I really needed this, but there is no way in hell that I am finished with my rant. Before I can say anything else, I get pushed against the wall, he's trapping me. Both hands are on the sides of my head and his body is pressed into mine, "You have no idea what it's like to have been raped by your cousin, forced to do drugs by your mom who doesn't care that she's ruining your life, you don't know what its like to have to do whatever it takes to survive, even if that means stripping for old nasty fuckers. You've had a cake walk of a life compared to that girl!" He yells at me as his hand lifts and slams against the wall right next to my head, I tremble just a bit.

"We all choose the life we end up leading Stefan, so fuck off and stop making excuses for some townie tramp!" I bark out. "And how do you know what the fuck I've been through huh, you were gone!" I'm shouting so loud that my voice is getting hoarse. "You have an assumption of what my life's been like for the past five years, I may have went to New York and done some modeling work while I took my college courses online. I went to Duke first then went through the online classes after I got the job in New York. I came back home with money and a fucked up head. No never mind, scratch that my head was fucked up before I left for New York, you don't know what the fuck I endured. Stefan you don't know what hell I've been through!" Finally I push past him and walk to my closet, my tears won't stop. I don't want to think about any of it, so I busy myself finding clothes to put on. If he won't leave my house then I sure as hell will, fuck him and his poor little Tessa. For the fucking record she willingly slept with her cousin for fucking blow and spun the story to get Stefan to be on her side when shit started going south for them, a week later she was in bed with Zack. His dumb ass doesn't know that shit though. "What Elena, tell me what's been so bad for you to go through?" He shouts, he doesn't believe that I had a horrible go at things, his sarcastic tone tells me that much. "I want to know what you went through to make you think you're in the same category as Tessa and her fucked up life." I drop my robe in silence and throw on a yellow lace sleeveless dress that poofs out and stops at my thighs. I come back out into my bedroom, Stefan is standing at the entrance of my closet, I brush past him and open my underwear drawer. After getting a pair of thongs on he grabs my arm gently and turns me to face him. "Did you come up blank?" He asks with a gleam of disgust in his eyes.

I yank my arm away from him and step back a few feet, I can't believe he's treating me this way. He wants to know what I went through? He wants to know how bad life got for me? How I went through shit after he went to prison? Fine, I'll give it to him. "Tell me what you think about this Stefan, 17 year old girl found beaten in a alley, miscarries unborn child at just 2 months of pregnancy. Or how about 19 year old girl gets drugged and raped at a prestigious penthouse party in L.A. by her fucking boss and his friend. The girl's best friend walks in on the scene and calls cops while the guys are scrambling to act like it was not that big of a deal. Then months later after trying hard to cope with past events, dealing with school trying to forget it all the girl goes home for a break and tries to kill herself after running into a trailer trash bitch named Tessa. She cracks a joke about the loss of the unborn child and then a downward spiral happens. Her best guy friend known as Matt catches her with a gun to her head and successfully stops her. Then she is forced to tell her brother about the rape and the almost suicide that he had no clue about. Not to mention the pills that she had become addicted to thanks to her modeling agent, got to stay in tip top shape and that means wide awake. I may not be a junkie, but I fucking loved pills. The more they gave me the more I craved them, it helped not thinking about everything that had happened, but everyone eventually hits their breaking point Stefan. Even the poor little sweetheart Elena Pierce."