TRIGGER WARNING : panic attacks and self harm stuff in detail up ahead

Virgil POV :
"And that's why Logan is no longer allowed in the kitchen."  Said Thomas while laughing.  The other sides laughed with him, not Virgil though.

I sat there on the steps, compelled zoned out.  But that's when I felt it. 

Those first little wisps of anxiety in my stomach.  I grimaced as the anxiety grew worse and I started shaking. 

FREAK!  WHY ARE YOU EVEN ALIVE?!  YOU WERE A MISTAKE. 

I flinched at the voice screamed at me in my head, only raising my anxiety worse. 

I tried to breath but couldn't get anything.  I felt myself begin to hyperventilate. 

Oh is the weakling going to cry?  Do you need to panic again?  You should cut again

At that point a full blown panic attack started.  I started gasping for breath and my hands reached out to touch the walls as a way to steady myself. 

"Virgil?"  Said Patton timidly.  "Is everything alright kiddo?"

Black dots danced in my vision.  I ran back to the mindscape.  Once there I bolted to my room, barely making it there before collapsing onto the floor in a heap. 

I started sobbing, barely able to breath.  I was shaking horribly.  I clawed at the carpet as if it would take away the impending fear. 

I let out a scream and the attack reached its worst points. My hands clawed at my head. 

CUT! KILL YOURSELF!  EVERYONE WOULD BE BETTER OFF WITHOUT YOU!

The voices did it.  Despite shaking horribly, I dragged myself over to my dresser.  I reached underneath it and pulled out a little box. 

Inside was different razors and knives and a pair of scissors.  And something worse, but that's not something to talk about now. 

I felt as if my heart stopped beating.  Trying to gasp for air, I grabbed at a razor blade. 

I pulled off my hoodie and turned to my wrist.  I quickly drug the blade against my skin, instantly drawing blood. 

Almost instantly, I felt like I could breath a little bit better.  I sobbed to the point where I couldn't see anything besides blurs of metallic silver, blood, and my scarred up wrist from many events similar to this. 

The pain felt good, so I did it again.  I only than heard someone yelling my name from the hallway and banging on my door for me to unlock it. 

I ignored them and kept cutting.  When the voice was satisfied, I pulled my hoodie back on. 

I curled up in a ball and pushed the box back under the dresser.  I kept shaking and the pain in my arms was beginning to set in. 

Just as I heard my door slamming against the wall and people rushing in, my mind gave into the darkness and I fell unconscious.