A/N pls don't kill me and I'm already prepared for the hate *throws self into a trash can* fUcK tHiS sHiT iM oUt

TRIGGER WARNING : blood, puking, self harm/cutting in detail, panic attack, suicidal thoughts, overdose, suicide, death

Virgil POV

When I opened my eyes, I was finally back in my own body. Corruption was laughing like an insane person.

I rolled over onto my back, feeling extremely lightheaded and nauseous. My stomach lurched, causing me to jerk up.

On unsteady legs, I ran to the bathroom. I kneeled in front of the toilet and puked up all my stomach contents. I kept retching until all that was coming out was bile.

I flopped over onto my side once I stopped puking. My head hurt like hell and my vision was spinning. Than the tears came. I couldn't tell if it was from the pain or from remembering what had just happened.

"Oh y-yeah, probably should-should've men-mentioned the s-side effects you-you'll have whenever y-you come back in-into your b-body." Corruption said, leaning against the door.

"Why?" I sobbed. "You hurt them."

"I. D-Don't. C-Care." Hissed Corruption, kicking me sharply in the back. I cried out.

"I hate you."

"I k-know." Corruption laughed. "Ha-Have fun dealing w-with all the h-hate and anger th-they have f-for you n-now."

"Fuck off."

"N-Now that n-no way to talk to y-your Master." Corruption growled. "I'll b-be on my w-way n-now but I'll b-be back."

With that, he disappeared back into the shadows. I broke down into sobs. My chest heaving as I fought off a panic attack.

My throat started to close up and it felt like the walls were closing in on me. I dug my fingers into my head as the panic attack got worse.

Everything hurt. My stomach lurched again, sending me back to leaning over the toilet. However, this time I puked up blood. Way too much blood.

My throat was burning. I sobbed. They hate me now. There's no way they could ever forgive me for this.

I fell over again as my vision started to spin. I'm such a failure. I couldn't stop Corruption. I can't. I should just die.

I rolled over onto my stomach and dragged myself back into my room. I sat up against my dresser. I grabbed the razor that I had used last night.

I rolled up my sleeves and started cutting almost instantly. I cried at the pain, but I deserved the pain. This time, I'll make sure I die.

I won't fail like I did last time. I'll steal Thomas's anti-anxiety pills and take them myself. Those should kill me if I take them directly.

The sound of blood hitting the floor snapped my out of my thoughts. My wrist was completely cut up. I dropped the razor and pulled my sleeves back down with shaky hands.

I let out another sob. I hate myself so fucking much. I grabbed onto the dresser handle and pulled myself up.

I swayed on my feet feeling instantly lightheaded. I didn't bother cleaning the cuts or wiping the blood off them. A few trails of blood were falling down the corner of my mouth from puking so much blood up.

I probably looked like a mess but I don't give a shit. I sunk down into the real world, feeling a little better once I got there.

I reached out and grabbed the table when I started swaying again, leaving a bloody handprint behind. I took a deep breath and pushed myself to the stairs.

I felt like I was going to pass out once I reached the top of the stairs. I walked down the hallway, resting my hand against the wall to steady myself. It left a little trial of blood.

I reached the bathroom, pushing the door open. Than I heard faint crying. Strange. Is something wrong with Thomas? I didn't give him a panic attack, right?!

I followed the sound of crying to Thomas's room. I peeked my head in, seeing Roman sitting on Thomas's bed while crying his eyes out. Patton and Thomas were there trying to comfort him.

"But he broke up with me!" Roman cried, pulling a pillow down over his face.

"I'm so sorry Ro." Thomas said sympathetically.

"I understand break ups suck," Mumbled Patton. "It'll get better soon enough though."

"But he was such a dick about it!" Roman yelled, throwing the pillow at the wall.

"Language." Patton said sternly.

"Sorry Patt." Roman mumbled, laying back down. "I'm just really upset."

"You'll be okay soon." Thomas said. "You'll find someone else who will treat you better."

I was shaking. I wanted to walk over to them and tell them about Corruption. But they wouldn't believe me. We all saw Corruption die.

Not wanting to get yelled at, I walked back to the bathroom. I opened the medicine cabinet and started digging through it.

Buried in the back was an orange pill bottle. I read the label. It was the anxiety pills.

I smiled a little bit. This will all be over soon.

I sunk back down into the mindscape. I looked around my room. I prayed to whatever god was out there that I'd die this time.

I failed last time I tried, I won't fail this time. I opened up the pill bottle and looked into it. There were 23 pills left.

I dumped a few into my hands and quickly dry swallowed them. I repeated the process until the bottle was empty.

I dropped the bottle, hearing it clatter against the floor. I didn't feel anything. What if it doesn't work?! I need to die and this is the only way I can think.

Well...I guess if this doesn't work I can alway throw myself into the Pit. The water would destroy me.

Than I felt a burning in my stomach. I smiled. Finally. I'm finally going to be free. I walked over to my desk and grabbed my phone.

I put on my 'Stay Alive' playlist, just for the irony. I pulled on my headphones and walked back over to the pill bottle. The lyrics blasted into my ears, hoping they would make me feel better.

The Light Behind Your Eyes by My Chemical Romance

Never Too Late by Three Days Grace

Friend, Please by Twenty Øne Piløts

This World is Ugly by My Chemical Romance

Savior by Black Veil Brides

Truce by Twenty Øne Piløts

Fallen Angel by Three Days Grace

Neon Gravestones by Twenty Øne Piløts

Don't You Dare Forget The Sun by Get Scared

Keep Holding On by Falling in Reverse

Leave the City by Twenty Øne Piløts

The End Is Not The Answer by Three Days Grace

Carolyn by Black Veil Brides

Goner by Twenty Øne Piløts

The music didn't make me feel better.

The burning feeling turned painful and intense, sending me to my knees. I grunted as the pain became intolerable. Than the headaches began.

Despite how much pain I was it, I still felt that little sliver of happiness. I'm finally going to die.

I took off my hoodie and laid down on my side, staring at the pill bottle. I watched my arms as bruises started appearing on them. These bruises were a lot bigger than the ones from the first time this happened. They were also appearing a lot faster this time.

My throat started burning as the feeling to puke came back. But I didn't retch. I just started foaming at the mouth.

It was painful but I felt more happy now than in a long time. I coughed a bit, the foam falling out of my mouth.

I closed my eyes, just letting the music fill my mind. I let all the memories of Deceit, of Corruption, of Roman, and everything bad that happened leave my mind.

The music was replaced with a loud buzzing sound.  My vision went black and my breathing stopped.  I smiled despite the pain.

I'm finally going to die.