REVAN FLUFF AND EVAN ANGST YAYAYAYAY

BEAUTIFUL FANART TO LOOK AT FIRST

potaters-noaters ^^^

@PANdemonium321

GO LOVE littlecastiel BECAUSE THEY HELPED ME WRITE THIS CHAPTER TOO <3

TRIGGER WARNING - talk about seizures and some pretty sad angst

Evan POV
I jolted awake to a loud crack of thunder. I gasped, sitting up in bed. I was shaking slightly from the nightmare I just had.

The nightmare was already slipping out of my mind, despite just waking up from it. But I was still able to recognize what the nightmare was.  I was back there and the thunderstorm probably triggered that nightmare. 

When did I get home? I thought, remembering the events of yesterday. I blushed heavily, remembering the feeling of Remus's lips on mine.

Another rumble of thunder caused me to jump and squeak a bit. I am horribly, utterly terrified of thunderstorms. Thunderstorms bring back bad memories that I'd rather not remember.

Thunderstorms at night are even worse. Because it's dark. Especially since this only happens if Thomas has a nightmare, so he's probably having one right now.

I'm guessing Remus brought me home and put me to bed.  Quietly, I slipped out of bed and started undressing. 

I slipped into a clean pair of white boxers and an old, worn but still very soft, baby pink sweatshirt.  I always wear it to bed, which had made all the elastic on the bottom of it completely unwind.

I searched through my bedsheets for Mr. Bun, or as I tended to call him, Bun. I found him underneath my pillow. Mr. Bun was a small brown bunny stuffed animal that I cherished. 

I'm not exactly sure were he came from, I've just always had him.  But he is very important to me, even now as an adult. 

I laid down in my bed, clutching Bun close to my chest. I pulled the blankets up my chin and curled up. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to block out the sound of the thunder.

After about five minutes of laying there, utterly terrified, I gave up on sleep.  I looked over at my clock to see the time; 2:13 am. 

Great.  Just great...

There was a flash of lightening that illuminated my room, making my eyes dart around as if I'd see a demon standing in the corner of my room that had been revealed by that quick flash of light.

I can't take this. Laying here while the storm raged on sent me back to bad places. 

I quickly got up, still holding onto Bun. I started rubbing his ears in between my fingers, a bad habit of mine that has now caused his ears to be worn down but years of me rubbing them.

I quietly walked out of my room and down the hall. I'll just make myself some nice hot chocolate and watch some tv. I'll just have to wait out the storm as always.

But I practically screamed upon seeing Remus sleeping on the couch when I turned the light on. 

He was just in a dark green T-shirt and black boxers.  My pink and white quilt over his legs. 

My heart was pounding, my grip growing on Bun.  What do I do?!

Do I just make some hot chocolate and then just wait out the storm in my room?  Or do I cuddle with Remus, someone who I have kissed and may or may not be my boyfriend now?

Cuddling would help a lot more. 

I really don't want to be alone right now.

And Remus is right there...all I have to do is wake him up.  I could cuddle with him.

But would he want to cuddle?  He doesn't seem like a cuddler.

Another loud crack of thunder caused me to jump and squeak again. I've made up my mind. I can't be alone through yet another thunderstorm.

I flicked the light back off and tip-toed over to Remus. I poked him in the cheek to wake him up.

"Remus." I whispered. "Please wake up." I poked him again, harder this time.  He didn't wake up.  Gosh he's a heavy sleeper. 

I poked him again.  This time he did stir, groaning a bit before opening his eyes. 

"What."  He said, his voice low and full of tiredness. 

"Imsorrybutimrealltscaredofthunderstormsandimfreakingoutimsorryisoundlikesuchababyrightnow."  I rambled, close to tears now.  Remus's eyes soften. 

"And you want to cuddle I'm guessing?"  He asked, a knowing smirk on his lips.  There was crack of thunder, quickly followed by a flash of lightening.

I jumped again, clutching Bun up by my neck now.  I was shaking in fear.  I nodded quickly, just wanting to be curled up safely in Remus's arms more than anything right now.

"Come here Sunshine,"  Remus said, sitting up and holding an arm out for me. 

I quickly sat down next to him and pressed myself up against his chest.  I instantly felt a little better. 

Remus laughed softly and pulled me down into a laying position with him.  I was laying half on his chest, half pressed up against the cushion. 

I rested my head in the crook of his shoulder, burying my face in his shirt. Remus had one arm wrapped securely around my waist, the other rubbing lazy circles on my back.

However, another loud crack of thunder made me jump. All sense of security and peace instantly lost.

"It's okay darling," Remus said gently. "The storm can't hurt you."

"It's still scary." I mumbled, my one hand holding tightly to a fistful of his shirt. My other hand still clutched tightly to Bun.

"How about we talk about something else until you fall asleep." Remus suggested. I nodded in agreement. 

"Who's this?"  Remus asked, gently rubbing his thumb over the bridge of Bun's nose.

"This is Bun." I told him, unconsciously rubbing Bun's ears again. "I know it's childish," I mumbled quickly, expecting Remus to laugh at me for still sleeping with a stuffed animal.

"I think it's adorable." Remus said, pressing a gentle kiss to my forehead. I blushed but smiled happily.

"Thanks," I mumbled, yawning.

"You should go back to sleep." He told me.

"It's storming." I mumbled.

"So?" Remus asked, his words accented by a sharp clap of thunder. I jolted in fear, for a second being back there.

"I...I..."  I mumbled, struggling for words.  "Bad memories."  I whispered finally, pressing myself as close as possible to Remus. 

Remus had a worried expression on his face.  A flash of lightening lit up the room, making me squeeze my eyes shut. 

"What happened?"  He asked gently.  I let out a shaky sigh. 

"How I was stripped of my sexual innocent half was not a fun time."  I mumbled, not really wanting to talk about but at the same time feeling like I could trust Remus with what happened. 

"You don't have to talk about it then,"  Remus told me.  "I remember how bad it was when me and Roman split." 

"I trust you,"  I whispered, looking him in the eyes.  Remus looked shocked.

"Why?"

"Because I love you."

"Why?" 

I moved and kissed Remus softly.  Then I moved back to my spot, curled up against him.  The kiss shut Remus up finally. 

"I remember the day it happened exactly down to every last detail.  I was over at Quinn's house, we were hanging out late into the night.  But once nine o'clock came around, I left to head home."  I took a deep breath before continuing.  "On my way home was when Thomas lost his innocence.  Him and his silly friends looking up stuff during a sleepover.  That was the first time I ever seized.  And it was really bad.  It was terrifying and painful to say the least.  I ended up passing out in a alleyway between two houses, I don't know whose though.  When I woke up, it was a few hours later and there was a raging thunderstorm.  I couldn't move.  I couldn't move at all, I was in so much pain,"  I had to stop and take a few deep breaths.  My voice was beginning to shake as I tried not to burst into tears.  "I was exhausted and the pain was overwhelming.  I couldn't move.  I was stuck there during the entire storm.  Eventually I got my arms to work and I had to drag myself home.  But it took hours.  I had to stop so many times during the storm because I keep seizing.  I don't even know why or how because Thomas was asleep.  But it was terrifying.  I could only get a few feet until I would seize again.  Every time it storms, it sends me back there.  To lying there in that ally, feeling completely broken and terrified.  Back to the pain and fear.  It was freezing and terrifying and painful and-"

But I had to stop talking because I broke down into sobs.  Thinking about it sent me back there.  To that feeling of horrible pain.  It had felt as if my blood was on fire.  I couldn't move.  I had laid there for hours while the storm raged.

But Remus moving me to kiss me snapped me out of those thoughts.  I eagerly kissed back, terrified of my own thoughts right now. 

"I'm so so sorry honey,"  Remus said softly when we pulled apart.  He wiped the tears off my face, placing kisses all over the top of my head. 

I yawned again and laid back down.  I clung tightly the Remus, still a little shaky.  Remus held me tighter now, as if in a more protective manor now.

"I'm gonna go to sleep now,"  I mumbled, absolutely exhausted.  Despite the storm still raging on and the thoughts of what happened resurfacing, right now, I felt safe.  Here in Remus's arms, I felt safe and loved.

It reminded me that I wasn't there anymore.  That it's in the past now.  That Remus would keep me safe. 

"I love you Buttercup,"  Was the last thing I heard before slipping asleep. 

Remus POV
I looked down at the precious, adorable, little, angel bean curled up in my arms. 

God I fucking love him. 

And I would give almost anything so that Evan didn't have to go through that horrible thing. The split was painful and horrible in its own respect but at least it was only an hour or so long and once it was over, it was over.

Evan had to suffer for hours and he's traumatized by it.  Someone as kind and caring as Evan shouldn't have to go through that. 

I never want him to feel that fear again.  I will protect him no matter what.

As time passed, the storm showed no signs of stopping anytime soon.  I was wide awake now.  Evan kept flinching in his sleep, stirring a bit whenever there'd be a particularly loud clap of thunder. 

I couldn't help my eyes trailing over his body.  He's tiny.  He had more feminine curves but not too drastically.  He was delicate and dainty.  His skin soft and freckles in patches over is shoulders and face. 

I could see more very light freckles on his exposed thighs.  I really wanted to suck hickeys into the soft skin of his thighs.  I think they'd look good with the freckles. 

I couldn't help but imagine how Evan would look beneath me.  Moaning my name, hickeys covering his neck and shoulders.  Him being perfect but wrecked, all for me. 

But I restrained myself, forcing those thoughts out of my mind.  I need to stop before I get too horny and can't control myself. 

Evan is pure and soft and innocent, I can't ruin that.  Especially after that moment he had because of the thunderstorm. 

I reached down slowly and pulled the blanket up over us, trying my best not to disturb Evan.  I gently pressed another kiss to his forehead and wrapped my arms tighter around him. 

I let out a sigh, trying to fall asleep.  Evan is going to be the death of me one day I swear.  I'll probably die from like cuteness overload or something because of his preciousness.  

With happy thoughts of Evan in my mind, I drifted off into a nice sleep.