The remnants of tears had long dried on my face, but I couldn't bring myself to stand up and leave the safety of being alone. The last thing I need to do is break down in front of all of them, show them just how much I'm hurting. Thomas isn't coming back, what's the point of waiting around? I need to move on. I need to find happiness elsewhere.

But I can't think or do anything without imagining him right besides me.

And now my actions have gotten Angelica captured. Part of me wanted to blame Eliza for forcing me to stop, the others for not stepping in and trying to take the King's life while we had the chance, anyone but myself.

The sky above was growing dark fast, and as much as I wanted to sit by the tree and let myself follow after Thomas, I eventually forced myself to my feet, albeit shakily, and stepped forward. It would have been easier to teleport, but I needed more time to compose myself. The instant I stepped in the castle, they'd no doubt question me about where I was and demand that we start planning to save Angelica. But no matter what, we have to get her back. Because this feeling of being lost is absolutely terrible, and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemies, much less Eliza and Peggy.

We couldn't save Thomas, but maybe we could save Angelica.

Each step I took was more painful than the last, jogging the memories of all those times Thomas and I journeyed through the forest together. Each second was the worst form of torture imaginable, as I couldn't go anywhere without seeing his face, hearing his laugh.

It's all going to die away eventually, I told myself, keeping my eyes straight ahead. You're going to forget about Thomas, and you'll be happy.

The only way I could comfort myself was by telling lies, and I hated it. I hated it because I know I'll never be able to not see his ghost. It doesn't matter how many times I try to move on, Thomas will always be apart of me.

For a moment, the burning hot flames of anger consumed my chest. Anger at myself for not being able to have stopped him. Anger at him for putting me in such a horrible position without taking even a second to think about how I would feel. Anger at the world for doing this to me.

But it subsided soon after, and I was just as empty as before.

I was so focused on trying not to cry again that I almost missed the sudden crack of branches behind me. I froze, dagger in my hand within a single heartbeat, and listened. A rustling through the bushes, another crack of leaves, the heavy fall of what sounded like hooves hitting the ground. I swallowed hard, whirling in the direction the steps were coming from. "I know you're there." My voice echoed through the forest, and the footsteps stopped. I raised my dagger, letting the light glint off of its razor sharp tip. "Come out."

A pause. I gripped the dagger tighter, knowing it was the only thing separating me from whoever or whatever was stalking me. "Show yourself!" I hissed again, voice as threatening as I could make it. It sounded pitiful even to me.

The creature emerged from the bush.

It wasn't the King, or anyone else who would want to cause me harm for the sole sake of causing harm, but that hardly offered me any relief. The creature stepped forward into the dying rays of sunlight streaming down through the leaves. The light caught its fur, and as it stepped forward, I fell back.

Its fur was sleek and the dark browns of mud. Two horns wrapped around its head like those of an ibex, gleaming black. Hooves replaced what should have been large paws, and a long tail swept behind its cat-like body. The creature's gaze was intense, and as deep as the scars that marred its face ran, there was no mistaking the gleam of intelligence behind its eyes.

I recognized the creature after a moment or two, though I couldn't place how I knew it. It wasn't any of the types of Tenebrie that I had studied, and strangely, there was something inside of me that was drawn to it, pulling me closer to the creature. It was like there was a rope binding it to me, a rope I hadn't ever seen before.

A single word flashed through my mind. I don't know where it came from, but it sat in my head like it had always been there, and for a moment, I wondered how I had ever gone on without knowing the creature's name.

Ira.

"Ira?" I repeated, out loud. The creature fell to its haunches, dropping its head like a loyal soldier waiting for orders. "Is that you? Are you Ira?"

The creature looked up at me and flicked out its tongue, which was forked like a snake's.

"Can you...can you understand me?" I asked, slow and careful in the step I took forward. The creature only blinked in response, and taking that as a sign of pacifism, I reached out a hand. The creature stared at my hand for a long moment, but before I had the chance to pull it away, it pushed its head forward like a cat would. "Aww," I said, falling to the ground as I scratched behind its ears. "Aren't you sweet?"

The creature began to hum, and it took me a second to realize it was purring. I pet it as gently as I could, glancing up at the sky, which was slowly darkening in color. It wouldn't be long before night fell, and I wouldn't be able to see. I rose to my feet as slowly as possible so I didn't disturb Ira and make it—him? Her? Them?—suddenly lunge forward and rip my arm off.

"Sorry, Ira. I have to go," I said as the creature looked up at me. "It was, uh, it was nice meeting you."

Ira stood up. I backed away slowly, and with every step I took, it followed my exact movements.

"Alright, umm, I'm flattered. But I have to go, and—"

A rapid chirping disturbed the quiet trees, and a flash of gray dropped from the sky before I could say anything else. I blinked, recognizing Belletra. "Where have you been?" I asked her lightly, feeling the world open up underneath me again. "I was starting to worry about you."

Ira began to growl.

Belletra landed on my shoulder and turned to face the creature, her chest puffing out in a sign of aggression that looked really cute.

The creature stared for a moment longer, its gaze meeting mine levelly. Then slowly, it turned and disappeared into the forest, leaving just as suddenly as it had come.

What has my life come to?

~•~

The moon was rising steadily when I finally returned to the castle. The others were gathered in the dining room, and besides earlier that day for the funeral, it was the first time since Thomas's death that everyone sat at the table together, granted we were all silent.

Well, almost everyone. Eliza was nowhere to be seen, but I didn't blame her for anything for not being here. Not when she was patient with me when I refused to let my face be seen for the past couple of days. I'd have to find her after dinner though and comfort her. Not like I was in any position to comfort someone, but I had to try.

"Uh, sir? Permission to speak?" Lafayette asked finally, breaking the silence.

I looked up, grateful that I didn't have to pretend to enjoy my food anymore. Everything tasted blander without Thomas, and I hated having to force the forkfuls of meat into my mouth only to want to throw it all up anyway.

Washington's shoulders slumped, and I had no doubt that he knew what Lafayette was going to ask. Hell, I knew what Lafayette was going to ask. "Go ahead," he finally said, wearily as if he couldn't take another question.

"What is our plan in going forward?"

"How can we move on from this?" James demanded suddenly. He looked away when all eyes turned to him, as if he was embarrassed that he had spoke.

His question was an impossible one to answer.

"We need to rescue Angelica as soon as possible," Washington said, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his palm. "We know she isn't dead. If King George wanted her dead, she would be dead. He needs her help, but that worries me even more. What could he possibly need? And why Angelica?"

"And why didn't he just kill us all?" Hercules added, too optimistically for me. I couldn't understand how easily he kept going through this.

"Exactly," Washington said, nodding to affirm Hercules's point. "He's planning something, and the sooner we find out what it is, the quicker we can destroy it."

"What if we return to his castle?" Aaron asked. It was the first time I heard him speak in a couple of days, though of course I had seen him constantly comforting a James who looked like he might fall apart at any moment. "I can't think of where else he'd be keeping her."

"You think he put her in the maze?"

"I don't know."

They continued to talk, and for the most part, I began to drown them out as I glanced over at Thomas's chair, wondering what he thought about all of this. And then I remembered it was empty. It was just a chair. That's all. Just an empty chair seated to the right of the one across from me. There should be nothing special about that chair, but it wasn't just a chair. It was Thomas's chair. And it was empty.

The water in my cup leapt into the air, and I glanced up to see Philip watching me with a worried smile. "You okay?" he asked, overshadowed by the continued rambling of the others as they thought up a plan that would undoubtedly end up in failure.

"Yeah," I said. "Just thinking."

"About Angelica?" he asked, but he knew exactly who I was thinking about.

"Well, not exactly," I said. "While I was in the forest, this weird creature approached me. I'm pretty sure I had seen it before, but I don't know where."

"Wait," Lafayette said, so sudden it made me jump. The other conversation ended just as abruptly. "A creature?"

"Yeah," I said, shifting in my seat. Divinity, I hated the way they stared at me, as if they were picking me apart piece by piece. I wanted to duck away, to disappear into nothing.

"What did it look like?" asked Washington after I refused to elaborate.

"Well, umm, it looked like a lion. Do you guys know what lions are? Whatever. It was a really big cat-like creature, but it had hooves. And a pair of really sharp horns horn. And its tail was longer than I think it should have been? I don't know. I could have been imagining it, I guess."

Belletra, who had been spending the entire dinner next to my plate and picking seeds off of it the same way she did with Thomas, hopped over to James and let loose a single chirp.

"Venandi?" James asked slowly, glancing up at me. "You saw a Venandi?"

I nodded, only a little relieved that I wasn't completely losing my mind. "Yeah. That's what they're called."

Silence followed. I hated silence.

"Right," I said, rising to my feet. "I'm going to go check up on Eliza."

"Alexander. You saw a Venandi."

"I have no idea what that means."

"It's..." Hercules sighed, glancing elsewhere. "It's kinda hard to explain. You used to be... really close with them."

"Oh," I said, realizing from who I had first heard the term. "Yeah." I stood there, awkwardly, before stepping away from the table. "Anyway, I'm going to go check up on Eliza," I repeated before slipping away, happy to have some time for myself, even if it was only really a moment or two.