"So, how's the girlfriend?" I asked Ashton, feeling a pain rising in my chest as I mention the 'g-word'. Why did he have to have a girlfriend? I bet she's really pretty, and fucking smart. But I'm pretty and smart. I'm probably smarter than she is. I bet she's some kind of silly girl who's like way to childish for him. I hate her and I haven't even met the girl – that's how much of a bitch she is. "Does she visit often?"

"Yeah, almost every day after school."

"Shouldn't she be like skipping classes just to come see you?" I roll my eyes as I stare down at my hands.

"Uh I think we see each other enough the way it is, you know."

"Sure."

"What about you? Single?" I instantly looked up from my hands when he asked me that, but then realization came slowly. He's just trying to make conversation. I look back down to my hands, contemplating on what to say. I like him and I wouldn't want him to think bad of me when I tell him what I'm really doing, but then there is no chance of us ever being together (if I was still interested in relationships), so it's best to just be honest. I shrug my shoulders and blinked up again, "Uh right now I'm not really into relationships."

Ashton chuckled softly, "Wow. I would have never guessed that. You looked like you would stick to one person."

"Looks can be deceiving," I tell him. I glance back down at my hands. I don't even know what I'm staring at. I should do my nails. Nothing bright like yellow or something, maybe just black, or dark blue. That sounds like a plan. I smile to myself then finally raised my head to find Ashton already looking at me. He seemed to be in awe, which was confusing. What is he looking at? I pull my lip ring between my teeth and furrowed my eyebrows. But just like that, he began to laugh.

"What's the matter?" I ask him with a roll of my eyes.

"Nothing... it was nothing."

"What is it? Do I have something on my face?" my eyes widen. I reach up to touch my face, but felt nothing foreign. What was he staring at and why did he laugh? He makes me feel so insecure, and I hate feeling that way. Why would he laugh? Doesn't he know I have feelings?

"You're extremely annoying – you know that right?"

"So they say," he answered with a smile. I roll my eyes. Man, do I wish he was gay and interested in me. It seems so hard to remain just friends with a guy like him. Am I just supposed to ignore that I want him in bed every time I see him? That's a bit hard for me. But I also can't ignore him forever, because that right there will hurt. I should just suck it up and talk to him like normal.

"Why are you distant?" his voice entered my head and I looked to him.

"Because I don't want to be here," I bluntly reply while taking in a breath, "My mom forced me to be here..."

"Why?"

"I was out late like one night!" I began, "Okay well maybe not one... but my point is, it wasn't a lot, okay. She's being so unfair. She saw one paper I failed in my bin and suddenly she thinks I'm failing school too, which I'm not! Why is she like that? I am only allowed here and home. What is that? And she didn't even tell me when this will all be over."

"Probably when you show her you've changed. Plus, it can't be that bad here."

"You and I both know it is. You're only saying this so you would have company."

Ashton laughed, "Okay, you're right about that, but seriously though, maybe you should just sort of show her you changed. Maybe she'll lift whatever this is."

"That makes sense. I should apologize," I mutter mostly to myself. I feel like I did nothing wrong, but apparently, I did. Maybe if I just faked it she would set me free. I'll just have to try to be home earlier for like a week, and then I could go back to me. I don't think she would actually do this again. She could have at least allowed me to go to a friend's house or something.

"This is so weird," Ashton says almost to himself, "I'm never usually the one giving advice on parents."

"And I don't usually get grounded..." I tell him, the shrugged my shoulders, "Variety I suppose."

"You don't get grounded?" That seemed to be the only thing he heard. I rolled my eyes at him and shook my head, but the tiniest of smiles appeared on my face. I look to him saying, "I was a goody-goody type of person. The only thing bad about me was my punk boyfriend." He chuckled softly at first, but then his face contorted in confusion, and realization hit me. I just came out to him and I barely even noticed. I don't really know what I was waiting for, but I know for a fact I didn't want him to find out like this.

"You're gay?" he asked softly. I let out a breath before nodding my head. I don't need a long suspense-filled way to say this. I'm just going to tell him, and it shouldn't matter, right? I mean I am crushing on him (which I suppose is a hetero guy's fear – that we'd fall deeply in love with them... I don't know), but I'm still just a human, so it's okay.

"Yes, I am. I like guys," I tell him. I don't know why, but I looked down to my hands again. What the hell is my problem?

"W-wow..." he nodded his head awkwardly. I sigh softly, feeling the awkwardness creeping up on us.

"What?" I asked, "I can't be your friend anymore?"

"No," he instantly replied, "I'm not like that... I swear."

"I don't know... you were speaking to me normal before I sort of blurted it out, what's the problem now? Are you uncomfortable?"

"No, uhm it's just sort of weird."

"What? That I'm interested in guys?" I furrowed my eyebrows as I stared at him in shock.

"No, Ethan, I promise that's not what I mean. I don't care okay. You can be gay, straight, bi, pans, it doesn't matter to me; we're friends," he says. I bite my bottom lip softly and let out a soft, almost non-existent sigh. "Thank you for not judging." He flashed me a smile, but I can still tell he felt different now. I don't know if I expected this reaction, but I don't really like it. However, I like him, so that's a contradiction. I look to Ashton, but he was staring at the ground, and for some strange reason, I smiled at him.

~*~*~*~

A/N: Ashton Above