Matthew's Pov
"Come on Mattie!" Alfred ushered me to the living room with a wide grin spread across his face. "I'm going calm down." I smiled tiredly, this morning I awoke with a throbbing headache and a sore throat. Of course, I didn't tell Alfred because I was afraid he might freak out like he always does.

Just yesterday he made sure I was completely covered in blankets when we went to bed since the room was cold and Francis supposedly ranks up the air con so he could cuddle with Arthur every time he gets cold, I refused Alfred's offer and slept with a thin blanket which probably was the worst mistake I made. Alfred shook me from my thoughts and sat me on the couch. "Let's play a video game together." he handed me a controller and turned on his gaming counsel I honestly felt groggy and didn't have the energy to protest.

I forced a weak smile. "Okay, I'll play with you, Alfie." He cheered happily and pulled me into a tight hug. "Thanks, Mattie!" he placed a kiss on my cheek and went back to the game. The video game was a vs fighting game, eventually after a while, I lost fifteen times before I decided to give up. "Guess you're too good Alfred. I couldn't beat you." I exclaimed in a tone of defeat.

He did a little victory dance and sang a little song saying that he was 'the hero!' and 'no one will defeat me!' I giggled and rested my head against the arm of the couch, I was drained. My head spun and my throat hurt I closed my eyes feeling myself slip to a dreamless sleep until I was suddenly awoken by Alfred shaking my shoulder. "It's no time to be sleeping, let's go to the park. We can maybe see ducks and feed them!" his sky blue eyes beamed in excitement.

I couldn't help but smile at him, his childish behavior was cute and somewhat comforted me sometimes. "Alright...let's go." I got up from the couch even though it took all my strength, but that didn't matter to me Alfred's happiness is the only thing that matters. He pulled on his jacket and grabbed a loaf of bread from the kitchen. "Don't tell Francis alright? He'll probably hit me with the rolling pin again." He dramatically shivered fearfully.

I quietly giggled. "I promise I'll keep it a secret." He smiled widely and dashed outside pulling me along with him. "You sure is a bit hyper today Alfred...is something wrong?" I asked in concern. "Nope! I just wanted to spend time with you." He turned to me and explained, his smile then faltered and my heartbeat quickened with fear. ".. I need to spend time with you. I can't just leave you alone again..." He turned away from me his teeth gritted in regret. "I can't forget you again.." He mumbled.

I quietly gasped in shock, as he released my wrist and stayed silent as he entered his car I reluctantly climbed in and securely buckled my seat belt. "..Alfred..it's not your fault." I looked at him. He simply nodded and handed the loaf of bread to me, I began to panic, I wanted him to be happy, not sad. "U-um... I...I wonder how many ducks we'll feed! With all this bread we can feed a whole flock!"

I pushed through my worry and forced a gleeful smile. "We can feed them together right?" he hummed in response and started, my heart dropped and a pit of nausea rested at the bottom of my stomach I frowned and looked down. I felt useless, I wasn't able to make him happy.

The whole ride to the park was silent and uncomfortable I've never seen Alfred so upset and quiet before and that just terrified me, I knew I never should've asked him that question, he was happy a while ago but he instantly became upset. Was he trying to make me happy the whole time? "Alfred, are we still feeding the ducks?" I asked with shakiness in my voice. "..yeah.." He muttered and got out of the car grabbing the bread from my hands.

With guilt setting itself in my heart I made my way towards Alfred and looked down at my feet as we walked to the lake, children played at the park, people walked their dogs, couples had picnics. It was mid-afternoon, the clouds were white and puffy and the sky was a vibrant baby blue, it really was beautiful but the tension between Alfred and me was so thick it made it hard for me to breathe.

I sighed in relief when we made it to the lake and saw all kinds of ducks swimming in the lake, there was a white duck with an orange beak waddling around with three ducklings following it that's when I decided to try to cheer Alfred up. "Look, Alfred..isn't it that duck from that weird insurance commercial?" I wearily smiled at him. "I guess it does look like it." He shrugged and untwisted the twist tie from the bag that secured and kept the loaf of bread fresh.

He tossed a slice of bread on the ground and almost instantly tons of ducks waddled towards it. "Wow..there's a lot of them.." I murmured in awe and carefully backed away from them. I turned my head to look at Alfred. "Are you having fun?" I asked anxiously. "Sure..are you?" his eyes were now dull, the happiness that was once in them was now gone, I nodded and grabbed another slice of bread.

I tossed it to the ducklings that barely had a chance to grab some and sullenly sat on the ground, my chest ached, my throat burned, nausea grew worse. But what bothered me most and caused me the most pain was that Alfred wasn't happy. "Alfred can...can you help me feed the ducks up close?" I kept my gaze at the duckling afraid that if I met his cold and dull eyes I wouldn't be able to hold back my tears.

He nodded and grabbed a slice before heading towards me and kneeling to the ground. "Just crumble up the bread and cup the crumbs in your hand." I was expecting to see his smile but he just stayed with the same blank face as he held my hands in his own and moved them toward the flock of ducks, I watched as they slowly made their way towards us and began to peck off the bread crumbs from my hands.

When they finished the bread they all ran away, some even jumped into the lake, when we both turned to look at the bench all of the bread was gone and only the plastic bag remained with poked holes and a torn bottom. "Oh no.." I grabbed the bag and frowned. "It's fine, its just bread," Alfred said in a flat tone. "I guess we can go for a walk." He suggested, "..yeah okay," I whispered and threw the bag away.

I followed him silently down a dirt path I couldn't find a topic to talk about everything was just so awkward, I was a couple of inches behind him I reached out for his hand but instantly stopped and let it go limp at my side. I felt that if I had to pull on another fake smile I would instantly start crying but I swallowed thickly and licked my dry lips. "Is something wrong?" the words I spoke felt as if I were speaking swear words in a church. I felt embarrassed but scared.

He froze and turned around. "Why would you think that? Everything is alright." He smiled but the happiness didn't fill his eyes. "I... I just.." My tongue was tied in a knot, I couldn't find the right words. I sighed. "It's nothing, I'm just a bit worried." That small lie was the only thing I could manage to say. The lump in my throat made it almost difficult for me to keep a steady and strong voice, I wasn't worried at all. I was terrified, I hated myself, I just wanted him to be happy and I couldn't even do something as simple as that.

"Well, alright then.." He turned back and continued walking I stayed close behind not speaking a single word until hours later I finally had enough. I gathered up all my courage and strength and stopped dead in my tracks. "Hm? What's wrong Mattie?" Alfred looked at me with a gaze of confusion? "What do you mean what's wrong!?" tears brimmed at the corners of my eyes. "Why can't you just tell me..." I fell to my knees as my vision blurred with tears.

"W-what did I do wrong!?" I yelled between a sob, by now my chest was aching in pain. "Well, whatever it was... I'm sorry!" huge hot tears rolled down my cheeks. "Can't you see I want you to be happy too!?" I screamed. Alfred fell to his knees and brought me into his arms, in a sudden rage, I pulled away from him and weakly punched his chest. "What are you doing to me?.." Tears ran down my chin and fell to the ground. "What can I do for you?.." I didn't dare meet his eyes instead I continued to weakly punch him. "Am I not good enough?"

He grabbed ahold of my wrists and made me look at him  "Mattie..." His dull eyes were now filled with guilt and sadness. "I'm so sorry.." He pulled me into a tight embrace and let me cry on his shoulder until my throat was raw and my eyes were puffy. ".. I made you feel like it was your fault...I'm so sorry, you're the most precious thing in my life and I was so stupid I hurt you." He lifted me from the ground and brought me into his arms.

I hid my face in the crook of his neck as he walked back to the park. "I just wanted to feed the ducks with you..." I whispered, I really did think I was going to have a good time with Alfred but today just wasn't a good day.

Alfred's Pov
I held Matthew tighter, I felt horrible. All he ever wanted was to have a good and happy day with me and here I was ruining everything for him. I didn't even realize the pained fake smile he gave me as he tried to cheer me up, I didn't realize the pain he went through as I ignored his attempts. And just to sum things up he apologized to me, I made him feel like he wasn't good enough. God, I really wish someone could punch me right now or even throw a chair at me for hurting the most innocent and most perfect person.

I helped Matthew into the car I hopped in and started the car. "Matthew...I promise I'll make it up to you." I glanced at him but was met with a sleeping Matthew. It was then when I saw his flushed face and his heavy breathing that I realized that all this time he was sick. I bit my bottom lip up to the point where I could taste blood as I tore the skin, I was a complete idiot.

I quickly drove home and carried Matthew inside where I set him down on the couch and went to the bathroom to grab a thermometer, I went to him and gently shook his shoulder. "Hey, Mattie I need you to wake up for a while." Although I really didn't want to wake him I had to check his temperature. He quietly groaned in pain and slowly sat up, I placed the thermometer in his mouth under his tongue and waited for it to beep.

Once it did I pulled it out and read the numbers 104°F I frowned and rested the back of my hand against his forehead, it was really warm. I panicked and ran to our room and grabbed a bunch of blankets. Before I wrapped them around Matthew he ran to the restroom, I followed behind in worry. He hunched over the toilet and retched out all the contents from his stomach, I stood behind him and soothingly rubbed his back until his stomach was empty.

He rinsed his mouth and trudged back to the living room couch. "Mattie, let me help you." I held his cold hand "O-okay.." He mumbled with a weak nod I wrapped up a warm blanket around him and grabbed a glass of water and a bottle of liquid medicine since Matthew couldn't swallow pills. I think he was too afraid.

I sat him on my lap and gave him the spoonful of the sour and bitter medicine, he reluctantly swallowed and quickly grabbed the glass of water gulping it all down. Beads of sweat formed at his forehead and his cheeks became redder. "..rest up alright?.." I rubbed his back as he nodded and rested his head against my shoulder.

"I'm sorry Alfred... I was going to tell you but I just wanted you to be happy.." The guilt in his voice made my heart shatter. "Don't apologize, you did nothing wrong," I stated with a frown, he trembled violently as he tried to drift off to sleep. "Will it be warmer for you if we're in our room?" I asked him. "I-I'm okay..." He stuttered between chattering teeth. Even though he had tons of blankets wrapped around him he was still shaking like a leaf.

I carried him to our room and lied him down on the bed. "You're burning up...but you're still cold.." I muttered, he didn't stop trembling and I was beginning to panic. "Please...please don't let it be bad.." I was relieved that he hadn't started coughing but the way he trembled, the pained look on his face, that just broke me. I dashed out of the room and went to turn off the air con that blew cold air. "No wonder Mattie got sick.." I muttered angrily.

I took a shaky breath and returned to the room where Matthew was sleeping soundly, he was still trembling so I climbed into bed with him and held him close. "It must've been lonely for you..." I moved a strand a hair from his face "..how did you manage to put up with it?.." images of my Mattie crying himself to sleep, hiding under the covers as a storm passed by, trying desperately to be noticed by anyone...not even anyone, at least someone would do, those thoughts filled my mind.

Tears filled my eyes. "How did you manage with all the pain?" he was so frail, looked as if a single push would shatter him. But in reality, he was strong, stronger than me in every way. "Heroes don't cry.." tears trailed down my cheeks. "..but for you, and only you will I ever shed tears for.." He groggily stirred awake, his eyes half open showing his huge clouded eyes.

He weakly smiled at me. "Heroes don't cry because they're weak..." He rested his cold hand against my cheek wiping away my stray tears. "...they cry because they've been strong for too long..." My eyes widened in shock, I myself wasn't the only hero. Matthew who had always been invisible, who always stayed innocent and never liking violence. The way he tried to make me happy even though it hurt him, even when he was sick.

I realized that he had also been strong for way too long. "I'm not the only hero here Mattie." I grabbed his hand and looked at him with a wide smile. "I think you're the strongest hero ever." He froze with a shocked expression. "..I..I.." He was unable to speak, he stumbled with his words and him anxiously avoided my gaze. I lifted his chin so he would be staring at me. "But I do know one thing." I kissed him softly and quickly pulled away.

"I know those sobs at the park were nothing compared to what you have locked inside." I pulled him into a tight hug. "So...don't hold back now...spill out everything." And with that said he tightly grasped onto the back of my shirt and pressed his face against my chest. And then he just...let everything all out.

I held him as he sobbed, screamed, cried, wailed, he even dug his nails into my back, all the pain he held in, he was letting it all out as I smiled in relief. For what seemed like hours passed by he slowly quieted down to small whimpers until he eventually drifted back to sleep. "I'm sorry Mattie but I want you to be happy... I don't want you to be in pain anymore." I softly kissed the top of his fevered head.

Matthew curled up against me taking a shuddered breath. "I will always be your hero." I held his pale hand. "And I promise I won't forget you again." But...slowly I was beginning to forget him, my mind wandered and drifted and bits and pieces of my memories with him began to vanish. I didn't know what to do... I was terrified...