I wake up, struggling to bolt out of bed. I stand up, weak on my feet. My knees threatening to fail and send me tumbling to the ground. I suck in a shaky breath. I had been having a lot of nightmares. I don't know why. They mostly consist of me running in a total darkness. Images of my hands covered in blood and images of Peter dead in my arms. Me crumbling to the ground in a fit of anguish.

Then time would stop, reverse, and cut back to a time when I watch Peter get stabbed through the heart.

Then time would stop again. Then usually I woke up.

Terrified of sleep.

I take a weary look at the alarm clock. 4:26 am. It just keeps going on. Waking me up earlier each day. Before you know it I'll be blinking and seeing all that. I go to bed really late. Fill myself with so much coffee and caffeine that easing off would cause me to feel like I'm dying.

I guess you'd call it an addiction of sorts, but I can't help it. I can't think straight. That's probably because I don't sleep and I spend my nights trying to use that power I suddenly had whenever I was fighting that man in the bank, but it doesn't work. It only works when I panic, it seems.

Sometimes, the urge to crumple into a ball on the floor or on my bed overwhelms me. I just want to cry. Knowing Peter, he'd probably try to comfort me and tell me everything is okay.

But you're not okay. You know you're not okay. But you can't accept help from him. He won't understand. No one understands you, Bea. No one ever will, okay?

"Would you shut up?" I mumble. Barely audible, so if anyone was awake, they wouldn't hear. Except for maybe Peter, who has an uncanny ability to sense when I hate myself.

I haven't decided if that's good or not, to be honest.

I try to lay back down in my bed and rest but it doesn't work.

I sigh, disgruntled with myself. My current problems. Embarrassed about how they've affected me to the point of literal hysteria. It's a pain in the ass. 

I hear a gentle knock at my door and I begin to panic. I definitely woke someone. Seeing as Peter is the only one home, I'll take it that it's him. Or, someone has fucking broken into our apartment, and is being really polite.

I'll go with the latter.

"Come in, I guess." I say quietly.

The door opens to reveal Peter. He gives me a tired smile.

"Did I wake you up?" we ask at the same time. "No, you were awake?"

We stare at each other for a minute before laughing. And this, ladies and gentlemen, is how you know you spend too much time with someone.

"Mr Stark texted me. He asked if you were doing okay."

"Why is Mr Stark texting you at four thirty in the morning?" I ask, raising an eyebrow.

"I didn't think you'd buy it." he admits. I give out a breathy laugh. I pat the bed space next to me inviting him to sit down.

We sit in a comfortable silence. I turn my head to look at him. Admiring his chocolate brown eyes and delicate cheeks, at the moment, dusted lightly with pink. His lips, looking soft and kissable, illuminated by the street lights of Queens.

I didn't mean to say kissable.

I lean over and put my head of his shoulder. My temple resting there as we stare out of the window.

I want to stay like this. Forever, if I could. Peter just gives you that warm feeling in your stomach and makes your heart feel like it could burst. Makes your mind wander with all the possible ways to enjoy how much he means to you.

"You know how sometimes you just wanna kiss someone, but you aren't sure how they'd react?" Peter asks, breaking our silence.

"Oh? Are you insinuating you'd like to kiss someone?" I ask, trying my best to come across flirty, but knowing how awkward I am, I probably just made a little fool out of myself.

I move my head off of Peter's shoulder and stare at his eyes, who stared back at me. I feel our heads move closer together, and suddenly, the gap is closed.

I'm kissing Peter Parker.

-

"You guys look guilty?" Tony asks, stopping his presentation of a new device that could possibly measure any time slowing I did, if I can do that.

"Guilt? Hah. No, not us." I say, pursing my lips.

"We're angels!" Peter blurts. Our eyes are away from each other, nervously darting around before they meet and we separate them quickly again.

"Okay... Either you guys broke something of mine or you've done something you probably shouldn't have."

"I honestly don't know which one to pick. One is a lie and the other one is true. But do we really have to worry about whether we may or may not have broken... Something..."

"Why's your girlfriend acting weird?"

"I'm not his girlfriend!"
"She's not my girlfriend!"

We yell in unison.

"So that's what you did..." Tony smirks, "You either confessed to each other or kissed or made out or some shit."

We stare down at our feet. Scared to look him in the eyes. Or even remotely close to them.

"Are you going to tell me how it happened or awkwardly stand there looking at your sketchers?"

"They're converse..." I say a little defensively. I inhale sharply and look at him. "Peter and I this morning woke up really early and May wasn't there so we just sat there together and yeah."

"And you only kissed, correct?" he asks

"Yeah?" we nod

"I win. Okay, back to this-"

"You win?" Peter asks

"Oh, Pepper and I put bets on you a long while ago saying it wasn't okay to have teenagers who aren't related in the same house together because she thought you guys would get it on or something." Tony explains, "Be thankful I was on your side."

"I don't know which to be more offended by, a bet placed on us, or Pepper thinking we were really that immature," Peter says.

"To be fair, our peers have failed us considerably." I say.

"True." he laughs, giving me his trademark beautiful little smile.

I'm so proud of myself and this book man. I love it a lot. Mostly because I have enough ideas to get chapters out a little more regularly. Granted, no one is reading this now, but I wouldn't want to read a book with six chapters either if I thought it sounded cool. If I'm around forty or so chapters and no one has yet to touch it, I may discontinue it, but this is one book I really like. So yeah.