Chapter 41 ~ I struggle with depression
Isla's POV
I thought that things would get better after reporting to the police about what had happened to us, but boy I was wrong! I was so very, very wrong. The police have opened an investigation and our school administration got into a lot of trouble because the bullying and fighting were happening right under their noses and no one stepped in to stop it.
Sports are a big deal in our town and because of the involvement of the football players, basketball players, and cheerleaders in bullying and attacking us, all games for the rest of the year have been canceled. On top of that the winter formal, senior trip, and prom were canceled.
The seven of us are more hated now than ever before. Even the teachers and parents are upset with us. We were blamed for several kids losing their scholarships and grants for college. On top of that, we were still being called ugly names. Our emails, social media pages, and phones were being blown up with hate mail.
The only bright side to everything was that everyone who attacked me, Sofia and Tyler that day were suspended from school and were facing criminal charges. Since there were only two more weeks before the winter break, we decided to stay out of school and would start back in January in hopes that some of the hatred towards us would die down.
Mrs. Ford, Mrs. Constable, and Mr. Constable were able to persuade the school to excuse our absences without it causing us to have to repeat our senior year. They had threatened to sue the school since they had originally done nothing to help the seven of us.
It was two weeks before Christmas and we were all having a meeting in the living room, trying to make plans for how we were going to spend the holiday. Tyler was staying with us because his parents were called out of town for work again. Isabelle, Emma, and Isaac are spending the weekend with Maddie and Mrs. Ford to see The Nutcracker.
"Let's decide what we want to do for Christmas before the younger three get back home," I tell everyone.
"I would say presents, but let's be honest, you and Tyler are the only two who really have money," Sofia says bluntly. That's what I like about her. She just says it as it is. "The rest of us are basically living off of you like freeloaders." Killian smacks her on the back of the head.
"Don't say that." He growls at her
"But it's true. We don't help with anything when it comes to money." She hisses back. Everyone looks down, feeling slightly ashamed.
"Stop it! All of you." I growl. "Money is not an issue here. It never will be. Y'all are constantly forgetting that I am filthy rich. I don't need y'all to pay for anything nor do I expect y'all to pay for anything." I pinch the bridge of my nose in frustration. "When I invited y'all to live here, I wasn't stupid. I knew money-wise that y'all wouldn't be able to help, but I don't need help money-wise. Y'all have helped me in so many other ways that I feel like there is no amount of money in this world that would be enough for me to repay y'all. So, don't ever say that y'all are freeloading off me or be ashamed to live here."
"Sorry, Isla. I just feel bad because you are always spending money on all of us." Sofia admits.
I cover my face with my hands and put my head in my lap. "I don't... I don't think y'all get it." I mumble to myself somewhat quietly not really wanting them to hear.
But of course, they hear. "What don't we get?" Hayden asks with concern.
I sigh loudly. "Depression. I struggle with depression and it's a lot worse than I let on. Y'all have been the reason why I have been able to keep it under control. Without y'all, I just don't know what would happen."
Nick hugs me. "Isla, you've been through a lot in the past few months. You will get through it. Anyone in your situation would feel the same."
I growl in frustration. "No!" I shout while standing up and pacing the room. "You don't get it. It's not something that I've just recently started struggling with. It's not something that even started when I was being bullied my freshman year." I sit back down on the couch. "It started when I was in sixth grade," I whisper.
Luke looks at me with his jaw clenched. "It was because of me, wasn't it?" With watery eyes, I nod at him. For the first time in my life, I have admitted what caused my depression; Losing my best friend. I didn't know how to cope once Luke moved away in sixth grade. He never even said goodbye. He was just gone all the sudden, and I was left alone. From the very time I met Luke, we had a special connection. I never had that with anyone else until recently.
His eyes gloss over as he walks over to me and grabs my hand. "Isla, I'm so sorry. I didn't know. I didn't have a choice." He says as he hugs me. I cry into his shirt while everyone else just stares at us not knowing what to do.
I pull away from the hug and wipe my eyes with my sleeves. "I-I don't blame you. It's just as time went on my depression got worse until recently. Once y'all entered my life I was starting to be happy again even with all the crap that has been going on. I just hate that y'all can't see what all of you have done for me. Money means nothing to me compared to my friendship with y'all. I-I'm just so afraid that one day I'm going to wake up and you're all going to be gone. That y'all will realize I am not worth the trouble." I cry.
Everyone's mouths are hanging open. Killian runs over to me and pulls me into a bone-crushing hug. "Angel, I will not leave you."
Hayden is next. "Love, I already told you that you are stuck with me forever and I meant it."
"My turn to hug my little sis," Nick says before shoving Hayden to the ground. "You're basically my sister, and I will never leave you either."
"I'm not going anywhere either," Sofia says as she throws her arm over my shoulder. "Us 'school's sluts' have to stick together." She jokes, causing me to laugh.
"Don't call yourselves that," Tyler demands.
Sofia rolls her eyes. "I was just joking around about it because that is what Chelsea always calls us."
Tyler glares at her before hugging me. "I already said that I will do anything for you, and I promise that I will not leave you."
Last but not least Luke pulls me into a hug. "You never gave up on me, and I won't give up on you. I will never disappear on you again, Sunshine." He whispers in my ear.
After our heartfelt moment, we get back to the original topic at hand. "So, what are we going to do about Christmas?" I asked. "And yes, we're doing presents," I say before anyone else can say otherwise.
Everyone smiles when I mention presents. "What if we go somewhere?" Nick suggests
Everyone seems to like that idea. "It would be nice to get away from everything, but where would we go."
"I know where we can rent a cabin in the woods," Tyler speaks up. "I can also get my parents to foot part of the bill."
"Great idea about the cabin Tyler, but I'll cover the expenses," I tell him. "So, let's put it to a vote. Raise your hand if you want to rent a cabin in the woods for Christmas." Everyone raises their hands. "Great! That's settled then. I was thinking we could go up there a few days before Christmas and then come back home after New Years'."
"So, what's the plan for once we get to the cabin?" Nick asks.
"We will make cookies for Santa with the younger ones on Christmas Eve. On Christmas, we will do presents and have family dinner. We can also have a New Year's Eve party. I bet the younger ones will like that, and then do another family dinner for New Year's Day." I say excitedly.
Sofia and Nick are both bouncing up and down in excitement. "This sounds awesome!" She cheers. "We will need to go shopping soon for food, gifts, and other stuff that we will need."
Sofia's POV
"What about a Christmas tree?" Killian asks. I could tell my brother was excited, but he was trying to keep a straight face. Besides us trying to find a small gift for Emma, we don't normally celebrate Christmas. We've never had the money to and it's not like our uncle would do anything for us.
"There's a Christmas tree farm near the cabins. We would be able to choose a tree and cut it down ourselves. I think that would make it extra special for all of us." Tyler smiles widely as he is telling us about it.
"I have an idea," Luke announces. "One of the things we can do at the cabin is to bring stuff for us to each make an ornament for the tree. That would be fun."
"Yes!" I screech. "This is going to be so awesome!"
"If we are going to rent the cabin we probably need to call and make the reservations now," Tyler tells Isla. She nods her head and follows him into the kitchen to make the call.
Tyler comes back into the room after giving her the number to call. "She's going to be on the phone for a while," he says.
Everyone is excited but at the same time, we all know we need to address the elephant in the room... Isla's depression. "So, what are we going to do about Isla's depression? Did anyone know that it was that bad?"
Tyler frowns. "She might have mentioned it to me the day after Thanksgiving, but she had said she was doing better because of everyone."
Luke shakes his head slightly. "This is all my fault. I caused her depression. I shouldn't have left her without giving her some sort of explanation."
Hayden pats Luke on the back. "It's not your fault and you didn't have a choice. Yes, she became depressed because she missed you, but you didn't choose to leave her." Hayden sighs. "We all just need to be there for her. No one needs to treat her any differently. She won't want that. Treat her normally but let her know that we are there for her. Let her know that if she wants to talk about it then we will."
"Hayden is right." Nick butts in. "She is stronger than she lets off and she is stronger than she realizes."
Killian sighs. "I just don't want anything to happen to her. She means a lot to me," he admits.
"She means a lot to all of us. More than I think she even realizes. We aren't going to let anything happen to her." Hayden says.
Isla walks in with a huge smile on her face and we are all thankful that she didn't overhear us talking about her. "I was able to rent a cabin for two weeks. It has five bedrooms and each room has two twin beds in it, meaning that it will be two people per room."
"I'm sharing a room with Isla!" Nick yells.
I smack Nick hard on the back of the head. "No! I'm sharing a room with Isla. She is my roommate here and she will be my roommate at the cabin."
As we sit there, we decide on who would be rooming with who. It's me and Isla, Emma, and Isabelle. Hayden and Tyler, Luke and Killian, and finally Nick and Isaac.
We aren't going to tell Emma, Isabelle, and Isaac. We want to surprise them to make it extra special. This will be the best Christmas ever and I can't wait.
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