It isn't until he sits on Hogwarts Express and meets the Potter boy did his conviction start to break down. The boy himself is nothing remarkable. He has messy hair with hazel eyes hidden behind the glasses and a thin face; nothing like the aristocratic features Sirius is bestowed with. Yet he holds Sirius attention since the time he enters the cabin and introduces himself.

He has been around a few children his age but most of them are from the pureblood family and are quiet and don't speak unless spoken too. This boy, on the other hand, is outspoken and blunt. He doesn't seem to care about the fact that his opinions may not be welcomed in a few places. It doesn't help that he keeps grinning that wide grin of his that holds Sirius enraptured.

Of course, his parents told him about the Potters.

"Blood traitors, the lot of them." She had once snarled. "It will do you good to keep away from them even if they are purebloods Sirius." She instructed him and while he normally obeys her without any questions this one time he wants to make an exception.

This boy is so bright that everything around him seemed to pale in comparison. His smile and his eyes are full of glee even when Sirius introduces himself; like the fact that his family gambles in Dark magic didn't even matter.

Sirius had met kids who are afraid of him, who likes to suck up to get in his good graces and even kids who don't care about him. But he never met anyone who is so open and free and ready to give everything without even expecting something from him.

"I want to be in Gryffindor!"

And Sirius decision is made even though he doesn't know it yet.

oOoOo  

He spends the first week feeling miserable and sad. His mood only worsens when he gets the letter the next day of the sorting that calls him a disgrace to the family name. He is thankful that they hadn't sent a Howler or else he doesn't think he would have been able to control himself.

There are several times a day when he thinks of killing himself.

By the end of the week he decides to try it.

Because without his blood what is he?

And it is when he is holding the potions knife over his wrist that the door bangs open and in comes the reason he is in this mess. He freezes and so does the intruder. He stares into James Potter hazel eyes that had widened at the sight of the knife.

He wants to open his mouth and say something, anything that will not drive the boy away or make him complain to the teachers. But his voice is lost and all he can do is to stare at the boy who looks so hurt and confused.

Just when Sirius thinks that he is going to be reported to the teachers James comes forward and tugs the knife from his hand.

"Don't." And he hugs Sirius so tightly that he feels himself choke a bit.

But it is also surprising how much more easily he can breathe even when James is choking the life out of him.

Maybe this is what friendship was all about.

oOoOo  

Their pair of two has grown into a gang of four and Sirius loves the other two as much as he loves himself.

(But never like how he loves James)

Remus Lupin is the next closest person to Sirius after James and he feels that he can relate to the silent boy more than he can relate to James because the boy knows how it is to be isolated from others and never to receive love from your parents.

How to feel lonely even when surrounded by people.

Of course Remus never says so out loud but Sirius is adept at picking up the small clues that are left around. They never openly talk about it but it is silently acknowledged.

Maybe that's the reason why Remus is the first person to realize what Sirius felt for James is more than mere friendship. But like it had been silently agreed upon, the topic is never discussed out loud. But the glances and looks that Remus throws Sirius when he is staring at James for a bit to longer than normal is enough to convince Sirius that Remus knows about it.

And he can never be thankful enough for the werewolf to keep it to himself.

Peter Pettisgrew on the other hand is the kind of person Sirius detests. But as time goes on the rat faced boy slowly grows on Sirius until he eventually accepts him as a brother Marauder.

Yes he still makes fun of the boy but it is less cruel and mocking than before and he glares at Remus when the werewolf smiles sweetly as Sirius helps Peter with his Transfiguration homework for the first time in third year. He doesn't admit it to Remus that it is only because he feels deeply ashamed when he thinks about the fact that people are not born equal and it isn't their mind, body or problems that define them but rather how they act towards other and how they face their troubles that do.

After all, he is one of the most flawed people out there and yet he is still lucky enough to have friends who love him and who he loves back.