I was reluctant

but I'm back

and it feels like a piece of me that was missing has returned

like seriously I'm so happy

((bro I'm so emotional it's been like, what, a week? not even I don't think))

...

Susie

Kris and I returned home. The day had been... something else. People were looking at us weird all day. Although, I guess I'd have to get used to it soon.

"So Kris, about that whole ponytail thing... Do you actually do haircuts, too?" I asked them.

"What?" they responded, a little shocked and confused.

"I'm asking for a friend," I lied, a small amount of heat rising to my cheeks.

"Susie, I'm your only friend. Are you thinking of cutting your hair?" I glared at them.

"Maybe," I huffed. Their face turned a bit pinkish. 

"Oh my lord."

"What's your problem? What, do you think I'd look stupid?!" I mentally kicked myself in the shin for getting so easily aggravated when flustered.

"No, quite the opposite actually. I'm dying just thinking about it..."

"...so then you'll do it?" I asked hesitantly. They nodded excitedly.

...

"So what kind of cut are you thinking?" they asked. We were in the living room. Kris sat on Chairiel with an assortment of hair tools laid out. I sat on my knees a little bit away.

"I don't know, maybe a little shorter than to my shoulders?"

"Gotcha."

"And make my fringe shorter." I forced out. I hadn't mentioned this part before. I felt my face grow red. They hesitated.

"Are you sure? It'll be like that for a while, even though monster hair grows a lot faster than human hair."

"I'm positive. I'm making the change, I'm going all out." They looked at me with a concerned expression.

"Look, don't take this too quickly, ok? I know you just wanna be done with that part of your life, but too big a change at once can be too much. Don't feel like you're being rushed into making decisions."

"Thank you, Kris. I've been tossing the idea around for a few days now, and I've decided I want to do it."

"Okay then. Here we go."

Kris got to work, and slowly but surely started cutting off clumps of hair. It was a little stressful at first, but I imagined every clump as a problem I used to have, and it felt like all my stress and worries were being chopped away, severed from my life permanently. I knew more would grow back, but they would never be the same ones again. It was euphoric.

Then, they got to the fringe. The hardest part of all for me, and the reason I almost didn't cut my hair. However, having gone so far, I decided that it was only fair.

"Close your eyes."

I did as I was instructed, and Kris once again began snipping away. It felt like a new wave of reliefs and anxieties poured over me, almost as if they were being blocked out by my fringe.

"Open."

I opened my eyes, and got clear sight of Kris for the first time in a few weeks. Their chestnut hair, their green striped turtleneck, and how they had their bangs tucked behind their ear, revealing one of their scarlet eyes. They then held up a mirror and I was met with the most beautiful haircut I had seen in my life.

It was short, a bob, but it was still  curly and elegant, it looked shiny and smooth, unlike the greasy, coarse frizzball that I called hair before. And for once, I saw my eyes and didn't feel the need to immediately hide them. Tears welled up, but I blinked them away.

"How is it...?" Kris asked.

"It's perfect..." I grabbed them and pulled them into a hug. Holding them close to me with my brand-new short haircut and the remains of my problems laid out across the floor beside me, I was the happiest I had been in my life. They leaned their head up and kissed me.

"Susie?" they asked, tomato-faced. 

"Yeah?"

"You've always been beautiful to me."

~~~~~~~~~~

uggh finally i can get rid of the stupid cryptic crap on my account page.

what did i tell you guys?

i just needed to sit down and try, and after hours of reloading my instagram page hoping something interesting will show up, i was driven to the point of boredom where giving myself work would be more fun than i was having.

and of course, you already know that once i started trying, i kept going. and i enjoyed it.

so yeah

fun