As the months went by, Timothy called less and less. He missed the priesthood dearly especially Jude. She had always brightened his day but visiting her or to reach her directly on the phone was more and more difficult with Emma growing up so fast. They'd once talked before the girls woke, still dark outside and too early for the patient's morning routine. Just hearing Jude's voice remembered him of the quite evening's in the bakery. How she'd smiled, how delicious her food tasted how soft her hand had felt...

He was a bachelor now. Available for any woman who might be interested but Timothy craved the forbidden fruit, someone who shouldn't be his and the guilt kept him away from her. Finding someone else felt wrong, even when the girls needed a mother figure, he couldn't bring himself to ask someone for a date. He could if he wanted to but he was always comparing them to a certain nun.

After a quite evening, Eva brought him his special picture. "Can we see her again. You said she can cook and I like her. Please uncle Timmy she's so nice." Eva watched him with big brown eyes. Jude had been their only visitor and she felt comfortable around her. Truth to be told, her uncle wasn't the best cook but he always talked about how Jude had made the best food he had ever ate.

Timothy regarded the picture. He'd missed her more than he anticipated. He tried to evade the photograph, the only one he has of Jude. Her smile was contagious and reminded him of what was missing in his life. "I don't know Eva, she might be busy and it's a very long drive."

The little girl was disappointed and went away sadly not wanting to anger him in any way. They'd established a daily routine but both seemed to become bored. Maybe he should contemplate it for Eva's sake and Jude would be probably happy to see them again. But the guilt and shame made him wary, could he invite her without feeling heartbroken after she left. He had fought for so long against the urge and seeing her again would probably cause more damage.

After laying awake that night, Timothy decided they needed a change, if only for one evening. He'd called Jude early in the morning, knowing she would be awake and invited her. Now during cooking dinner he regretted his decision. His hands already clumsy with anticipation, he prepared their child appropriate meal.

Timothy should be happy to see Jude again but after being free of the boundaries that the church had set, he saw his environment differently with all new possibilities. Every blonde woman catched his eyes, hoping against hope it would be her. Their friendship had faded away by their distance but he craved her closeness more than ever. Her intelligence, moral compass, her subtle humor and her overwhelming beauty made him crave like he never experienced before.

He was only human and his devotion to the church honest but without the restrains he felt freedom, of mind and soul. Only that his mind was driving him crazy.

"She's here!" Eva screamed from the hallway after the visitor rang the doorbell. Fortunately she didn't wake up baby Emma this time. "Hello Jude. We can eat now but next time you cook." Eva laughed happily, enjoying having someone else to play with. "I have a new doll too, you want to see it?" Without waiting for a reply, Eva ran upstairs to search her newest toy.

"I'm sorry, she's very happy you could make it." Timothy got Jude's coat and ignored the familiar scent of roses and gardenias. "Thank you for the invitation. It must be really difficult with both girls in the house." It sounded honest and not like an accusation.  He hoped she could forgive him for not having her around sooner. "Yes, they keep me occupied and when they're asleep I'm too exhausted to move a muscle. As I found out, being a housewife is a really tough job, maybe even the toughest." He chuckled lightly but Jude could see something was bothering him.

"Didn't they say a child's smile is making up for everything?" Jude followed Timothy in the dining room and took the seat he offered, always the gentleman. "Oh, that's very true. Even with both crying or screaming, as soon as they laugh again, I'm feeling happy and ... relieved." He whispered the last word near her ear as if Eva wasn't supposed to hear but Jude reacted immediately. His close proximity gave her goosebumps and she had to swallow the lump in her throat. How she'd missed him, sad by his neglecting but also understanding. Surely, soon he would move on with his life without her since she wasn't a part of it anymore.

Both adults ate in silence, listening to Eva's kindergarten stories. She was awfully cheerful and absolutely adorable. Jude enjoyed every second, regretting that she missed the opportunity herself to have a family. They seemed to be so perfect together, Timothy's quite and intelligent character with two loud, happy and chattery children. Puzzle pieces that fit perfectly together.

The thunder outside scared Eva, she stopped eating and ran to Timothy. He didn't comment on it, just sat her on his lap and swayed her like a baby. Jude knew how scary such thunderstorms could be for children and memorized the adorable moment between uncle, or father now and daughter.

Jude insisted on washing the dishes. It was already late but the violent storm prevented Eva from sleeping, so she spent the whole evening with both adults. Jude didn't mind it but Timothy was disappointed since they didn't talk even five sentences together.

"Alright, everything's done. I think I should drive back or I won't get any sleep tonight." Jude cleaned her hands and wanted to get her coat but little Eva was faster. "You can't go now, it's raining." Jude knelt down and held her hands. "But I need to, I have to go back to Briarcliff." She resisted the urge to call it home because it wasn't. Only a place to work and sleep.

"But it's raining, you can't drive. Please stay, don't go outside." Eva started to cry and hugged her as strong as possible. "You can't go, you must stay." Timothy knew what caused her so much trouble and after looking out of the window, he decided Eva was probably right. He mouthed Jude "the accident" since it was a stormy night like this as the accident had happend. Unfortunately Eva remembered the rain and thunderstorm. "She's right Jude, stay for the night and tomorrow morning you can drive home safely."

"But I can't stay away, I have a responsibility.  I shouldn't be here in the first place, how am I supposed to explain that I didn't return in the morning." Jude couldn't just tell Mother Claudia were she went, she was already mad because Timothy had left without informing anyone and now she had to confess that she'd stayed with him.

"Just call the nightshift, tell them you're staying in St. Andrew's due to the storm. No one will check if it's true." He was right, all nuns were asleep and only wards in the nightshift. She looked down at Eva who was still hugging her desperately. "Alright, I will stay but you will have to sleep though young lady. This isn't a pyjama party. But I'll make breakfast, I don't want to be an inconvenience."

Both Timothy and Eva were relieved, Eva because she had been scared for Jude's safety and Timothy could enjoy another meal with her, breakfast.

When Eva was finally sleeping, with both Jude and Timothy at her bedside, they checked on Emma and went downstairs again. "Thank you for having me. It's really for the best to stay here." Jude was cleaning again, not knowing what else to do after calling the nightshift. Having a child around was taking away her nervousness and Timothy was even quiter than usual.

"You really don't have to do this. I know how much pressure you have at Briarcliff. It's already late, you can stay in my room and I will sleep on the couch and there's no discussion about it, you can have my bed." Without waiting for her claiming the sofa, Timothy led her to his bedroom which was downstairs. "Thank you again, I really don't want to intrude." Timothy gave her new a white shirt and made his bed. "You aren't intruding, it was our suggestion that you stay and I'm happy to be able to taste your breakfast. I hope it's as delicious as your dinner dishes."

A soft smile played around her lips and she couldn't stop herself from teasing. "Oh, it's even more delicious. Thank you again and goodnight." She took the shirt and closed the door with her foot, leaving him standing alone in the hallway. The temptation was far too great and she needed the distance.

Timothy stood dumbfounded. She had just locked him out of his room. But just the mere thought of her sleeping in his bed was making him proud somehow even when they weren't sharing. It was probably for the best to end the evening there, he'd hoped to talk quietly with her about this and that but couldn't bring himself to look at her directly.

He went back into the living room and just realised then, he forgot to bring his pyjama. The former priest made himself comfortable on the sofa, just wearing his boxers. The fireplace warmed him comfortably and soon, he was sound asleep after all the anticipation, house cleaning and cooking.

His dreams though weren't as peaceful as his body on top of his couch. Jude filled a gap which prevented his life from being perfect. He knew what was missing but he respected her vows as he respected them himself. It wasn't allowed and he would be damned if he coursed her into breaking them even if he wanted to, desperately.

Timothy woke, startled by noises in the kitchen. He guessed Eva was awake and searching something to drink or God forbid, chocolate. The once holy priest tried to shake away the forbidden fantasy, he needed to be perfectly calm to not scare Eva in the middle of the night.

He went silently into the kitchen and connected with something soft but solid in the darkness. "Ah" his chest felt ice cold as a liquid ran down his naked torso.

Jude had obviously been holding a full glass of cold water which had emptied during the collision. "Oh I'm so sorry Timothy, I didn't expect ya!" Jude lit the little light, sat down the glass and got a napkin which were still folded on the counter after their cleaning. He took the garment and dried himself. "It's alright, I just thought you're Eva who wanted to steal chocolate again."

Just then he realised, Jude got even more wet with the liquid. She'd taken another napkin and tried to dry her shirt, his shirt, his white shirt, his now completely see through shirt. "I'm so sorry, I thought I'd been quite enough to not disturb you." She held the fabric away from her body but couldn't get it any dryer. Jude let the shirt fall again and it slicked against her torso, accentuating everything.

His lump grew, as something else too. Even the different shades of her breast, areolas and nipples were visible. The water had been really ice cold, her body showed it perfectly. He needed to touch her and to dry the second skin, still napkin in hand, he dabbed the fabric. He could see how the movement pushed up her breast deliciously and wanted to knead it like bread dough.

The surprise of his touch was evident on her face, her whole body reacted as her nipple got stimulated through his touch and the icy fabric. He was definitely turned on but as a moan escaped her lips, he suddenly stopped and moved away.

Ripped out of his daydream like state, Timothy snapped into reality and regretted touching her inappropriately. She was a nun after all even when her body was obviously carved by the devil. "I'm so sorry, I will bring you another shirt." He practically ran away to get something else to wear and decided for a pyjama top this time. Nearly down the hallway again, he ran back and dressed in his own pyjama. His boxers felt dirty, hot and cold. And very tight, too tight and probably showing his great assets.

He returned with the new garment and turned away immediately, leaving Jude dumbfounded and disappointed. "You can sleep probably better with this one, it's quite big and ehm, comfortable." The last word was uttered from the dining room and Timothy gone. Jude resisted to cry, he'd obviously no feelings nor need for her. She would have given him her body and soul if he hadn't run away. Timothy had made the first move, catching her off guard but apparently hadn't meant to initiate anything. 

Jude felt ashamed that she had moaned. How could she be able to look at him afterwards? He might be disgusted that she had reacted in such a inappropriate way. Now, she'd her answer, he wasn't interested in her wrinkly old body, just in her mind and cooking skills. Maybe as friends but probably only as former coworkers. He'd told her that Eva wanted to invite her, she'd just been too focused on ogling him.

Their path was set, she couldn't torture herself anymore with forbidden dreams, fantasies and visions. She needed to move on, he obviously already had...