Don't panic.

Tadashi sighed and slid down his bathroom wall. He'd made it home. The tiles cooled his pale skin, paler than usual, and his clammy hands pressed against the ground. He pursed his lips.

Breathe. It'll be over soon.

He'd been dealing with his anxiety for a long time, but it had gotten worse over the years. Exhaling slowly out of his mouth, he stood up and walked to his room, grabbing his headphones, and putting on his favorite playlist. Then, he grabbed a bowl of rice, heated it up, and brought it back into the bathroom. He locked the door, turned the volume up so much that his ears started to hurt, and laid in the empty tub. It seemed weird to others, but it was almost like a therapy for him.

An hour later, the last song in his playlist ended and he climbed out of the large ceramic tomb. Why am I so nervous? I don't have any tests, nothing bad is going on, Tsukki is being nice to me...

Tsukki.

That's it. Tsukki is giving me anxiety. But...why? Is it because...? No! He's making me anxious, so I have to figure out why, or stay away from him.

They're my only options.

Bearing that thought in mind, Tadashi opened the door to the bathroom and stepped out, making his way to the bedroom door down the hall. His bedroom door, however strange it may have seemed to him at first. Once his older brother had moved out for college, it was his room and his alone. No more late-night talks. No more help with homework. No more being bugged about getting a haircut. No more barely clipping his bangs out of spite. No, that was all gone now.

I hope this will all turn out okay in the end.

Tsukishima walked leisurely on the sidewalk, taking his time to pick a fitting song. He scrolled through the options on his phone, but none of the songs seemed to fit his mood. Not today. He sighed and decided to just walk with the headphones on to cancel out some of the noises from the outside world. He just couldn't handle them right now. Sometimes, he could. Not today. Most of the time, Tadashi would be here- Yamaguchi would be here- beside him. The awesome thing about him was that he understood when the tall blonde didn't want to talk. He understood not being able to form words, even when one wanted to. If he needed, Tsukishima could even cry into his shoulder.

Usually, he was here to understand.

Not today.

Tsukishima finally reached his house. He pushed open the front door, took off his shoes, and headed up to his bedroom. He glanced at the calendar. Akiteru was supposed to visit in two weeks or so, around Christmas. He'd leave right after New Year's day. As much as he hated to admit it, he missed his brother as much as he missed Yamaguchi.

 He picked up his phone and scrolled through his contacts, stopping at one in particular.

Yamaguchi Tadashi

He almost pressed the call button out of sheer desperation, but he sighed and put the phone down.

I shouldn't call him. He's probably doing homework or something. I'll distract him and then he'll get mad at me. Then, both our performances will suffer and it'll be my fault.

Tsukishima sighed again and picked up a book.