Chapter 34

The mansion was quiet, the silence punctuated only by Haneul's small footsteps as he padded down the hallway. The boy's eyes scanned the rooms, looking for the figure of Seungcheol.

He peeked into the bathroom, then the living room, but there was no sign of Seungcheol. Haneul's small hands reached up to push aside the ajar door of the last room. The bedroom.

Haneul pushed the door open, the room almost entirely dark except for a sliver of light coming from the bedside lamp. He looked around, his eyes adjusting to the dim light, until he caught sight of the man sitting on the edge of the bed, his head in his hands.

Haneul padded into the room, his tiny footsteps barely making a sound against the carpet. He approached the bed, his eyes fixed on the man sitting on the edge.

"Cheol uncle." he called out in a soft voice, the name almost like a whisper in the still room.

Seungcheol's head jerked up at the sound of Haneul's voice, surprise and confusion etched in his face. He stared at Haneul, his eyes taking in the boy's small form in the darkness of the room.

"Haneul?" he said, his voice a mix of surprise. "What are you doing in here?"

Haneul climbed up onto the bed, his small form bouncing on the mattress. He sat next to Seungcheol, his small body seeming even smaller next to the man's tired frame.

"Cheol uncle." he said again, his voice quieter this time, "Can I ask you something?"

Seungcheol's expression softened a bit at Haneul's question. He nodded tiredly, running a hand through his disheveled hair. "Sure, bud." he said, his voice a little raspy. "What is it?"

Haneul's small face was serious as he looked up at Seungcheol. He fidgeted with his small hands in his lap, as if gathering his courage.

"Cheol uncle." he said, his voice trembling just a little, "Are you...are you still mad at daddy?"

Seungcheol's body tensed at Haneul's question, his jaw clenching involuntarily. He looked at the boy, the innocence in his eyes and voice in stark contrast to the complicated emotions swirling in Seungcheol's chest.

"Why do you ask, bud?" he said, his voice neutral but strained.

Haneul fidgeted again, his small fingers picking at a loose thread on his pyjamas. "Daddy said you're mad at him." he said quietly, his voice quavering a little. "He...he said you won't forgive him. Is...is that true?"

Seungcheol inhaled deeply, his chest tightening at Haneul's words. He ran a hand through his hair again, his fingers clenching around the strands. "It's...it's complicated, Haneul." he said, his voice tight. "It's not that simple."

Haneul's small face scrunched up in confusion, his innocent mind trying to make sense of the complexity of Seungcheol's answer. "But...but why can't you forgive him?" he pressed, his voice laced with a hint of pleading. "Daddy is sorry. He...he loves you."

Seungcheol's heart clenched at Haneul's words. The boy's naive belief in the thought that it could be that simple...it was almost too much.

"Haneul." he said softly, his voice strained. "It's...it's not about forgiveness. It's about...about trust. And...and sometimes, trust can't be regained no matter how sorry someone is."

Haneul looked up at Seungcheol again, his eyes wide and earnest. "But...but daddy loves you," he said, as if that should solve everything.

"It's...it's not just about love, buddy," Seungcheol said quietly, his voice strained yet gentle. "Sometimes... sometimes love isn't enough to fix things."

Haneul still looked confused, his small face screwed up in concentration as he tried to understand Seungcheol's words. He fidgeted with the thread on his pyjamas again, his small voice softer this time. "Does...does that mean you don't love daddy anymore?"

Seungcheol's heart clenched at Haneul's question. "No." he said quietly, his voice almost a whisper. "I...I never stopped loving him."

Haneul seemed to relax a bit at Seungcheol's answer, his small shoulders untensing. But his childlike mind was still working, trying to piece everything together.

"Then...why can't you be together?" he asked, his voice small but insistent.

Seungcheol exhaled deeply, his shoulders slumping under the weight of the question. The answer was complex, layered with pain and hurt and a tangled web of emotions.

"It's...it's complicated, Haneul." Seungcheol repeated, his voice soft yet weary. "Sometimes, even love isn't enough. There are...there are other things, things that get in the way."

Haneul's small face scrunched up. He fidgeted with the bedcovers, his hands working the fabric as he attempted to process what Seungcheol was saying..

"But daddy was sad... he cried."

Seungcheol's heart ached as he looked at Haneul's small form. "I know, bud." he said gently. "I know daddy's sad. But...but it's not as simple as us being together and everything being okay. There are...there are other things to consider."

Haneul looked up lips wobbling. "He said.. he was sorry he said he.. isn't the best father I deserve."

Seungcheol's heart clenched at Haneul's words. He gently ruffled Haneul's hair. "Haneul, listen to me. You...you are the best son Jeonghan could ask for. Don't blame yourself for anything. This...this has nothing to do with you."

Haneul's small face trembled, a few tears escaping his eyes. "But...but he cried." he whispered, his voice so tiny and sad that Seungcheol's heart ached. "He's...he's sad all the time. Even when he smiles, I know he's sad."

Seungcheol reached out, pulling Haneul closer to him so the boy was nestled against his side. "I know..." he murmured, his voice strained. "I know he's sad. I...I can see it too."

Haneul buried his small face in Seungcheol's side, his small body trembling a little from restrained tears. "I don't like it when daddy is sad." he whispered, his voice muffled against Seungcheol's shirt. "I want him to be happy."

Seungcheol ran his hand gently over the boy's head, his fingers tangling in the soft strands of hair.

"I want him to be happy too..." he said softly, his voice a little rough from suppressed emotions. "But...but sometimes, it's not that easy. Sometimes, people... are sad for reasons that aren't so simple to fix."

Haneul pulled back a little, his small face tear-streaked as he looked up the man. "But...but you can fix it, can't you, Cheol uncle?" he asked, his voice so hopeful it hurt. "You...you could fix daddy, couldn't you?"

Seungcheol's heart ached even more at Haneul's plea, the boy's trust in his abilities both touching and heartbreaking.

He exhaled deeply, his chest feeling tight. "Haneul.." he said gently, his voice filled with a mix of sadness and resignation, "I...I don't know if I can fix this. I wish I could. But...but this is something daddy and I...we have to work through. It's not just about me forgiving him, there's...there's more to it than that."

Haneul shakily stood up from the bed. "No.. no you have to fix this." He grabbed his hand pulling along.

Seungcheol's eyes widened a little at Haneul's sudden action. The boy's small body was shaking, his small fingers digging into Seungcheol's palm.

"Haneul," he said softly, his voice a little panicked. "Haneul, bud, calm down...."

Haneul's small body quivered more, his breath coming in quick little gasps. "You have to fix it," he repeated, his voice rising in pitch. "You...you have to forgive daddy. You have to!"

Seungcheol felt his heart wrench in his chest at Haneul's insistence. The boy's distress, his belief that everything was so simple and easy to fix, cut through Seungcheol's tough exterior.

He gently pulled Haneul towards him, wrapping his arms around the small, shaking frame. "Shh.." he whispered, his voice gentle yet firm. "Haneul, listen to me."

Haneul struggled a little in Seungcheol's arms, trying to pull back, his small face twisted in frustration. "No," he whispered, his voice breaking. "No, you have to listen to me. You...you have to forgive daddy. You have to make him happy."

Seungcheol held Haneul tighter, his arms encircling the small body firmly. "Haneul," he said again, his voice soft yet firm. "I hear you. I hear what you're saying. But...but sometimes, forgiveness isn't that easy. And...and making someone happy...it's a lot more complicated than you think."

Haneul's small body trembled even harder, tears streaming down his face as he continued to struggle against Seungcheol's arms. "No," he whimpered, his voice almost a wail. "No, you don't understand. Daddy is hurting. He's...he's lonely. And...and it's all because you're mad at him."

Seungcheol's heart constricted at Haneul's words. The boy's innocence...his naive belief that Seungcheol's forgiveness could solve everything...it was almost too much for him to bear.

He stroked Haneul's hair gently, his own eyes getting a little misty. "Haneul.." he said again, his voice a little gruff. "You don't know everything, buddy. There...there are things between me and daddy, things that you don't understand."

"I don't care!" Haneul wailed as he pulled his hands desperately dragging him to Jeonghan room.

Seungcheol's heart sank at Haneul's desperate pull. He gently tried to stop the boy, but Haneul's small body was filled with a determination.

"Haneul," he said again, his voice a mix of plea and warning. "Haneul, stop. Wait."

Haneul refused to listen, his small hands clinging tightly to Seungcheol's, pulling him towards Jeonghan's room. "No," he hiccupped, his small voice quavering with determination and despair. "No, you have to forgive daddy."

Seungcheol felt his resolve weakening under Haneul's insistence. He had been prepared to stand firm, to make Haneul understand the complexities of the situation. But the boy's genuine anguish, his small body trembling with despair...it was unbearable.

He allowed himself to be pulled along, knowing he was walking towards a conversation he had been avoiding.

Jeonghan was sitting on the edge of his bed, his eyes red-rimmed. He had heard the commotion from the hallway and had been waiting, his heart heavy with the weight of the situation.

When Haneul burst into the room, tears streaming down his face, followed by a hesitant Seungcheol, Jeonghan's face twisted with worry but also an edge of resignation.

He reached out, scooping Haneul into his arms, holding the sobbing boy tightly against his chest. "Haneul, baby." he whispered, his voice gentle but filled with anguish. "What's wrong? Why are you crying?"

Haneul buried his face in Jeonghan's shirt, tears soaking the fabric. "I-I just want Uncle Cheol to forgive you." he sobbed, his small body shaking. "I-I don't want you to be sad anymore."

Jeonghan's heart clenched at Haneul's words, the boy's innocent plea cutting through the pain and guilt that had been weighing him down.

He held Haneul closer, his chin resting on the boy's head, his eyes meeting Seungcheol's in the dim light of the room.

Seungcheol stood at the doorway, his chest tight as he watched the scene before him. Haneul, sobbing into Jeonghan's chest, Jeonghan's face a mix of anguish and tenderness as he held his son.

He felt the weight of everything in the room, the complexity of their relationship laid bare by the innocent plea of a child.

Jeonghan looked up, meeting Seungcheol's gaze. There was a silent plea in his eyes, a mixture of fear and hope. He swallowed hard, his voice shaky as he spoke. "Seungcheol.." he said softly, "Can we...can we talk for a moment?"

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