TRIGGER WARNING [CONTAINS VIOLENCE AND STRONG THEMES]

''Dude, it's been a week that I've been asking you the same freaking question but you are avoiding it again. People might think that I am stupid because I joke around all the time but I am really good at listening to people and especially you, my best friend, my brother'' Tae said calmly while they were drinking hot chocolate at Jimin's house.

''What if you judge me ? I can't bear to lose you. This summer changed my family's behaviour towards me'' Jimin said and almost teared up.

''I know you for 15 years. Every single thing we have experienced together has left nothing but a smile on my face. Don't tolerate the pain alone bro...'' Tae hugged him.

''Just don't tell the others...'' Jimin whispered.

''This summer has honestly been the worst a person can experience. I actually visited my uncle in Spain, just for a little while though. He lives in a farm . It was so beautiful. Every time I woke up and went out in the balcony I admired the beautiful sunset and the pastel colours of the sun in the sky. I was sitting there reminiscing memories and calming down...When my little cousin Matias tried to introduce me to their gardener.

''Jimin, sorry that I didn't knock but I was excited. Too excited actually. Well I remembered how passionate you were for dancing and that Mrs. Park never really liked it so you never went to a dance school and staff...Alex here...say hi Alex''.

''Ehhmm ...hi Jimin...''.

''For the love of God...anyway he is a professional, he might be able to show you one thing or two.''

''I am leaving in two weeks Matias. I don't think that I am such a fast learner''.

''Why don't you give me a shot ? You might be better than me...which is impossible but still'' Alex said.

''It's a challenge man'' I said happilly.

I've always loved dancing. The movements, the flow your body makes to the music, peoples' applause , the unlimited amount of gratification you feel when you know that you did something that you love and that you did it good.

I wore some sweater pants and a sleevless shirt, that  I shouldn't have worn because the heat was unbearable.

''You can remove your shirt. It is actually better dancing without it'' he said.

''Fine, I just wanted to inform you that I know the basics because Ι practise alone in the gym.''

''You shouldn't be bad then'' he said with a smirk on his face. ''Though the barn is much bigger than here ,so Ι suggest going there''.

''I don't really mind'' I said.

From the moment he started dancing I immediately realised how good he was. He had a perfect posture and never fell once, since you know I happen to fall down a lot. When he finished he challenged me.

''Pick whatever song you like and whenever you are ready...''

I chose ''Paramedic'' by Kendrick Lamar because it seemed like a nice choice on my head.

I pressed the button and I danced. I could feel his gaze on me and Ι didn't know if I felt scared or aroused. Probably scared because he was a great looking guy I assure you, but I never liked him like that. When I finished he run towards me and whispered to my ear...

''You've won. Take your trophy'' ...

and he kissed my lips hard. I tried to push him by somehow he had trapped me on the wall.

I protested at first but then I felt good since it's been almost three years that I have kissed someone. So I went with the flow.

Suddenly he got me startled as he grabbed my ass with both of his hands, moaning.

''Can you just stop? '' I teared up.

''I want to taste you'' he said.

''Stop, please...I don't want this''.

At that moment everything felt terrible. How could I be so naive ? How could I think that somebody must have cared about me and tried to help me? He only wanted to take advantage of me....and then the door opened.

My mum walked in and hit Alex with a shovel. I stood there crying , now thinking of the possibility of what could have happened.

And then as I was waiting my mum to come and hug me and reassure me that everything will be okay, she slapped me really hard.

''Since when were you into guys? Since when do  you think you are allowed to disgrace our family like that?'' she said furiously.

''Can't you see that he attacked me? He almost ...'.'

''All I can see is the erection in your pants and that you aren't wearing a shirt. Pick your staff  up, we are going back home.''

''But...''

''There is not but...you faggot'' she said and I cried ever harder.

I didn't know why I had an erection. I didn't even like the guy. I felt guilty but I couldn't help it. Maybe it was because I never had someone like that on me before. When we returned here she locked me in our guest room. She took my phone away because she thought that I might actually be in love with one of you. I reassured her but she didn't listen.

Autumn was approaching and school was about to start. I was yelling at her to let me go ,that this is the last year of school and I must attend. Both the window and the door were locked. There was only one thing to do. That was my last shot. I knew she hated me but she loved me deep, deep inside. She couldn't bear the pain of me killing myself. I grabbed the knife from the plate she had brought me and cut my wrists to the point I felt dazed. I hated blood...now not that much. I am used to it. I let it slip through my hands and out of the hole our door had. My mum didn't come at first. I took my sheets to close the wounds but the blood didn't seem to stop. I fainted. It was at that moment she bursted into the room and drove me to hospital.

When we returned home she gave me my phone ''I am giving you this back. But if I ever see you kissing a guy again the thing that you did to yourself will be done by me''.

'''This was my summer. I bet you didn't expect it to be like that ahh?'' Jimin was crying. He had to be strong. Why are you crying again in front of someone you idiot. He thinks you are weak now.

''Jiminie...I don't know what to say. I am sorry that I wasn't there for you. I am sorry. You cannot let her treat you like this. Is your dad aware of the situation ?''.

'''He was in Australia all summer long, for a business trip. He is still there. My mum won't say it to him because she doesn't want to make him feel embarrassed for me.''

''Jiminie, you are amazing, do you know that? Be patient it's only one year. Then you won't have to put up with their bullshit ever again''.

''Tae, I am scared. I am scared of my family, how is this possible?''.

''I am part of your family. Are you scared of me ?''.

''No...not at all.''

I woke up. School again... aahh. I have to admit that I am feeling better after our little talk with Tae. He is such a great and caring person. Why cannot Kookie see how in love Tae is with him.

I saw the clock and I was already late. None of my friends were living in my neighbourhood so I walked to school alone. I wore a black shirt with a rose stamp on it, a pair of black jeans , I took my glasses and my backpack and left home.

While I was walking to school, a very familiar face was walking behind me.

''Why don't you just scream my name so that we can go to school together?'' I said.

''Don't you remember? I don't really know your name.''

''Jimin. Park Jimin'' I said.

''I know we are in the same class you idiot'' he laughed.

He laughed. He had a gummy smile. I must've blushed because his expression changed really quickly.

''Shall we?''

''Yeah, yeah lets go''.

''Don't expect me to talk a lot on our way to school.''

''I don't really mind'' I said, wondering why he isn't going to school with his twin sister.