My Half

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Author's POV

Night took over, and the Royal was getting ready for dinner. It wasn't a usual thing to eat together, but the King requested for whatever reason, and they didn't have any choice but to compile. Jeongguk took his supposed place with Hieora missing beside him. But that was not what disturbed him. No, certainly not. But instead, the empty seat opposite him. The crown prince glanced at it, frowning deeper when it remained blank; no sign of it to be occupied soon. 

‘Where is he?’ He thought to himself and looked around, expecting to see the familiar beauty. But to his despair, not even a shadow could be seen. Curiosity stirred in his abdomen, ignoring how his heart was screaming to see his husband. He sighed and looked down at his untouched food, having literally no appetite to eat. He needed to see Jimin.

“Your Majesty, have there been any new findings in the Hieora case?” He heard Queen Kim urgently speak, catching his attention as he focused on the elder with bored eyes. He just wanted the dinner to finish quickly so he could check up on Jimin. He was impatient. It was weird and unusual for the man to be absent suddenly. And Jeongguk had been getting bitter feelings about this. 

“The investigation is yet to be concluded, My Queen. Bear patience. The crown prince is overseeing the matter.” The King replied, and Jeongguk watched Queen Kim glance at him with an unidentified look. The table leapt in silence as an uncomfortable atmosphere surrounded them, leaving Jeongguk no choice but to maintain his eyes on the woman he silently despised. 

“Where is Jimin?” She suddenly questioned, and the whole members looked at him, waiting patiently for his explanation over the fact his husband was missing. Taehyung, though, seemed to be interested in the topic, and it made Jeongguk badly want to punch that face to death. “He's indis.” He lied shortly without thinking much. He didn't even have a single clue about what was happening, let alone justify anything. 

Damn, he felt useless as a husband. How ignorant of him. 

The Queen hummed, sipping on her rice wine. “Could it be that he is genuinely ill, or is there a deliberate attempt to evade our presence?” Jeongguk furrowed his eyebrows at that, not understanding what she was trying to say. Avoiding? Why would Jimin want to avoid them in the first place? “Considering the facts, his whereabouts during the incident remain a mystery. I wonder where he was?” 

Realization hit him like a truck as Jeongguk glared at Queen Kim.

“I request that you refrain from interfering in his matters. Be mindful of your words, as Jimin is my lawfully wedded husband.” He warned and eyed the woman with anger. 

“I harbored no malicious intent. It was only justifiable for Jimin to be part of the occurrence.” Queen Kim replied softly as the King remained silent, seemingly thinking deep about her words. And it made Jeongguk scoff, unable to believe the reaction. The woman was determined to make Jimin a suspect, and his father was buying it. Not enough of that, it made both of them look bad. Jeongguk could be accused of hiding Jimin's crime as he was leading the investigation. 

He chuckled mentally when everything came down to him. How greedy… She was trying to make the King doubt him as a crown prince so His Majesty would pass it over to one of her sons. Most probably, the 4th prince. 

Jeongguk glanced over Kim Taehyung. It occurred to him that everything was planned ahead. They were really greedy for what was his.  

“To censure without proof is futile. I advise against implicating my husband in this situation.” He emphasized and stood up, taking the opportunity to leave. He didn't know what he would do if this kept going on. But one thing for certain it wouldn't end how they had planned. He would make sure of that. Whatever they were planning would all go down the drain. 

The room leapt in silence once again as Jeongguk took that cue to leave, turning around without sparing them a glance. He sighed when he stepped out, instantly greeted by the moonlight reflected on his golden skin. He set those heavy thoughts aside and made his way to Jimin's room. It didn't take long for him to reach the familiar door as he stood in his place, slightly biting his inner cheek. 

He was nervous, needless to say. It wasn't the first time he came here, but he couldn't help but hesitate. Though, this was his first time walking here to check up on Jimin. It was odd… However, it felt right. His heart was beating fast against his chest. A certain reaction that nobody could explain.

He sighed, decided to act normal, and pushed the door open. A faded smile unconsciously crawled up to his face as his doe eyes scanned the view in front of him. He walked closer to the bed, carefully slow to not make any sound. Jimin was sleeping sideways with a few strands of his long black hair covering his face. The older one was wearing a pure white gujangbok, covered by a red blanket all the way to his shoulders.

Jeongguk stared down at the beauty, feeling himself drowning in the ocean of feelings he badly wanted to swim away. But there was no use. It was like walking down a long staircase, and he skipped one and slipped. And instead of falling down harder, he fell in love deeper…

Unknowingly, his hand moved on its own, softly removing the strands to give himself a proper look on his husband. Perfect was the word to describe what was in front of him. Jimin looked so peaceful… so artistic… so delicate and collected… unlike when he was awake. Of course, the beauty remained. Yet somehow, in some way, whenever Jeongguk looked in the hazel eyes, it seemed like there was something more to tell. Something more to show. 

Jeongguk took a deep breath, humming slowly as he held out his hand to brush Jimin's left cheek. No thoughts in his mind, just a feeling that was left behind. The touch was gentle and could barely be sensed as if Jimin would break if he did it any harder. He maintained his action for a few, still smiling as his hand caressed the pale skin, it wasn't utterly delicate, it was mixed between rough textures. It was just perfect. 

Jeongguk let his eyes travel further but instantly regretted the idea when he spotted the apparent deep purple bruises all around Jimin's neck. His breath hitched as he felt his stomach drop at the sin he made. He bit his inner cheeks while guilt crawled up to him, reminding him of what he did. His sight that was clear earlier was now blurred by the tears he held back; threatened to fall whenever he gave in. 

He felt his hands tremble slightly as he grazed the wound he selfishly caused. He wanted to scream, he wanted to yell, he wanted to slap himself, he wanted to apologize to Jimin, beg the older for forgiveness and forget about everything and started all over again. He would do anything if he could rewind the time. It hurts… He never meant to hurt Jimin this way. Yet he did, and that was the worst thing. 

A drop of tear brought him back to reality, feeling the pain gliding down his cheek and wet his skin. He froze for a while before holding out his hand to wipe it off and looked at the crystal like liquid now on his thumb. Jeongguk once read that humans needed salt and water to live, and now he thought how poetic of God to put them both in his tears…

He glanced back at Jimin and looked away. He couldn't bear to stay and do nothing any further. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before opening them again and stood up, walking away from the bed silently. He stepped outside the room and was greeted by a few guards who were on their duty. Jeongguk didn't waste any more time than to ask one of them to get him a Comfrey cream. He even threatened the man to be fast, or else he would cut off his legs. 

The medicine he wanted came exactly two minutes after as he thanked the man and entered Jimin's room again. He snickered mentally to himself. Of course, he wasn't going to do that, but it was funny to see the guard rushed for his dear life. He then sighed as he looked down at the cream in his hand, neatly filled in a tiny Jade case. He clenched it before walking back to the bed and sat by the corner. 

He opened the container and dug his point finger in it. ‘Damn it.’ He cursed as he felt the nervousness in his stirred all over his body. He was hesitating, not knowing if he should be doing this. He knew by the fact he ought to, considering the fact he caused them, but he was scared for some unknown reason. His eyes landed on the bruises once again and shook his head, clearing up the thoughts in his mind.  

Slowly, he swiped the coated finger on the marks. He moved his hand instantly when Jimin suddenly murmured and moved a little bit, almost scaring him to death. He didn't want Jimin to wake up and see all of this. He couldn't face the older man after what he had done. Though nothing could be done to rewind the time, this was the least he could do after hurting his husband. He stayed still for a minute, patiently waiting for any movement, but there was none after, and he took that cue to continue.

Once again, his hand slowly made its way to the neck as his eyes remained on the sin. Just when he was so close, a hand abruptly grabbed his wrist as Jeongguk screamed internally by the sudden action. “What are you doing?” The familiar beauty greeted him. 

“Yeah, in this situation, you're not allowed to ask that question.” Jeongguk replied simply, ignoring how he almost died earlier. He looked down at Jimin with bored eyes, hoping that would cover up the fact his heart was beating so fast because of what was happening. He watched Jimin eyed the surroundings and realized that the older had not yet let his wrist go. 

“Your time here is done.” Jimin spat and pushed away Jeongguk's hand. The younger raised an eyebrow and poked his cheek with his tongue before making a click sound, clearly disagreed. “It's done when I said it's done.” He stated, stopping Jimin, who was about to sit up.  

“Go away.” The older man argued and wiggled his body, making Jeongguk clenched his jaw in frustration. He had never taken care of someone in his lifetime and it was his first time doing so. He came here solely to put the ointment but Jimin just needed to make things harder for him. “Ouch!” He heard the other hissed when he suddenly nudged the purplish skin with more pressure. 

“Now dare to move again.” He warned but it seemed like Jimin didn't like the idea as he quickly dodge Jeongguk's finger when it was about to touch the neck area. “Jimin, stop moving.” He emphasized and grabbed the older's by the shoulders and pressured down the chest with his arms, locking Jimin in a lying position. “I can do it myself!” The older spat and moved away, ticking the last nerve of Jeongguk's patience. 

“Just-!!” He trailed off, almost yelling. “Just let me take care of you…” He lowered his pride and for the first time in his life, he begged. 

It took a hell of a gut to do so and Jeongguk hated how he sounded so pathetic but he desperately wanted to change for the better and treat Jimin like how he deserved to be. And somehow in some way, the action worked as he watched Jimin stop squirming and let his body numb on the bed, silently giving a greenlight to what his husband had pleaded. 

Jeonggun then took that cue to continue what he was doing earlier voicelessly while slightly holding Jimin down so the older man wouldn't move. No words were spoken, yet the tension around them was thick as Jeongguk maintained his composure, avoiding Jimin's eyes at all cost. He knew the other was staring. The gaze was burning holes in Jeongguk's skin. 

“Why?” Jimin suddenly asked. 

“Why what?”

“Why did you suddenly treat me like a human?” 

“I…” He trailed, unsure what to say as he patted down the cream, making sure it was absorbed properly. “I'm sorry.” He apologized, biting his inner cheek. He didn't want to be vulnerable, but his heart ached at the question. Once again, he was reminded that indeed emotions were one of the greatest gifts and curses God had ever given to humans. One moment, it could be a source of strength, and in the blink of an eye, it becomes your weakness at the same time.

And Jimin… was his weakness.  

They leapt in silence as Jeongguk took that hint to also be quiet, not wanting to trigger Jimin as he was here to make amends. Not creating more conflict. He knew Jimin would have a hard time forgiving what he had done, and he wasn't going to rush the older. The skin he had abused… The pride he had crushed… And the heart he had torn. Jeongguk understood it wasn't easy.  

“I hate you.” 

He stopped breathing after hearing that.  

“Why? I'm lovely.” He joked, ignoring how he literally heard his heart crack at the words. 

He didn't know if Jimin said that to see his reaction or if the older one just wanted to let him know. But one way or another, it hurt him. More than he would ever admit. By this time, he had already finished putting on the ointment as he set aside the cream on the nightstand and watched Jimin sit up, leaning against the bed with a blank face. 

“You thought…” Jimin trailed off, catching his attention as Jeongguk focused on his husband. If it weren't for their cold situation right now, he would have definitely complimented how artistic the other looked at the moment. “You thought it was that easy? C-choke me whenever you're angry and then a-apologize?” The hoarse voice cracked, stuttering along the way as Jeongguk glanced away with a deep sigh. 

What Jimin said had somehow managed to raise the anger inside him and stomp on his pride. His hands urged him to do something, luring him to repeat the same mistake. But he knew better than to feed the fire further. His intention was to apologize and make it up for Jimin. He needed to bear patience and showed that he really meant it. If he kept doing the same thing, then their marriage wouldn't go anywhere. 

“I know it’s hard...” He concluded and stood up, he thought the sooner he left the room, the better. After all, who on earth would want to be stuck in a room with a person they hated? He had done enough, and for now, he would give his husband the space he needed. Jeongguk turned around, leaving the ointment for Jimin to use whenever he needed and stepped out of the room with the door open. “But it doesn't mean I'm going to give up.” He finished. 

“Meet me at the archery field three days from now. In the meantime, stay in the room until the bruises are completely healed.” Jimin raised his eyebrows at the sudden demand. 

“What if I don't?”

Jeongguk smirked mentally. He had expected that question. And he wasn't a person who abused their power. He really didn't. But sometimes… they just need a little bit of threat. 

“It's a command, my half...” 

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[A/N: Thanks to that one reader who was flooding this book with her comments. It made me happy to read them hehe♡]

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