Steven grinned down at the treat he snagged from the grocery store when Celeste wasn't looking. He'd just put her to bed and she was his last baby, so he was free to snack on it while Connie was on a date with Hazel and Adam.

Jasmin happened to walk in as he pulled it out and he smiled, eyes tracing down her body for the briefest of seconds. He wanted that dessert too, right after this one.

Then he blushed in horror; the food kink wasn't coming back, was it? He was nearly 58! That was way too old to be indulging in such a thing probably, even with his 27 year old body.

Her eyes locked on the packaging. "Oh my cosmos, Steven is that a Klondike bar?"

He smiled a little and nodded quietly. "Yeah, it's my treat for surviving a Celeste Smackdown."

Celeste had Steven's siren scream, and... well he loved his daughter but he seriously wondered sometimes if some of his own edginess had transferred into his unnerving daughter. She was exceptionally smart, both street and school smart, and she was a crafty little thing. She could find any loophole in the entire world, and when it didn't work sometimes her crying caused various things to break. She loved her parents and mooched off of Steven all the time because despite their differences, he loved being her parent with all his heart. Sometimes she was just... a little unsettling. Her bright pink eyes would stare at someone and it was like she was seeing their insides. Her giggles though sweet were chilling, and she was constantly blackmailing her siblings.

He just had to wonder if Celeste was the Azalea to his Connie, because Connie and Celeste got along great.

Jasmin greedily licked her lips and moved a little closer, freezing him in his tracks. "Do you know how hard those are to find nowadays? I've been dying for one for literal decades."

Steven was torn: he was a selfish man who preferred to keep his treats, dammit! Years and years of giving his kids (and then the polycules other kids, and then King Mooch himself Jack) and then Connie his food ended up being delightfully unpleasant when he was starving all the time to accommodate new powers.

But Jasmin looked so hot in that cheetah print romper, he was salivating already and he hadn't even opened the ice cream yet.

He opened his mouth but nothing came out.

Jasmin brightened, strutting up to him to run her hands up his chest and purr at him eyeing her like a meal. "You know the old jingle What Would You Do For A Klondike Bar?" He nodded even though he didn't, already trapped in where this could go.

She took the bar and put it back in the freezer before taking his hand. "I wanna do nasty shit to you just for a bite of it."

He let her drag him and glanced back at the fridge longingly. He knew damn well that ice cream was a goner, he'd end up feeding her the whole thing when he loved to watch her appreciate food. Jasmin didn't just eat, she savored and moaned her way through oral bliss.

When she shoved him backwards onto the bed, he realized she was one step ahead of him.

"Let me give you some oral bliss, Steven," She whispered so seductively he twitched against her fingers.

*

Jacob got home and Jasmin squealed, running to jump into his arms so he could laugh and sway with her. They stayed like that for a moment with him stroking her hair and her tucked into his neck in complete silence. The world became better just because they were holding each other. He kissed her temple adoringly and she bunted into him for a kiss on her lips.

Then he set her down and held up the grocery bag. "Remember six years ago when you said you wanted a Klondike bar and then you cried when I told you it's just a thin layer of chocolate over a bland square of ice cream?" His eyes were so bright and excited, it was adorable.

She guffawed and kissed the corners of his smile adoringly. "No, I do not remember that."

He groaned and reached to pull out a 12 pack of Klondike Bars. "I told you I'd find you some, baby."

Her jaw dropped in excitement, and then she turned back to Steven. He'd followed her out and sat down at the island stiffly to stare off into the distance.

Jacob followed her eyes and his brows furrowed in concern. "Hey, Steven. You okay, luv?"

He took a deep breath and turned glowing eyes to him. "Your wife..." His lips trembled between a smile and a woeful laugh. "Just ruined me."

He snorted and hooked an arm around her. "Yeah, she sure knows her way around a strap. I almost miss it."

Steven shook his head quickly. "Sans strap."

Jacob blanched and looked down at Jasmin's horrified expression. "If I go outside and it's a second blue moon I'm going to confirm my theory that you're a wicca."

She tugged at his hand and whined, "Just stay inside! I'll do the same to you a second time..!"

Jacob grunted under his breath and started walking backwards. "Are you a wicca, love? It's okay, I just wanna know." She started to giggle and he booked it outside to cry, "Bloody hell, Jasmin!"