*Before The Olfasmin Wedding, Four Weeks Prior*

Jacob sighed and pulled out his phone to watch his dad's number scroll across it. "Gross." He tossed it to Steven, who raised an eyebrow.

"Not my place."

Scowling, Jacob took it back and answered it. "You've called me 15 times in two days. What on Gods green earth do you want?"

"Son, I-I heard you're being wed from the American news." He could hear his father swallowing nervously on the other end. "I wanted to ask if I may attend."

Jacob pulled the phone away to stare at it in disbelief. "Hold on, Oliver. Give me a moment, yeah?"

He motioned for the gang to come over and he put himself on mute. "Oliver would like to attend my wedding. I know I shouldn't, but if you let me make the choice I will be cruel and you'll think less of me for it."

"Not really," Alex supplied. "I say fuck him."

In a show of hands, they voted on whether or not he should come. They shut their eyes and really thought about it, and eventually came to a decision.

"Oliver."

His dad sucked in a breath. "Yes, son?"

"You may attend my wedding." Jacob chuckled tiredly and locked eyes with Jasmin, who was shaking her head wildly. "But if you so much as breathe the same air as my wife I'll put you in jail. And you know what even murderers do to pedophiles in jail."

Hazel nodded. "Even serial killers will ice a pedo."

Oliver would just have to deal with it, but he couldn't seem to help himself. "Jacob, I'm not a pedophile."

Jacob froze, a blank look of fury overtaking him as he began to shake. He hated his father with everything he had, every iota of him thought about murder every time he so much as saw something that reminded him of him. He wasn't a violent person by any means, not at all. He'd never hit anyone or thought about hurting anyone ever. But his father brought out the very darkest, most vengeful part of him.

The monster.

That's why he joked so much. That's why he spent so much of his time laughing and teasing and loving as hard as he could. Oliver was still on the streets of London, and occasionally America. Jacob needed the escape more than he needed oxygen. If Jacob ever became too serious for too long, he'd kill himself on the spot, and that was the ugly truth.

"Jacob? We've talked about it. Please just let me move on."

Jacob pulled the phone away from his ear and gripped opposite ends of it. He briefly thought about whether everything was backed up and nodded to himself. The glass cracked and the screen blacked out twice before he snapped it in half and stood. "I need space."

Jasmin sighed and watched him walk out the door. "He shouldn't come."

"Agreed."

They had a problem with being nosy, so they watched as Jacob paced across the backyard and shook his head. His hands were planted firmly on his hips, but one could tell he was digging them in. Past his button up they could see his muscles were bared at full force as he tried to contain the boiling rage his father gave him.

He hated this. He hated this monster that rampaged around in him still. Of course Oliver would want to move on after barely hinting at it in a half assed apology. If Jacob dropped it, he would pretend like it never happened. No, he needed to feel the same amount of pain Jacob had.

Was that toxic, or was he in the right? He couldn't tell, and the confusion fizzled out his anger. It was leaving faster and faster with every few therapy sessions. He was thankful for that at least.

An intrusive thought made him break into a cold sweat, dig his knife out of his pocket and drop it where he stood. Upon entering the home again, he shook his head. "I'm so sorry. I still have so much to work on."

"Can I tell you something?" Connie asked quietly. He nodded and she crossed her arms. "I don't think there's ever been a time when you didn't react appropriately. He doesn't have to have your forgiveness if you don't want to give it. He keeps trying to put himself back into your life when you've made it very clear that seeing him causes you mental anguish and suffering. Not only that, but it shows Oliver is selfish. He clearly doesn't care that it hurts you so badly when he contacts you. Even the Rose Quartzes know better."

"His attendance is vetoed, and I'll hire my best Quartz soldiers for security. If they look like you, it's over and they can't go to jail so..." Steven smiled just a tiny bit when Jacob nodded his appreciation.

"Loopholes."

Jacob cried in the shower that night. It was the only place he wasn't self conscious about it, and where he wouldn't get caught. He needed to get it out or he might start breaking things to cope again. His father's consistent raping him was the cause of so many terrible feelings and flashbacks. Connie was right, and the hug they supplied lessened his pain inside. Most hadn't a clue, but he carried constant pain right where his heart was. His mother had known and instead chose to snort white dust while his father had snuck into his bedroom to force him to do things he was far too young to even fathom. A full body tremble racked through him and he sat, turning his face into the water to focus on it.

A panic attack. Another one. Didn't Oliver care that he hurt so badly over what he did? Didn't Oliver realize that so much of Jacob's behaviors were wildly influenced to this day because of it?

He breathed, it was the only thing he knew how to do. The sharp waves pulsing angrily in his chest were strong and frequent. He'd pass out if they occurred for much longer. Pain from the deepest parts of him made him cry out in fear, his mind suddenly deciding he must be dying. The water made it so he couldn't tell if he was crying or not, but when he couldn't stop himself from crying out again he guessed he must have been.

The bathroom door unlocked and Jasmin showed up on the other side with a bobby pin and tears. She climbed into the shower clothes on and all to wrap her arms around him. He returned the favor weakly and sobbed, trying to ignore his body's wrath at his movement. "I'm sorry I'm so fucking broken."

"You're not broken," She promised fiercely. "You're mine and I love you to death. You're just healing."

Jasmin's kindness really showed in these moments, the snarky inferno he loved was replaced by a cleansing flame. Still passionate, but ever gentle. "My life hasn't ever known love like this before you. No one has ever loved me as hard as you do, and no one has ever loved me so perfectly. I love you. I love you."

Every word pushed at his panic attack with spear and shield. Violent chaos raged in him and he pulled her into himself tighter. "One more time. Please."

She pried herself back a bit and looked into his eyes. "I love you." A kiss. "I love you." Another, deeper kiss that made Jacob catch flame as hers licked against him. "I love you."