Steven groaned when he woke up, then immediately gagged at how bright everything was. He shifted, he definitely wasn't on his bed or even a couch. It felt like the floor.

He stiffly turned his head to the side, shielding his eyes as he squinted at a familiar carpet pattern. He was definitely on the floor.

Another groan off to his left sounding a bit echoey caught his attention next. "Ugh, what happened last night?" It was one of the girls but he couldn't put his finger on who.

"I'm car parked, mate," Jacob muttered under his breath. "Bloody hell, the rooms a-spinnin'."

Steven grunted in agreement. "Yeah, I'm definitely hungover and drunk at the same time." A brief flash of last night forced him to sit up, and then brought his attention to a slight stinging on his back. "O-ow."

When Adam finally sat up Hazel gasped in shock. The goth startled and winced at the sound but by the time he could form a sentence Hazel was grinning at him through his headache. "Whats wrong?"

"Nothing at all," He breathed through laughter. "Has anyone told you how hot you are?"

"My ears hurt," Jacob complained. "Blimey, that smarts."

He pushed himself up and Steven burst out laughing. "Oh stars, who convinced you to do that?!"

"Do what?!" He moved a hand to his ear to fiddle with a new addition to his anatomy, small silver hoops. Immediately he shifted his eyes to Adam. "I know you did this," He accused him miserably.

Adam licked his lips and turned to stare. Then they stared at each other for the longest time before Adam chuckled, "You look like you need a top."

"You look like you own a harem," He shot back adoringly. "Daddy, you're so sexy." Jacob then pouted at Steven's lack of stab wounds. "Did you get a piercing?"

Steven pulled off his shirt clumsily and observed his skin, then ran hands over his face. "No, I don't think so."

Jacob leaned a tiny bit to the left and smirked. "Uh oh... I think Connie's gonna kick our asses."

Someone sighed and Connie appeared behind the couch half topless with a tit showing. "How the fucking hell did I get here?" She slurred in confusion. Then she gasped. "Oh my stars, STEVEN!"

But he was staring at the skin below her breast with intense interest. "NiNi, you got a tattoo?"

She scoffed. "I'd never get a tattoo, Jasmin and Anna got tattoos."

Anna sounded off in the music room. "Hold on, I'm coming!" She crawled halfway into the basement living room and collapsed. "Fuck. My skin hurts here." She brushed a hand over her pelvis and her eyes shot open to tug down her disheveled skirt and stare at the mark there. "Oh god, I got a tramp stamp!"

Adam released an evil little laugh and checked Hazel. "Weird. I would've thought you'd be marked too."

"You guys got matching tattoos?!" Connie giggled. "You guys are weird!"

Steven scooted closer and tipped Connie to the side to inspect the inscription under her ear then the pink diamonds dripping from under her breasts. "Oh my..." He rumbled. "You've got it bad, huh?"

Jacob inspected it next and practically exploded from trying to hold in his laughter. "You make me so damn proud. Smart Girl Gets Corrupted is my favorite porn genre."

She slugged him in the stomach and he fell over, but he was still grinning from ear to ear as Steven kissed over it. "I can't believe you got my emblem and the cut of my Diamond tattooed onto you. You know this means you belong to me, right?" She blinked at him slowly but he wasn't relenting this time. "If you get lost with amnesia, literally everyone is going to know to bring you directly to me."

She cast a wary glance his way as it clicked. "Depends on how you look at it."

"I mean... if I have Adam's mark, that definitely means I belong to him," Anna stated happily. "It's so sexy, I love the rainbow outline, Daddy."

He pulled his eyes away from it to continue checking Hazel. "I'm gonna do something about that when I'm not so hungover."

Hazel squirmed and batted at his hands. "There's no way—," He yelped and Adam pushed his shirt up all the way to trace his finger around his nipple piercing. "Stop. This is so hot, H. What am I going to do with you, huh?"

Hazel moaned at the pleasure he got just from his cool fingers teasing at the flesh there, then jerked his hips. "H-holy shit, my nipples are so sensitive..."

Adam smirked but removed his hands before he lost his control. He was way too hungover to do what he wanted to do. "Gonna do something about that later, too."

Then he noticed his other arm, his galaxy was finally complete. "Whoa, this is stellar!" He exclaimed as he tugged off his tank top. Little galaxies drifted across his chest complete with nipple piercings and he sighed when Hazel rumbled his excitement. "Karma."

Connie forced Steven on his stomach and revealed an entire galaxy stretching along the expanse of his back with stars and planets and Homeworld at the very center. Over the top in luminous script was 'Universe'. "I thought you didn't like wearing your name," She pointed out coyly. "I like that the stars go down your biceps a little. Flex for me, Big Boy." He flexed and she kissed over the inked skin. "Approved."

Jacob hummed at Jasmin with interest. "What did you do last night?"

She giggled, already blushing at him so hard he wanted to attack her. "I know we fucked in the back alley. Twice."

His hands and eyes went shamelessly over her body, if he wasn't still half wasted he really would fuck her again regardless of his audience. "Nothing. That's very odd."

Jacob was smarter than he acted though, and his hand slid down to cup over her pants. Jasmin kicked at him and cried out in discomfort and he beamed. "If there's a god, please let me find a VCH."

Adam's jaw dropped. "No way, I wanna see."

Jasmin eyed him and rolled her eyes. "Please stop getting more sexy."

When he raised an eyebrow she broke out in a sweat, his eyebrow piercing along with those snakebites were that pleasing an addition. It fit his smirk so well. "No."

"He wants to encompass the world with his hotness," Hazel mumbled as Jacob inspected Jasmin carefully and squealed his excitement. "VCH?"

"VCH," He confirmed, dropping a kiss there. "Gonna have to find whoever did this and wack them for touching you here, but I'll pay for their funeral expenses for making my life that much more amazing."

Jasmin blushed and wrestled her panties back up. "God I wish I knew what happened last night and what lead to this event."

Alex sauntered downstairs looking bright eyed and bushy tailed. "Oh fun, you're awake. Did you all have a good nap?" He asked in a condescending, babying tone. Before anyone could answer he nodded. "Good, good. Anyone wanna see any videos from last night?"

Adam perked up. "You came with us? Group date?"

He snickered and kissed his cheek three times. "Uh huh. You could say that, too."

He hooked up his camera to the theater room TV and chuckled. "I labeled these so I knew who should be the most embarrassed. First up is Steven."

The hybrid whined and slumped in his seat. "Why me?"

It quickly became apparent why he should be embarrassed. He was clearly high on something and giggly, and leaned up against both Hazel and Connie somehow as he described the galaxy to an amused tattoo artist.

*

"It's like..." Steven trailed off but couldn't stop laughing because he was pretty sure Hazel was tickling him or something, he felt like squirming. "Listen, you know the galaxy we live in?"

The tattoo artist laughed. "I'd like to think I do, Mr. Universe."

Steven threw on an accidentally charming smile. "Mister Universe is my father. Please, call me Steven." He was so goddamn smooth and he didn't even know it.

They blushed but remained as professional as possible with Connie, Jacob and Hazel staring daggers at them and then everyone else. "Right. Well if I could get a layout of the galaxy you're thinking I'd be happy to do your tattoo. Are you drunk by any chance?"

Steven gasped in offense and placed a hand over his supposedly broken heart. "I'm high on life and I cannot die probably! Your guess is as good as mine."

Despite his ambiguous answer, they decided to do it anyways with every tattoo artist available. Steven only seldom seemed to notice the needles in his skin, with an occasional growled, "Shit, that hurts like a son of a bitch," being forced from him in a particularly tender area.

Connie kissed his cheek and squealed, "Your first tattoo! Look at my big boy~!"

He blushed and glanced around. "I think I'm realizing I want a beer."

"We'll get Baby all the beer he wants when he's done!" Hazel shouted in triumph. "This is gonna be so fun to play games with when I'm breaking your back!"

Multiple laughs filled the room, including Steven because he was too out of it to be embarrassed. "I mean you should really be focused on my ass. I can get a brand to entice your eyes," He flirted boldly. One of the artists had to pause to giggle into her hand before she started on the planet she was working on again.

"He is pretty cute," One of them muttered. He raised his hand briefly. "Respectfully."

"Aw I know I'm cute," Steven swooned. His legs raised to swing back and forth like a lovesick girl. "I hear it all the damn time and my heads so big I don't even know how I manage to get it stuck between people's legs all the time."

Screams of entertainment and laughter erupted this time and Steven grinned to himself. On his break he was shown intertwined with Jasmin due to jealousy.

Jacob rolled his eyes and slumped against the wall. "She's my wife. Read em and weep."

Steven growled his frustration. "But look at this face! Can't you share?"

His jaw dropped in offense. "I have been sharing my wife since before we got married."

Jasmin scrambled away as the boys started play shoving and then Jacob tripped into his arms to initiate a very handsy kiss.

When he laid down to finish his tattoo, Steven gaped in wonder. "This is so comfortable! Where do you find beds without girls in them?"

*

Steven sighed painstakingly as his polycule giggled and teased him. "I am not doing a good job of being Homeworlds Ambassador."

"It makes you more relatable and human," Alex assured kindly. "I don't think this will get out." He scrolled through and chuckled at Hazel. "I only ranked Steven above you because of his lack of filter, but only just barely. You should be very embarrassed."

Hazel turned his eyes to the screen and prayed Alex was just messing with him.

*

He was laying on a table with Adam and Anna holding his hands. "I'm a little scared, is it gonna hurt?"

Adam fought away his smile. "Only a little baby. It'll hurt a bit more than when I spank you."

Hazel was too strung out to realize he was teasing him, he nodded trustingly. "Anna, do you think I'll still be hot?"

She snorted and gave him a sloppy kiss to the cheek. "You're always hot. This will encourage me to have you both walk around topless now." When both boys smiled at her she burst, "The Tabb-Johansson house is now a topless boys house! No more shirts at home, I wanna feel and look at your muscles and piercings whenever I want. Eye candy."

Adam scrubbed at his cheeks bashfully, his trophy wife sometimes affirmed him without even trying and it was euphoric. "Of course. Anything you want, baby."

"Okay, so I'm gonna clamp your nipple and then it'll be a little pinch and you're done on that side," Chloe, he remembered her name suddenly, said to him.

His eyes welled with tears even though he started laughing. "Okay, I trust you."

They cooed at his nervousness and Adam murmured something into his ear that made him relax his body. He stayed there telling him something that was probably dirty until the first piercing went through and Hazel sucked in a breath to moan loudly.

Like so loudly the entire room went silent enough to hear the highway traffic around a mile away.

Hazel opened his eyes and breathed in a shaky breath. "What... the fuck?"

Steven, the giggly bitch he was, started wheezing in laughter, shortly followed by Jacob's legs giving out to do so on the floor and then everyone else.

Adam whooped and high-fived a flustered but chortling Chloe. "That's what I'm fucking talking about! One more time!"

They counted down and the exact same thing happened: Hazel moaned and gripped the hands he was holding hard. "Uh oh."

Jasmin threw her sweater over his lap before anyone could notice but it was a rather obvious cover up to what he was hiding. "I'll keep this in mind for sure."

They tried not to laugh at him, they really did, but then Adam went back into the van and came back with sweatpants. "I packed these for you when we decided to do this. You're welcome."

Hazel snatched them and trudged toward the bathroom. "You're such a perfect husband."

Adam's eyes dropped to the wet spot he could see and nodded. "So are you."

*

Hazel buried his head in his hands. "Oh god, poor Chloe! I busted all over her table!"

Adam shrugged. "I'm going to be getting off to that forever. I thought it was hot."

"I thought it was karma," Jacob replied smoothly. "For all the times you force me to grind until I bust twice."

Anna patted Hazels head. "Now you know how we feel, butthead."

"Speaking of butts," Alex cut in animatedly. "Anna, you missed a piercing~!"

*

Anna had her skirt pulled halfway down with Adam staring as hard as he could, then Jacob and then all the boys plus Connie and Jasmin were just observing her perfect bubble butt while the male piercer Jeremy calmed Anna down. "It shouldn't hurt too much, but it's definitely a doozy, little lady."

Anna gasped excitedly. "My boyfriend does a country accent just like that. I'm ready!"

He chuckled and glanced at Hazel giving him a warning stare, then Adam. "It's all professional, just gotta get my clamp here and then it's one and done."

She squeaked in pain but the end result had Jacob blowing out a low breath. "Brilliant."

"Are you staring at my girlfriend's ass?" Adam asked lowly. "Watch your eyes."

"Can't see em from here," Jacob said as he openly stared a lot harder and licked his lips. "You can, though."

They started play fighting until Steven picked both of them up. "Since you guys can't be grown ups that means me and Hazel get to double team her first."

Jasmin raised a hand. "Can I watch?"

He shrugged. "Yeah. May as well since you two are next."

*

"We are so bad at being respectful to the common public," Anna cheered proudly. "TiBNAALD is already banned from Macys forever, then we went to a piercing and tattoo place and verbally fucked on the counters! We're all party animals now, Ni."

"Oh my god, Anna, let it go! That game show was nearly thirty years ago!" Connie begged, then burying her face in her tits. "It's warm in here."

Alex caught Adam's eyes and he blanched a bit. "Wanna see you being a problematic top?"

He nodded quietly.

*

Adam took his eyebrow piercing with a tiny growl. He was done so fast it was almost impossible to believe that as soon as he was done he was flirting with Jacob with no signs of pain. "So, you come here often?"

Jacob was getting his ears pierced, apparently, but glanced over to observe him. "No. You said I should get my ears pierced."

Adam hummed and circled around to the other side. "Small silver hoops," He told the lady, handing her way more than she probably needed.

Jacob raised his eyebrow. "Why silver hoops?"

"One it tells anyone walking by that you're probably queer, two it says you're a bottom or a switch, three..." He leaned down to kiss him hungrily and Jacob grabbed his biceps to squeeze and feel the muscle there with a starving giggle. "And it tells everyone you like it in the butt and moan like a girl all for me."

"Selfish Husband of mine." Jacob rested his chin against Adam and completely lost his inhibitions as his last hit of weed hit harder. "I know you're gonna say it so just say it, Daddy."

Adam considered it and danced his fingers up the back of his neck while the needle was set up. The soft huffs of pleasure were driving him nuts, he wanted to get him off right there so badly. "Yeah? I don't think I will, I think you'll get too excited," He mused softly. He loved rubbing his thumb over Jacob's cheek, he loved the way he whimpered and melted into it. "You want it that bad?"

Jacob hid his face in his stomach. "You're gonna do it anyways. Please!"

Adam lifted his head and gazed into his eyes with a gentle, lulling purple to his. "Buttslut."

Before Jacob could respond the first piercing went in and he moaned, "Mean." Then he gave him his best puppy dog eyes while his hands bunched into the fabric of his shirt to keep him close. "Again."

Another piercing and Jacob was head over heels infatuated with the look, especially with Adam grabbing him by his neck for a cute picture. "I feel pretty," He mumbled shyly. His heart picked up because it was true, he felt so beautiful, but like a woman.

"You are pretty," Adam answered sincerely. "You're the prettiest male wife in the world, baby."

He went so red he just passed out, and then the video cut.

*

Jacob tossed up his hands. "That's what I get for drinking mixed drinks. I only get super fucking gay like that when Jasmin feeds me cocktails!"

His wife shrugged and carefully readjusted on his lap. "I like watching you be gay. It's sexy."

"The most masculine thing a man can do is kiss another man," Connie agreed to Steven. "Well, that and let one fuck you. It's like pecking order or something."

Alex laughed authentically and pointed all of them. "You're all out of control freaks. I've been watching you fuckers take turns railing each other for over 50 years now. Speaking of railing..." He turned and pushed down his shorts to show the boys the brand on his butt. He'd gone simple: a small X with their initials in fancy script between each line. "You guys are really quiet," He said after a moment. "Do you hate it?"

He turned and found the boys starstruck and teary eyed, with hands over their hearts and mouths as they gazed adoringly at him.

He assumed they liked it.