Steven was choked up but tearless day after day with his wife in his arms sitting next to that damn tank that kept their baby alive. There should've been two, he should have two sons now. The ache of it being his fault was lifted but it didn't give him much peace. He already missed baby Cosmo, but the funeral had gone rather well even if he'd barely been able to speak a word, much less actually talk about it with anyone or give his full speech.  

Connie cried a lot. She was depressed. His lively, spunky wife was soft spoken and zoned out almost all of the time. They hadn't had a single fight about the way they chose to mourn, they just did it together. She was eating less too, and Steven was thankful to have partners who were so gentle and let them cry wherever. All of the children had picked up that something bad had happened, some even hugged Steven and Connie and told them it would be okay with all the childlike innocence in the world.

Lucky and Azalea came to the hospital with whoever was visiting and watched baby Comet grow until finally a doctor walked in with a lighter attitude. "Hey, Mom and Dad. How are we feeling?"

How was Steven feeling? Nauseous, depressed, guilty, guilty, guilty. Heartbroken and destroyed beyond belief. Out of everyone, he'd never expected it would be them that miscarried. He supposed that was why it had happened. "I'm okay," He lied softly, gently rousing Connie.

She woke up and started to cry like she usually did now. "S-Sorry," She mumbled. "How are you, Dr. Maize?"

She apologized all the time now.

Dr. Maize gave them both a sympathetic look. "Well, I have some good news: Comet is the size of a healthy, full term baby now. He's a couple of weeks behind development-wise but that's to be expected."

Steven stared at him with wide eyes. "Is he going to make it?"

The doctor nodded. "He'll be home by next Sunday."

The mourning parents were so happy they fused as soon as they pressed their foreheads together to cry their joy. Stevonnie crossed their legs and wiped away their tears. "We're so happy. Thank you, Dr. Maize."

Dr. Maize departed to grab paperwork they'd need to get started on and they called the polycule for a meet up. Bless their hearts, they were all there in that tiny room with masks and their two daughters in 20 minutes.

Stevonnie smiled wanly at Comet as he opened his eyes. "One comes home."

It gave them such conflicting feelings they unfused again. Steven rested his head on Connie's and sighed. "I'm so happy," He said sounding anything but, but he was. He just didn't remember how to get himself to smile anymore, or even how to fake sounding happy.

It was so bittersweet, but they cheered softly anyways. Azalea walked up to peek into the tank. "He's little, Daddy."

Steven blinked tears out of his eyes. "He is."

Connie pulled both girls in for a hug. "When he comes home, you guys can help."

Lucky wrinkled her nose. "Aw, man. Azalea's diapers were gross!"

They all chuckled at her but Steven's died out so fast he could feel them all being horribly concerned.

Azalea turned to look up at Steven with innocent curiosity. "Daddy, you said there were two babies."

God love her, she was just an inquisitive post toddler, she didn't know. How could she? Steven hadn't told either of them yet, but he supposed now was as good a time as any. "Oh Azalea... I'm so sorry I didn't tell you guys."

Lucky frowned and looked up at the other parents for reassurance as Connie walked out. Hazel patted her head, giving the five year old enough courage to ask, "What happened, Daddy? Why are you crying?"

He sniffled and shook his head sadly. "Cosmo didn't make it, he's..." His eyes swept to stare out the window. "Somewhere in the universe. But not with us anymore."

He couldn't even bring himself to lie and say he was an angel. It hurt too horribly, he would just be giving himself false hope. Energy couldn't be destroyed, but his pride as a parent was. "I'm so sorry."

Azalea started to sniffle but shuffled closer to hug her Daddy and glow. Lucky did too, and together they glowed in silence for the saddest few moments any of them had ever seen. A father held his daughters a little tighter, so grateful that both were alive and healthy. The polycule linked hands and bowed their heads, respectfully keeping the sacred silence.

"Do you guys mind if I walk?" Steven requested in a monotone.

No one said anything, and he nearly slipped away but a hand delicately grabbed his and squeezed. "Pretend I'm not here if you have to. But I have to accompany."

Steven was so grateful for Jacob he couldn't even speak, he just nodded and they started the walk out of the hospital.

He felt extra guilty now. Comet coming home was a big deal, he should be thankful that at least one of his babies got to be saved. He should be thankful, but as soon as they started their walk around the hospital Steven froze in the middle of the sidewalk and sat down to start sobbing. He needed a good cry and had been holding the worst of it in for nearly four months to stay strong for his wife and children.

Jacob dropped to pull him into his arms and rock him. "I'm so sorry, Steven. I wish I could make it better."

He was making it better by being there with him. In that moment he was so suicidal and disappointed. Stars, he'd been so excited for these twin boys, he'd bragged so hard he was positive it got annoying. And now he was so disappointed, the title was snatched from him at the least second and it was so unfair. He didn't know what to do with himself. All he could do was hold Jacob tight and cry for all he was worth. "What did I do to deserve this?!" He wailed. "I don't understand what we did!"

Jacob shushed him gently and sniffled himself. "Sometimes it's for no reason. Just let it out, I'm here."

Jacob let his mind go blank, and suddenly they were Jaden whinging in the backyard of the hospital looking up at the sky. Steven had practically seen this playground every day for months, he could've told everyone which parts were rusting away and where the paint was chipped the worst. The swings creaked and upon seeing only two of them, he curled into himself and started up again.

"Cry harder," Jacob urged in him. "Cry with everything you have."

Jaden cried until he was sick, then cried even harder until he got the hiccups. He screamed, he whimpered, he mumbled and screamed that he just didn't get it because he really didn't and neither of his counterparts did either. He didn't stop until he couldn't even produce tears anymore, until his eyes ached, until his urge to cry had passed and he just wanted to be surrounded by his family.

They went back up slowly, trying to think of a reason to say why they fused. Maybe they didn't need the excuse. Maybe Steven just needed to not exist so he didn't end it.

When he came, he came upon a miracle. Jacob split and pushed Steven forward a bit to get him moving. If he hadn't he may have stood right there for the rest of his life in shock.

Connie was holding their baby, trying to encourage Comet to take his first go at breastfeeding. His vision was obscured immediately and he blinked the annoying tears out of his eyes, thankful that was really all he had left.

Connie looked up at him briefly, then did a double take. "I was wondering when you'd have your cry."

It occurred to him that he must look godawful.

Comet cooed softly and turned to blink up at Steven. He gasped softly, enamored with this little survivor. "Look at you," He whispered. "Already a little warrior, just like Mommy."

He kissed her forehead, still getting used to the cooler body temperature she carried and would carry forever now. Her eyes looked up to him again. "Do you want to hold your son?"

There was a tiny, minuscule teasing edge to it. It surprised him so much he uttered, "What?"

She turned to him fully and extended her arms. "I asked if you would like to hold your son. You're gawking, Steven."

A smile played at the corners of his lips but didn't take hold anywhere else but his eyes. Her voice held hers though she looked sad. They couldn't smile yet, so instead he picked up their child and kissed his forehead, too. "Everything's gonna be okay, Comet. I promise."

*

When they came home, their house was immaculately cleaned to the point that they actually kind of thought they'd walked into the wrong house.

But Abel smiled at them pleasantly. "I just got back from Australia and decided I'd do something nice for you."

His eyes dropped to their little miracle and to their surprise, Abel started to cry. "He's got a strong spirit in him, this ankle biter is going to be something extraordinary."

The two parents felt a piece of their broken hearts mend as they followed his eyes and caught him grinning a little in his sleep.