jungkook didn't cheat on taehyung they aren't in a relationship in the first place so how? 😭 and updates will be irregular bc i have a life too and I'm trying to write as much as i could so don't ask for updates i beg you it become so stressful

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Old feelings never die. 

They are usually buried alive and would come forth in uglier ways, they describe. However, in Jungkook's case, he doesn't feel anything for Jackson romantically, not even a little bit. It forces him to use his every strength to push Jackson away from him. 

Eyes wide. Jungkook looks surprised while his lips tremble, immediately reaching to wipe his lips with the back of his hand. It feels wrong when he realised how Taehyung was his first thought after unconsciously letting Jackson kiss him. 

He doesn't want anyone to touch him like Taehyung does. His lips quiver as he snaps his gaze towards Jackson who stood prior to him as shocked as him. 

"I thought…" Jackson struggled to anticipate any sentence. "Kook, I didn't think—" 

"Stop fucking talking!" Jungkook yelled, slightly startling Jackson as his voice echoed throughout the kitchen. "Stop talking." 

"Kook," Jackson reached to grab his hand but Jungkook retracted his hands before he could even touch him. 

"Did I say you can kiss me?" Jungkook spat out, a little harsh — he was angry and regretting turning down Taehyung's offer to stay with him. "I don't date my friends, I don't kiss my friends, you knew all along." He let out a squirm when Jackson stepped closer to him before grabbing him by his biceps.

"I wanted to confess, did I do anything wrong? Tell me." Jackson slightly shook him, making it hard for Jungkook to wiggle out of his grasp as Jackson was stronger than him. "I wanted to confess for long, fuck I waited for it for so long. It's not a joke, try to understand, Kook —please.." 

"Jackson…" Jungkook called out quietly, allowing Jackson to realise how tightly he was gripping on the latter's biceps, making his face unknit scowl expressions. 

"I can't reciprocate you the feelings," 

Jungkook let out a squeak when Jackson jerked him away. 

"Listen—" 

"You like that Taehyung guy that much?" Jackson croaked. "You know he's no better for you," He spat out, face scrunching in anger. "He never will be." He finished, realising how his breathing got heavier with every second passing. 

"You will not decide it for me." Jungkook replied, straightforward. It angers Jackson how Jungkook was so certain about this Taehyung guy. While he hates everything about Taehyung. 

Jungkook murmured. "I'm sorry, Jackson. We will never work." Before he walked away from there. 

Jackson clenched his fists, gazing down at the floor — tears brimming at corners of the eyes. Jungkook never faked his raw feelings towards anything, Jackson deemed when Jungkook said they wouldn't work. He grabs something nearest to his reach before throwing it on the floor, making the ceramic jar shatter in pieces. 

If one has to let go between them, it shouldn't be him. His anger got the best of him and made him take an impulsive decision before sending the voice notes to that certain one. 

Taehyung got the job. 

Candidly, it wasn't a hard one considering how he was a nerd back in school and college days — expertise in his field and subject. Taehyung has always been confident about his knowledge — the only thing which makes him feel powerful unlike his feelings. 

Staring at his own reflection on the huge transparent glass from where he could admire the leaves leaving their temporary residence and ending up crashing under people's shoes — is this how everything has been treated after leaving a home. 

Taehyung took another bite of his pastry which he decided to treat himself on the way back to his apartment like Jungkook told him to do so if everything went successfully and he got the job. So he was sitting inside a cafe. He patted his mouth with a neat napkin before fishing out the phone from his pocket. 

Jungkookie 🥺 calling….. 

Taehyung walked out of the small cafe, greeting the lady baker who was in her late fifties. Jungkook didn't pick up his call for some reason. He glanced up at the sun with a soft glow while his one hand slipped into his pockets and another grasped his drink. He wanted to tell Jungkook that he got the job and he was so happy about it. 

A blush smear over his bread cheeks as he knew he would get the biggest hug and kiss from the younger one after telling him. While he was a little impatient when he dial Jungkook's number again, he wanted to let the younger one know first and quite badly. 

However, a series of unread texts caught his attention from Jungkook's number. They were some voice notes from yesterday's night. His eyebrows knitted together when he heard someone else's voice but his little grin completely wiped away when he recognized the latter voice. He never knew a voice note could turn everything off.

Taehyung slumps on the bench as his knees fail to assist his exhausted body and a heavy heart. He shouldn't be disappointed when he knew it was coming — when he was anticipating it. Nothing lasts forever. There was supposed to be a full stop in their page especially when they remained unlabelled, strangers to something special to strangers again. 

Looking at the setting sun holding the last layers of hues as close as it could, willing to take beams of light back with itself. So selfish, Taehyung chuckled at his random thoughts. Everything around him was selfish, asserting their rights to things they regarded 'their'. It was the nature of every moving thing. 

Eyes misty but those tears weren't enough to roll down on his cheeks. He sat there in silence, allowing the cold breeze to hit his face before closing his eyes. He wouldn't be able to sit like this in silence if Jungkook was with him, who always finds a way to annoy him, in an entertaining way. From breaking into his apartment in mornings in the loudest way to snuggling against him without making any noise whenever he's reading something and falling asleep on his lap. 

He would miss Jungkook, really a lot. But why would Jungkook send him those audios? To mock him? No, the younger one wouldn't do such a thing. To hint him about ending the thing between them? Of course, what else would be. Jungkook already hinted to him about ending things a few times but Taehyung tried to ignore them — deny it that it was nothing by ending up kissing Jungkook so delightedly that he was regretting it now. 

Taehyung knew how Jackson and Jungkook often hang out with each other. He rarely could see the younger one around him once they came back from his hometown. Then why should he seem surprised when he hears the kissing sound after the confession. 

He needed to talk to Jungkook. But he won't, knowing that Jungkook wanted nothing but to get rid of him. Who would even want to stick with someone like him? Taehyung crushed the plastic cup into his tight grasp, not spilling anything over his outfit as the cup was empty, like him. 

It's okay, even though Taehyung knew it was not. He tried to gulp the lump in his throat — it was hard to breathe when his mind was clogged with so many things, his messed up life and losing someone simultaneously whose memories he would love to cherish forever. But again, it was okay. Eventually, he will move on and feel alright again — he has to. In the end it was always him. 

Taehyung doesn't want to break down in the middle of the day, he knew he could handle himself enough to get through it. He fished out his phone and dialed Jin's phone number.

"Yo, Tae~" Seokjin, his cousin brother said from the other side as soon as he picked up his call after two rings. 

"Jin hyung, I finally got the j-job." Taehyung's voice breaks as he speaks, clearing his throat to hide the wavery tone. He wanted to sound enthusiastic as much as he could.

"You— really? I'm so proud of you, Taehyung-ah." He could hear Seokjin screaming and giggling from the other side of the call like a supportive brother that he has always been. "You got it, Taehyung." No he didn't. 

He has the wish to tell this news to someone else — someone who still seems to like a home. However, it seems he was just a temporary resident of that home. 

"Yes, hyung. When are you breaking into my apartment next?" Seokjin let out a laugh, putting down the pen on his desk before pushing his specs back. 

"Soon, Taehyungie." It was a record of them, for not knocking on his door and soon it became an inside joke between them. 

"What about Jungkook? How is he doing?" 

Taehyung froze. "He's good and happy." better away from me… He heard a hum from Seokjin while he was fidgeting with his mind to get rid of the weight over his chest by talking to his brother. However, before he could open his mouth, Seokjin interrupted him.

"Tae, we will visit you soon to celebrate, yeah?" Taehyung nodded, realising how Seokjin couldn't see him so he responded with a 'yes'. 

"I'll hung up now, I have to attend an important meeting," 

"Oh," Taehyung uttered. "I'm sorry to bother—"

"What rubbish. You gave me the best reason to get drunk," Seokjin paused. "I'm so proud of you, Taehyungie. Don't doubt yourself and I love you." 

Taehyung felt better. His brother always knows how to comfort him — however sometimes it's better not to talk about it as it wouldn't change the fact that he couldn't save the edge which already has been eroded. Not everything we want goes like we want. 

"Stop sulking! The day hasn't even started." Jimin said without sparing a glance towards his best friend who has been laying on his back on bed with a prominent pout on face. 

Jungkook finally detached his gaze from his phone to his best friend who was lying by his side on stomach. It was Saturday and it was a sleepover night  for them, just the two of them with some Ariana Grande's music on in the background.

"Well, I am not. What the fuck, Jimin?" 

"Then stop pouting." It only made Jungkook's pout deepens before rolling over Jimin's side to lay down his head on his best friend's arm, watching whatever Jimin was watching on phone.

"What did Taehyung do this time?" 

"Taehyung hasn't been replying to me nor is he picking up my calls since yesterday," Jungkook complained, turning his phone off after a while staring at his last text that he sent Taehyung. 

"But I can wait, he could be busy." 

Jimin snaps his head towards Jungkook, staring at him as if he saw some ghost or something unbelievable. The word 'wait' doesn't exist in Jungkook's dictionary nor he ever tried to understand the word. He saw how Jungkook rolled over and laid down on his stomach.

"Stop staring at me like that, weirdo." Jungkook playfully smacks Jimin's chest, immediately erupting an 'ouch' from him. 

Jimin let out a laugh of disbelief, eyes big. "You never wait for anything." He rolled over his side and propped his chin on his palm. "Aren't you getting too deep into Taehyung?" 

"I can't help when he's the one who has been deeper in me."

Jimin gasped lightly, rolling his eyes. 

"Y'know what, I think I like Taehyung." Jungkook tapped on his chin twice before continuing. "Quite a lot."

"That's quite obvious now. He's handsome, sweet, hugs better than anyone, has pretty eyes, moles, sexy deep voice, big dick, boxy smile and fingers which could reach your oesophagus and is a dog dad ...." Jimin continued, turning his phone off and putting it away. 

"He is a DILF!" Jungkook explained, interrupting Jimin. "And he has such a beautiful and perfect pointed nose," He let out a dreamy sigh. "Someday I wanna ride his face but that's beside my point, how do you know so much about him? Are you in love with him?"

"Because that's all you talk about!" Jimin snapped, passive aggressive. It made Jungkook burst into giggles, shrugging a little bit. "And first of all, ew. I need to bleach my ears after hearing your sexual fantasies. Second, no I'm not in love with anyone at the moment but myself." 

"I thought we needed to break off our friendship because Taehyung is mine." 

"Hoes before bros." Jimin glared at him, playfully choke holding Jungkook.

"Taehyung is not a hoe, what the fuck, Jimin?" 

Jimin wiggles his brows at Jungkook after hearing 'what the fuck' from his best friend for nth time.

"But what if he doesn't like you back?"

Jungkook raised his eyebrow at him — provoked. He despises how his mind took seconds to rethink the possibilities of Taehyung not liking him back. What if they are just fooling around like they had been till Jungkook realised how it is not just the age or handsome face of Taehyung which excites him to see him again but actually the way he would treat, speak to him and be just the sweet Taehyung. 

"He cannot like anyone else but me," 

"What if—"

"That man is mine." Jungkook was ambitious about what he does and what he wants. "He's off limit and I want him, and only him." So there was no way anyone could separate them — it would be inviting a disaster considering how he is. 

"Damn, chill you lover boy." 

Jungkook pushed his tongue against cheek out of habit. 

"Did you ask him whether he has those annoying exes or some crazy lovers?" 

"He said he never had any girlfriend or boyfriend."

"Fuck, WHAT?" Jimin let out in disbelief, eyes wide. "So he got no side chick? What if he is lying to you?" 

"No," Jungkook replied. "Why are you making it so complicated? And of course, he wouldn't lie. I could never expect lying from someone like him like have you seen him when he talks about his favourite things and reads those boring ass books and sometimes looks so clueless wearing his specs and he's so fucking funny." 

"You're rambling, bitch." Jimin deadpan before covering his ears and rolling away from Jungkook who tried to grab him.

"No, Jimin, you don't understand how much I wanna take care of him." Jungkook continued, trying to uncover Jimin's ears who was screaming 'I don't wanna listen to you anymore, my ears are bleeding' while trying best to get away from his best friend who doesn't have the intention to leave him unless he was finished with his 'Taehyung rant'. 

Minutes turns into hours and hours turns into days, Jungkook could find himself getting more engaged in his artworks and pending commission work. He never received a proper response from Taehyung for the past two days. 

He feels hurt. For the first time, he felt a pang of unfamiliar pain when Taehyung finally picked up his call and said a few words that he was tired and he would call him in the morning which he did but Jungkook was sleeping at the time and when the younger one called him back, Taehyung's phone was suddenly switched off. 

He feels so distant from Taehyung. He thought it was useless when Taehyung told him not to set any date to meet him as he was super busy to spare any free time for himself. But he believed it when he stood outside Taehyung's apartment door for 2 hours because first he changed his lock and second he couldn't reach him on the phone again. 

s̶t̶o̶p̶ ̶i̶g̶n̶o̶r̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶m̶e̶ ̶c̶o̶w̶a̶r̶d̶

w̶h̶y̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶a̶r̶e̶ ̶b̶e̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶l̶i̶k̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶a̶g̶a̶i̶n̶?̶ ̶i̶'̶m̶ ̶f̶u̶c̶k̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶t̶i̶r̶e̶d̶

f̶u̶c̶k̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶m̶o̶

Jungkook had the opportunity to jut down his piled up anger on the piece of paper before sticking it on Taehyung's apartment's door but he remembered how the elder one wasn't an asshole that he met in his life but Taehyung. His Taehyung. 

So scrambling the previous notes, he wrote a new one.

Are you eating and doing well? If yes then fuck you and if not call me when you get home okay?

He gave a last glance to the note which he sticks on the door knock before walking away from there. 

"Is that Taehyung?" 

Jungkook snaps out of his reverie, turning back at Jimin. 

"Yeah," He pouts. They were in his art room as according to Jimin, he has been spending way too much time in his art room rather than hanging out with friends. Jungkook hadn't realised it nor does he feel any energy to laugh at his dad's jokes when they were having meals together. His dads were so concerned about him.

While Jungkook feels so drained. 

"I'm giving this on his birthday since he doesn't like gifts from my money." 

Jimin's shaped into 'o' as he nodded at him.

"It is still in progress but I don't like how it's turning out ugh!" Jimin smiled at him before ruffling his hair, immediately erupting a groan from Jungkook grumbling under his breath that he doesn't like anyone touching his hair. 

"You're doing good but don't you think it's not your style whatever you are doing? You don't simply make portraits, you give them your vibes." 

Jungkook stared at his artwork which he has been thinking of giving Taehyung on his birthday. Taehyung hadn't gotten off his mind, not even for a single moment. Taehyung has been distancing himself, alright Jungkook got it. But why? He doesn't know.

"Let's go out now, I feel suffocation staying inside the walls." Jimin cried out dramatically, clutching over his chest before finally dragging Jungkook outside his art room. 

On the way, Jungkook hugs his dad from behind who was sitting on the couch — working — before kissing on his cheek as he tells him about going out with Jimin. 

Yoongi immediately turned his attention towards his little prince, patting his cheek and grinning at him. 

"Don't be late, alright? And don't forget to eat your lunch." 

"I'll be home soon anyways. Jimin is just forcing me to go out with him," Jungkook giggled out when Jimin began defending himself but his attention shifted from his best friend to his dad who tugged on his wrist.

"Whatever it is, I love you okay? Talk to me if you want." 

For some moments Jungkook forgot about Taehyung as Jimin was with him and he enjoys spending time with him, they have been together since kindergarten and Jungkook grew a fond side for Jimin for the first time when Jimin compliment him about his colour box on the first day of his kindergarten. 

They went shopping, to parlour then to eat somewhere. It was fun, however, it halted when they stopped by Han river to enjoy the sunset and Jungkook's gaze averted away from the beautiful red sun to wander around the couples who were enjoying their evening time with their beloved ones. 

Jungkook wants to take out Taehyung here, in the little paradise. So they could enjoy the sunsets together and try bicycles by the river and kiss in the end and then maybe end up underneath Taehyung. 

Taehyung. 

His heart sank at the sight of him — right in front of him.

"Stop talking, hyung!" 

Jimin looked so confused when Jungkook interrupted him all of a sudden while looking outside at something or someone. He couldn't even move as he had lapful of food. 

"Wassup?" Jimin asked when he saw how Jungkook was struggling to find his phone but as he got no response from his best friend, he looked outside at whatever Jungkook was looking at so carefully. 

"Isn't that Taehyung…. but who is that woman?" 

"I don't know," Jungkook murmured, dialing Taehyung's number. His eyes widened, feeling a lump building in his throat. 

Jimin frowned, he saw how Taehyung fished out his phone and declined Jungkook's call from where they parked his car. However, Jungkook didn't seem to give in that easily and called him again. 

"Hey," 

Jungkook felt his breath hitch when Taehyung picked up his phone in the second try. 

"Hi, Taehyung," He began, gathering himself. "Tae, how about we—"

"Jungkook, I'm exhausted after coming from work, can we talk tomorrow?" 

Jimin's gaze kept flickering from Jungkook who was looking outside to Taehyung. 

"But where are you?"

Taehyung seems to pause. "At home." 

Jimin saw how Jungkook's grip around the steering wheel tightened. He knew what was coming.

"Are you with someone right now?" 

Taehyung felt like he's being watched, his gaze wandered across the sitting area to the parking lot, however he failed to find anyone. "Of course not," He gazed back at Jia who was looking clueless. 

"Why would I be with someone at this time? Shouldn't it…" He wanted to say it out of rage but refrained himself. "Kook," The nickname slipped out of habit. "Can we talk—" 

"I don't want to talk to you anymore, asshole." Jungkook spat out. "You're the biggest asshole I've ever met because you fake it, you faked everything." He ended the call and threw his phone in the backseat before rolling up his car windows. 

"Get off my car." 

"Jungkookie—" 

"I. Said. Get. Off. My. Car." The serene gaze into Jungkook's eyes was the silence before the storm. Jungkook was trying to be as calm as he could while his fingers kept drumming against the steering wheel. 

"Jungkook, you know it's not your fault that he's an asshole—" 

"He was not an asshole!" Jungkook exclaimed. "He wasn't….he wasn't…" Jimin could notice the tiny tears brimming at the corners of Jungkook's eyes. He had never seen Jungkook like that — Jung Jungkook doesn't cry over anyone unless you're worthy of it. 

"He lied to me," Jungkook began. "He's been lying to me… I don't know since when…" He banged his palm against his steering wheel. "He is an asshole for me now and he will pay for it." 

"I want to be alone right now." 

Jungkook has anger issues.

Severe one. 

However, he doesn't get angry that easily as he knows it's better not to care about worthless things. The problem begins when anger pumps through his bloodstream and reaches his brain, his anger becomes uncontrollable — the only way to get control of his anger is to get him the thing he wants or destroy whatever the cause was. If he couldn't have it then no one else shouldn't have it as well. 

Jungkook doesn't know how to control his anger. Everyone, who has known him since his childhood, fears it. 

"Dad!!" He called his dad as soon as he stopped at the red light. 

"Jungkookie? What happened, bubba?" 

"Dad, what should I do when the least expected person lies to you?" 

Yoongi paused. "Baby, are you driving right now?" He spared a glance on his wrist watch as he was on the way to an important meeting with two assistants standing behind him, however, nothing was more important than his son. 

"Did you hear what I asked you!?" Yoongi's dad sense was tingling and it was not sounding any good. 

"Daddy, I'm not weak…m'not.." Jungkook sniffles, watching the red light turn into a yellow light. "Then why am I feeling so helpless?" 

"You aren't helpless, baby. We got you, your fathers got you okay? Now can you tell me if you can drive or you want me to pick you?" 

As soon as the traffic lights turned green, he could hear those honking sounds from behind his car. 

"You aren't understanding, dad." He continued, ignoring whatever his dad said. He failed to recognize the building up emotions after seeing Taehyung with someone, moreover the elder one lied to him right in front of him. All of the concluded mixed emotions turned into flaming rage in him. 

"I'm supposed to hate him but I don't want to hate him, I want him… only him for myself.." 

Jungkook speeds his car before the traffic light turns red again. "He's supposed to be with me." He still was processing how Taehyung lied to him, he wanted to go there but felt his feet glued to his car surface. He was hurt by how simply Taehyung could lie. 

"Baby, try to calm down—"

"No, I won't!" Jungkook snapped without realising. "Dad, I didn't like… when he lied…" He stammered, inarticulate to form sentences. 

"I understand, baby. Drive carefully, okay? Me and your papa are waiting for you at home, okay?—" The call was disconnected, erupting a few swears from Yoongi, dialing his husband's number right after the moment without any time. 

"Hoseok, get home now." 

The screeching of tires echoed throughout  the Jung premises before Jungkook stepped out of his car, not even bothering to close the car door behind him. 

"Dad!!" Jungkook shouted, stomping inside. "Where's dad!?" He asked one of their caretakers, making them flinch when he knocked off the proffered juice glass on the floor, causing the glass shatter on the floor along with the juice. 

"Young master, they haven't arrived yet." One of the caretakers answered. 

Jungkook didn't waste any time and went upstairs to his room. He threw everything on the floor which he found useless at the moment until he found what he was searching for. 

"Why can't I hate you?" He sauntered towards the portrait of Taehyung that he had been working on. He looked down at the resin purple rose on his palm which was given by Taehyung. 

His anger suddenly turns into big fat tears streaming down his cheeks. He wanted to tear off the portrait of Taehyung but he was too fragile to do so.

"That wasn't you, right? I thought Taehyung and mean don't go along with each other but you're so mean…" He dropped the resin purple rose, finding himself hard to stand. He clasped his hand over mouth as his lips trembled. 

"Why…" He hiccups. "did you.." hiccups. "make me so upset?" he hiccups. 

Soon, his bedroom filled with harsh knocks against his door, his fathers has arrived as he assumes. While he pulled his knees to his chest, sobbing to himself and sitting on the mess that he had done. Jack was sitting on his tail and staring at him. 

"I won't find 'why' but 'since when'..." 

Either he would be with Taehyung or ruin him. There's nothing in between, he was certain about it. 

As soon as Hoseok and Yoongi unlocked Jungkook's room door, they felt their hearts sinking at the hazardous sight of Jungkook's bedroom where things were scattered all over the place. However, it breaks their heart when they find Jungkook curling into a ball and sniffling to himself. 

Yoongi carefully walked to Jungkook as the pieces of ceramic jars and glasses were surrounded around Jungkook. 

"Jungkookie…"

"Dad, Taehyung is mine right?" Jungkook articulates it in between his hiccups. Yoongi's eyes remain wide as he crouches down to hug Jungkook, immediately rubbing his palm against Jungkook's back. 

"Taehyung..." Jungkook murmured, hiding his face in the croak of Yoongi's neck whose eyes wander on the unfinished portrait of someone he seems to know but couldn't recognize at the right moment. 

"Him only…" 

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and at this point i wanna ask why are you even reading this book? 😭