[The episode opens up to four monitors; the first one showing Blitzo and Moxxie outside Martha's house, Moxxie then pushes Blitzo's gun causing him to shoot in the wrong direction in "What A Family". Another showing Millie coming out of the ocean after killing the fish monster in "Spring Broken", another's showing Millie and Moxxie french-kissing while swinging on a rope in "C.H.E.R.U.B", and on the fourth monitor is a shot of horses, which then zooms past them onto Blitzo, who's making a goofy face. Someone then points at Blitzo.]

Agent One: Right there. This was the first sighting.

Agent Two: We've identified them as former doctor Jonathan Blitzo,

[A prison mugshot of Blitzo with short brown hair as opposed to his current orange horn-shaped hair is pulled up on the monitor. Beside it is Blitzo's Bio, which reads:
John Doe
Occupation: Bounty Hunter
Born: 08-05-1966 (Age: 55)
Based In: Unknown
Height: 5'0
Weight: 196 lb
Aliases: Jonathan Blitzo, Blitzø, Doc, Jonny, JJ
Misc.: Diagnosed (In chronological order of diagnosis) with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Irresistible Impulse, Antisocial Personality Disorder, Anxiety, Clinical Depression(treated), Bipolar Disorder(treated), depersonalisation disorder.

Agent Two: Moxxie Mason and Millie Mason.

[Moxxie and Millie's wedding photo is pulled up, without a bio.]

The Masons were born in the Wasteland, but Blitzo's place of birth is unconfirmed... Hm. Anyway, They must use this dark magic to cross over into the Mainland... and they seem to be kidnapping specifically-targeted people, but why?

Agent One: They always attack at random, all over the country. There's no way to predict where they'll show up next.

[A loud clattering noise is heard from outside, followed by an angry cat sound. The two agents immediately glance over to a hole in the wall that is covered with small wooden planks, forming a peek hole to the outside. They then see the source of all the racket, Blitzo outside on top of some trash bags and dumpsters looking around.]

Agent Two: Ah well, that's convenient.

Blitzo: Shh! Remember, we can't be seen.

[Blitzo slams the dumpster door loudly, but then falls into a pile of trash bags.]

Moxxie: Pardon my word, sir. But you're currently being the loudest.

Blitzo: I said shush your lips, Moxxie.

[Moxxie steps away from his boss for a short moment as the portal was opened, Moxxie was about to head towards the portal.]

Blitzo: Get down!!

[Blitzo quickly tackles Moxxie to the ground as a net zooms by. Agent Two then reloads her weapon as Blitzo looks behind him and sees Agent One jump down with rope from a building and in front of the portal.]

Blitzo: Loona! Close it!

Millie: Wait! No!

[When Moxxie sees the portal close, he suddenly gets mad and fights off the two agents while Blitzo hides. However, he is hit by a needle and falls to the ground.]

Blitzo: Moxxie!

[With quick thinking, Blitzo grabs Moxxie and runs away. He knocks Agent Two out of the way as he keeps on running.]

Moxxie: I smell... Colors...

[Blitzo reaches a dead end and the agents waste no time in cornering him. Blitzo raises his gun, ready to fight.]

Blitzo: Back off, you tuxedo wearing taunts!

[Blitzo and the Agents both raise their guns. But just as Blitzo is about to fire, Agent Two pushes a button on her gun and Blitzo gets shocked along with Moxxie before going down for the count.]

Agent One: I'd like to see the suits at corporate call us losers now, that was pretty awesome.

Agent Two: Super awesome.

[Soon enough, he passes out. Meanwhile in the I.B.P office, Millie, with tears in her eyes punches the wall multiple times before falling to her knees.]

Millie: No! No, no, no!

[Millie wails with her head and hands on the ground.]

Loona: You uh... You okay there?

Millie: What're you doing sittin' there? The boys are in trouble! Open it again!

Loona: Blitzo was using a total of zero euphemisms, innuendos, or swears. That means it was serious, which means I don't open it until-

Millie: [Millie grabs Loona by her shirt and yanks her down to face level] OPEN THE FU-

[A sequence happens, Loona zips a bag labeled "Blitzø's Emergen-C Bag", an angry Millie twirls and lifts a giant double sided battle axe with the 'B' in the I.B.P on the side, and Loona quickly transforms to her Mainland suit with an owl in the background. The portal opens again, and Millie flips and lands in a pose while Loona walks through the portal.]

Millie: They aren't here...

[Millie lets go of the axe and falls to her knees again, beginning to cry. But stops immediately as Loona lifts her up to bend down and sniff the ground to track where Blitzo and Moxxie went.]

Loona: It smells like they went this way. Come on, let's find the idiot twins.

[Millie slips into the backpack and Loona picks up the axe and starts running towards the screen. Meanwhile, Moxxie starts waking up and starts looking around, the camera zooms out revealing that he and Blitzo are tied up. Moxxie panics and struggles to get out, while Agent Two grabs the light and pans it close to Moxxie's face.]

Agent Two: Finally awake, huh, doc. Mr Mason has been a while now.

Blitzo: Look, bag, it takes a lot to keep me down, alright? I took a ton of tranquilizers in the college I dropped out of. Also, I've been strapped nostrel first to a car battery, so I- oh, okay.

[Agent One pans the light close to Blitzo's face.]

Agent One: Tell us, wastelander scum. Who do you work for? Andromeda?

[Agent Two grabs the light again and passes it to Agent One each question.]

Agent Two: How did you get past the wall?

Agent One: Why are youse kidnapping people?

Agent Two: When did you show up here?

[The two agents stops passing the lights.]

Blitzo: Okay, I'm gonna stop you right there. First of all, we just woke up from a very nasty shock and I'm still feelin' woozy, so I'm gonna request you fetch us some coffee before we get into this. I mean, everyone gets coffees in abysmal movies with scenes like this, am I right? I want something iced. Mox?

[Blitzo turns his head around to Moxxie.]

Moxxie: I'll have a Neopolitan cappuccino, more cappu than cino, make sure it's got no more than four ounces of milk, the beans won't have the right texture otherwise, and make sure they spell my name correctly on the cup they always put "Foxy" or "Roxy", I hate that. If you can't handle that, I'll have a Venti traditional Misto. Please use soy milk with two blond shots Affogato and Ristretto. I'd also love three vanilla pumps at the very bottom. Then, add the coffee after, then-

Agent One: Enough! We aren't getting youse coffee!

Blitzo: Wow, I was getting massive karen chills just there, Mox. Congrats!

Agent Two: If we have to, we are willing to resort to torture methods to get answers out of you nasty criminals!

Moxxie: When you say "tortured", do you mean physical or psychological? Physical seems counterproductive; we would likely tell you anything if it meant an end to the pain, and you have no way of knowing what was true.

Blitzo: Or we might like it too much. And then you got a whole new thing to deal with.

Agent One: What do you mean by that?

Blitzo: Oh, you're stupid, huh? I can work with stupid. Jonny Likey Dummy!

[Moxxie squirms in his chair trying to hold back his laughter but laughs anyway.]

Moxxie: Good one sir, Jonny likey-

Agent Two: You better stop laughin' at us.

[Agent One grabs Blitzo's collar and screams at the man's face.]

Agent One: Yeah! You're the ones at our mercy!

Moxxie: It's hard to resist, I'm really sorry. I mean, considering your approach thus far, you've had us tied up here for what, hours? And you haven't even had us confirm what exactly we are!

Agent Two: [leans down curious] What are you?

Moxxie: I'm a Virgo.

[Blitzo bursts out laughing.]

Agent One: Oh, a smart guy eh?

Agent Two: One more quip out of you and we'll shut you up!

Blitzo: Ohh, getting freaky!

[Both agents recoil in shock and horror.]

Agent One: WHAT?!? We ain't playing any of your vile Wasteland games!

Blitzo: I mean, that's what it sounds like back there. You sickos.

Moxxie: [sarcastically] PLEASE, don't give them ideas sir.

Blitzo: Why not? I know what you're into- [Moxxie gets an embarrassed look]

Agent One: STAAHP! We are NOT getting freaky wit youse!

Agent Two: Calm down, One! Don't let these criminals get to you!

Blitzo: [sees them walking away] Hey, aren't we going to get a phone call?

Agent One: Well, that entirely depends: Who you going to call, hmm?

Blitzo: Your fat mom, thanking her for a fat time!

Agent Two: Nice try, John Doe! His fat mom is DEAD! [One starts crying into his own arm]

[The episode cuts to the exterior of the building Blitzo and Moxxie are trapped inside of. Two armed guard droids stand outside the entrance. Millie and Loona are hiding at the side of the building trying to sneak in.]

Millie: This where they ended up?

Loona: I think so. Holy h, this looks intense. How are we gonna get in?

Millie: Lift me up to that vent! [Millie pints to a small vent above their heads]

[Loona raises her hand and Millie climbs up, opens the vent and crawls into the building. She unlocks the side door from the inside and lets Loona in. They sneak through the halls trying to find Moxxie and Blitzo, when an unnamed D.H.O.R.K.S. guard sees them on the surveillance camera, does a spit take with his coffee upon another guard and sounds an alarm to alert the other guards of the trespassers.]

[Loona screeches to a halt. The camera zooms out, revealing a bunch of android agents holding several Japanese melee weapons. A droid holding a naginata runs toward Loona and Millie and swings it at them. The girls duck, avoiding the blade. Loona jumps, swings the axe, chopping off an droid's leg while Millie shoots him twice with twin pistols. Loona throws the axe at another droid's face where it sticks. Millie climbs the droid's body and removes the ax from his head, jumps to avoid yet another guard's katana swing, then chops the katana-wielding droid in two vertically.]

[Loona runs into adroid with twin nunchaku and attempts to split kick him, but he avoids it. She then rolls back and jumps to avoid his strikes. A droid swings his kusarigama at Loona but Loona ducks low to the ground, allowing the nunchaku guy to be decapitated instead. Millie sneaks up to the now surprised kusarigama-wielding droid and snaps his neck, and as he falls to the floor face first Loona grabs Millie who then grabs the axe from the floor, running towards another set of three droids inside a large doorway.]

[Cuts to said droids. One droid hits a button attempting to stop the girls by closing the blast door on them. The other two reveal their shuriken and proceed to throw them at the girls, though they miss entirely.]

Millie: Throw me!

Loona: [Grunts]

[She throws Millie into a group as a door closes behind her labeled CAUTION BLAST DANGER. Screaming sound effects. The door lifts to show Millie surrounded by the remains of several android agents, now reduced to scrap.]

Loona: Dang, you're pretty agile for an old lady.

Millie: I'm, like, 5 years older than you!

[Episode cuts back to Blitzo and Moxxie, Blitzo is making a blep face at Agent One.]

Agent One: Stop insultin' my mother, she's dead!

Agent Two: Hey, hey, let's just leave them here until they feel like talking.

[The two agents exit the room, slamming the door behind them. Blitzo immediately tries to get out of his bonds but can't.]

Blitzo: [sighs] Don't worry Mox, if we keep being obnoxious, they'll eventually slip up and we'll get a chance to get out. Let's just keep messing with them until they get so frustrated they stop thinking clearly. It usually works.

[as Blitzo speaks it zooms out until it is coming through a recording as Agents One and Two watch on the screen.]

Agent One: Hmm, so Mr Doe wanna play games, huh? Well, we can play games! [laughs]

[Agent Two hits a button between "Haha Gas" and "B. Juice" as she lifts her fist the button is glowing a bright green and labeled "Truth Bomb". Agent Two joins in the laughter.]

Agent Two: Yeah.

[Scene switches back to Moxxie and Blitzo. Blitzo is still struggling against his ropes trying to get out.]

Moxxie: I'm just worried about Millie; she'll be on her way by now, I'm sure.

Blitzo: Ugh, she'll be fine, Moxxie. It would take a roided-up hippo to take down that woman when she's upset.

Moxxie: We've never dealt with the human government before! She's in danger!

[As he speaks green gas begins filling the room]

Blitzo: Do you ever honestly shut up about Millie? It's always "oh, how's Millie?", "I can't tonight, I'm hanging with Millie." "I'm so worried about Millie." And she's always five burning feet away from you, it's pathetic!

Moxxie: That was oddly personal.

Blitzo: You know what, you're right. I don't know why I let my guts spill like that.

[Moxxie now notices the green gas surrounding the two of them.]

Moxxie: Sir! They're filling this room with something!

Blitzo: What! The world is this?

Moxxie: I think it's some kind of airborne truth telling serum.

Blitzo: Oh you just guess that's what it is?

Moxxie: Well, uh, just ask me something specific I wouldn't normally tell you.

Blitzo: Okay uh, does Millie ever feed you grapes?

Moxxie: Sometimes. Wait, ew! Why that?

Blitzo: Heh, I knew it.

Moxxie: Well your suit is tacky! I'm sorry.

Blitzo: [gasps] How dare you! You have horrible taste in music! I'm sorry!

Moxxie: Horrible taste? You said you liked that musical I recommended to you!

Blitzo: I lied, I left half way through!

Moxxie: You- you said you loved it!

Blitzo: [In tears] It was awful Moxxie, it was about ugly, flirty cats!

[Moxxie starts crying hysterically. Once again the scene zooms out into them being watched by One and Two again.]

Blitzo: Oh, God, Moxxie, I've said so many lies to you!

Agent Two: This is gonna be a good night!

[View switches to a vent pumping more gas into the room. Blitzo coughs and we switch to a POV shot we watch as the room wriggles and distorts. He shakes his head and turns back to face Moxxie.]

Blitzo: Dammit, Moxxie, this is all your fault!

Moxxie: How is this my fault?

[A musical trill. The sound of wind. The ropes fall away from Moxxie and he walks forwards into purple fog. As he walks into the fog the art style begins to subtly shift into something more Disney-esque. Organ music begins to play.]

Moxxie: Blitzo? [coughs] I- I can't see you. Man this smells awful! What's that music? Is that you? Is this a prank, because I swear to Saint-

[he talks directly to the camera as he talks to the camera we see a figure above and behind him. The two are facing away from each other. The other figure is Blitzo dressed like the title character from Phantom of the Opera]

Blitzo: [speaking in a slightly deeper octave than we normally hear him in] It is no prank, Moxxipherous!

Moxxie: Not even almost my name- Why do you sound like that?

Blitzo (hallucination): Because you, Moxxipherous Rex The Third Esquire-

Moxxie: You know that's wrong.

Blitzo (hallucination): -are tripping balls!

[The shiny organ pipes act as a spotlight and points to Moxxie as he begins to sing]

Moxxie: ♫ No, what? How could this be? I've never tried acid, shrooms, or DMT! It's a bad trip! Oy Gevault! Of course, Blitzo, this would be your fault! [A close up on Blitzo's gloved fingers as he plays the organ. The camera goes back to Moxxie] My lungs are full of honesty, would you promise me that you won't judge? ♫

Blitzo (hallucination): ♫ I won't! ♫ [he dramatically plays the organ.]

Moxxie: ♫ Not trying to divulge too much, but I'm in too deep so first of all: BLEEP YOU! ♫

Blitzo (hallucination): ♫ What? ♫

Moxxie: ♫ This is all just typical well two can play at this game of dismay 'cause if you're here causing frustration, I'm torturing you in your hallucination! ♫

[the scene switches we are now inside Blitzo's Hallucination - the style has shifted to be more early animation style, presumably rubber hose. The symbol on his his forehead isn't the one normally there but is instead a broken heart. He is wearing a clown outfit. Intense rock music, 3 swirls of sludge in pink, black and brownish-red float around him. The red sludge screams and covers Blitzo in slime. He focuses on his hands covered in the red sludge. He sniffs and licks it. The red sludge comes up behind him screaming and frightening him. Blitzo stumbles and falls down. The sludge turns into doodle Moxxie a la the Spring Broken plan segment.]

Moxxie (doodle): I simply follow your orders, it isn't my fault if your orders are as nonsensical as a sun tanning bed left out on the cold rainy porch of a fresh April shower.

Blitzo: Why are you talking like that? What the does that even mean?

Moxxie (doodle): I am simply speaking plain English - perhaps you should crack open a dictionary some time? And then maybe you can understand half of the frivolous things I carry on and on about on my many rants about [the music gets louder drowning out Doodle Moxxie's words. As he is speaking he flickers back and forth between standard Moxxie and doodle Moxxie. The camera zooms out to Blitzo looking up at the 3 sludges circle around them.]

Blitzo: Shut up!

[We switch back to Moxxie's Hallucination]

Moxxie: ♫ Why do you hurt me so? ♫

Blitzo (hallucination): ♫ I know! ♫

Moxxie: ♫ Why must you push your friends away? ♫

Blitzo (hallucination): [harmonizes] ♫ I push my friends away ♫

Moxxie: ♫ Why does it seem like a recurring theme that you alienate with your toxic routine? ♫

Blitzo (hallucination): ♫ I don't know eventually everyone goes! ♫

Moxxie: ♫ Cause you're thoughtless, and cruel and you'll end up alone! ♫

[The camera focuses in on the hallucination of Blitzo's mask covered eye - he looks shookth. We switch back to Blitzo's hallucination.]

Moxxie (doodle): Admit it, my dear boss. You don't know what you are doing half the time, and you depend on me and the missus to manage your foolish flights of fancy.

Blitzo: I don't need you, I can bounty hunt on my own so easily!

[The brown ludge grabs him and throws him on the ground it forms a new person in Blitzo's hallucination: Stiker, who speaks with Blizo's voice.]

Striker (hallucination): But you don't want to do things alone, Blitzo!

[The gray sludge grabs Blitzo and tosses him up, then morphs into rubber hose version of Fizzarolli, who also has his voice.]]

(hallucination): You tried the solo act, and it didn't work out so well! [laughs like a distorted robot]

[Hallucination Fizz winds him up and throws him to the ground. Hallucination Verosika, emerging from being covered in pink sludge and with Blitzo's voice as well, crawls towards him]

Verosika (hallucination): Yet you still shove away anyone who gets too close until they resent you for being selfish selfish selfish . [her voice is highly warped and distorted. Blitzo gets up and runs away up a staircase that appears covered in black gloop.]

[Blitzo turns around to see the mud turning into pristine white stairs with golden railings. There are falling shiny feathers that are cleaning the mud. Blitzo trips and looks up where is sitting on a throne at the top the stairs, getting fanned by Blitzo's silhouette.]

Stolas (hallucination): [voice-over] Are you afraid to love people, Blitzy?

[The fans flapped and the camera zoom in to Stolas who grins at Blitzo. Blitzo climbs the stairs on his knees. Golden feathers on his wrists turns into golden shackles and his clown costume turns into his suit.]

Moxxie (hallucination): I believe your subconscious is trying to tell you that you simply cannot fathom proper intimacy, but also crave it as well. It's rather unfortunate sir, considering it's often how you treat those who stand by you such as myself.

[As hallucination doodle Moxxie is talking, Blitzo is almost to the top, a golden shackle wraps around his neck attached golden chains. Stolas pulls the chains closer to him and grins mischievously. The three previous hallucinations is shown again all turn into sludge again and doodle Moxxie turns into his normal style but wears a purple dress]

Moxxie (hallucination): Are you worried, I may have enough of it one day as well?

Blitzo: Stop...talking, all of you!

[The hallucination of Moxxie dissolves into gold and fades away. The scene switches back to reality. Blitzo and Moxxie are still tied up and are drooling. Agents One and Two are watching. Agent One is drinking a soda, Agent Two is munching on popcorn. We switch back to Blitzo's Hallucination; Stolas turns into gold and fades away.]

Stolas: You are going to die alone.

[All of the sludges swirl together. Blitzo is surrounded by a tornado of feathers they surround him sticking to him. The hallucinations keep repeating the phrase "You're gonna die alone!". All that is left is his mouth and he screams. Cuts to Moxie's hallucination.]

Blitzo (hallucination): ♫ Why, Moxxie, why have you held your true feelings inside? ♫

Moxxie: ♫ I am scared of rejection. ♫

Blitzo (hallucination): ♫ Why, Moxxie, why do you have Millie put grapes in your mouth? ♫

Moxxie: ♫ It gives me an e- ♫ Hey!

Blitzo (hallucination): ♫ No need to hide, we accept your true feelings, so promise me - ♫

Moxxie: ♫ That I can do. ♫

Both: [harmonizing] ♫ To be true. ♫

Blitzo (hallucination): ♫ The world is your kingdom, so rule it with honesty. ♫

Moxxie: Oh...!

Blitzo (hallucination): ♫ I've been a jerk, this is true. ♫

Moxxie: ♫ You've been a jerk, that is true. ♫

Blitzo (hallucination): ♫ But soon as we're back as ourselves. ♫

Both: [harmonizing] ♫ I will be a better friend than I was before. ♫

Moxxie: ♫ Be better at speaking my mind~ and... ♫

Both: [harmonizing] ♫ Together we can begin to become... fine~. ♫

[We are finally done with the two hallucination scenes. It switches back to Millie and Loona. They come up to a three-by-four 12-digit keypad, the number 1 is the only number that shows any wear, while other numbers are untouched.]

Millie: Try 1.

[Loona presses 1 five times. The door opens and they walk through. It switches back to the screen watching Blitzo and Moxxie wake up from their respective hallucination trips now that the truth gas had run out.]

Moxxie: Do you remember what you said to me after my first day with the company?

Blitzo: Not really.

Moxxie: I remember. You told me I did a good job and that you were proud to work with me. I feel like you wanted to say something more judgmental, but you said that because I needed it. And it helped.

Blitzo: Look, I'm hard on you, because I know what you're capable of, Mox. You care too much about what everyone thinks except for me because, you know, my opinion is correct, but just keep doing a good job, 'kay? You shoot and fight good, you escape things easy, you can be strategic and cold-blooded when you need to, and don't expect any more compliments, I'm maxed out.

Moxxie: Thank you,..Blitzo.

Blitzo: You know what I am, call me it.

Moxxie: Thanks, dad.

(AN: really not sure about keeping this twist in. Comment whether you think I should, even if you don't regularly comment on stuff.)

[A rumbling sound is heard as Blitzo and Moxxie look up. Millie crashes through the ceiling]

Moxxie: There's my Millie!

Blitzo: Impressive work, Mills! How did you get here all by yourself?

[Loona uses Agent Two to break through the mirror-like window]

Blitzo: Loony!?

Loona: Get your butts out here before more suits show up!

[she throws Agent Two at Agent One as she turns she begins to transform back into her normal form. A wolf howl sound effect plays as she jumps down. Blitzo and Moxxie pull out guns and cock them. Agent One presses a button and alarm noises begin playing. A bunch of disposable mooks appear holding weapons.]

Blitzo: Okay, I've had one too many emotions for today. And frankly I've been stuck using tranquilizer darts and Ich Luge bullets for far too long now! Guys, let's get LETHAL ON THESE BOLTBUCKETS!

[Moxxie give an evil, toothy smile and nods. A fluid fight scene starts as one droid attempts to strike Blitzo with the sickle end of his kusarigama, only for Loona to catch it in her mouth and yank hard, throwing the wielder across the room to hit adroid with a katana. A droid attempts multiple strikes at Loona with its naginata, but Loona deftly dodges and, with the kusarigama sickle still in her mouth, stabs the droid through the throat. She releases the kusarigama and grabs the chain in her hands while running, wrapping it around another droid's neck and yanking hard enough to decapitate both it and the droid with the sickle end in its throat, sending both their heads flying.]

[As the two droids' severed and sparkingheads fly, Millie jumps and twirls in the air with her axe and goes for a droid wielding a katana. It tries to block but is unsuccessful as the axe easily breaks through its sword and he is cleaved in half, splattering electricity, oil and wires around her. Millie sees a droid with a two-handed sword running toward her, so she runs up to and dismembers it in two quick swings. She uses her axe to deflect incoming shuriken and swings at their thrower, but it backflips away as another droid with a sword runs at her. She jumps and flips in the air and lands with a pose, then briefly clashes with the sword-wielding droid before taking off its entire lower half. The shuriken thrower makes a second attempt, but is easily cut down. Millie then happily runs off while spinning her axe as the droid she dismembered earlier is seen helplessly flailing his bleeding stumps.]

[Cuts to a dolly arc shot of Moxxie and Blitzo firing on a multitude of droids coming their way. Blitzo discards his flintlock pistol and reaches for the backpack.]

Blitzo: Mox, cover me!

Moxxie: Yes, sir!

[Moxxie unloads his submachine guns in a wide arc, before disposing them as Blitzo hands him two golden revolvers that he uses to great effect. Blitzo, meanwhile, pulls out a vicious-looking knife and runs off, stabbing one droid while decapitating another.]

Blitzo: EAT! MY! REFERENCE!

[Blitzo pulls out his phone and takes a selfie with the droid's severed and sparking head before throwing the head to the ground. Moxxie fires his revolvers until they're spent, then he viciously beats one droid to death with the butt of one before discarding them. Blitzo picks up a demonic pump-action shotgun, fires off a shot, then hands it to Moxxie, who blasts two more droids with it. Blitzo shoulders the backpack so it sits on his chest. He and Moxxie turn to each other and nod before running in opposite directions, Moxxie making a demonic hiss as he does.]

[Quick pan over to Loona as Blitzo joins her. He goes back-to-back with her and shoots a droid with a crossbow. One droid swings at Loona with a sword but she counters with a roundhouse kick to the face. As Blitzo jumps away, Loona turns and delivers a powerful uppercut to the jaw of another sword-wielding droid, sending him into the air. A droid with twin sai comes at her and she crouches down before leaping towards him, biting down so its entire forehead is in her mouth. She briefly shakes it back and forth before throwing it and grabbing another droid by the face, slamming it to the floor. Blitzo hands her an energy rifle of some sort, which she fires at a few droids]

Loona: Die, motherheckers! [briefly looks at Blitzo] What?

Blitzo: I am just so dang proud of you, Loonie! [kisses her cheek] Bye sweetie!

[Blitzo skitters away from Loona, who growls angrily at his affection. She then bites down on another droid's head and throws him.]

[Quick pan back to Blitzo. A droid carrying nunchaku runs at him but is blindsided and knocked away by the droid Loona just threw.]

Loona: *to Blitzo, off-screen* Watch out!

[Blitzo turns to see Millie cut down two more droids with her axe and twirl it with a flourish.]

Blitzo: Hey Mills!

Millie: Hiya Blitz! Just one sec!

[Millie jumps and swings, decapitating one droid. She cuts a leg off of a droid holding sai, relieves another sai-wielding droid of his lower torso, then twirls her axe to completely eviscerate a droid holding a straight sword, and poses. Blitzo appears to the side with the backpack still strapped to his chest and offers Millie a pump-action shotgun.]

Blitzo: Do you need a gun or anything?

Millie: Nah, I'm good!

[Millie spins to the side, taking off the lower legs of a droid with kusarigama then eviscerating her. She swings her axe as leverage for a leap onto another droid, wrapping her legs around its neck and decapitating at least two more droids with the axe. Millie severs the leg of the droid she's held onto, who then collapses before Millie begins strangling it with her thighs. Blitzo appears to the side again, this time offering a bottle of water.]

Blitzo: How about some water?

Millie: Sure!

[he squirts a bottle of water in her mouth]

Millie: Ahhh. *snaps the droid's neck* Thanks, Blitz!

Blitzo: No problemy, Millie-Billie.

[As Millie runs off to disassemble even more droids, Blitzo pulls out a submachine gun and a shotgun. Cuts to a close-up of him with a sadistic smile and lightly glowing eyes.]

Blitzo: Now who wants some quality time with Johnny?

[The camera zooms out to reveal more droid agents ready to kill. Blitzo spins his guns, runs at a droid with sai and leaps on it, firing at five droids with his shotgun before blasting the one he's grabbed onto. He leaps off and frontflips, killing two droids with the submachine gun. Once he lands, he pulls a spiked baseball bat out of the backpack strapped to his chest, trips a droid with it, then beats the droid in the stomach with it. He pulls a grenade out of the backpack and uses the bat to hit it away into a group of hapless agents.]

Blitzo: Fore!

[The grenade explodes. Cuts to Agents One and Two attempting to flee the building. Blitzo's grenade explodes, and they duck and cover their heads in fear. They then see the corpse of a droid hit the floor, its own katana falling down and impaling it in the chest.]

Agent One: Why, God, WHY are we only using weapons from Japan's Edo period!?

Agent Two: Hey! The Edo period was awesome and you know it!

Agent One: You're right.

Agent Two: Look out!

[Agent Two pulls Agent One down to the floor down with her as Loona turns around firing her energy rifle at more droids. She fires at droids offscreen as Agents One and Two pull themselves along the floor towards the exit. They are stopped by a droidt's freshly severed head landing in front of them, courtesy of Millie. A droid with twin nunchaku runs at her only for limbs and oil to spatter, one nunchaku-wielding arm comically flying up to the ceiling like a helicopter before falling to the floor. The agents turn and pull themselves another way as Loona shakes a droid back and forth.]

[Cuts to Moxxie standing on a pile of scrap, blasting droid after droid with his shotgun and screaming bloody murder. He flips one droid into the air with his leg, causing him to spin, then he blasts it away. More droids run at him, only for Moxxie to flll them with buckshot.]

Moxxie: Fodder!!!

Blitzo: Hey Moxxie? [Moxxie drops the shotgun that he's holding and it accidentally goes off] Oh wow, really going for the crotch there, ain't'cha? Here, I got it for ya. Now hold this.

[Blitzo puts a backpack in Moxxie's arm and pulls out a giant rocket launcher labeled 'My Ego'.]

Blitzo: Oh yeah, I'm goin' BIG TIME right about now!

[He fires a rocket labeled 'Argument Winner' and gives an evil laugh. The rocket flies toward a group of droids on the other side of the broken window and explodes, causing both Millie and Loona to flinch away from the flames. Millie's axe is also blown out of her hands by the blast. Moxxie then comes into view.]

Moxxie: Oh crumbs, is everyone okay?

[Blitzo jumps on him]

Blitzo: Wooooooo! How's that for wastelander scum?

[Agents One and Two are hiding under a desk. She nods at him, he hits a red button labeled 'red button'. Alarms go off and the entire screen turns tinted red.]

Blitzo: C'mon fam, lets blow this popsicle joint!

[Before they can leave, the doors close in front of them. A set of iron bars lowers in front of the doors, then a garage door closes further down, then a large steel door clamps down, lasers activate outside of it, and bathroom doors close outside of that, the vacancy indicator switching to "Occupied".]

Moxxie: Quick! The book!

[Loona pulls it out of the back pack and attempts to read it.]

Loona: Shit! I can't - I can't read the spell in this light. I can't see squat!

[Blitzo searches himself for more weapons, but comes out empty-handed.]

Blitzo: Well, looks like we've milked this weapon cow dry and now we're out of 'dassery.

Agent Two: Ha! You demons aren't goin' anywhere now. AH!

[Before the two agents can do anything, they begin noticing strange happenings around them. The I.B.P. gang's shadows growl and meld into a hideous beast. A screen suddenly turns on and flickers, rattling around aggressively before turning off, then showing the agents' reflections and the four-eyed silhouette of a certain someone who wasn't there before. The agents are startled as the screen breaks off of the wall, falls at their feet and slides away. Two more screens then break off of the wall while the rest shudder and display static.]

Stolas: [from the shadows] Who DARES threaten my impish little plaything?

Agent One: Who said that?

[The agents look at the floor, where bird-like footprints appear coming towards them. Another monitor bashes Agent One in the face, removing his shades and knocking him to the floor. He turns to look at Agent Two]

Agent One: Agent Two?

[Cuts to Agent Two. Her head is spasming, her red eyes wide and mouth slack in shock and horror. Around her, several of the mostly still intact remains of the droids stand up, eyes completely black and empty. Agent Two tries to stop her head spasming with her hands but fails. The black-eyed bodies kneel. Agent One stands back up, his shades returned to his face, and attempts to approach Agent Two. She removes her own shades and her head twists around "The Exorcist" style to look at Agent One. She now has sharp teeth, bloodshot eyes, and her mascara has formed sharp streaks down her cheeks.]

Agent Two and Stolas: [at the same time?] What's the matter, wastrel hunter? Never seen a DEMON before?

[The dead bodies draw Stolas' summoning circle around Agent Two in their own blood, which is now dripping from their eyes and mouths. She chuckles maliciously, eye twitching and nose bleeding. Agent One looks on in terror as Agent Two's head whips back to its normal orientation. Her eyes have rolled back. She throws her head back and vomits shadowy sludge and feathers. Demented laughter can be heard in a variety of voices. Agent Two and the I.B.P. gang watch--Loona snapping a photo--as the shadows coalesce into a demonic, shadowy owl monster. The shadow beast approaches the two agents, screaming and roaring at them as they huddle together out of sheer horror. The demon beast's essence pulls back and turns into Stolas, looking at the agents with disdain. He turns away from them and clicks a button, shutting off the alarm and the red light as well. The series of doors is heard opening off-screen. Stolas walks up to the gathered I.B.P. group., stopping in front of Blitzo.]

Blitzo: Stolas? Wha- hold on - How did you know that we needed help?

Stolas: I have my ways, darling. Are you alright?

[He leans forward, gazing into Blitzo's eyes as he places a hand on his cheek. Blitzo rolls his eyes.]

Blitzo: Ugh, I'm fine, Stolas.

Stolas: *softly* Mm. Good. *caresses Blitzo's head*

[Stolas grabs Blitzo's cheek roughly and adopts a sharper tone.]

Stolas: How the FUCK... did you get caught by humans?! Are you little creatures not being careful up here?! You know, if you *boops Blitzo's nose* get in trouble, I get in trouble! WE... *grabs Blitzo's cheek* don't want that!

[He grab's Blitzo's other cheek to squeeze at.]

[Moxxie pulls Stolas's hand away]

Moxxie: They caught us off guard, your highness.

Blitzo: Yeah, you can unclench your quads, Stolas. It's not gonna happen again, okay?

Stolas: Luckily for you... most don't care about the word of people who, in their eyes, waste their time and multimillion-dollar resources-

[The camera pans and cuts to Agents One and Two holding each other, shaking in fear.]

Stolas: (off-screen) -to chase and track insignificant nuisances. They are seen as kooks!

[Cuts back to Stolas giggling and looking rather pleased with himself.]

Stolas: Kooks! Such a silly word! *claps his hands together* Now! Let us all return!

[Stolas opens a portal back to the I.B.P. office.]

Moxxie: Yes please. I'd like to get back to the correct abysmal cespit as soon as possible.

[Moxxie hops through and helps Millie through, Loona walks through next looking at Stolas' grimoire. Stolas picks up Blitzo in a bridal carry.]

Stolas: Am I going to get any thank you for the rescue, Blitzy?

Blitzo: Well, I suppose you should. Wanna go see a musical tonight?

Stolas: Very much so. [He leans in for a kiss. Blitzo grabs his mouth and pushes him back. Stolas blushes.]

Blitzo: Alright, but you're keeping quiet or we're gettin' nosebleed seats.

[Blitzo runs a finger down Stolas's face as Stolas shudders with obvious pleasure. Stolas moans.]

Stolas: Oh, please let's~

[The two of them partake in a kiss. The portal closes behind them. Agents One and Two watch as they leave.]

Agent Two: So what now?

Agent One: What now? We finally got the evidence we needed to be taken seriously! When the land wars break out, it's gonna be the best we-told-you-so of all time!

[Agent One walks over to a computer, pushing some rubble away before typing on the keyboard. Four monitors go from static to showing security camera footage of the events of the last few minutes. The first three monitors show footage of the I.B.P. crew slaughtering droid agents while the fourth shows Stolas rearing over the cowering Agents One and Two in his demonic beast form before transforming into his normal form. Notably, all three of the monitors showing the I.B.P. crew are green while the footage of Stolas is red with a cracked camera lens. Agent Two walks up and the two agents put their shades back on, smiling confidently.]

Agent One: Nobody in corporate is ignoring this. [Agent One chuckles]

[The four screens go back to static one at a time, starting with the footage of Loona, followed by Millie, then Blitzo and Moxxie, and finally Stolas, who could be seen staring into the camera.]