I was America and Haylie was England and this happened

England: You're my son

Me: Who's the father?!

England: France

Me: OH MY GOD DID HE FUCK YOU IN THE EYEBROWS

England: No but he fucked Canada

Me: But Canada's also his son

England: How do you think Canada was conquered

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Me: France is like a tampon. He's always up in that........ You know what, I'm not gonna finish that sentence

England: How do you even know what a tampon is, America?!