Author's note~ sorry this chapter will probably go up late since wattpad is fighting me again not letting me post it. I hope that when it does go up that you all enjoy it~ Lawliet TJ

"How did he do that?" Grisha asked that's when he realized that Levi didn't even realize he had said the last part.

"Oh," Levi whispered to himself realizing what he had said. "Well," he sighed realizing now he'd have to explain himself. He had never told this to anyone, not even to Eren. "The night that he talked about when I found out about his self-harm and his depression was the night I had planned to kill myself," Levi mumbled.

"What changed your mind?" Grisha asked sitting up a little not realizing that Levi had also dealt with some of the same issues as Eren.

"Eren did," Levi shrugged. "That day I was planning on heading straight home from work, but when Eren asked if I was staying after school like I normally did I couldn't bring myself to say no," Levi bit his lip a little. "Then I found out he was going to walk home and I offered to drop him off since there was no harm in helping him get home," Levi said, "but then I saw those marks on his arm and knew that I had to do something to help," He sighed. "I took him to lunch so we could talk and he told me, well everything," Levi said looking down, "when I started to talk I told him I would tell him the truth, but all these years I been holding on to that guilt knowing that I lied to him that day," Levi said closing his eyes and taking a breath.

"What do you mean?" Grisha asked.

"Well, I made him a deal that we could ask each other questions, and we would have to answer them truthfully. In one of my explanations, I had told him that I had stopped trying to kill myself years ago, but that was only half true," Levi sighed. "I had stopped, but I was in mid relapse at the time I was going to go through with it this time, but I told him what I thought he needed to hear to get better," Levi mumbled, "I never really forgave myself for lying to him, but I needed him to know that life does get better," Levi said.

"You told him what you thought he needed to hear," Grisha said, "there's nothing wrong with that," he said. "Besides you have the rest of your life to prove that to be true, to prove that both of your lives are worth living to the fullest. You have time to tell him the truth when you think he's ready," Grisha said.

"Yeah, I guess that's true," Levi said surprisingly agreeing with the man. "Thanks," Levi mumbled almost regretting saying it because of who he just said it too, "I can tell that you really are trying to make amends with Eren, and I wasn't sure about how serious you were at first, but you've definitely proved yourself from what I've heard from Eren, and what I just saw," Levi said after clearing his throat. "So I will try to, as Eren says, play nice. For now at least," Levi said with a nod.

"Thank you," Grisha said giving him a smile, "I won't let you two down. I promise," he said.

"I'll keep you to that promise," Levi said with a nod.

"Alright, well, I think I've kept you from Eren long enough," Grisha smiled, "next time Eren comes to visit feel free to tag along if you want," Grisha said and Levi nodded.

"I probably will," Levi said. Grisha stopped him for a second after seeing something.

"It seems Eren left his phone," Grisha said pointing to the chair Eren was previously sitting in. It looked as if his phone had fallen out of his pocket.

Levi picked up the phone before heading to the door, "bye Mr. Jaeger," Levi said respectfully, which even kinda surprised him, before making his way back to TJ's room.

Eren was standing in the hallway outside of TJ's room waiting for Levi. When Levi walked up and smiled at him he went to grab Eren's hand, but Eren just started walking away. Eren seemed to be walking towards the bathroom, and Levi got the hint and followed him. They pushed open the door and went inside. Eren remained still standing at the sink counter while Levi walked over to the stalls and checked to make sure they were all empty. When they were sure they were in there alone Levi spoke up.

"So what do you want to talk about?" Levi asked.

Eren kept his head lowered and his eyes to the ground. "Wdntytle," Eren had mumbled something so low and fast that not even Levi could make out what he had said.

"What?" Levi asked after trying to piece what he said together for a moment.

Eren's eyes shout up from the floor and looked straight into Levi's eyes. He raised his voice, he wasn't quite yelling, but he definitely wasn't whispering. This time his words came out clear. "Why didn't you tell me?" He asked loudly.

Levi paused for a moment realizing that Eren must have been standing outside the room listening to their conversation. "You were listening?" Levi asked quietly as he felt all the blood drain out of his face.

"I didn't mean to listen in, but I had gone back after realizing I left my phone, and I heard a little more than I was supposed to," Eren mumbled.

"Look Eren I'm sorry," Levi started. Eren looked pissed and Levi didn't blame him. "I should have never lied to you," he said looking away from Eren's gaze that just seemed to be getting angrier and angrier. "I just thought-," Levi was cut off by Eren.

"Shut up," he said loudly causing Levi to shut his eyes tightly. This wasn't how he wanted Eren to find out, and he was hoping that Eren wasn't mad enough to call off the engagement. Eren sighed and walked closer to him. "Look at me," Eren demanded.

Levi hesitated but his eyes opened and his head looked up at him.

"You honestly think I'm mad because you lied to me, like years ago," Eren said folding his arms. "No, I'm mad because you never bothered to tell me that you were hurting, that you were suffering just as much as I was," Eren said before uncrossing his arms and wrapping them around Levi. "I just wish you would tell me these things, so I wouldn't have to overhear them," Eren mumbled in Levi's ear.

"I'm sorry," Levi said hugging Eren back, "I should have told you years ago," Levi said holding Eren tightly.

"Now would you tell me why?" Eren asked, "what pushed you to that point?"

"Well, things were starting to hit really hard since around that time a couple of my friends birthdays had just passed, and those days are nothing but sad reminders of what had happened to them," Levi sighed, "and on top of all that my PTSD had gotten really bad," Levi mumbled.

Eren was a little surprised to hear Levi say that. Levi never really admitted to having PTSD before this, the only ones who ever said that to describe what Levi was feeling was Hanji, or very rarely Erwin, but Levi had never truly admitted to it, that was until now.

"I just felt backed into a corner. I felt as if it was the only way to get away from everything. From the constant pain of survivors guilt, the constant nightmares, the constant feeling of being paranoid about every little thing, the constant flashbacks that would play in my mind. All those feelings and then some had backed me into a corner, and you know what happens when I start to feel cornered," Levi sighed. "But then you came along, and I knew if you could get through what you had been through, then I can get through what I was going through," Levi said looking Eren in the eyes.

The room went quiet, Eren didn't know what to say he just stood there with his lips slightly parted hoping that the words would come, but they never did.

Levi smiled "I never properly thanked you for saving my life," he said pulling Eren into a tighter hug, "so thank you Eren for saving me from myself that day," he said and Eren closed his eyes to stop any tears from forming as he hugged Levi close hoping that they could stay like this forever.

They stayed like that for several minutes until the door to the bathroom opened and some guy walked in. They broke off from the hug making eye contact with the new face. The guy gave them a dirty look and walked through them almost bumping shoulders with both of them.

"Wow, well pardon fucking me asshole," Eren said to the guy before loudly mumbling, "le nerf de certaines personnes,(the nerve of some people)" and with that, he turned to leave his hand in Levi's. They walked out of the bathroom and Levi was almost in tears laughing at Eren's comment.

"And you get on me for cursing too much," Levi laughed.

"Ah shut up," Eren said as they walked back to TJ's room.